The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current, March 27, 1992, Image 9

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The Battalion
Page 9
The Battalion Editorial Board
DOUGLAS PILS, Editor in Chief
The
Battalion
BRIDGET HARROW, Managing Editor
BRIAN BONEY, Opinion Editor
JASON MORRIS, Night News Editor
MORGAN JUDAY, Night News Editor
MACK HARRISON, City Editor
KARL STOLLEIS, Photo Editor
SCOTT WUDEL, Sports Editor
ROB NEWBERRY, Lifestyles Editor
The following opinions are a consensus of The Battalion opinion staff and senior editors.
HE/. 1 *>u
zeorfoMje t f
Burning future
World must stop rain forest destruction
JR
During election years, Americans
tend to forget many issues that would
otherwise concern them. This year is
no exception, especially with the
nation's attention turned toward
domestic woes.
But the fact remains: tropical rain
forests continue to be shredded and
burned at an alarming rate.
A recent report by
the United Nation's
Environmental
Programme and the
World Resources
Institute estimates the
rate of world
deforestation at 65,000
square miles per year.
Irreplaceable rain
forest land equal to
nearly one quarter of
the size of the state of
Texas is burned every
year.
The report predicts
that by 2050 most of the
world's rain forests,
those in South America
in particular, will be
gone.
The loss of such a
huge amount of the
world's foliage could
have substantial adverse
effects on the planet's climate and
weather systems. That fact is enough
to make world leaders pay attention to
the problem, although scientists have
no concrete evidence as to the
repercussions of the possible damage.
However, what information
scientists do have shows the
staggering loss of plant and animal
forests are destroyed. Some estimates
claim that as much as 40 percent of the
world's medical and biological
breakthroughs have come from the
species living in these rain forests.
The world community will attempt
to address this problem at July's U.N.
Environmental Summit in Brazil. It is
imperative that the United States take
a leading role in
putting a halt to the
devastation of the
world's rain forests.
Because economic
forces drive the
destruction of the
forests, the world's
economic leader, the
United States, has
much to say in how
the forests are treated.
Unfortunately, the
actions of the Bush
administration in
dealing with global
warming offer little
hope that the United
States will live up to
its obligation to the
forests. There is no
need for further
study, as the
administration
claimed when it
obstructed a unified global approach
toward curbing the greenhouse effect.
That the rain forests are receding is not
just a hunch, it is a fact.
And it is up to the American people
to pressure their government to protect
the forests. If world governments fail
to stop the destruction of these forests,
the Earth will continue to grow more
barren every day.
CHILDREN'S
Marguues
The j oy of phlegm
Pollen, ragweed fall on campus warranting mucous madness tips
I t's that time of year . . . Spring is in
the air — or hadn't you noticed
that baby-poop yellow haze that
circles our heads like a bad Barry
Manilow song? Of course, spring
break is over now and those of you
who contracted skin cancer have
returned from the
sandy, beer-
infested
hinterlands to our
mean-green
pollinated
campus:
Welcome to
hay fever season .
. . That night time,
sniffling,
sneezing, stuffy-
head, drainage,
coughing, fever,
so you can make
the rest of us
miserable time. Boys and girls, there
are 41,000 of us here. We all have to
live together and I, for one, don't
want to hear your mucous — and
neither does anyone else. So here are
Ma Stacy's handy tips for a Phlegm-
Free Hay Fever Season.
• Don't Snort Your Snot: Probably
one of the single most disgusting
things that the human ear could hear
— aside from some one smacking on
corn chips — is the sound of an
unblown runny nose. And it's not
like it's something you can hide
either. If you (we'll use the politically
correct term, here) expel "human
methane products" in class, you can
blame it on someone's chair
squeaking or perhaps you can just
pretend it never happened if it falls
under the "silent but deadly"
category. But if you start on one of
those nasty sniffling tirades every
five seconds, as the secret of the ooze
drools from your nose, we will all
know who you are — who is
perpetuating those heinous crimes
against nature — we will know you
by the run of your nose and by the
reds of your eyes! You can't hide it —
and in this case, you had better not
pride it — because none of us want to
hear it.
Solution? Go to the grocery store
and buy a port-a-pack of tissue then,
make like a Scout and be prepared:
Blow before you go! Blow before you
sit your hiney in our classrooms,
then, we will all breathe a little easier
— though you'll still be sneezing and
wheezing all the live long day. Of
course if the need arises and the
innundation is just too great, then
please get rid of the mucous madness
in one big, slurpy HONK rather than
in an infinite whiffle of little sniffles.
• Don't flaunt your phlegm:
Following the great mucous morass
(look it up) you will undoubtedly be
inflicted with a deluge of drainage,
i.e. phlegm. Just consider the word,
itself — PHLEGM. It's an ugly word,
and in fact, it's an even uglier
substance. And guess what — none
of us want to see it — or hear it. Don't
distance spit in front of us! Don't
hack it up like a cat with a hairball
within our hearing range! If I had my
way, you'd be licking it up — but
because of some nasty thing called
cruel and unusual punishment, I
can't do that. However, you can be
polite (I can't believe I'm saying this)
and do all of your hacking and
phlegming at home — better yet, just
OD on sinus medicine, go to bed, and
spare us your nastiness. Of course, if
the need arises and the innundation
is too great, when you cough it
up,just damn well swallow it instead
of pretending you're the Tasmanian
devil with a hormone problem.
• Don't cheeze a sneeze: Now for
some pagan and satanic reasons,
certain delicate and polite members
of our society feel the need to cheeze
their sneezes. By definition a
"cheeze-sneeze" is a stifled sneeze —
one that sounds more like a hiccup
than a projectile vomit — and usually
entails the launching of the sneezer's
eyeballs into the next time zone. If
you are having difficulty visualizing
the "cheeze-sneeze," imagine the
effects of placing a poodle in a
microwave and turning it on high —
just imagine it: DON'T TRY THIS AT
HOME! (The animal rights activists
are gonna live this one). Point of the
matter is — and while this may be a
reversal of my stance on snot-
sniffling — I'd rather scrape smoe
glops of snot out from behing my
ears rather than pull exploded
eyeballs out of my hair, wouldn't
you? So if the need arises and the
innundation is just too great, just let it
go, let it blow, let it snow — or rain as
the case may be. Don't cheeze a
sneeze.
• Plan Ahead! Chop Some Trees!: I
can think of no better Pro-Bonfire
argument than the fact that oak trees
produce the tree-turds which shower
this campus in pollen. Granted, the
environmentalist faction may get a bit
angry — but more of us suffer from
hay fever than suffer from the need to
hug trees. Given the amount of pollen
that the male oak tree flowers dump
on this planet each year, and given
the amount of disease and vermin
that can be spread by each of your
sneezing noses, I consider myself
justified in wanting to mow some
oaks. Chop a tree card save a life from
the miseries of hay fever! I'd rather
mow oaks than blow noses any day,
wouldn't you?
Of course, if you'd rather not mow
oaks, slice spruces or eradicate elms ,
you can simply invest in some tissue
and OD on sinus medication and
spare yourself the joys of phlegm and
other chewables, then we can all
breathe a wee bit easier. You heard it
here first.
Feducia is a senior
English and history major
Mail Call
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insults blacks
Wednesday, March 11, was a test day for
Mangement 211 classes. In Professor Patezold's
class, part of our test was on discrimination. One
of the questions on the test was a situation of a
black female employee and a white male manager
where a large sum of money was missing. The
manager pulled the employee into his office,
accused her of stealing the money, and then fired
her after she denied it. He was quoted as saying,
"I should never have hired a black bitch because
you're all lazy. . . ." The question was asking if
she had enough to take him to court. Now, when
I read that question I was very insulted. It took
every ounce of strength for me to continue taking
the test. Being a black female that was a very
insulting, degrading and unnecessary statement
to put on a test. How could a professor put such
a statement on a test. Though I'm sure no harm
was meant by it, it was an unconscious racist
statement. I was not the only one insulted by
"black bitch." Many others I talked to, both black
and white males and females, were just as
insulted.
Professors on this campus should be aware of
the things they say and do. Since racism is not
tolerated by students, it must be the same for
professors. I hope that teachers make a conscious
effort to make sure that statements like the one on
this test do not happen again. If this is supposed
to be a racist-free campus, it needs to start not
only with the students, but also with the
professors and administrators.
Stephanie Williams
Class of '94
White Christians
suffer abuse
I'm sure we've all heard how the Young
Conservatives of Texas monitors lectures for
liberal bias, whatever that means. We've also
heard how they were condemned by several
letters to the editor.
Well, enough is enough. On March 24, Joseph
Trimble wrote a letter stating YCT isn't associated
with the Republican Party. All that was well and
good until he said that the ex-slave founders of
the Republican Party were hanged by "white,
conservative, Christian Democrats."
How dare you, Mr. Trimble, associate true
Christians with people who use the name
Christianity to further their own cruel and
inhuman ends. I like to refer to this brand of
phariseeism as "Churchianity." I detect a note of
anti-white, anti-Christian bias in your letter.
White and Christian-bashing is in vogue right
now. It seems white conservative Christians are
THE scapegoat for every woe minorities face and
are the epitome of evil in society.
The YCT seems to realize this more than many.
Their method was questionable, but I'm
convinced that liberals monitor lectures as well.
Let a professor even mention Christianity, God, or
the Bible and he or she will be descended on by
complaints of abused civil rights. The only
difference between liberal and conservative
complaints like this is that the anti-Christian bias
is listened to. To heed conservatives would be
(you guessed it) a violation of civil rights. It's
perfectly acceptable to attack Christianity or the
white race in public, though. In fact, it's called
being "progressive." Somehow, the Constitution
doesn't apply to white conservatives anymore. I
wonder where it went.
Finally, Mr. Trimble, let me shock you further
by stating that I'm proud of being white and a
Christian. If you said what you did about any
other faith or race, you'd be liable to a lawsuit,
but since I'm only a white man, you'll probably
be lauded.
James Sexton
Class of '92
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There is no guarantee the
letters will appear. Letters may
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McDonald, sent to Campus
Mail Stop 1111 or can be faxed
to 845-2647.