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By Julia E.S. Spencer
"Hot Shots" is a relentlessly
silly, rapid-fire send-up of flyboy
films, which considering its
scattershot humor, has an amaz
ingly high hit-to-miss ratio. This
reviewer tallied at least 155 differ
ent sight gags, which averages out
to about 1.7 per minute, not count
ing the many additional sound
gags. While not all are laugh-out-
loud funny, there are enough truly
inspired jokes to send you away
with a grin.
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First and foremost a take-off
on 'Top Gun," "Hot Shots" also
aims its big guns at a number of
other recent films ripe for lampoon
ing, such as "Dances With Wolves,"
"The Fabulous Baker Boys," "9 1/
2 Weeks," and 'The Hunt for Red
October."
The excuse for all these jokes,
i.e. the plot, concerns one Lt. Sean
"Topper" Harley, a motorcycle
riding maverick pilot who hasbeen
kicked out of the Navy for a $30
million mistake.
He must also live with the ig
nominy of his father's disastrous
last flight, which ended in the navi
gator, "Milkman,'"s being mis
taken for a deer and shot. He has
attempted to appease his con
science by taking a Native Ameri
can name and going to live in a tipi
with an aged brave.
However, when Lt. Cmdr.
Block (Kevin Dunn) comes to re
cruit "Topper" for an elite corps of
flyers he's getting together for an
important misssion, code-named
L" ,
Jim "Wash Out’ Pfaffenbach (Jon Cryer) and Admiral "Tug" Benson (Lloyd Bridges) help guide the Navy’s best pilots through their mission in
"Hot Shots".
"Sleepy Weasel," the young pilot
jumps at the chance to wipe the
blot off his family's escutcheon.
At the base, he encounters the
liam O'Leary), and wall-eyed Jim
"Wash Out" Pffaffenbach (Jon
Cryer). He also meets beautiful,
multi-talented Ramada (Valeria
This reviewer tallied at least 155
different sight gags, which aver
ages out to about 1*7 per minute.
unfortunate "Milkman'"s son, ar- Golino), the base psychiatrist who
rogant pretty boy Kent Gregory moonlights as a slinky nightclub
(Cary Elwes), sincere, clean-cut chanteuse. Their fearless leader,
Pete "DeadMeat" Thompson (Wil- Adm. "Tug" Benson (Lloyd
Bridges), is a crusty old coot who
has been shot down and shot at so
many times that most of his body
consists of replacement parts.
The whole cast, especially the
brooding Sheen, somehow man
ages to keep a straight face through
out the proceedings, although the
script, concocted by "Naked Gun"
collaborators Pat Proft and Jim
Abrahams, certainly makes it dif
ficult.
The presence of "Top Gun"
executive producer Bill Badalato
See HOT SHOTS/Page 6
Bargains, Barbecue > Bed & Breakfast Inns
Calvert opens doors for
annual antique celebration
By Yvonne Salce
In 1868, Calvert towns
people never would have imag
ined that their cotton-booming
town would one day become the
antique center of Texas.
In fact, what once was the
fourth largest town in the state is
now the fourth smallest town.
Visiting Calvert is like step
ping back into time. With its
quaint Victorian homes and
unique antique and specialty
shops, Calvert has become a na
tional historic district.
Addie Lowe, a resident of
Calvert, says there are more than
70 historical homes and build
ings in Calvert, which has a
population of 1,100.
On Saturday and Sunday,
antique collectors, artisans and
folks just looking for a way to
relax can experience an old fash
ioned, lazy summer day at the
8th annua 1 Summer Antique Sale
and Celebration. Sponsored by
the Calvert Antique Guild, the
celebration features bargain an
tiques, barbecue booths and live
music on historic Main Street.
"This is our biggest thing
that we have all year," says
Lowe.
Art Galleries and museums
will be open for visitors. Or,
take a quiet and relaxing stroll
through the small town's tree-
shaded streets and tour the re
stored historic homes.
Several delightful bed and
breakfast inns are open in
Calvert. Overnight guests are
greeted with wine and cheese
upon arrival and treated to a
gourmet breakfast.
But bed and breakfast res
ervations for this weekend will
not be too promising.
Lowe expects several thou
sand people to visit Calvert on
this big weekend.
"Last year, during this sale
and celebration, large crowds
came from all over the United
Sta tes and a n even grea ter crowd
is expected this year," she says.
Calvert is located on High
way 6, between Waco and Bryan.
For more information, call (409)
364-2933.
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Stage Center performs
'Seven Keys to Baldpate'
ELO should RIP, Moody Blues slips up again
By Julia E.S. Spencer
Stage Center's latest pro
duction, "Seven Keys to Bald-
pate," is an intricately plotted
mustery drama with as many
twists and turns as there are
keys.
Although “Baldpate”
pretends to be quasi-
serious, there is a lot
of comedy in the
various awkward
situations the
characters find
themselves in.
The Baldpate of the title is
a secluded hilltop inn, a popu
lar resort during the summer,
but deserted and locked tight
during the wintertime.
Enter William Magee (Tim
Newkirk), best-selling writer
of potboilers and assorted pulp
novels, who has come to the
isolated
spot to
write.
He has
made a
$5,000
bet with
t h e
owner of
the place
that he
can
write a
novel in
t h e
space of ~
24 hours. Magee is assured he
won't be disturbed, since he
has been given the only key to
the inn.
Once the caretakers
leave, he settles in to write.
But before you can say
"Raymond Chandler," he is in
terrupted by a whole parade
of crazy characters, who all act
as if they had stepped out of
one of his dime novels.
The first uninvited guest
is John Bland (David
Campbell), one of the mayor's
henenmen, there to deposit a
packet of payola money for
later retrieval. There is an
elaborate scheme afoot to pay
off mayor Jim Cargan (George
Wier) $500,000 to give a cov
eted street-car franchise to rail
road president Thomas
Hayden (Charles Pitman).
At first Magee is enter
tained by this motley crew,but
as the endless flow of intrigue
begins to jeopardize his chance
of winning the bet, he becomes
increasingly exasperated.
The only bright spot is the
arrival of Mary Norton (Kathy
Strom), an attractive reporter
lured to the inn by the rumor
that a payoff may be going
down there that night. Magee
takes to Mary instantly, claim
ing that although he has often
chronicled love at first sight in
his books, he has never experi
enced it first hand.
Their tete-a-tete is inter
rupted by Mrs. Rhodes (De
Anne Moore), the mayor's
fiancee, Peters (John
Cairney),
prim
a misan
thropic
hermit,
and an-
other
wave of
conspira
tors, in
cluding
Myra
Thornhill
(Stacey
Noessel),
a gold
digging
doublecrosser who claims to
be Hayden's wife, and Lou
Max (Ronald Turner), Bland's
flunky.
All this melodrama is ex
citing for the mild-mannered
Magee, who has previously
only imagined such goings-on,
but takes to the situation like
Bogie took to Bacall. Truth is
proving much stranger than
fiction...or is it?
Although "Baldpate" pre
tends to be quasi-serious, there
is a lot of comedy in the vari
ous awkward situations the
characters find themselves in.
As Peters, the ghostly hermit
with his own mysterious
See SEVEN KEYS/Page 6
By Timm Doolen
This summer I've seen more
old bands get together and put out
a new album than I can remember
in recent history. We have had Yes.
Queen, the Rolling Stones, Tom
Petty and the Heartbreakers, Joe
Walsh, the Doobie Brothers,
Lynyrd Skynyrd, Paul McCartney
and on and on.
Recently two more veterans of
rock, the Moody Blues and ELO,
have thrown their respective hats
in the ring (see below).
Now I must say that a few of
these oldies are still putting out
some real goodies (Queen, Petty,
Walsh), but others have really gone
downhill as they reach the over-
the-
hill
age.
will not
of fe n d
fans of
any of
these
groups (all
of which
were at the
top of their
form and good
artists at one
time) by naming
which of these
groups have gone
south. But I will say
that a few select
bands either need to
branch out in new di
rection or call it quits.
Light Orchestra was getting back
together. I thought Jeff Lynne was
happy doing solo stuff and the
Wilbury thing."
Well I was right—they weren't
getting back together. This group,
coyly named ELO Part Two, is re
ally a bunch of the old ELO band
members (sans Jeff Lynne, ELO's
creative force) who got together
and decided to put out an album.
Despite thealmostblatantmis-
representation (after all, can ELO
be called ELO without Jeff Lynne?),
I decided to give the group a chance
and not be biased by this almost
false advertising.
Honestly, it's not as good as
old ELO, but then again it's not
much worse than ELO's last few
albums. The group tries for the feel
of the old stuff, using classical in
struments and orchestrations, but
it isn't as cohesive as in the old
stuff.
it were added as an afterthought.
In the old ELO songs, the orches
trations and the rock music comple
mented each other. On ELO Part II,
they coexist with each other.
There are bright spots. The
brief opener "Hello" sounds like
it's an unknown cut from an old
album; "Honest Man" and "For
the Love of a Woman" (which
sounds a lot like a Roy Orbison
song) are both musically appeal
ing.
But remember, I make these
statements with the understand
ing that this is '70s-style music. If
you're expecting something from
this decade, forget it.
On the downside, "Every
Night" has some of the worst lyr
ics: I see what you do every night,
every night/ And I want you to do
it to me. And "Heartbreaker" and
"Thousand Eyes" are some of the
most generic rock songs I've heard
in awhile.
Moody Blues
Keys of the King
Polydor Records
The Moody Blues have been
progressively slipping ever since
Long Distance Voyager, and their
latest album, while not completely
worthless, doesn't do much to per
suade that they have reversed the
trend.
In the late '60s and early '70s
this group of five Englishmen
broke musical ground with such
"revolutionary" albums as "Days
of Future Past," "In Search of the
Lost Chord" and "Seventh So
journ."
One of the songs on Keys has
already hit the airwaves, "Say It
with Love," and it is fairly repre
sentative of the whole album.
The thing about the Moody
Blues' last few albums is that they
have the sound of the
old MB, but the qual
ity of the music is
much worse. On
both The Other Side
of Life and Sur La
Mt?r, the band has
moved away
from the guitar
and to a syn
thesizer-
based music,
which has
really been
to the its
detri
ment.
The
The Moody Blues
Electric Light Orchestra Part Two
Electric Light Orchestra Part Two
Scotti Brothers
When I first saw this album in
the stores, I thought to myself,
"Hey, I didn't know the Electric
In fact, the album reeks of '70s
rock, which many will find dis
tasteful. But judged against the
pretense of a '70s rock album, it's
not too bad.
But again, some of the orches
tration sounds forced, almost as if
I must admit that the album is
somewhat enjoyable, mainly be
cause it has a nostalgic feel to it, but
I wouldn't recommend buying it.
Wait until it hits the bargain bins
which, considering I've heard al
most no publicity for this album,
may be only a few weeks away.
Keys aren't bad, but in my mind
they blend in with the unheard
cuts off the previous two albums.
And if a band can't do some
thing new and unique with their
music, why even bother putting
out new albums?