The Battalion LIFESTYLES Thursday, April 19,1990 Lifestyles Editor Mary-Lynne Rice 845-331 Signing up. r—r-,—^— kf x- Ik*' /k- ' • ' ' ^4 ^ . i —- — Photo by Fredrick D. Joe Ken Manthei paints the north wall of Holick’s owns a sign painting business and draws editorial Boot Makers on Northgate Wednesday. Manthei cartoons for the Bryan-College Station Eagle. Crazy ads only amusing parts of gimmicked 4 Crazy People By TODD STONE Of The Battalion Staff The film “Crazy People” depends on a clever gimmick — the promo tion of off-beat and zany advertise ments of popular products. The hilarious ads are designed to hook the public into the theaters. The previews for the film show a funny ad such as, “Metamucil — it helps you go to the toilet.” The viewer thinks, “Oh, that’s funny. I think I’ll see the movie.” That is exactly what real estate companies do by giving you a free toaster ... all you have to do is take a three-hour condominium tour, and the $7.95 toaster is yours. But you don’t want to waste your time on the tour, you just want the toaster. I felt the same way watching “Crazy People.” I just wanted the 15 minutes of funny advertisments, not a contrived movie that was put to gether in a half-hearted manner. Dudley Moore stars as Steve, an advertising copy writer, who loses touch with reality because his wife left him. He is convinced that his job as an advertiser is to tell lies to the public. Since he’s off-balance, he creates honest ads that are terrible for a marketer, but funny for a movie au dience. At the company’s request, Steve ends up in a mental institution, where he is surrounded by ... you guessed it — “crazy people.” Daryl Hannah plays a flaky pa tient, Kathy, who becomes Steve’s romantic interest. In an unrealistic series of events, Steve’s advertisements are used across the nation and become a hit. Suddenly, the ad company wants Steve to write more wacko ads. But Steve wants to stay at the insti tution, so he gets the mentally ill pa tients to write ads with him. The film’s storyline was frustrat ing to watch — get a few laughs from a crazy ad, follow with 20 minutes of boring story, then wake up the audi ence with anther funny ad. Of course the plot has no credibil ity, and the filmmakers rely on the ads and the insane characters to CRAZY PEOPLE Starring Dudley Moore and Da Hannah Directed by Tony Bill Rated R make the film entertaining. Welly ads are funny, but the performa* are unoriginal and uninspired. Hannah and Moore are ci pletely forgettable in their rol They have no screen diemistry gether, and since the story is signed to set up the advertiser jokes, there is nothing for the stars to do but be boring. What a waste. Moore can be funny comedian, as he wasiml films “10” and “Arthur.” Hann; best performances were in two a medics — “Splash” and “Roxanne,' If the amusing ads were consol idated into 15 minutes of might be worth the price of a noiit ticket. But since “Crazy People” is dribble, the toaster just isn’t won! the tour through this film. Reviewer refutes columnists’ rejection of state of modern music Beyond Top 40: alternative music supersedes 6 soulless’ pop By JOHN RIGHTER Of The Battalion Staff Having been the “music critic” for The Battalion this year, I’ve endured great crit icism and confrontation about my musical opinions and beliefs. Last Thursday, opinion page columnists Timm Doolen and Matt McBurnett collabo rated on a disgustingly trite, cliche-ridden editorial on the state of modern music. Now, I consider Timm and Matt to be two of The Battalion’s finest writers, and a couple of great guys, but the opportunity to dish back some of the crap I’ve had dished on me this year is just too irresistible. The fact that Timm and Matt love classic rock is great. Some incredible music came from the ’60s and ’70s. The Beatles, David Bowie, Jimi Hendrix, the Velvet Underground and the Clash are all musical heroes and some of my favorite performers. And certainly, none can argue the influence they have had on today’s mu sic. The problem is Timm and Matt’s elitist attitude and musical ignorance. Timm and Matt write, “...today’s popular ‘music’ is, for the most part, prepackaged, soulless muzak for the mind.” Has “popular” music ever been any dif ferent? I have this deep suspicion that Timm and Matt like classic rock so darn much because they assume, like so many others, that MTV, 104.7 KKYS and Has tings Music are fully representative of to day’s music. Well, guys, if you reach far enough into a trash can, you’re probably going to pull out a handful of trash. And judging today’s music by big-time radio stations, MTV and chain record stores will definitely result in a fistful of ma nure. Fortunately, there lies a sea of alterna tives that any music fan should be frothing at the mouth to find. A couple of statements in Timm and Matt’s editorial tipped me off to their igno rance. First, they claim that most of today’s mu sicians do not write their own music, play their own instruments, sing their own songs over Leo Sayer, ABBA, the Bee Gees or Christopher Cross? Yet all four performers have recorded several number-one singles. Second, calling hardcore, rap and indus trial dance heartless, non-expressive and “soulless muzak for the mind” is utterly ri diculous. Although we can argue on the quality of musicianship (an argument I’ll win), no one who has ever taken the time to listen to a hardcore, rap or industrial dance band, or better yet, seen them perform live, can hon estly say these bands are not the most en I hese are bands committed to their music as a way of life. You won’t ever hear a Black Flag or Ministry song playing backdrop for a sneaker commercial. “Revolution” is in their hearts, not on their feet. (if no one writes any of their own music, or sing any of their songs, then how do they end up being recorded?), take part in their production or write in a meaningful and expressive manner. Timm, Matt, do R.E.M., U2, the Cure, the Police, Metallica, the Replacements, Living Colour, Prince, Tracy Chapman or the Talking Heads mean anything to you? If you want to judge the ’80s by Paula Abdul, New Kids On The Block and Milli Vanilli, then let’s judge the ’60s by Pat Boone, Johnny Mathis and the Monkees. Pop music is a fad by its very nature. The majority of pop artists come along, have their 15 minutes of fame, and then go off to appear weekly on “The Gong Show” or tag along on a revue tour with Herman’s Her mits and the Beach Boys. How many of us still get really stoked ergetic, emotional and self-expressive per formers ever. These are bands committed to their mu sic as a way of life. You won’t ever hear a Black Flag or Ministry song playing back drop for a sneaker commercial. “Revolu tion” is in their hearts, not on their feet. Further, if Matt and Timm had thought their argument through, they would have realized that both the Beatles and the Roll ing Stones began their careers by recording blues covers. In fact, if Timm and Matt could go back in their little time warp they would realize in the early ’60s most Americans considered the Beatles to be some “Euro-fag dance crap.” At one time the Beatles were a regu lar chip off the New Kids On The Block. By listing the Traveling Wilburys and the release of David Bowie’s CD collection as the highlights of the ’80s, I realize Timm and Matt just haven’t had the courage to pull their heads out of their holes. Those big stadiums are sure safe and comfortable, and boy, aren’t those Has tings’ CD sales great. I was scared once, too, guys. When I was nine or 10, I also listened to the local “pop” station, and if there had been an MTV then, well, darn, I probably would’ve watched my fair share of “Downtown” Julie Brown and Kevin Seal. It’s time, however, to be a little creative and to shed our musical ignorance. Saying nothing good has happened to rock since the ’60s shows as much common sense as saying nothing positive has happened to physics since that darn apple fell on New ton’s head. Rock has grown through a natural pro gression, building on the best of the ’60s and ’70s, and with this growth it has wid ened, deepened and improved. It’s gotten so good that it is impossible to keep up with everything that is going on. Do you realize the increase in musical as sortment, innovation and expertise that has occured in just the past five years? Ob viously not. Timm and Matt miss the real problems with today’s music —one being the audi ence. How many of you have honestly ever listened to Dinosaur Jr, the Meat Puppets, 7Seconds, Hugo Largo, Fugazi or Camper Van Beethoven? Open your eyes, be resourceful and don’t let the opportunity to experience the bi zarre and wonderful pass by. The number one thing killing today’s music isn’t pop, its the money-grubbing, hyped-for-nuthin’ “dinosaur” tours that take away from bands who truly and sionately care about their music and notjii the money. The recent albums by Anderson ford, Wakeman and Howe, the Dookie Brothers and the Jefferson Airplane rat disgraceful, unimaginative and incredilli sloppy. There’s your “soulless,” guys. If you want to judge the ’80sby Paula Abdul, New Kids On The Block and Milli Vanilli, then let’s judge the ’60s by Pat Boone, Johnny Mathis and the Monkees. — And McCartney, he’s more concernd with peddling his tourbooks, full of per sonal propoganda and idolatory, than will making a decent solo album. Why do you think his concert was50per cent Beatles songs, and the rest Wings material? Thank Cod he was smart enoughtoteam up with Elvis Costello (a modern man, m less) on his last album. As a final test, let’s compare the 'f leases of Timm and Matt’s heroes mine. Dirty Work (the Rolling StonesJ Knocked Out Loaded (Bob Dylan), Fact! Dances (The Who), Never Let Me Don| (David Bowie), and Pipes of Peace ( McCartney) versus The Joshua Tree{ Murmur (R.E.M.), Vivid (Living Cok Tracy Chapman (Tracy Chapman) Tim (the Replacements). 1 rest my case. TV special recaptures spirit of odd variety show NEW YORK (AP) — Remember Sunday nights, when people would gather around the tube and tribalize with Ed Sullivan and jugglers and magicians and acrobats and puppets and beautiful ladies in tights? What did they call that stuff? Oh, yeah. Variety. If you miss those days, CBS and magician-author Ricky Jay offer a droll, affectionate and engrossing hour tonight of ’90s-style vaudeville: “Learned Pigs and Fireproof Wo men.” You just don’t see this stuff on TV nowadays. The show’s title comes from Jay’s book, a history of such esoteric acts as pigs who could do arithmetic and women who could endure steak- broiling temperatures. The entertainments are inter spersed with backstage business, his toric footage and photos illustrating the extent to which jugglers, magi cians and daredevils would go to thrill an audience. Jay opens the show in Los An geles’ Warner Grand Theater with his own amazing ability to throw playing cards farther, faster and harder than anyone in history. “Un fortunately, this theater is too small,” he allows. Then he demonstrates WHY the theater is too small, defending him self against various fruits up to and including a belligerent watermelon. For further instruction, see his book “Cards as Weapons.” “That dates back to my childhood in Brooklyn, when I started throw ing baseball cards,” Jay said. “I dis covered I could hit things.” The pace is wonderful. If Shakun- tala Devi, the lady who calculates cube roots at a glance doesn’t thrill you, there’s another act right behind it. Like Michael Moschen, a man who juggles himself, who delight fully animates a crystal ball. Or Mea- gan Riesel, a 100-pound strongwo- man for the ’90s, who shows off her mastery of the “odic force,” a skill that lets her resist being lifted or dis placed by much stronger, heavier people. Jamey Turner, a virtuoso on glass harp, plays Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” on 60 water-filled brandy snift ers, and quick-change artist Michael McGiveney plays all the parts in a scene from the stage play “Oliver Twist.’ ” John Gaughan, the leading de signer of magical illusions, shows off his restoration of an automaton ac robat, a fascinating mechanical de vice built by the great magician Rob ert Houdin in 1847. And Steve Martin, the comedian, brings in “lost footage” of his vaude- villian grandfather, The Great Fly- dini, one of the greatest magicians of all time, who produces all manner of innocent objects from a startling place. “These are people that I am par ticularly fascinated by,” Jay said. “This is my world. These people are all, to some extent, my friends and some are also my very close friends.” All these delightful acts are inter spersed with amusing backstage business: A woman in Bo Peep outfit leads an enormous hog and a very small bike offstage. “How’d it go?” Jay asks. “Not so good,” says Bo, looking tired. “He wouldn’t do the wheelie.” Tune in. In Advance Aggie Players to present opening of comedy ‘Steel Magnolias’ tonight The Aggie Players will present their debut performance of Rob ert Harling’s “Steel Magnolias” tonight at 8 in Rudder Forum. The play, set in a Louisiana beauty shop, chronicles the life of six women over a two-year pe riod. Starring in “Steel Magnolias” are Lanell Pena as Truvy, Lisa Wood as Annelle, Desiree Dun- man as Clairee, Genifer Green as Shelby, Ren Powell as M’Lynn and Mary Ellen Brennan as Ouiser. Robert Wenck will direct. The play continues Friday, Sat- urday ad April 25-28. Tickets are on sale at Rudder Box Office. Prices are $5 for the general pub lic and $4 for students and senior citizens. For reservations and informa tion, call 845-1234. Bobby Mack and Night Train Battalion file photo to record live album at local club Country singer Lionel Cartwright will perform Saturday at 10:30 at the Texas Hall of Fame, on FM 2818 in Bryan. Tickets are $8 in advance and $10 at the door. New country artist Cartwright to perform at Texas Hall of Fame The rhythm and blues band- Bobby Mack and Night Train will record a live album Friday at the Front Porch Cafe from 9:30 p.m.-l:30 a.m. The album will be Mack’s third release and his first live project with the band. Mack, who was musical direc tor of the Texas/USSR Music Re vue, was awarded the title of “Musical Ambassador to the World” by the Texas Senate. Call 846-LIVE for more infor mation. Annual day-long JazzFest returns to College Station’s Central Park Country singer Lionel Cartw right will perform at the Texas Hall of Fame Saturday at 10:30 p.m. Cartwright, who was nomi nated for the Best New Male Vo calist award by the Academy of Country Music, released me sin gles “Like Father Like Son,” “Give Me His Last Chance” and “In My Eyes” from his 1989 de but album. Tickets are on sale at the Hall of Fame. For more information, call 822-2222. The College Station Parks and Recreation Department will host JazzFest ’90 on April 21 from noon to midnight at Central Park, 1000 Krenek Tap Road in Col lege Station. Entertainment will include: Don Pope and Friends (noon), Mady Kaye Quintet featuring Tony Compise (2 p.m.), 1 he Wise Guys (4 p.m.), North Texas One O’Clock Lab Band (6 p.m), Trella Hart (8 p.m.) and The TAMU Jazz Band (10 p.m.). Other attractions include game booths and a learning circus for children. Refreshments will be available. Admission is free.