The Battalion
LIFESTYLES
Monday, November 20, 1989
Escort services provide Aggies
with on-campus protection
Police urge more concern for students’ well-being
Photo by Mike C. Mulvey
Jim Kerry, a member of Squadron 11, escorts Mosher Hall resident Tricia Washburn to the Evans Library.
By Katsy Pittman
Of The Battalion Staff
It’s a cold and very dark night as you leave the
library and walk toward your car, which, as usual,
is parked five miles away. Was that a footstep you
heard behind you? You really can’t tell since the
streetlight is broken.
Why, oh why, didn’t you just call one of the
campus escort services?
According to Lt. Bert Kretzshmar of the Uni
versity Police Department, calling an escort serv
ice is exactly what the police hope you’ll do.
“Personal safety is a big thing around here
now,” he said. “And the campus police are really
pushing it.”
The campus police offer an escort service 24
hours a day, and will escort students from any
where on campus. The best thing about the po
lice escort may be that you get to ride in a police
car — without being in trouble.
Eighty-three females used the service last
month, but Kretzshmar says the police would like
to see more use it.
One reason students don’t use the service
more often is that they don’t realize the officers
who patrol parking areas can give people rides.
Police officers don’t come right out and ap
proach students, Kretzshmar said, because many
girls get the wrong idea when a man (even if he is
a police officer) offers them a ride in his car at 2
a.m. in the middle of a deserted parking lot.
Officer Betty LeMay said students should not
hesitate to ask for a ride if they are reluctant to
walk across campus by themselves.
“If you see a police officer, flag him down!”
LeMay said. “That’s why they are out there.”
The campus police admit that they occasionly
are flooded with calls when students call them at
peak hours. However, Kretzshmar said it’s far
better to wait a few minutes and call back than to
take the risk of walking long distances on campus
late at night.
The Corps Guard Room also is sometimes
overcome by calls, but perhaps that is because it is
an even more popular campus escort service.
Brian Robinson, a senior cadet from Uvalde,
said the Guard Room sometimes gets up to 60
See Escort/Page 5
Lifestyles Editor Dean Sueltenfuss 845-3
Allen’s new movie
‘Crimes’ might be
best effort thus far
By Todd Stone
Of The Battalion Staff
With his most recent film,
“Crimes and Misdemeanors,”
Woody Allen once again proves
that he is a master filmmaker.
“Crimes” may be considered
Allen’s best cinematic effort, com
bining his dry wit, intellect and
feel for drama. Allen also added
philosophical perspectives within
the story.
“Crimes” is actually two movies
in one, or at least two storylines.
First, the film is a fascinating
character study of a married
man, Judah (Martin Landau) try
ing to end an affair. However, the
woman is obsessed with Judah
and will not tolerate ending the
relationship. She threatens to ex
pose the affair to Judah’s wife
and to disclose other of his ques
tionable activities.
Although this woman isn’t as
wacko as Glenn Close in “Fatal
Attraction,” she is still a serious
threat to the entire order of Ju
dah’s life. She has the potential to
ruin his marriage, Family and ca
reer. Judah’s brother suggests
“she can be gotten rid of.” Judah
has two serious choices: either tell
his wife about the affair and hope
to be forgiven, or have this psy
cho-queen killed.
On the lighter side is the story
of Carl (Woody Allen). He is a
middle-aged, intellectual
filmmaker who isn’t successful, is
stuck in a passionless marriage
and must direct a documentary
about his wife’s pompous
brother, Lester (Alan Alda).
Lester is everything Carl isn’t.
First, he is a successful filmmaker
of superficial television shows
(anything but public television is
superficial, according to Allen).
Lester is also charming and hand
some, but shallow and vain.
As if Carl doesn’t have it bad
enough, he is competing with
Lester for the affection of one
woman, Halley, (Mia Farrow)
who could bring happiness to
Carl’s life.
The characters of one story are
primarily detached from the
characters of the other. The only
connection is that Lester’s
brother is a patient of Judah (who
is an optometrist).
The entire cast of characters
interacts only during the begin
ning and end of the movie ai
large social functions. Otherwise,
the film drifts from one story lo
the other.
Most of the humor of the film
occurs during Allen's perfot
mance as Carl and Alda's perfor
mance as the nauseating Lester.
Allen, who wrote and direetd
the film, effectively includes clas
sic Woody Allen one-liners as
well.
“The last time 1 was inside a
woman was when I visited tht
Statue of Liberty,” Carl com
plains. vS
A
The characters explore mam
avenues of thought. Judah pon
ders the value of a human beinj
and the existence of God. Can
tries to discover the source of
happiness and true accomplish
ment in life.
The dilemma each character
faces is not happily resolved
within two hours of film time. A!
len realizes that in reality these
questions often are never an
swered. His conclusions remain
open-ended with tidbit phrases
such as “we define ourselves by
our choices we have made," and
“most human beings have the
ability to keep trying and find
happiness through the simple
things.”
The movie isn’t deep enough
to be strictly labeled as an intellec
tual effort. The story of Judah is
dramatic and intense, but the
movie has many lighter moments
as weU. For a\\ the phsUmpfe,
dilemmas and plots introduced
the film doesn’t forget to enter
tain.
If you are someone who needs
a change from the mindless drih-
ble often associated with hit-mai
ing films, “Crimes and Misde
meanors” might be the thought-
provoking tonic you need.
For Cryin’ Out Loud, these bands ain’t Pathetic
B-CS groups release demo tapes
By John Righter
Of The Battalion Staff
For Cryin’ Out Loud
It’s Rainin’ Hepcats and Dogmas
Basilhead
If you were to take the best (or
worst — they’re both the same) parts
of the Dead Milkmen, Violent Fem
mes, Wall Of Voodoo and the Circle
Jerks and cram ’em all into a blender
set at ultrahigh, you might just end
up with For Cryin’ Out Loud, or at
least a mutation closer to the truth
than I can describe.
But providing an accurate de
scription really doesn’t matter, be
cause the band makes no sense what
soever, and seemingly has no
purpose . . . which is why they are so
damn good.
With Chris Cessac on guitars and
lead vocals, Bob Burrus on bass and
Mike Thompson behind the drum
kit, the band has released it’s second
tape, titled/t’s Rainin’ Hepcats and
Dogmas, which is another dose of
three-chord, 60-second bashes that
range from surreal to trash-rock to
kindergarten rhyme-rock to simple
sarcasm and parody.
Twenty-four meaningless tracks
grace a tape that is first class all the
way down to it’s title and packaging
(a vibrant collage of nonsense and
satire). In fact, I had It’s Rainin’
Hepcats and Dogmas penciled in as
album title of the year until Ministry
released A Mind Is A Terrible
Thing To Taste this week.
The group will just have to settle
for best song parody for it’s rendi
tion of “I Think We’re Alone Now,”
an even grosser mutation of the
Tommy James song than Tiffany’s
vile effort. It’s so sweet to find a
band who takes pride in totally dis
membering a song, forgetting the ly
rics, mutilating the rhythm section,
and still releasing it on a tape. Only a
band that sings “Bang your Head” to
an acoustic guitar would have such
wonderful gall.
“Well ... I never thought the sec
ond verse was nearly as important as
the first verse. Sooooo . . . rather
than say the second you get... he he
he he,” shrieks a snotty Cessac in a
ghastly offtune line during “I Think
We’re Alone Now.”
The whole tape leaves the lesser
of us wondering if For Cryin’ Out
Loud takes anything seriously. Fur
ther, with such a perfect blend of
vulgar parody, witty satire and origi
nal, albeit simple, deliveries, you
have to wonder if For Cryin’ Out
B.
'ut this is only a small
taste of For Cryin’ Out
Loud’s worldly visions and
revealing introspections. “I
Want To Have Test-Tube
Sex With You,” “Surfboard
Cowboy” and “My Dog
Spider”. . . are other tales
treated with a literary
brilliance that most young
songwriters only dream of.
not.” The biting testimony is inten
sified with the bizarre rhyme that
details the life of a boy named
Jimmy and his indecision towards
catfish, the twist and beer in a su
perb portrayal of wasted human en
deavor.
But this is only a small taste of For
Cryin’ Out Loud’s worldly visions
and revealing introspections. “I
Want To Have Test-Tube Sex With
You,” “Surfboard Cowboy” and “My
Dog Spider” (a touching story of the
love between a boy and his dog, snif
fle, sniffle) are other tales treated
with a literary brilliance that most
young songwriters only dream of.
For Cryin’ Out Loud is to local
music what John Waters is to movies
— tactless and vile with no aesthetic
importance . . . but oh so enjoyable.
It’s Rainin’ Hepcats and Dogmas —
buy it, steal it, sell your soul for it —
it’s worth it.
Loud doesn’t have something be
yond a loyal B-CS following.
Just look at the Dead Milkmen.
Believe me, For Cryin’ Out Loud is
better than the Dead Milkmen. Of
course a lot of it will depend on
whether the band learns to take its
unserious approach to music se
riously.
But back to the tape. “I don’t want
to be ketchup/ I don’t want to be to
mato paste/ Or spaghetti sauce/ But
mostly not KETCHUP,” is a typical
Cessac approach to dealing with his
frustration of forsaken ideals and
youthful disillusionment.
The end of side two further
proves Cessac’s importance as a B-
CS counter-culture legend, spouting
out “Sometimes you meet a person
for five minutes and they change
your entire way of life . . . sometimes
Pathetic Sketch
Pathetic Sketch
Stunes
Mr. Sting look-alike Paul “Stu”
Pugh and company headed into Ke
vin Bomar’s Airplay Studio with
little idea of what they wanted. For
tunately, they came out of there with
an impressive, wonderfully raw
demo.
Self-titled, Pathetic Sketch’s five-
song cassette balances on a tightrope
between originality and accessibility.
It’s definitely their own style, yet it’s
conventional enough to entertain
both classic and college-oriented
rockers.
It’s not really fair to try and label
the trio’s sound, but in an attempt to
give you an idea, it falls somewhere
in a triangle of Eric Clapton, Guada-
canal Diary and Todd Rundgren.
Of course they are no where near
as talented or accomplished as any of
the above, but these predictable
weaknesses work in their favor. Play
ing with a noticeable uncertainty, the
band (Pugh, guitars and lead vocals;
The Kerouacs are one of several Bryan-
College Station bands that have released
demo tapes. Others include Pathetic
Sketch and For Cryin’ Out Loud.
Brian Kraylevich, bass and Mark
McSwain, drums) holds back some
of its live energy, and surprisingly
showcases Pugh’s less-than-perfect
vocals.
Stripping down their sound to the
raw basics. Pathetic Sketch stays
within the plane of simple, steady ar
rangements, placing well-deserved
emphasis on Pugh’s and Kraylevich’s
lyrics. No they’re not incredible ly
rics, but they give their authors the
impression that they are, which is
sometimes good enough. And at
least Pathetic Sketch decided to ven
ture out beyond regurgitated spiels
of lost love and college addictions.
The finale, “Driving By Your
House,” is a beautifully arranged
song. A true work of musicianship,
the song forcefully hides its rhythm
in the back of your mind, peeping
up when you least expect it.
“Poet’s Lair” and “To The Sky”
are other gems, simple melodies that
are beautiful in their starkness. Even
the questionable “Bomb,” a weak,
overdone jab at satire, still retains
some freshness with Pugh’s tongue-
in-cheek delivery.
Unfortunately, at the end of this
semester Pathetic Sketch will most
likely call it quits. With graduation,
the band will vanish with only a few
people having heard them. This
demo will disappear just as quietly,
which is a shame. It certainly is not
in danger of stealing a major record
contract, but it is a wonderful docu
mentary of three people who de
cided to go into a studio and record
their feelings and inspirations on
tape. Pathetic Sketch is definiie
worth your effort to find.
The Kerouacs
Another Day Older. . .
Drutunes
It’s strange. The Kerouacs
without question the most taleitf
(and popular) of the three I
and their demo is really good, iff
can stand straightforward rock E
roll. There is no gimmick behind ft
Kerouacs. They are just four
musicians quite content with
FM-style rock. Which isn’t bad, i
just boring compared to the wad !
ness of For Cryin’ Out Loud andft
raw hummings of Pathetic Sketch
See Bands/Page 6
L