’Twas two months
before Christmas
Bush: leave Noriega alone
George Bush has worked
himself into the same hole that has al
ready buried a couple of recent presi
dents. It’s the situation Americans hate
most - when we go interfere in some
other country’s business, but we don’t
interfere enough to win, which is the
worst of both worlds. It happened with
Lyndon Johnson (Vietnam) and Jimmy
Carter (Iran) both. Give Ronald Rea
gan credit, at least he was smart
enough to pick on a country we could
handle - Grenada (pop. 86,000, smaller
than Cleveland); We sent in 7,000 sol
diers backed by ships, planes, tanks
and missiles and finally beat somebody
in a fair fight.
So now Bush is getting grief from all
the mad-dog right-wingers who think
we should have unleashed Chiang Kai-
shek and Ollie North both against Gen.
Noriega, which is what you would ex
pect from the likes of Jesse Helms. And
a few oppoTtUThist Democrats have
joined the chorus, looking like the hyp
ocrites they are, but at least most have
the grace to either stay silent or to crit
icize Bush from an isolationist point of
view.
Let me take a bold moral stance here
and come right out against the assassi
nation of foreign leaders. I know, I
know, it takes monumental courage to
go against conventional wisdom in this
alarming fashion, but let me make my
case.
Reason Numero Uno not to assassi
nate your foreign leader, no matter
how repellent he or she may be: IT’S
WRONG. Call me quaint, call me old-
fashioned, but folks, it is wrong. The
United States of America has no God-
given right to run around offing the
leaders of other countries: Our gov
ernment is in the hands of people who
can’t run HUD and the Pentagon hon
estly. What right do they have to decide
whether some fellow in another coun
try lives or dies? None.
I don’t pay taxes so some collection
of self-deluding fanatics at the CIA or
the NSA, who don’t have to answer to
the people who are paying their sala
ries, can get together and decide if
some guy in another country should
die. I’ve read the Constitution. Right
there in the preamble it states the pur
poses for which the United States of
America is ordained and established:
to form a more perfect Union, estab
lish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquil
ity, provide for the common defense,
promote the general Welfare, and se
cure the Blessings of Liberty to our
selves and our Posterity. It nowhere
adds “and to kill any foreign leaders we
don’t like.”
People always make such dumb ar
guments about this, like, “What about
Hitler? Think how much better off the
world would have been if somebody
had assassinated Hitler?” You don’t
know that: No one does. That’s the
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Scot Walker, Editor
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Juliette Rizzo, Opinion Page Editor
Fiona Soltes, City Editor
Ellen Hobbs, Chuck Squatriglia,
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Dean Sueltenfuss, Lifestyles Editor
trouble with trying to play God when
you’re not in charge of the script. Hit
ler believed in astrology and made a lot
of stupid decisions, frequently ignored
the advice of his general staff, got him
self into a two-front war and generally
was a substatnial help in doing in the
Third Reich. Suppose Hitler had been
assassinated and some perfectly ratio
nal organizational genius, say Albert
Speer, had taken over in Hitler’s stead
and hadjrun th.£. whole operation in a
saner, more effective way? No one can
guarantee that wouldn’t have been the
result. One of the great rules of history
is: things can always get worse.
The Soviet Union has just endorsed
a plan to give the World Court a
stronger role in the arbitration of long
standing international disputes. That’s
the right direction, that’s the sane di
rection, that’s the way to build a system
of security based on political and legal
guarantees that will actually work in
the world. I don’t know how you feel
about losing moral leadership to the
Soviet Union — they take the high
road, we take the low road — but I
think it’s like lemon in the eye and
none of us ever voted for anyone who
said he was going to do that.
Our track record in this area
strongly suggests rule Numero Two
for not assassinating your foreign
leader: IT’S DUMB. Recall the cheery
occasion on which we cooperated in the
assassination of Ngo Dinh Diem of
South Vietnam, a thoroughly corrupt
and despicable little ally of ours, on the
theory that whoever replaced him was
bound to be better. He had several re
placements in the ensuing years, none
of them better. Pinochet was not an im
provement on Allende, the military
junta was not an improvement on Jo-
cobo Arbenz, etc., etc., etc. Supporting
Pol Pot of Caombodia is not going to
turn out to be a great idea either, is it?
A further wrinkle in the IT’S DUMB
rule is that those who assassinate others
are apt to be assassinated themselves:
Perhaps it will never be known for cer
tain who killed John F. Kennedy and
why, but of the many scenarios ad
vanced for that assassination, the one
that claims Castro had it done in retal
iation for all the times Kennedy tried to
have Castro assassinated makes as
much sense as any other. (I still lean to
ward the pedestrian premise that Lee
Harvey Oswald killed Kennedy to get
fC
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Juliette
■Rizzo
Opinion Page Editor
attention.)
One might, if one were of an opti
mistic disposition, think the Bush Ad
ministration and the CIA would be es
pecially wary about getting involved in
the offing of Gen. Noriega — he was
for many years the CIA’s man; in fact,
Noriega was on Bush’s payroll when
Bush headed the CIA. Don’t you think
we should have some sense of shame
about our own role in having helped
foist this nasty piece of work on the
people of Panama? Haven’t we done
enough harm to this tiny country al
ready by putting our big feet in where
no one asked?
What reason do we have to assume
that the folks behind the latest coup
would have been better than Noriega?
What were they? Ambitious military of
ficers who thought they weren’t getting
a large enough cut of the drug money?
And the final part of the IT’S
DUMB reason not to kill Noriega is
that, in case you haven’t noticed, we
have a truly humongous image prob
lem with our neighbors to the South:
For some reason (the historical record
comes to mind) they think we interfere
in their business all the time and they
resent the hell out of it. They like hav
ing us step in just about as much as we
would appreciate having Roberto
D’Aubuisson come tell us who to vote
for here. And every time we do it, we
increase that resentment and create
opportunities there for our enemies.
And, amazing to report, our niegh-
bors to the South actually do quite well
without our interference: Remember
the peace conference of the five Cen
tral American presidents in Honduras
last summer that decided to disband
the contras, the American-made army
of mercenary “freedom fighters” Oli
ver North doted on? They got secure
borders and free elecions in Nicaragua
quite nicely on their own, didn’t they?
When the Panamanians get good and
sick of the nasty little dictator we have
helped foist on them, they’ll get rid of
him on their own, thanks. And if they
ask us for help, we should probably
help. But it’s not our place to lurk
about helping to plot coups and assassi
nations.
“It’s beginning
to look a lot
like... ”
N OOOOO!
’Tis not the sea
son to be jolly —
at least not yet.
But don’t try to
tell all the major
marketers this,
because they
think Christmas
starts in August.
It all started right
about the time
Juliette bought a new bikini at the “end
of summer sale of the century.” The bi
kinis are on the aisle right next to the
inflatable reindeers and fire-resistant
Christmas trees. Why has Christmas be
come so commercialized?
It’s all Santa’s fault. You know him
— the fat jolly guy with the belly and
the beard? He got all those little kiddies
excited about presents, and the idea
just took off. So here we are sweating
bullets (literally — it’s October) about
buying presents for everyone, charging
to the limit, and ending up feeling de
pressed before Christmas even starts!
Take a trip to the nearest shopping
mall, and see for yourself. All that’s
missing is Santa and his eight tiny re
indeer. Excuse us, aren’t there still 67
shopping days left until dad and
grandma ferociously rip the ornate
wrapping off of their presents that
they will return anyway? By the way,
save your receipts.
Sixty-seven days seems like a lifetime
to us. But then again, if you calculate
all of the time it takes to roast chest
nuts, buy wrapping paper and ribbons,
send Christmas cards, put lights on the
outside of the house, decorate the
dorm room, take down the decorations
in the dorm room, pick up the McDon-
aldland gift certificates for the mail
man, chop down the Christmas tree,
take last year’s Christmas tree to the
dumpster, schedule time around
school to watch the Grinch, Rudolph,
Frosty, Charlie Brown and, our per
sonal favorite, Scrooge — it may take
67 days.
And what about the holiday grub? It
isn’t even close to Thanksgiving yet,
and there are turkeys EVERYWHERE.
The supermarket looks like a turkey
farm. So the next time you take a trip
to the store, grab some cranberrries
Damon
Arhos
Columnist
and some Stove-
top before sup
plies run out. Ain!
for those of you
who haven’t for
gotten Halloween
don’t forget cand,
for the trick-or-
treaters.
Even music hai
found its place in
all t h i s pre
Christmas hype
Saunter into ik
nearest record
store and you will find the latest holi
day tunes by no other than New Kids
on the Block and even Perry Como. Be
the first on your block or in your dorm
to own one of these priceless goodies
They make nice stocking stufferstoo!
And it won’t be too long before allo[
the beautiful scotch pines arrive. End
less forests of trees will be at your fin
gertips. Tall ones, short ones, fat ones
skinny ones — all bound for your near
est Christmas tree dealer. Andtheyal
ways arrive AT LEAST one montl
early, so by the time Christmas comes
your tree ends up looking like Charlie
Brown’s, with the tip dragging on the
floor and pine needles all over the car
pet and the cat.
After serious thought (and bargair,
shopping) we’ve come to the stunningl
realization that Christmas is being EX
PLOITED. All of the materialistkl
Scrooges out there are taking away!
from the true spirit of the holidar j
How appropriate the colors are —red!
for love, green for money. We needtlitj
abominable snowman to come eatallofl
those materialistic marketers. Whereii
Rudolph when you need him?
Christmas is a special holiday worttil
waiting for. So lets put all of thetretil
and ornaments and Santas and ref
indeer and whining children out of our
minds for now. Their time will come.f
Let’s get through Halloween first.
Halloween? Do they sell Scroogeo
Santa suits?
Juliette Rizzo and Damon Arhoss 1 ]
senior journalism majors and co/umn f
ists for The Battalion
Mail Call
Puerto Ricans say thanks
EDITOR:
The Puerto Rican Student Association would like to thank Texas A&M
students, faculty and staff for their cooperation and support with the Hurricane
Hugo Relief Fund in September. We greatly appreciate their attention tosuchan
important event.
Because of their efforts and donations, the Puerto Rican Student Associadon
was able to raise $>2,500 for the people of Puerto Rico. Please accept our sinceresi
gratitude and thanks.
Lisa Perez
President, PRSA
Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the nghltett
letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must besigtuh
must include the classification, address and telephone number of the writer.
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