The Battalion
OPINION
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Tuesday, July 25,1989
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Student proposes alternative tree plan
The Rudder Oak. Let’s see. It’s really
located outside the Memorial Student
Center, not next to Rudder Tower. So,
why do they call it the Rudder Oak? Oh,
OK it’s named after General Earl Rud
der who kept it from being cut down
when the MSC was originally built. He
did this because the tree is over 100
years old.
Well, what’s the big deal? It’s only a
tree, and it’s in the way of the expand
ing the MSC. As far as I can tell, trees
have been coming down for buildings
since buildings started going up. In fact,
some buildings that go up are made
from the same trees that come down. So
why not cut this one down, too.
helmet and put him in charge. The oth
ers will also have helmets of differing
colors that determine some sort of a
rank. This ranking is actually based on
the length of their underwear. I’m not
sure if the one wearing long underwear
is the highest in rank or the lowest.
The red-helmet gives the important
command “CUT IT DOWN,” in a voice
just this side of puberty, and the rest of
the youngsters would have to go to work
cutting down Rudder Oak.
After all. Aggies have been cutting
down trees for years. It is a tradition in
Aggieland. To prepare for Bonfire, a
bunch of short-haired, late-aged teen
agers, with their underwear hanging
out of their shorts, could gather around
the tree. They wear their underwear
hanging outside of their shorts because
this is, after all, the ’80s and their moth
ers have been working since the early
’70s and haven’t quite gotten around to
teaching their sons how to dress.
The end result would be one fallen
old tree, a dislocated finger, a burned-
out Ford Mustang and a crushed truck.
Please don’t ask me to explain, it always
ends up like this.
In order to sanctify this cutting, we
will use this tree in an Aggie honor that
only a few trees have the honor of being
— the center pole!
Anyway, back to the tree at hand.
First, get these short-haired young men
around the tree. Give one of them a red
I’m not sure why we have this tradi
tion every year. But what the heck, it’s
tradition, so let us not question it.
Besides, using the tree for center pole
will save a lot of money. Close to
$35,000 would be saved if we use the
Rudder Oak for center pole. This is the
cost of trying to move the tree, and
there is no guarantee that it will survive
I realize not everybody is going to be
entirely happy with my proposal for the
Rudder Oak. Rudder may not be too
happy about the whole thing, either.
So let’s take the $35,000 and buy
bunch of smaller trees and plant them
in an empty field somewhere. This
shouldn’t be too hard to do, after all
A&M has plenty of land. The closest es
timate on live oaks is $16 a piece. For
that $35,000 we can get 2,1871/2 trees.
Now the real work comes in hand. To
plant them, we get Alpha Phi Omega,
the service fraternity, to help plant
them. Just between you and me, these
guys love doing hard, monotonous la
bor for next to nothing. (Trust me, I did
it for a year and a half!)
The end result will be small four foot
forest that we can call the Rudder For
est. A happy ending that I think even
Rudder would be happy with.
As with all columns, opinions e.
pressed by Guest Columnists are not
necessarily those of The Battalion. Per
sons interested in submitting guest col
umns should contact the Opinion Page
Editor at 845-3314.
Rose doesn’t make much sense
News item: An investigation into Cin
cinnati Reds Manager Pete Rose’s gam
bling habits alleged he made bets on the
Atlanta Braves.
Could this conversation have ever
taken place?
“I want a dollar (a thousand) on the
Braves tonight,” Pete Rose said to his
bookie.
“Peter,” he began, “nobody bets on
the Atlanta Braves. Wouldn’t you like to
rethink all this?”
“Who’s the future Hall-of-Famer
here, me or you?” asked Rose. “I want a
dollar on the Braves.”
“Pete, Pete, Pete,” said the bookie,
“They have no hitting, they have no
pitching, they have no fielding, they’re
slow and their bat boy is into science
projects in school. Why don’t you con
sider the Mets against the Dodgers to
night instead?”
“Whose money is this,” asked Rose,
“mine or yours?”
“Soon to be mine if you stay with the
Braves,” said the bookie, who contin
ued, “The Braves are the same team
who traded Steve Bedrosian to the Phil
lies for Ozzie Virgil.
Lewis
Grizzard
Syndicated Columnist
“Bedrosian promptly won the Cy
Young award as the league’s best
pitcher and Virgil promptly went into a
coma.
“Haven’t
to baseball?’
you
been
paying attention
“But I like the Braves uniforms,’
Rose.
said
“Uniforms? You’d bet on a team be
cause of its uniforms?” asked the
startled bookie.
“Look,” said Rose, “I just like to gam
ble, and it doesn’t matter whether or not
I win. I just like the action.”
“Who knows that any better than
me,” said the bookie. “But betting on
the Atlanta Braves isn’t gambling. It’s
gambling only when you have a chance
to win. This is a team that couldn’t win,
so the front office fired the team mas
cot. And you still want to bet on them?”
“OK,” said Rose, “then give me a dol
lar on Jimmy Carter returning to the
White House.”
“Now,” said Rose’s bookie, “you’re
making some sense.”
Copyright 1989, Cowles Syndicate
Mail Call
Editors note: The following is an open letter to the Board of Regents that was ak
mitted to The Battalion.
Students propose project relocation
EDITOR:
It is with profound regret and deep sadness that we have learned of plans:
expand the Memorial Student Center into the mall area on the northeast side:
the building. We wish to express our alarm at the proposal to relocate and/or
destroy the 26 trees in the area, as well as the destruction of the one area on
campus that we all daily identify with Texas A&M.
Surely, there must be a better solution. We recognize the need for morerd
for the use of student programs and other programs, but should the aesthetit
quality of our compus suffer? We think not. Therefore, we propose the location
the project be changed to the vacant lot immediately south of Cain Hall. Web*,
this location for the following reasons:
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• The Cain Hall South site is a rather unattractive, muddy, vacant lot with:
trees to disturb.
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• The Cain Hall South site is in close proximity to the Memorial Student
Center, and could be, in fact, connected by a pedestrian bridge (as in ihepropo, B |
expansion).
• The location does not involve the wholesale destruction of one of then® » 1C
frequented and beloved campus areas. BF '
• The Cain Hall South site is more convenient to parking areas. Hst
• There would be a minimum of disruption of campus activity, for theonh V( .
observed uses of this site in recent years have been by drill team camps, fly-fist j eN
and bait-casting classes, and pre-football game barbecues.
• If further expansion were necessary, additional floors could be added
without detrimental effects to the aesthetics of surrounding
buildings (i.e. Rudder Tower).
• Campus growth in recent years has been focused to the west, so the Cain
Hall South site would be a logical and natural step in this direction.
• The Cain Hall South site would avoid making the MSC grounds look like:]
concrete, sterile environment that is found today between the Halboutyand
Blocker buildings.
• The grass we all respect and love so dearly will be spared, as will the
honoring of a tradition and the memories of those who gave their lives in sera: r
our country (Memorial Student Center). 4 H
As you can clearly see, the Cain Hall South site offers an attractive altemati! p
to the mall area location. I am sure you will find that most students wouldagra
This brings us to another point concerning the remarks made by Gen. Wot r
F. Peel, Vice Chancellor for Facilities Planning and Construction. Gen. PeeltoU *
The Battalion that the people who opposed the expansion didn’t care aboulAS®^
or its students. We are deeply offended and concerned by Gen. Peel’s statemenii a
for we represent a cross-section of the student body of Texas A&M. Below areDf i,
signatures of members of the Corps of Cadets, fraternities, sororities and non- a
regs, as well as faculty and staff. We fervently care about Texas A&M and its j::
traditions, and certainly we care about the appearance of our beloved Texas Am 01 '
for both today’s students and for future generations.
Todd A. Greenberg ’88
accompanied by 64 signatures
Solution needed for parking sticker problem
EDITOR:
Well, it’s that time of year again — parking sticker time. It upsets mejustas
much this year as it has the last two years.
I am supposed to come up with an extra $ 100 just to be able to park in order
work at my job.
I am divorced, mother of two, and sole support of my family. This is the tint
of year I am looking at outfitting two kids for school — not to mention school
supplies. Just as I think I have taken care of, the kids are attending their firstda; i he
of school —then I realize that the outpouring of money has just started — mon
school supplies are needed, gym clothes, pictures, insurance, etc. — it’s endle:
The thing that bothers me the most about the parking sticker, is that we w
make $5 plus per hour are expected to come up with the $ 100 just the sameasi!
faculty and staff that make $50,000 and more. To some on the A&M campustfc
just an aggravation and nuisance. To others of us, however, it makes the
difference of having food on the table or not. It creates a real hardship, it means
doing without necessities, not luxuries.
To add to the confusion and stress of this time of year, it’s the time of yearo:® °*
paychecks are mixed up due to the fiscal year ending.
I guess what I do not understand is why parking stickers are not figuredom
sliding scale basis — it seems to me at least, that would provide some aspect of
fairness. At the very least, why not deduct the price of the parking sticker montW
from our paychecks?
There has to be a pratical and fair solution to this problem?
Debbie L. Butter worth
Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters fits
and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and must incldi'
classification, address and telephone number of the writer.
“Argentina had great uniforms when
it fought the British in the Falkland Is
lands war and it didn’t do them any
good.
“Look,” said Rose, “you want to take
my money or not?”
“Sure, I want to take your money,”
said the bookie, “but I know better ways
for you to throw it away. Why don’t you
flush it down the toilet? You’ll see it a lot
longer than you will if you bet on the
Braves.
The Battalion
(USPS 045 360)
Member of
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Southwest Journalism Conference
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Ellen Hobbs,
Editor
Juliette Rizzo,
Opinion Page Editor
Fiona Soltes,
City Editor
Drew Leder, Chuck Squatriglia,
News Editors
Steven Merritt,
Sports Editor
Katny Haveman,
Art Director
Hal Hammons,
Makeup Editor
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