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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (April 14, 1989)
The Battalion OPINION Friday, April 14,1989 The Battalior ST Friday, Apri Who are the most interesting people at Texas A&M? Lists, lists, lists. Everywhere you look there are lists on everything that ever could be ranked: the ugliest women, the prettiest dogs, the richest men and on and on and on. If you ever read People magazine, you know it always has a list of some thing going on. One of the best lists is made up of the 10 most interesting peo ple (something like that — I don’t read the magazine that often). So now I would like to submit my list of the 10 most interesting people at Texas A&M for the 1988-1989 school year. Jr <*** 0m* T»| jB 1 Becky Weisenfels Editor for our research. These scientists dupli cated parts of experiments that support earlier claims made by Utah sdentists who said they achieved nuclear fusion in a jar. It is research such as this that brings A&M the notoriety it deserves. 6. Student Senate. Again, not a per son, but this is still my column. And here he is: Mr. Fashion ORLANDO, Fla. — My interest and expertise in the area of men’s fashion are well documented. I, for instance, predicted the coming of the leisure suit back in the late ’60s. What led me to such a projection was the sudden fall off in the puchase of Nehru jackets, not to mention the fact a group of geologists digging in the mountains of West Virginia discovered the world’s richest vein of polyester. I also forecast the fall of the leisure suit. This was after four conventioneers perished in their Las Vegas hotel when one dropped a cigar ash on the pants of his leisure suit. He was engulfed in flames in a matter seconds. His three companions suc cumbed to the dense acrid fumes from their friend’s lime-green leisure suit. I am temporarily stationed in sunny Florida covering warm weather for the rest of the country, where it is cold and dismal. While hanging out at the pool at my hotel, working on my tan, I noticed other male visitors were suffering from various levels of warm-weather fashion impairment. Women, of course, have the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue to guide them as to what to wear once sprinbg and summer finally arrive. Men have nothing to guide them. And it shows. Lewis Grizzard Columnist Fortunately, I am also an expert on menswear at the beach, around the pool and in the hotel lobby. What many men here do wrong is wear socks that are the same color as their shorts. This is tacky. This in unfor givable. A man who wears socks the same color as his shorts is a bowler or builds cabinets in his basement or contributes to television evangelists. To be absolutely correct, a man should wear no socks whatsoever with a pair of shorts. If a man insists on wear ing socks with his shorts, he should at least stick to white. One other thing a man should con sider is never to be guilty of New Jer- seyitis. Men suffering from this condi tion wear sandals with their shorts, not to mention over-the-calf, black stretch hose. Jesus wore sandals, it is true. But he didn’t wear those awful socks with them, and that’s why New Jersey — especially Newark — turned out the way it did. Here are some other don’ts in the area of men’s leisure fashion: • Don’t wear a tank top. If you must wear a tank top, at least make certain you have a tattoo to go with it so people will think you’ve been out to sea since the mid-’60s and don’t know any better. • Don’t Wear anything that features a picture of a pelican, a pink flamingo or a beer can. • Don’t wear one of those skimpy European men’s bathing suits. If you do, you’ll embarrass God, who didn’t have skimpy European bathing suits in mind when he created man. • More on socks. Don’t wear tube socks with your shorts or swimsuit. This ain’t the Moose Club annual picnic and softball game. • Don’t wear clip-on sunglasses. If you do, it suggests you arrived by bus and < nee wore leisure suits until the sur geon general declared them harmful to your health. • Don’t wear white shoes with a matching white belt. That went out with Wildroot Cream Oil for your hair. • Don’t wear a silly hat. If commu nists went to the beach, they’d wear silly hats. As for me, I’m off to the pool again in my Ralph Lauren swimsuit ($575), my Calvin Klein terry cloth robe ($1,500), my Gucci leather pool slippers ($2,750) and my Bill Blass designer sunglasses ($14,000). I take no fashion risks. Why should you? Copyright 1989, Cowles Syndicate Mail Call No choice involved EDITOR: I am writing in response to Matthew Kirk’s letter which appeared in The Battalion on April 10. Mr. Kirk, it is apparent you believe in the need for a Corps center. If you believe in the center, then you should have every right to point out the advantages and rewards the center would offer. However, you stepped over the line in your closing remark: “Lastly, if the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, why do we have handicapped facilities on campus?” Every handicapped person I know did not choose to be handicapped. The facilities which are provided for them do cause those with physical disabilities to be considered special. However, I do not know one who would not prefer to be physically capable.I am not speaking out of turn, because I have a brother who is handicapped. So, Mr. Kirk, in the future, perhaps you should keep your remarks in line with the subjects you know best. Also, stop and consider how you would feel if tomorrow you were to be stricken with a handicap. Carman Reed ’90 Corps gets too much attention EDITOR: I am writing in regard to J. Frank Hernandez’s article in the April 10 issue of The Battalion. I agree wholeheartedly with what Mr. Hernandez said. The Corps gets too much special attention and too many privileges. As Mr. Hernandez wrote, “I am a student just as they are students, so give me the respect a student deserves.” I am not saying that I am against the Corps of Cadets or its members. I do respect them — especially the female members. I am just tired of the Corps being placed on such a high “pedestal.” Thank you, Mr. Hernandez, for finally having the courage to speak out about this issue. I am sure that the students, like you and I, will be criticized for our opinion; however, it is time that this complaint was brought forth. Vanessa Stewart ’90 Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and must include the classification, address and telephone number of the writer. 1. Jackie Sherrill. Now how did you know that was going to be the First name on my list? Answer: Because most of the media attention surrounding Texas A&M last semester was focused on this one man. It started with an NCAA in vestigation and ended with a former football player who couldn’t decide if Sherrill paid him hush money or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole inci dent showed up as a made-for-TV movie next semester. I may never name a child after Sher rill or hang up a picture of him in my house, but I still think he’s an interest ing guy. 2. R.C. Slocum. The man who re placed the myth (thank goodness). Once again it seems like some semblance of calm has returned to the A&M football team that will allow the new coach to rebuild the program in peace. It won’t be all smooth sailing: Aggies have set some high expectations for Slocum, and he is following King Sherrill, who took us to three Cotton Bowls. But Slocum seems up to the task of not only rebuild ing a championship team, but doing it with integrity. 3. President Mobley. Mobley came into office to Find that someone left him a pretty big mess to clean up. He did ad mirably. If it weren’t for his working with the NCAA in football investiga tions, A&M probably would have been penalized more than it was. Working to buy out Sherrill’s contract couldn’t have been easy: Many Aggies thought Sher rill was the best thing since bubble gum, and there were stories of power stuggles with the Board of Regents. But in the end, Mobley’s actions showed that he re alized the University’s well-being and standing could not be sacriFiced for a football coach. 4. RHA. Not a person, true. How ever, this is my column and I can change the rules if I want to. The Residence Housing Association did a lot of things this year that were steps in the right direction for A&M. Note that co-ed dorms 'will be here in the fall and that an honors residence hall is being set up. Also, the group had to work to make on-campus living bea rable while everything except the Em pire State Building was being built near the dorms. A little recognition is due. 5. Scientists at A&M who worked on the fusion experiment. You know who I am talking about — their efforts have focused the nation’s attention on A&M The Student Senate may sometimes pass bills that we think are silly, but then so does the U.S. Congress. However, this year Student Senate members worked hard to compromise with fac ulty and come up with a Finals schedule that allowed for both dead days and di plomas in tubes. The Senate is working to get certain questions put on teacher evaluation forms, and to get the results of those questions printed in course catalogues. That way, you know the teacher’s qual ifications based on other students’ eval uations. A fair proposal, since you wouldn’t hire anyone else without knowing their qualiFicationsand you are hiring that teacher to educate you. The Senate is working on other bills for the students’ interest, and we owe them some thanks. 7. The Alabama football team. If you blinked, you missed them. They were supposed to be here on Sept. 16, but the wind was just blowing too darn hard. So we had to reschedule the game, and so was born the Hurricane Bowl — the only Bowl game A&M went to, by the way. We lost the game, but gosh, wasn't it fun. 8. Reveille IV. The only dogtohavea nicer funeral than John F. Kennedy Don’t get me wrong — it was nice to have a little service for Rev IV, bull think we kind of went too far. Passing motorists who didn’t know what was going on probably thought it was a serv ice for a diplomat or something. But hey, nowhere but at A&M can you get thousands of people to attend a dog’s funeral. 9. Harry Louis Horak. The guy with the guns — remember him? As one of my professors so aptly put it, he’s the guy who taught the world that if you’re going to sneak up on your girlfriend, make sure she’s not in the military. 10. I don’t remember the name of this last person, but she was the student who got her car stuck next to the rail road tracks. But, to add interest, she hadn’t moved her stuff into her new home, so all of her belongings were still in the trunk of the car. A train hit her car. I thought that was interesting. I’m sure there were other interesting people and groups this year, but I only have room for 10 — and it’s still my col umn. Becky Weisenfels is a senior joum- lism major and editor of The Battalion. The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Becky Weisenfels, Editor Leslie Guy, Managing Editor Dean Sueltenfuss, Opinion Page Editor Anthony Wilson, City Editor Scot Walker, Wire Editor Drew Leder, News Editor Doug Walker, Sports Editor Jay Janner, Art Director Mary-Lynne Rice, Entertainment Edi- tor Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspa per operated as a community service to Texas A&M and Bryan-College Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily rep resent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, fac ulty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography classes within the Department of Journalism. The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas A&M regular semesters, except for holiday and examination periods. Mail subscriptions are $17.44 per semester, $34.62 per school year and $36.44 per full year. Advertising rates furnished on request. Our address: The Battalion, 230 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843-1 111. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Battal ion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M University, Col- lege Station TX 77843-4 111. BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed . ves, m smi suee we pont NBBP U56L mumce ...WHY? Pra bla< Nation By Denise Th< STAFF WRITER Due to a ru black students re inantly black un tional funding f ment program Prairie View A creasing. While overall 5,640 at Prairie enrollment of 1 4,687, or 83 pe comes after a sh rollment droppe Since that tii ment and speci ment at Prairie \ upward swing, president of stui he View, said. The Texas A. tem recently a from the Availal (AUF) to help Pi its precollege si programs. Wrig Hous WASHINGTC position as the elected Democ House Speaker Ji an emotional < against serious i declared he won ounce of convicti [possess.” In a 30-minui delivered to rept: cameras, Wrigh point by point lodged against 1 ethics committee its final report $1.5 million inv< nances. T o