The Battalion
Opinion
Tuesday, April 4,1989
mirror, mirror,
ON THE WALL,
WHO'S THE FAIREST
OF THEM ALL?
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/W/O-SfiEMZ
BfWN,7BCt5
HEADLINE: PARTY OFFICIALS TAKE A PASTING
IN FIRST CONTESTED SOVIET ELECTIONS.
A lesson in public
etiquette
When people are alone in the privacy
of their own homes, bedrooms, and
bathrooms, they often do things they
wouldn’t ever do in public.
However, some people are under the
impression that the same kind of pri
vacy is afforded in the cab of their car. I
really hate to burst their proverbial bub
ble, but we know what you’re doing in
therel
When I see people like this, my first
inclination is to honk and yell:
“Are you aware they make Kleenex to
take care of that problem?” But I don’t.
I think the reason they behave this
way is because they secretly always
wanted to do something socially unac
ceptable in a public place — but they’re
chicken.
So they compromise by doing some
thing socially unacceptable in their cars,
where they feel somewhat sheltered.
There are other people whose “auto
mobile etiquette” does not necessarily
include socially unacceptable behavior,
but they frequently embarrass them
selves anyway. This is the category to
which I sometimes belong. On more
than one occasion I’ve had friends say:
“I saw you driving to class the other
day. Do you always sing in the car?”
I try not to get embarrassed about it.
After all, I’m not the first person to sing
along with the radio. But sometimes I
get a little overzealous. If it’s a really
good song, I may accompany my vocals
with an instrumental, usually an air gui
tar or drums. That’s why when someone
says they’ve seen me in my car some-
Stephanie
Stribling
Columnist
where, I generally request the date,
time, and location of the sighting, just to
be sure I wasn’t in the middle of my
Joan Jett imitation.
Other people do embarassing things
in their cars. Some people are on-the-
road-eaters — people who end up wear
ing more of their lunch than they ingest.
They are the ones always finding ket
chup in mysterious places in their car.
Women who make a hit-or-miss ef
fort to apply makeup using their rear
view mirror often embarrass themselves
in their car. These are the ones who try
my patience. I refuse to be run off the
road because some woman forgot to use
lip-liner before she left home. Unfortu
nately this phenomenon occurs with in
creasing frequency because cosmetics no
longer belong exclusively in the femi
nine domain.
Another way people embarrass them
selves is by blasting their car stereo at
stoplights. This may not seem like an
obvious embarrassment on the surface,
but it is. It’s a boast — not a very success
ful one I might add. When they crank
up the stereo to 300 decibels, they’re
making a potent statement to those
around them:
“Not only can I afford a speaker sys
tem that would hairlip the pope, my
music is cool too.”
Well, I’m certainly impressed.
My favorite embarrassing “automo
bile etiquette” is “teeth checking.” The
people who do this use their rear-view-
mirrors to make sure they’re not carry
ing what’s left of lunch on their front
grill.
Now, there may be some of you out
there saying:
“I do those things in my car, but I’m
not embarrassed.”
I know, and your daddy is Clint
Eastwood.
It takes an exceptional person to ig
nore being laughed at. And people will
most assuredly laugh. It’s like Candid
Camera — the laughter is inescapable.
People laugh because they’re relieved
it’s not happening to them.
I go to great lengths to avoid being
laughed at. Idling at a stoplight, I am
painfully aware of my behavior. I don’t
eat, I don’t put on makeup, and I turn
down the radio. I even manage to re
strain my singing. Heaven forbid some
one should think I was talking to myself.
I have even perfected the singing-
through-your-teeth-without-moving-yo-
ur-lips method when I feel the over
whelming urge to burst out in song.
I don’t recommend this for everyone.
If it doesn’t bother you that people are
laughing at you, by all means keep it up.
The rest of us could use the laugh.
Stephanie Stribling is a senior jour
nalism major and a columnist for The
Battalion.
i Mail Call
New words getting out of hand
EDITOR:
Stephanie Stribling’s column of March 28 struck a well-deserved blow at
the maddening proliferation of new words in the English language.
In her article, however, she described the term “pro-life” as a nice-
sounding substitute for “the philosophy subscribed to by individuals who
harass and degrade pregnant women.”
I suggest that the term “pro-choice” provides a more outrageous example
of a misleading modern-day euphemism. An appropriate description of this
term would be “the attitude that individuals have the right to terminate the
life of (i.e. kill) an unborn child when the existence of such a child is deemed
inconvenient or otherwise undesirable.”
In common usage today, the term encompasses belief in the right of
individuals to terminate a pregnancy well into the final trimester and the
implied right to abortion on demand (for any reason).
The word “pro-choice” was obviously coined as a substitute for the
messier, though more accurate and descriptive, phrase “pro-abortion.” True,
“pro-choice” sounds much nicer, but changing the word does not change the
reality of what takes place within the cold, sterile walls of an abortion clinic.
I agree with Ms. Stribling that the invention of nice-sounding, but often
misleading, new words is getting out of hand. Perhaps we ought to reverse
the trend by eliminating euphemisms like “pro-choice” from our vocabula
ries.
Michael Merchant
Graduate Student
Corps Center not fair
EDITOR:
This is in response to the lead article in Tuesday’s Battalion. The article
mentions the Corps of Cadets Center site approval in Spence Park.
This center is going to cost $2 million and is going to take away yet some
more of our precious green space. The article fails to mention either the
source of funding for this center or its function. If the center is to be paid for
out of the University’s general fund, building fund, or with Permanent
University Fund money, I would like to know where the approximately $34
million “Non-reg Center” is to be built. (For that is what a proportionally
funded building for non-regs would cost; approx $1,000 per student.) If, as I
hope is the case, the center is funded out of private funds, aren’t there better
things on which our former students could spend $2 million.
Before everybody gets too upset with me, I want you all to realize that I
am not anti-Corps, in fact, I think that the Corps is vital to maintaining the
A&M that we all know, both good and bad. It just seems to me and many
others that the cadets get partial treatment in almost every aspects of life at
our school. Call me what you will, but it seems that “the needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few.” But that seems to get overlooked when the
few wear uniforms.
John Monroe ’90
Boycott Exxon
EDITOR:
Exxon has demonstrated a great deal of irresponsiblity in dealing with
the Alaskan oil spill. Their negligence has severely damaged the environment
and has crippled U.S. fishing industries. Hopef ully, it will hurt Exxon, too.
The oil has spread over 600 miles across one of the nation’s most
productive fishing regions. It is a major threat to all marine wildlife including
whales, dolphins and birds. The oil is washing up onto beaches and has been
blown into the tops of trees. Cleanup procedures have been slow and
ineffective, and the oil is continuing to spread.
Every couple of years, someone dumps oil into the ocean, destroying the
ecosystem, killing wildlife and destroying industries. This is the biggest in
U.S. history. Something needs to be done to prevent future assaults on the
environment.
One thing we can do is write Congress about legislation regarding oil
transportation and accidents. There needs to be a detailed plan of action to
control the spread of such a spill. There were not enough trained personnel
to respond to the situation, and there were no barges or booms to contain the
slick. The ship was not double-hulled. Also, Exxon needs to hire responsible
captains and allow only skilled navigators to drive the ship.
I would like to suggest boycotting Exxon gas and products. A local
boycott may seem ineffective, but it may spark a communitywide or even
statewide awareness. More than hurting them financially, a boycott would
effect Exxon’s public image. Perhaps this would help prevent future disas
ters.
Sean Bush ’92
Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters
for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and
must include the classification, address and telephone number of the writer.
Women can play golf, too
just not at this club
SOMEWHERE IN SOUTH FLOR
IDA — There is this place. I can’t tell
you the name of it or exactly where it is,
but there is this place in South Florida
where they have figured out the prob
lem of women on the golf course.
I don’t have any problem with women
playing a litlle golf occasionally, but I al
ways have thought it would be better if
women had their golf courses and men
had theirs.
Before I catch the wrath of the fe
male golfing populace, allow me to say
upfront there are women who are much
better golfers than I am.
Lewis
Grizzard
Columnist
But about this place. The reason I’m
not going to put a name or location on it
is that some flared-nostril feminist
might read this and decide to file suit
and I might never be invited back as a
guest.
Quite obviously, the place is a golf
club. But not only are women forbidden
from playing the course — under any
circumstances whatsoever — they aren’t
even allowed on the grounds except
once a year.
For the annual Christmas party.
Phone calls from women are even dis
couraged.
“And you can play gin rummy na
ked,” a member explained to me.
I’m not certain I’d want to play gin
rummy naked, but I saw the member’s
point.
There aren’t any women within miles
of the club, so you’re safe to belch or
curse or make funny noises with your
armpit or, if you so desire, play gin
rummy naked.
“When will men ever grow up and get
over things such as this?” flared-nostril
women readers perhaps are saying.
Most of us never will because of the
Treehouse Syndrome. When men are
boys, they build treehouses, or other as
sorted edifices, in order to have a secret
place to go with their friends where
there aren’t any girls to tell them how
stupid they are.
We need this getaway all our lives in
order to gather our wits and share the
goodness that is brotherhood.
And play gin rummy naked if we
want to.
Men have given up so much of what
was once their exclusive space as it is.
And some of it we needed to share. Like
boardrooms and mastheads and offices
on the top floors.
But at this club, at least, men have
drawn the line at golf.
“What I like most about this dub,"
said a friend who was also a guest, “is
there aren’t even any ladies’ tees. You
can hit from all the way up front and
not feel like a wimp.”
Indeed.
Copyright 1989, Cowles Syndicate
The Battalion
(USPS 045 360)
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
The Battalion Editorial Board
Becky Weisenfels, Editor
Leslie Guy, Managing Editor
Dean Sueltenfuss, Opinion Page Editor
Anthony Wilson, City Editor
Scot Walker, Wire Editor
Drew Leder, News Editor
Doug Walker, Sports Editor
Jay Janner, Art Director
Mary-Lynne Rice, Entertainment Edi
tor
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BLOOM COUNTY
by BerRe Breathed
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