Page 12
The Battalion
Monday, January 30,1989
Reviews
Coffeehouse features free fun,
food; just remember to snap
By Chuck Lovejoy
ENTERTAINMENT WRITER
Because of the constantly nasty
weather and the inevitable beginin-
ning of the spring semester, I wasn’t
in any kind of decent mood by the
end of last week — until MSC Town
Hall’s Coffeehouse on Friday eve
ning saved me from the depths of
gloom.
Coffeehouse is the best thing to
happen to the College Station enter
tainment scene in quite some time.
It’s relaxed, it’s friendly, and it’s
free. Nothing else around can match
that combination.
You know what you’re in for the
minute you walk into the Rumours
snack bar, the biweekly home of Cof
feehouse.
People are lounging on the floor
amidst scattered milk crates holding
candles and bowls of popcorn, sit
ting on seats near the refreshment
table (the free refreshment table) in
the back or peering down on the rest
from Rumours’ balcony.
Granted, it can get a Httle
cramped in the small snack bar, but
it doesn’t seem to bother anyone.
The murmur of friendly conversa
tion continues whether those attend
ing are elbow-to-elbow or have
enough room to stretch out and re
lax.
continuing its downward path. But
at last the show started, and I knew
everything would be all right.
Sean Oakley, a junior psychology
major, took the stage following the
poem and sat down on the stool with
his guitar in hand. He wasn’t wear
ing any shoes.
“My dog ate my shoelaces,” he ex
plained.
A strong vocalist and musician,
Oakley performed a set of songs he
penned himself, which proved him
to be an adept songwriter.
Oakley’s songs, from the driving
“Little Circles” to the playful “Coin’
Down,” were enjoyable. He even
proved to be aware of current af-
fairswith a song called “Take Me
Home,” which referred to Ted
Bundy, the confessed serial killer
who was electrocuted under the
death penalty this past week.
I especially appreciated the way
he handled the Bundy song, telling
the audience, “It’s not about right or
wrong — it’s just a perspective.”
After his “perspective,” Oakley
paid homage to his obvious musical
heritage with a song he called “a trib
ute to ’60s songs that rallied the pub
lic to the causes they supported.”
Aggiejoke.
“It’s the only one I like,” he said.
The audience liked it, too, be
cause it concerned an Aggie who ac
tually won something — a happen
ing almost never occurring in one of
those infernal jokes.
DeCuir displayed a diverse song
writing style, playing pieces having a
folk (“So Song Sing Me a Smile”),
country (“All My Blue”) and even
Spanish flair (“Even an Outlaw Can
Change”). He carried his messages
across with a clean, energetic picking
style, especially on the Spanish “Out
law,” which contained onlythree
words of Spanish.
His comic touch added a person
able air to his songs, as DeCuir told
the audience when important sec
tions were coming up and even told
the listeners to make up their own
words as he sang “la, la, la, la, la. . . .”
Poet and senior psychology major
Julie Minerbo was next up to bat
with two original poems written dur
ing bizarre situations. Actually, she
entered Rumours during a bizarre
situation, because she was in the
bathroom when Wall called her to
the stage. Of course, she couldn’t
come out, so Wall had to ad-lib for a
few minutes until she finished her
fore reciting the poem.
P c .
Her next revelation was called “In
the Midst of a Tlassroom Coma.”
Rumours wasn’t exactly packed
on Friday, but an ample crowd
showed up to witness the third in
stallment of Town Hall’s amateur
talent revue. Those who did attend
were not disappointed.
Stevenn Wall, a sophomore recre
ation and parks major and director
of Coffehouse, welcomed the audi
ence with a recitation of Jackson
Matthews’ poem, “The Gladly
Dead.” He really scared me with the
poem he chose, because it was about
worms crawling through decaying
flesh. He read half-jokingly, but it
was too late.
Ooffeehouse is the best thing to happen to the
College Station entertainment scene in quite some
time. It’s relaxed, it’s friendly and it’s free. Nothing
else around can match that
combination. . . .People are lounging on tne floor
amidst scattered milk crates holding candles and
bowls of popcorn, sitting on seats near the
refreshment table. . . .Granted, it can get a little
cramped in the small snack bar, but it doesn t seem
to bother anyone.”
The result was the sentimental bal
lad “Take the Skies.”
Evidently, someone else especially
appreciated his efforts. He was
thrown a rose before he left the
After that introduction, I was
kind of wondering what the rest of
the evening was going to prove to be
like. First Wall read the poem, and
then he announced that the Neo-
Classic Post-Modern Destructionists,
the mixed-media group I was
looking forward to seeing, weren’t
going to appear due to Salvador Da
li’s death.
Up to that point my week was
stage.
Following Oakley was Carl De
Cuir, another talented guitarist/vo
calist/songwriter.
DeCuir took a different approach
to his performance, adding bits of
comedy throughout his material. He
was amazingly relaxed, considering,
as I found out after the show, he
never before had performed in
front of anyone other than his
friends.
He even opened his act with an
business.
“I was going to read three,” Min
erbo said after she entered and in
troduced herself. “But if I do that,
you’ll all be in a deep coma by the
time I finish.”
Thanks for the honesty, Julie.
Her poems weren’t as bad as she
said. In fact, they actually were
good. She has a way with words
that’s pretty hard to come by.
Her first selection, “Mental Homi
cide,” she said was “written late one
night as (she) was coming off a deep
buzz.
“I was lying on the floor looking at
myself in the mirror and pondering
why we humans exist,” she said be-
Other highlights of their set were
a version of “Breaking Up Is Hard
to Do” that was dedicated to George
Bush and a peppy rendition of
“Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.”
The loudest audience applause,
that’s right — applause, came for
their last number, in which they each
impersonated an instrument, includ
ing a trumpet, trombone, bass and
New punk LP soars, slasherflick bombs
Figures on a Beach
Figures On a Beach
Sire Records
★★★★
By S. Hoechstetter
REVIEWER
If you want to listen to one of the
most refreshing underground bands
around, get your hands on a copy of
Figures On a Beach self-titled al
bum.
This band does everything —
songs that are humorous, songs that
are socially conscious, songs that are
good for dancing, songs with little or
no meaning and love songs. You
name it and chances are Figures On
a Beach does it.
The music on the album is crude
but it complements lead singer and
keyboard player Anthony
Kaczynski’s raw vocals. In places his
voice sounds like a matured Adam
Ant.
Other members of the band in
clude John Richard Rolski on guitar,
Perry Tell on bass, and drummer
Michael J.F. Smith.
The first song on the album, “Ac
cidentally 4th St. (Gloria)” starts out
with quiet chords and then surprises
the listener by bursting into an en
ergetic song. This is the kind of song
all bands should have as their
opener because it wakes the listener
up and makes him curious enough
to really listen to the rest of the al
bum.
“Flex” is the next song on the al
bum. It has a heavier, slower sound
that matches the lyrics about a
strange dream in which the presi
dent of the United States calls a
strange man and asks him to come to
Washington, D.C. to help solve some
of the nation’s problems.
As in other songs on the album,
references are made to practicing
safe sex.
The next song, “(Don’t Make Me)
Nervous” explodes almost before
“Flex” has even-finished fading out.
Powerful lyrics about a man who
looks like he has everything but actu
ally has an inferiority complex make
this one of the best songs on the al
bum.
The chorus of “(Don’t Make Me)
Nervous” lists the attributes the
scharacter hares with stars like Mar
lon Brando and James Dean, but
warns, “don’t make me nervous” or
else who knows what will happen.
“Clamdiggin’ ” slows things down
again with lyrics similar to Otis Red-
|
W MU
ding’s “Sittin’ on the Dock of the
Bay”. The song is about a rich man
who spends all his time on the
world’s most beautiful beaches and
doesn’t do much else.
tlamingo statuettes in the front yard.
The last two songs on the album
are loaded with meaning. “Welfare"
speaks out against the injustices and
suffering the poor endure.
“The Wheel” is a somewhat de
pressing song, as shown by lyrics
like, “No one wants to hear your
hard luck story/They don’t want to
hear how you wasted your life/No
one wants to live with a faded glory/I
can’t believe you’re still under the
wheel.”
In the lively “You Ain’t Seen
Nothing Yet,” the band tells of a
manwho got a little more than just a
good time from the girl he had been
in love with. This particular story
has a happy ending, however, be
cause the man’s doctor is able to cure
his disease.
Figures On a Beach changes their
pace and style constantly, so so the
listener never gets bored with the
songs.
“Mystified” is an interesting song.
The music is fast, but it drags in
places as though played on the
wrong speed. The effect adds to the
lyrics, which correlate being in love
with a ride on an emotional roller
coaster, as shown by the lyrics,“-
Seems that others will remember ev
ery time that I forget/Weil, if it
seems I’ve lost the art of conversa-
tion/Well, it seems you go straight to
my head/I fall over and over again.”
“Get Serious” is a silly song that
sounds like something Oingo
Boingo would sing.
The song is not really about any
thing in particular — it just conjures
up images of mobile homes being
swept away by tornadoes and of pink
The line, “If you’re thinkin’ bout
my welfare then why do you abuse
me so?” captures the song’s theme.
It’s depressing but socially conscious.
“Green” has some of the best ly
rics on the album. The song is about
friendship and love that have gone
sour and how difficult it is to end a
relationship. The color imagery sug
gests the continuum of a rainbow
and therefore the continuing proc
ess of living.
The image is reinforced by the
closing line, “Broken hearts can
mend/It’s a long way back from no-
where/Willows don’t break, they
bend/And some dreams they never
end.”
Figures On a Beach is exciting to
listen to because it contains a little bit
of everything. It’s fun, it’s sad, it’s
silly and it’s melancholy, but that’s
what makes it such a good listening
experience.
“Night of the Demons”
Starring Linnea Quigley
Directed by Kevin S. Tenney
Rated R
By Shane Hall
REVIEWER
If the horror movie genre were to
be given an enema, the tube should
be stuck in “Night of the Demons.”
This movie is an hour and a half of
bad makeup effects, bad special ef
fects, bad acting and sex jokes that
even the lowest mentality wouldn’t
find amusing.
The last thing the world needs is a
film that combines the 7th grade
bathroom humor of “Porky’s” with a
mash of cliches culled from many of
today’s horror flicks: horny teens,
horny teens killed while engaged in
intimate activity, and so on.
The plot itself is nothing terribly
original. A group of rowdy teens de
cides to hold a Halloween party at an
abandoned funeral parlor that turns
out to be possessed by demons. You
can probably guess the rest.
The demons take over the bodies
of the kids, turning them one by one
into slimy-looking ghouls with sharp
teeth. However, the makeup is so
badly done that these demons look
more like someone who slept in the
sewer after a three-day drunk than
something from the depths of hell.
According to the film, the demons
must disappear and return to hell by
dawn. That brings up one question:
was that sunlight that was beaming
through the windows during the
scenes in the house? I thought this
was supposed to be taking place at
night. Did I miss something some
where?
Linnea Quigley, also known as
“the Scream Queen,” stars in the
movie. What she does can hardly be
described as acting. She goes
through most of the movie with the
same open-mouth facial expression.
Also, she speaks in the whiney, irri
tating voice of the spoiled brat you
knew in high school. None of the
other members of the cast make new
advances in method acting in this
movie, either.
Many horror films today have hu
morous and comic elements to re
lieve the tension and suspense. The
jokes in “Night pf the Demons,”
however, are not funny. In fact, the
humor is moronic and at times bor
ders on offensive.
As if the bad effects and bad jokes
weren’t enough, director Kevin Ten
ney tosses in gratuitous shots of bare
breasts for no apparent reason than
for the sake of bare breasts. You’d
think the “boobs” they hired as ac
tors would have been enough.
Despite its many classics such as
the original “Halloween,” “The Hills
Have Eyes,” “Night of the Living
Dead,” and the original “A Night
mare On Elm Street,” the horror
genre will never gain any respect
ability as long as movies like “Night
of the Demons” continue to be
made.
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Again she explained the origin of
the work, saying she was sitting in a
particularly boring English litera
ture class last semester listening to
the professor drone on and on about
nothing.
In her poem, she said she couldn’t
wait to get out of the room “to leave
the class as empty as the words of
hollowness floating there before.”
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After Class, a barbershop quartet,
performed after Minerbo. But be
fore they appeared, Wall was at the
microphone again, telling the audi
ence members to snap or else.
You see, at Coffeehouse, you’re
supposed to snap, not clap, to show
you like something. (It has never
been said what you’re supposed to
do if you don’t.)
Bobby McFerrin would be proud
of After Class, which is composed of
Jon Gardner, ajunior electrical engi
neering major; Gregg Gorman, a se
nior microbiology major; Keith
Richbourg, a senior marketing ma
jor; and Ritchie Thompson, ajunior
electrical engineering major.
Photo By Phelan M. Ehenhack
Carl DeCuir performs at MSC Town Hall’s Coffeehouse Friday.
At the beginning of their show,
the guys explained that their music
was a little different than what had
been heard earlier.
“Our music is downright happy —
and we apologize for that,” they
joked. They weren’t kidding, either.
After Class is the best barbershop
quartet I have ever seen.Their into
nation was flawless; their voices were
clear. And they managed to show
case their personalities at the same
time.
It was easy to tell that these guys
are good friends. Their onstage an
tics and anecdotes also showed them
to have mutual respect, for through
out their show no one vocalist
hogged the stage, vocally or other
wise. They gave an impression of
teamwork, which also added true
class.
drum and cymbal. The sounds were
amazingly realistic and a novel end
to their show.
Following After Class’ perfor
mance, Oakley returned by request,
shoeless again, to perform two of his
funnier songs, songs he said really
were meant to be jokes.
The first, Called “The Puppy,” was
described by Sean as being “acoustic
punk” music and was evidently writ-
Oakley and DeCuir
were exchanging names
and phone numbers and
talking about writing songs
together in the future. With
their combined talents, I’m
sure they could make a
name for themselves.
I heard DeCuir tell
Oakley, ‘Let’s play
something in A.’ I looked
across the room, and they
were sitting, guitars in hand
and obviously preparing for
a jam session.”
For the Coffeehouse finale,asal
ways, Wall invited the audiena
members to the stage to telljokes.
The first and only person upwai
Hope Warren, a psychology major
who performed at the fall semesten
last Coffeehouse. Hope told her
“pink room joke,” to the audience)
dismay.
The joke was so bad that Walljoi
ingly said that was all he could pet
mil to be told, and the semesters
first Coffeehouse ended.
After the show, I saw somethint
that may prove to be something io
watch for in the future—Oakleyand
DeCuir were exchanging names and
phone numbers and talking aboin
writing songs together in the future
With their combined talents, I'i
sure they could make a name for
themselves, if not bv themselves.
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In fact, just as I was leaving!
heard DeCuir tell Oakley, “Let’sphi
something in ‘A.’ ” I looked acrosr
the room, and they were sitting,gui
tars in hand and obviously prepar
ing for a jam session.
I guess they couldn’t wait, and I
can’t wait to see what the results nil
be.
The next Coffeehouse will be it
about three weeks, according to
Wall. Anyone interested in perfora
ten before he got the dog that ate his in g should contact him throughibt
shoelaces. MSC 1 own Hall office.
In his last sone, he sang, “I like And for those of you who willtakt
Ig, o , _ .Esam—
cartoons,” the melody of the enjoya- m y advice and attend the next Col
ble “The Cartoon Song.” feehouse, remember to snap.
Complex twists in plot,
comedy of errors make
‘■Forum’ a great film
“A Funny Thing Happened on
the Way to the Forum”
Starring Zero Mostel
Directed by Richard Lester
not rated
By S. Hoechstetter
REVIEWER
This movie’s plot may sound like
an expose on the worst of Washing
ton politics — it revolves around de
ception, corruption, sex scandals, in
competence and other assorted
versions of debauchery. Actually,
the film is director Richard Lester’s
1966 version of “A Funny Thing
Happened on the Way to the Fo
rum”.
This comedy of errors is showing
in Rudder Theater Wednesday at
7:30 p.m. as part of the MSC Aggie
Cinema Classic Film Series. Seeing
the movie would make a great study
break.
The film is nonstop farce and
physical humor from the opening
scene in the streets of ancient Rome
to the last scene in the streets of an
cient Rome. Guess what? The whole
movie is set in the streets of ancient
Rome.
“A Funny Thing Happened on
the Way to the Forum” has some
thing for everyone. Zero Mostel says
as the film begins. He plays Pseudo-
lus, a conniving but endearing slave
who just wants to be free.
True to Pseudolus’ word, this film
certainly does have something for
everyone. It includes pirates, beauti
ful maidens, beautiful courtesans
(prostitutes), eunuchs, young people
in love, men dressed up as beautiful
maidens and acrobats, chariot chases
and more.
The plot goes something like this:
Hero (Michael Crawford) is a rich,
innocent, klutzy, gangly kid who
lives next door to the local brothel.
He sees a beautiful girl in the win
dow facing his and decides he is in
love and that he must have her.
When his parents leave town, he
promises Pseudolus his freedom if
the slave will take him to meet the
girl.
After being tempted and refusing
all the other courtesans. Hero sees
his true love, the virgin Phyllia. But,
alas, she has been sold to a p
who is coming for her that very
The quick-thinking Pseudolus
the keeper of courtesans, Maras
Lyons (Phil Silvers), that becaus
Phyllia is from Crete she has bed
exposed to the Smiling Plagueani
will die a horrible, smiling
within a few days.
He offers to take Phyllia froiul' Got” Ai
cus to prevent the other girls
being exposed to this deadly p
Lycus falls for the ploy and Herr
takes Phyllia home for the al
ternoon. End of story, right? Wronf
It hasn’t even started.
Phyllia says she loves Hero bit
can’t marry him because she has
contractual obligation to the pitf
who purchased her, to which Pstn
dolus replies, “An honest v
What a terrible combination!”
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Meanwhile, Hero’s father return
early. Phyllia thinks he is the pira«
so she says, “Take me!” Pseudolr
tells him she is the new maid. Theft
ther likes the new help a lot ant
breaks into a humorous song callet
“Everybody Ought to Have a Maid
At the same time, Hero is sittin
in the Roman Baths with a horsf
He’s trying to get some mare’sswei
that is called for in a recipe fort 1
sleeping potion he needs to make' L,esert
he can take Phyllia aw'ay before
pirate comes.
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Buster Keaton plays an old
on a worldwide search for his
children who wear identical ring
Although it might not seem like
here, it really does fit into this era?
plot.
The story takes some really colt
plex twists and turns that are K*
complicated to explain here. It is
comedy of the absurd with all
wrong people drinking the wroi
potions containing mare’s sviei
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wrong house for the wrong reason
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“A Funny Thing Happened
the Way to the Forum” is a lotfaj
nier than it’s presented here. If sals
a much more pleasant way to stud ‘V;
history than staying home and teat 0 7t ‘
ing textbooks.
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