Page 8 The Battalion Friday, December 2,1988 And now a little bedtime story about days of Texas’ old glory Well the end has Finally come. I suppose it’s appropriate that my last column as sports editor should run the last day of my tenure — and the day after the Aggie football season finally wound down. Choosing a final column topic was difficult. There’s so much that hasn’t been said. I haven’t explained why I think Shelby Metcalf should be replaced as Texas A&M’s head basketball coach. I haven’t said how much I’ve regretted not getting to cover women’s basketball or volleyball in my tour of duty at The Battalion. / never blasted Mike Tyson, Brian Bosworth or Rod Dockery. But a choice must be made. And considering how so many Battalion readers think we printed a bunch of lies concerning a certain head football coach and athletic director, I suppose it’s appropriate, just for once, to indulge in the world of fiction. It’s getting late, too. The paper isn’t going to be ready to go to press until about 1 or 2 in the morning, (That’s went to press for you readers, I suppose.) And Tm sure you’re just as sleepy as I am. So gather ’round, children, as the sun sets upon this once-glorious state, and I’ll tell you a bedtime story. . . . Once upon a time there was a greeeaaat big place called Texas, and it was just chock-full of neat stuff. The people were friendly, the weather was moderate, and folks just kinda lived their own little lives without botherin’ other people a whole lot — ’cept for a little braggin’ now and then. But one thing set this place apart from all other places. You see, the inhabitants of this little paradise were, well, not quite right in the head all 12 months of the year. And as September grew near and the leaves began to turn, the natives started to get restless. And when they got restless; they started runnin’ over folks. The local farmers got into the action some, Q Hal Hammons Sports Editor and when they did they were baaaaad news. Even worse news for anybody who wanted to run over them. You never woulda thought agricultural or mechanical types could be so vicious. And they were not the only ones, by any stretch. There were rampaging herds of wild horses that centered up north near the panhandle. Some rangy mountain lions from down on the coast were usually tough to cage — and pretty much impossible to tame. And there was a clan of bears just to the west of here that, when it wasn’t time to hibernate, could cause a mess of trouble. And if you went back far enough you’d find a time when even coastal night fowl and northern amphibians were a force with which to be reckoned. Strange, I know, but true nonetheless. But the main death-and-destruction types were from a little town to the south and west. You never would’ve thought cattle could cause such a ruckus. You see them grazing in a pasture or something and you think, “Low brain-wattage types here.†But it seems that certain pastures were different. Because when they’d stampede into Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston, Waco, Lubbock, or even here in College Station, they were usually unstoppable. And when they were in their home territory — shoot, seems like not even an Indiana Irishman could stop ’em. But then things started to change. And not for the better. ’Course, the birds and toads were the first to kick off. No one was too surprised at that — they just couldn’t evolve at the same pace as the others. The toads keep showing signs of significance, but it always seems to amount to nothing. Oh well ... The big turnaround happened one year when a blight from Kansas came down and wiped out the herd of horses. They’d proven succeptible to it, and in fact they were still reeling from the last battle they’d had with it. The second shot put ’em away. Nobody’s seen so much as a single pony since. The bears, apparently, have just stayed asleep for the last couple of years. At least, that’s what I’m told. They certainly haven’t caused any trouble lately. .Actually it’s been the farmers who’ve been pushing people around lately. After a few years of mediocre,yields, they’ve been reaping some hefty cotton harvests recently. But unfortunately, they got hit by the blight too. That and some angry hogs wiped this year’s crop out, and it looks like the pickings will be slim for some time. The gulf-coast cats looked like they might be able to reek enough havoc to make up the difference, but it looks like the plague is spreading east. West, too. The cattle are looking purty sickly already, and just not from the blight. It don’t look too promising for the future. Someone’s gonna have to breed a new strain — one that’s resistant to this kind of disease. Trouble is, no one seems too concerned with the problem — they’re just trying to water down the results. Trying to keep the dying horses out in the field long enough for one more harvest. But don’t cry. You’re forgetting, it’sjust a story. Now, if this were real, well it’d be purty depressing. ’Nuff to make you want to watch . . . basketball or something. But anyway, I hope you liked it, ’cause it s tirne for bed. And that’s the last page of the story. The end. If Sherrill’s leaving, get an outside man Jackie Sherrill hasn’t even left Texas A&M yet — despite what you might have heard from news reportslately. But already rumors are starting to lly about his suc cessor — or successors. Most of the speculation seems to be centering around the head coaching aspect of Sherrill’s job. Either people are assuming the jobs will stay under one man or, more likely, they are thinking the new athletic director would be separate from the coach and therefore uninteresting. I am of the second persuasion. Most of the rumors seem to be centered around University of Houston Head Coach Jack Par dee. He’s certainly got the cre dentials: NFL and USFL experi ence, college experience, proven winner, proven program-builder. And most importantly, rumor has it, still fiercely loyal to Texas A&M. After all, it’s not easy to dissociate yourself completely from the school where you were an All-American. Whoever isn’t on the Pardee bandwagon seems to be support ing Defensive Coordinator R.C. Slocum for the job. And again, that would make sense. Slocum interacts well with the media, can obviously coach with the best of them, and would make the transition from coach to coach as easy as could be ex pected. Not to mention the fact that Sherrill placed enough faith in Slocum to appoint him as his replacement against TCU. But paradoxically, the very reasons that make the two men so qualified for the job make them the very men who would be abso lutely the worst for it. If Sherrill quits or is f ired after the recent turmoil, it will leave an Hal L. Hammons Analysis impression in the minds of peo ple across the country that’s even worse than the one they have now. Proven guilty once, his leav ing would imply his guilt again. And hiring someone else to come in and fix the situation will look bad if the Board of Regents hires a “good Ag†— no matter how qualified he might be. I have no question about Slo cum’s coaching ability, and I imagine he will make a fine head coach one day. But if he stays at A&M, there will always be people wondering if he was part of the wrongdoing of Sherrill’s adminis tration. Pardee is doing a fine job at Houston, and I’m happy for him. But he’s a “good of boy.†And Texas A&M doesn’t need a head coach that’s chummy with the big bosses. It needs a coach that will never be accused of being a “yes-man†to men who have stood behind Sherrill staunchly throughout all the controversy of the last few years. Who then? Well, I’m not counting on being on any kind of consultation committee when and if Sherrill vacates his jobs, but I think the obvious man for the job is Earl Bruce, the man whose Ohio State Buckeyes beat the Ag gies two years ago in the Cotton Bowl. Bruce is a proven winner, there are no questions about his integrity, and there’s little doubt he could be hired away from Northern Iowa, where he is now. And best of all, he has no con nections with Texas A&M. Curry’s job safe at Bama until ’92 From Staff and Wire Reports Head Coach Bill Curry is safe at Alabama until at least 1992. He got a concrete vote of confi dence for the remaining three years of his contract before Thursday night’s regular season college foot ball finale against Texas A&M Uni versity. Alabama officials were so con cerned with rumors about Curry’s job, they called a press conference to deal with them nine hours before kickoff. After the Crimson Tide’s 30-10 victory in Thursday night’s “Hurri cane Bowl†Curry has a 15-8 record in two years at Alabama and this year’s team is 8-3 but some Crimson Tide alumni haven’t been satisfied. “His contract is not for sale,†said Dr. Roger Sayers, Alabama’s interim president. There were rumors that Curry would be fired after Alabama’s Sun Bowl game Dec. 24 against Army. “Bill Curry will be our football coach tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and at least the next three years,â€.Sayers said. Sayers said ESPN’s report last week that an influential group of alumni had banded together to buy out Curry’s contract was incorrect. “That is absurd,†Sayers said. “I hope that any alumni group with $2 million to spend on Alabama will contact me at their earliest conve nience because I have in mind seve ral outstanding academic pro grams.†Sayers said Curry’s ethical behav ior was a “first priority†of the ad ministration and he said the school also is “pleased with his leadership.†He said Alabama’s definition of football success was a winning pro gram and one in which it “chal lenged for conference and national honors and does so with integrity.†Sayers praised Curry for this sea- £ CRIMSON TIDE son, saying he lost two great players to injury yet kept the team compet itive. “When a group of players can ad vance this far during adverse cir cumstances someone is molding real leadership and Character,†Sayers said. “That is the kind of person we want in charge of our program.†Red Blount, president pro-tem of the board of trustees, said, “I’m here to reinforce what Dr. Sayers said about our football program. “Let me repeat Billy Curry is our football coach and he will be our football coach for at least three years and I hope longer. His contract is not for sale. In the words of a recent candidate for president: Read my lips.†Blount said, “One of our trustees has been rumored to be a part of buying out coach Curry’s contract. This rumor like all the others is com pletely without foundation.†One of those rumors had Texas A&M coach Jackie Sherrill reseign- ing after Thursday night’s game and assuming the head coaching position at Alabama, his alma mater. Curry, a Georgia Tech graduate, has an overall coaching record of 46- 51-4. He was head coach at Georgia Tech from 1980-1986 and recorded a mark of 31-43-4. SALE SALE SALE SALE SALE SALE SALE SALE 2 Contact Lenses * < CO < CO UJ < CO UJ -J < CO UJ —I < CO Only Quality Name Brands (Bausch & Lomb, Ciba, Barnes-Hinds-Hydrocurve) $59°° in o o pr. *-STD. DAILY WEAR SOFT LENSES $ 79 00 o o pr. *-STD. EXTENDED WEAR SOFT LENSES $ 79 00 o o $ in pr. *-STD. 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'"r-r 0 - d j m 1 block South of Texas & University — SALE SALE SALE SALE SALE SALE SALE SALE ClNFPLEX ODEGN AND PUTT THEATRLS $3.00 BARGAIN MATINEE DAILY ALL SHOWS BEFORE 6 PM AT SELLCTED THLATRES CHECK SHOWTIMES POST OAK THREE 1500 Harvey Hoad CINEMA THREE 693-2796 315 College Ave. Naked Gun 5j30 7-20 9 : 20 â– Accused Land Before Time SCHULMAN 6 2002 E 29th 775-2463 IRON EAGLE I R BLUEBERRY Hill pg-is $ DOLLAR DAYS $ COCKTAIL r I COMING TO AMERICA R 2:10 7:05 ,4:4q 9:23. fllEHARD, 2:13 7:00 4:43 0:40 I ♦YOUNG GUNS R PLAZA 3 226 Southwest Pkwy. 693-2457 1 FRESH HORSES po 2:20 4:45 7:10 *35 1 TEQUILA SUNRISE r 2:15 4:40 7.13 9:40 |*C0C00N: THE RETURN pg 2:10 4:30 7:05 9:45 MANOR EAST 3 â– Manor East Mall 823-8300 •SCR00GED pg-is 2:25 4:40 7:25 9:40 EARNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS pg 2:30 4:45 7:15 9:35 •OLIVER & COMPANY Q 2:13 4:30 7:05 9:10 12th Man Scoreboard h Aggie fencers gig opponents in qualifie The Texas A&M Fencing Club produced qualifiers for the Ju nior Olympics after a successful competition in Port Aransas last weekend. Greg Dillworth and Kevin Hawkins both took first place ti tles, while Leslie Brown placed third in the women’s division. The students will compete in the National Junior Olympics in Col orado Springs, Colorado, in March. A&M hosts the NCAA fencing tournament in January. The Ag gies currently hold second place among Texas schools and hopeto capture the first place tide from the University of Texas. Rice,In- lane, Southwest Texas State, and the University of North Texasare among the schools invited to the tournament. Judo team closes fall season in Dallas Texas A&M’s Judo Club trav eled north last weekend to com pete in the Dallas Champion ships. Teams from the University of Texas and Arkansas as well as clubs from Florida, Colorado, Louisiana and others around Texas competed. The Aggies had an off-week, finishing near the bottom of the 20-25 team field. John Hughes took third in the LOS ANGE CLA quarte j as transferri 'two years age laying for th lit Aikman sa |[iues to houm feience —prol ■“When I tra going to g( [an, one of tl e Heisman l e conference arred a bit. T fore they hec Aikman isn’t Judo men’s novice 215-pound and heavyweight divisions. David Schmidt also came in third in the novice 185-pound division. Another notable performance was Bob Perez’s fourth place in the 132-pound class. The tournament marked the last for the judo Club this fall but thev " ill resume action |an.2l. Coming Attractions A&M swim team travels to Tuscaloosa The Texas A&M swimming team splits up squads this week end to compete in two tourna ments. After a two-week layoff, part of the team will travel to Tuscaloosa, Ala., to swim against teams from Iowa, Arizona, Clemson, Florida, Southern Illinois, Indiana and Alabama, the host team. The rest of the team goes to Fort Wort for the Texas Christian Invitational to face teams from Texas, Rice, Oral Roberts, Drury College and TCU. Swimmers in Alabama get un- derway today at 11 a.m. and con tinue through Sunday while those in Fort Worth compete only Fri d.iv and Saturday. Aggie coaches are hoping for some of their swimmers in Ala bama to meet NCAA qualifying standards. Swimmers considered favorites to do so are Mike Va rozza and Ernie Vela for the men, and Susan Habermas, Laura Crimes, Joan Wojtowicz and Jen nifer N ewcomb on the women's team. Aggie hoopsters battle Lamar tonight The A&M men’s basketball team hosts the Lamar Cardinals in a 7:30 match tonight at G. Rollie White Coliseum. The Aggies have posted a 3-1 mark so far this season while the Cardinals stand at 1-1. A&M defeated Stephen F. Austin 1 17-88 earlier this week in Nacodoches. travel to Minneapolis, Minn, for the Dial Classic. A&M takes on Kansas State at 6 p.m tonight. Coach Lynn Hickey coached the Ladv Wildcats before coming to A&M. * The I adv Aerne hoopsters Minnesota plays Radford in the other first round game and the finals and consolation game will he Saturday. Rangers make bid for fireballer Ryan HOUSTON (AP) — The Texas Rangers have offered free agent pitcher Nolan Ryan a one-year con tract for more than $1 million. Rangers General Manager Tom Grieve said Thursday. Ryan became a free agent at the end of the 1988 season with the Houston Astros and has been of fered a 1-year pact by both Houston and the California Angels. “We think he would go hand in hand with our other veteran pitcher, Charlie Hough,†Grieve said. “They would provide strong leadership for our young, developing pitching staff.†Grieve said he made the offer Tuesday night to Dick Moss, Ryan’s agent, after the Rangers lost out in the bidding for pitcher Mike Moore, who signed a multi-year contract with the Oakland Athletics. So Grieve turned his attention to Ryan, another $1 million pitcher. “We didn’t feel we could negotiate with more than one million dollar “I just want to express by this«!• fer that we are serious,’’ Gris said.†Ryan earned $1 million in the 111 year of his contract with the Asti after leading the league in striit Houston originally offered Ra $800,000 plus incentives to playito season for the Astros. T he Astros have increased tlB of fer to $1.15 million, the Hoi® Post reported Thursday, but it is below the reported $1.5 milliono! fered try the Angels. The Post said Ryan rejected offers by the Angels and Astros ait now is looking to the Rangers pitcher because what would happen if both said yes?†Gripvp «aiH Grieve said. Grieve says the Rangers’ initial of fer to Ryan isn’t the best one Ryan has received, but the Rangers are willing to negotiate. Ryan led the National Leap with 228 strikeouts last season.Ii« the ninth time he has been league strikeout leader. Ryan could be a benefit to you® Texas pitchers Bobby Witt, JeffR® sell and Jose Guzman, Grieve said. “Our younger pitchers mayn# to see what conditioning and dew miniation and drive and courge do,†Grieve said. “Here’s a guy who lias thrown miles per hour for 22 years. Tl doesn’t happen by accident." Is;* HE: WI RE: ROTHER’S BOOKSTORE GET TOP DOLLAR FOR YOUR USED BOOKS & SHOOT TO WIN Bat Cl a: 84! 304 Jersey 901 Harvey 9 OUT OF 10 PUPPIES PREFER THE BATTALION