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• We Deliver • 846-5273 «
Snakes...
and
-Rabbits & Guinea Figs
-Reptiles
1703 Texas ©rowij’s
Culpepper Plaza
-Tropical fish
-Pet Supplies
FISH - N - PETS
693-6547
Page 12/The Battalion/Monday, September 26, 1988
I never imagined the answer
to A&M’s woes was so easy
The Power Hitter.
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MORE BYTES, LESS BUCKS
CO/MPUTER
403 B. University Dr. W.
(409) 268-0033
819 S. Texas Ave.
(409) 268-0730
There are many great and
mystical questions that perplex
us as we walk along our trek
down life’s road — which, by
the way, is gravel-surfaced.
“Who am I?” “Why am I
here?” “How can 15,000 blue-
stickered cars fit in 3,000
parking spaces?”
The way can be much more
comfortable after the
realization that many, if not all,
of the answers to such questions
are much easier than it would
have been expected. The
answers to the above posers, for
example are: “Check your
Hal L.
Hammons
Sports viewpoint
driver’s license,” “Because you are not anywhere else,”
and “Divine intervention.”
Simple, huh?
I have become convinced that the majority of life's
ever-elusive answers are in truth right beneath our
noses, only waiting for us to take a good whiff.
Revelation time: I recently have been informed that
this also applies to our woes concerning the all-seeing
Eye who spawns such perpetual fear and dread in all of
us.
No, not that Eye.
The NCAA. National Communists Against Athletes,
as Brian Bosworth termed it. The team of investigators
infiltrating athletic departments state-wide with
industrial-strength disinfectant, looking to rid the
nation — or at least the Southwest Conference — of
inappropriate recruiting, enticing and back-scratching.
There is an answer. It is simple. It is practical. And it
will work. Guaranteed.
This revelation came to me by way of one of our
letters to the editor. I would have printed it and
imparted its words of truth to you all, but unfortunately
the writer is from San Antonio, and we could not reach
him or her to verify that he/she actually wrote the letter.
Battalion letter policy requires positive verification of all
letters to prevent someone from writing something
asinine and signing someone else’s name to it.
It’s a shame, too. You would have enjoyed the letter.
The basic problem, you see, is that we have been
mistaken about what the problem is in the first place.
It’s not the players, the coaches, the administrators, the
boosters, or even the system itself . It’s the media that’s
to blame for it all.
We have been wasting our efforts on a problem that
isn’t going to get any better, the writer states. It’s
pointless to try to keep people and programs from
cheating. It’s going to happen. Sad, but true.
Doesn’t sound like much of a solution, you might say.
Well, that’s only the definition of the actual problem.
- The solution: Quit talking about it so much.
Gag the investigative reporters. Stifle the muck-
rakers. Fell ’em all to go expose Geraldo Rivera or
something. But keep their collective noseoutofSWG
football.
It’s our fault, speaking generally for the sorrylotll
is the Texas media circus, that such fiascos asSaturdar
disaster in Stillwater happen. It’s our fault thelJof
Texas has fallen to a state where a Division I-AAsdiod
like North Texas can take the famous Longhorns to tkt
brink of the branding corral. Shoot, it’s probably our
fault Rice lost to Southwestern Louisiana, too.
You see, our overactive curiosity gland turns
prospective All-America backs and linemen awayfrot
our institutions. They’d rather go someplace like the
University of Oklahoma, where there’s no dangerof
NCAA probation.
You can understand that, I am confident. It’sobvio
this Einstein intellect, who is also blessed with thepenif
Poe, is playing with a different number of cards than
the rest of us. Of t hat there can be no question.
It wouldn’t be so bad, you see, if those supposedly
“squeaky-clean" programs were really so high andholi
But the integrity of coaches such as Notre DamesLou
Holtz and Penn State’s Joe Paterno is completely and
totally a media creation.
Everybody does it, reveals the writer.
“The truth is,” says the budding sage, “the problemi
just as bad in every other conference.”
Oh, to have this person’s sources! Il l did, thiswholt
communist system would be exposed for what it real
is.
But the problem is, he says (or she says), that writer!
and broadcasters in other states won’t write about the
stuff that goes on there. They would lose too much
advertising revenue from hacked-off regional
universities. They know not to stomp on toes.
Texas media, it would seem, either doesn’t knowor
doesn’t care.
We are willing to tear down schools in other partsof
the state who might compete too aggressively withLooi
State U. If you see, as I do now, that every region of the
state feels the same way and will react accordingly,you
will understand the stale of the state.
“Shut up!” he says to the Texas media. Withlesssaid
on the subject, the conference can elevate itselfonce
again to the statute that it should have.
Th
their
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to. 1
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I'm sure he’d agree with me when I say the program
here would be found to Ik* just as strong as that of, say,
the University of Miami. All it would take wouldbea
See Hammons, page 13
e
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(iRTS S CRAFTS
Basket Weaving - Appalachian Style:
Thurs, Oct 13, 20, 27 Nov 3
6:30-9pm
$ 16/student
Calligraphy:
Wed, Sept 28 Oct 5, 12, 19, 26 Nov 2, 9
7-9pm
$23/student
Drawing:
Mon, Sept 26 Oct 3. 10, 17, 24
6-9pm
$25/studcnt
Jewelry Casting Seminar :
Sat. & Sun. Oct 1 & 2
9am-12noon & l-4pm each day
$38/student
Jewelry Construction Seminar:
Sat. & Sun. Sept 24 & 25
9am-12noon & l-4pm each day
$38/student
Stained Glass:
Mon, Oct 24, 31 Nov 7, 14, 21
6-9pm
$25/student
Etched Glass:
Tues, Oct 18
6-9pm
$8/studcnt
Painting With Oils:
Sun, Oct 16, 23, 30 Nov 6
2-6pm
$27/student
Potpourri :
Tues, Oct 25, Nov 1
6-8pm
$ 12/studcnt
1988 FALL SCHEDULE
BUSINESS
Olym
there
coach
some
Th
REGISTER NOW
MSC Basement
Beginning Accounting
Wed. Sept 28 - Nov 16
6-8pm
$28/student
Ther
Filer
PHOTOGRAPHY
Beginning Photography:
Mon, Oct 24, 31 Nov 7, 14
6- 9pm
$20/student
The Visual Art Of Photography:
Thurs, Oct 6, 13, 20, 27
7- 9pm
$ 17/student
Studio Photography:
Sat, Nov 12, 19
9-12noon
$25/student
Beginning Black & White Darkroom:
Wed, Sept 28 Oct 5. 12
6-9pm
Thurs, Sept 29, Oct 6, 13
6-9pm
Thurs, Nov 3, 10, 17
6-9pm
$25/student
Advanced Black & White Darkroom:
Tues, Oct 18, 25 Nov 1
6-9pm
$25/student
DANCE
LANGUAGES
Advanced Country & Western
Wed. Sept 28 Oct 5, 12, 19, 26
7:30-8:45pm
$20/student
Buying Your First Home:
Thurs. Sept 22, 29 Oct 6, 13, 20
7- 9pm
$ 18/student
Business Etiquette
Thurs. Oct 6, 13. 20, 27
8- 9pm
$10/studcnt
Beginning Jitterbug:
Mon, Sept 26 Oct 3, 10, 17, 24
7:00-8:15pm
$ 15/student
Ballroom Dancing:
Thurs, Sept 29, Oct 6, 13, 20, 27
7:00-8:30pm
$ 15/student
Hawaiian Dance:
Wed, Oct 5, 12, 19, 26 Nov 2, 9
8:20-9:20pm
$ 10/student
Middle Eastern Bellydance:
M/W Oct 3 -Nov 9
7:10-8:10pm
$20/studcnt
Bellydance/Exercise:
M/W, Oct 3 - Nov 9
6-7pm
$20/student
NEEDLEWORK
Crochet:
Wed, Oct 5, 12, 19, 26 Nov 2, 9
7-8:30pm
$ 18/student
POTTERY
Pottery - Wheel Throwing:
Thurs, Oct 6, 13, 20. 27 Nov 3, 10
5-7pm
$25/student
Counted Cross Stitch:
Tues, Sept 27 Oct 4, 11, 18
7-9pm
$15/studcnt
Embroidery - Hardanger :
Tues, Nov 15 & 17
6-9pm
$ 10/student
Thurs, Oct 6, 13. 20, 27 Nov 3, 10
7:30-9:30pm
$25/studcnt
WINE & SPIRITS
Conversational French:
M/W, Oct 3 - Nov 9
6:30-8:00pm
$25/student
Conversational German:
T/Th, Sept 27 - Nov 3
6:30-8:00pm
$25/student
Conversational Hebrew:
M/W, Oct 10 - Nov 16
7:30-9:00pm
$25/student
Conversational Italian:
M/W, Oct 3 - Nov 9
6-7:30pm
$25/studcnt
Conversational Japanese I :
M/W, Sept 26 - Nov 2
6-7:30pm
$25/student
Conversational Japanese II :
T/Th, Sept 27 - Nov 3
6-7:30pm
$25/student
Conversational Spanish:
M/W, Oct 17 - Nov 21
7:30-9pm
$25/student
Int Conversational Spanish:
M/W, Oct 17-Nov 21
6-7:30pm
$25/studcnt
Conversational Chinese:
M/W, Oct 3 - Nov 9
6-7:30pm
$25/student
Basics of Investing:
Tues. Oct 4. 11. 18. 25 Novi
7:30-9pm
$ 15/student
It'
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poor
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nave
strain
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Creative Writing:
Tues, Sept 27 Oct 4, 11, 18, 25 Nov
6:30-9:00pm
$25/studcnt
Communication Skills:
Tues, Oct 4, 11, 18. 25 Nov 1
7-9pm
$16/studcnt
phen
hat :
ofjo
Ri]
keep
I tew (
JA
The
COMPUTERS
Learn the Macintosh Computer:
Tues, Oct 25 Nov 1,8, 15
8-9:45pm
$1 5/student
recoi
tathU
worn
the s
Aljo
W
of I-
HEALTH
SPECIAL INTEREST
CPR:
T/Th, Oct 1 1 & 13
6- 10pm
M/W, Nov 14 & 16
6- 10pm
$ 10/student
Stop Smoking Now!
Mon, Oct 3. 10. 17, 24 Nov 7, 28
7:30-8:30pm
$ 18/student
First Aid:
Tues. Sept 27, 29 Oct 4, 6
6-9pm
$20/student
WOODWORKING
Beginning Woodworking:
Sun, Oct 23, 30 Nov 6, 13
6:30-9pm
$27/studcnt
Wine Appreciation:
Wed, Sept 21, 28 Oct 5, 12
7-8:30pm
$25/studcnt
Advanced Wine Appreciation:
Wed, Sept 21. 28 Oct 5, 12
8:30- 10pm
$25/student
Modern Homebrewing Practices:
Thurs, Oct 6, 13, 20, 27 Nov 3, 10
6-9pm
$30/studcnt
GUITAR
Auto Mechanics:
Wed, Sept 28, Oct 5, 12, 19, 26
6-8pm
$18/studcnt
LANDSCAPING
Beginning Guitar:
T/Th, Oct 18, 20, 25, 27 Nov 1, 3, 8, 10
7-8:30pm
$25/studcnt
Intermediate Guitar:
T/Th, Oct 18, 20, 25, 27 Nov 1. 3, 8, 10
8:30- 10pm
$23/student
Camcorder Techniques
and VCR Technology:
Tues, Sept 27 Oct 4, 11, 18, 25 Nov 1
7-9pm
$20/student
Bike Maintenance:
Tues, Oct 18, 25 Nov 1,8, 15
7-9pm
$16/studcnt
Home Landscaping:
Thurs, Sept 22, 29 Oct 6. 13
7-9:30pm (7-10:30 on Oct 13)
$ 19/student
Thurs, Oct 20, 27 Nov 3. 10
7-9:30pm (7-10:30 on Nov 10)
$ 1 9/student
Nonstudent fee is an
additional $2 per class.
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