L
Page 2/The Battalion/Wednesday, June 15, 1988
Return to sender
What’s recently been missing here on Page Two? You guessed it
— Mail Call. It seems as though the flow of irate, opinionated
letters has dropped to a daily low of zero.
What’s the cause of this infernal lack of correspondence?
Who knows. But surely some of you out there have some inclina
tion to write a letter to the editor. You just have to follow a few
simple rules: letters shouldn’t exceed 300 words in length, and
each letter must be signed. Letters must also include the author’s
classification, address and telephone number. And, as always,
the editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters for style and
length, but we will make every effort to maintain the author’s in
tent.
So keep those cards and letters coming. Yes, you too can be a
published writer.
— The Battalion Editorial Board
What do we fear
but change itself?
This is a bizarre
but true story. My
grandmother (we
call her Gimma)
was born in 1899
in West Virginia.
When she was
five, she was the
oldest of five chil-
d r e n, and her
mother did not al
ways have time to
keep an eye on
her. So Gimma’s mother told her to be
march and it was a girl’s, uh, you know,
THAT TIME — they would get hysteri
cal! Our band would be disgraced!
Jill
Webb
But eventually, we let women march,
and, lo and behold, they marched pretty
good. In fact, you couldn’t even tell the
difference. Our school and our band
survived. It was the irrational fear some
thing bad would happen that divided
the university even more than the
women themselves divided it.
sure to stay away from two things: rabid
dogs and snakes. Whenever Gimma saw
a dog she would run away as fast as she
could because she thought all dogs were
rabid. Gimma had never seen a snake,
even though she lived out in the coun
try. She just knew that they were bad.
Anytime something bad would happen
to her she’d say, “A snake bit me.” If she
were playing and fell down, she’d run to
her mother and say, “A snake bit me!.”
If someone hurt her feelings she’d cry,
“A snake bit me!.” If she was confused
or frustrated she’d say, “A snake bit
me!.” Her mother thought this was very
funny.
Another example would be this con
troversy about women working in the
perimeter or on the stack of bonfire.
This brings up some thoughtful ques
tions. How can we stack naked if women
are around? Who will bake the cookies?
Can we still say dirty words and be
manly men while chopping trees and
lifting logs? Will the bonfire burn cor
rectly if women work on it, or will it re
fuse to light? And i/ it doesn’t burn, can
we still beat t.u.?
When she was that age, Gimma slept
with her arm dangling out of sight, over
one side of the bed. One morning, she
woke up and she could not move her
arm. Her mother walked in and said,
“Hey, how come you can’t move your
arm?.”
Upset, Gimma said, “A snake bit
me!.” Her mother laughed and went to
see what was wrong.
Gimma’s mother looked at Gimma’s
hand. A big black snake had eaten her
middle finger as far down along its
throat as it would go, and it was trying to
eat her whole hand. Gimma couldn’t
move her arm because the snake was
pulling on it from the other direction.
Gimma’s mother killed the snake, and
Gimma soaked her hand in turpentine
because that was all they had back then
to kill germs. Gimma’s hand and fingers
were just fine after that, and Gimma was
not scared of snakes anymore.
These questions are silly and trivial,
but they are the kind of arguments
some people use to halt any kind of
change. They don’t stop to think
whether the change will be good or bad
or how it will affect our image. Their
mind is set in fear on the idea that all
change is bad. They are afraid that
A&M is fragile, like porcelain, and
change will crack and chip away every
thing that they love about the school
they feel is so special. Fear takes away
the ability to think reasonably, and
when people can’t be reasonable they
look to other things, like tradition or
prejudice, to keep their fear under con
trol.
Besides the fact that I think this is a
really neat story, I think it shows two
things. The first is that the unknown
and misunderstood get blamed for a lot
of things in which they have no part.
The second is that when people start to
learn about the things they are afraid of,
the fear begans to go away.
Remember w hen women first got into
the Aggie Band? Oh My God No! was
the outcry. Why, the band will be ru
ined! There cannot possibly be any
unity when women are around! The
band will fall apart! And our band is so
good! What if they were supposed to
The Battalion
(USPS 045 360)
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
The Battalion Editorial Board
Richard Williams, Editor
Sue Krenek, Managing Editor
Mark Nair, Opinion Page Editor
Curtis Culberson, City Editor
Becky Weisenfels,
Cindy Milton, News Editors
Anthony Wilson, Sports Editor
Jay Janner, Art Director
Opinion
Fear makes people do strange things.
It makes people think throwing dirt on
a woman because she is too close to a big
pile of wood makes sense. Because they
were afraid of facing the wrong of their
own bigotry, some people tried to van
dalize and destroy an anti-apartheid
shack. Fear puts blinders on people let
ting them only see the stereotype, and it
is easier to make fun of, harm or kill a
stereotype than a human being.
more exa
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All the things we give to you
and you stab us in the back
Nobody likes
an ingrate. You
do something nice
for someone and
they turn around
and stab you in
the back.
That’s why I
am declaring a
personal war on
the state of Flor-
ida and have
asked my fellow
Chicagoans to join in.
figures on snorting and sniffing. But it
runs into the millions of dollars.
And what does Florida do to show its
gratitude for all the money we pour
into their state?
The lousy ingrates are trying to steal
one of our baseball teams.
Mike
Royko
St. Petersburg, an overgrown hick
town, has been waving millions of dol
lars and the prospect of a new stadium
at the Chicago White Sox owners, trying
to Reduce them into abandoning their
natural home.
The Rf
me stage
ilisl
Consider how nice Chicagoans and
others from Illinois have been to the
Sunshine State.
Being your typical money-grubbing,
greedy franchise owners, these two hus
tlers are ready to pack up and move.
Last year, 1.2 million Illinoisans flew
to Florida. Only New York sent more
visitors. Another 700,000 Illinoisans
drove there.
That’s almost 2,000,000 residents of
Illinois pouring into Florida, spending
more than a billion dollars in restau
rants, gas stations, car rentals, motels,
hotels, condos, gold courses, tennis
clubs, bars and supermarkets.
I can’t blame the franchise owners. It
is their nature to be loyal only to their
own bottom lines. That’s how they got to
be rich in the first place, by leeching the
best deals they could get.
And that doesn’t include those who
buy condos and other vacation homes,
increasing the wealth of the Florida de
velopers and contributing tax dollars to
that state.
But I do blame Florida. Not just the
mayor of St. Petersburg, but those in the
state legislature who are willing to chip
in millions of dollars to finance a sta
dium, the bait with which they hope to
hook the Sox.
So I think it’s time for Chicagoans, es
pecially White Sox fans, to stop passively
waiting for their baseball team to be sto
len from them.
So Illinois accounts for about 6 per
cent of all the tourist dollars that pour
into Florida. Since tourism is Florida’s
biggest industry, we’re not talking
about walking-around money.
It’s time to fight back.
The Chicago Tribune, where I work,
has already taken a first step by encour
aging a symbolic protest by Chicagoans.
has never tried to steal our baset
teams. If anything, California haste
kind enough to accept some of
more nutty citizens as residents.
You also can find good beaches
Georgia’s coast and along the Caroc
Or on the Red Neck Riviera in M
sippi.
Now, let me speak to the childret
Chicago. Did you know thatinFlori
they have big mean alligators? And
you know that every year these alii
tors eat sweet little puppy dogs
kitty-cats? Yes, they do. They dash
of their ponds and gobble up ik !
sweet little pets.
So tell your mommy and daddy 1
you don’t want them to take vacao
where mean alligators gobble upli
puppies and kitties.
For those who have never been
Florida, but are thinking about it
word of caution. Don’t be deceived
those commercials showing beau'
beaches. Sure the beaches are nice.:
the commercials don’t show then
little bugs that infest the beaches!
will surely chew on your ankles.
Believe me, there are bugs all o'
that state. Big ones, little ones,!
they’re always trying to takeabiteou
your hide or trying to fly upyournt®
And snakes. Ech! You go walking
the rough, looking for a lost golf
and you never know when you are
to confront some terrible, ferocious
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The C
As long as our traditions are exam
ined for their true worth they are an as
set to A&M. But when people turn to
them to comfort their fear of change,
our traditions become a liability. Then
traditions are not something that makes
our school special, they are an excuse to
act irresponsibly. We do not have to be
afraid of change. A&M is not porcelain;
it is an institution. Without change there
can be no improvement. We can be cau
tious, frugal and wary, but as responsi
ble, caring people, we cannot afford to
be afraid.
There’s more. It turns out that Chi
cagoans are orange juice freaks. The
average Chicagoan drinks 10 percent
more orange juice than other Ameri
cans.
It recently said: “St. Petersburg
Wants Chicago’s White Sox! So . . . let’s
send them some.
In one year, we consume about 31
million gallons of orange juice, about 75
percent from Florida.. We spend about
$80 million on Florida oranges. Add
another $10 million for grapefruit
juice.
“It urged people to dig into a drawer,
pull out a white sock, and mail it to
Mayor Rober Ulrich of St. Petersburg.
Within days, he will be buried under old
sweat socks.
So take a vacation somewhere:
This is a big, grand nation, with wow
ful places to visit. Why help enrii
bunch of team-snatching ingrates?
As for orange juice, try to bio
stuff from California. It’s just as go
your store doesn’t stock it, demand!
they do. Or you might considerdrinf
less juice and taking a vitamin pi
stead.
The 1
to pr
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But more can and should be done.
Chicago must hit Florida where it hurts
— in their bottom line.
Obviously, we’re good customers for
Florida, an important part of their
economy.
Jill Webb is a senior secondary education major
and columnist forThe Battalion.
We even import a considerable quan
tity of their cocaine, although Florida
tourist officials don’t provide precise
So I’ve called upon Chicagoans, and
any others who might be sympathetic to
this cause: If you are planning a vaca
tion in Florida, why not consider going
somewhere else?
Finally, if you want to send thv
message, tear this column out, stl
into an envelope, and send it alotj
the Governor’s Office, Tallahassee/
‘California, for example. That state
You might want to enclose a note?
ing: “Dear Florida Guv: Steal Chid
team and you’ve seen the last of
money. By the way, I hope a snakei
you.”
Copyright 1988, Tribune Media Services, In*
Mai'
with
elig:
Fr©€
Unic
min
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BLOOM COUNTY
by Berke Breath*
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