Page 2AThe Battalion/Wednesday, June 8, 1988
Opinion
Freshmen, harken to these helpful hint$A£
Summer school
at Texas A&M is a
time for many to
begin their first se
mester of college
life. These first
timers are bom
barded with infor
mation on how to
be a good student
and how to live
properly at col-
lege.
If the weather channel shows clouds
building in California you had better
stay away from class. Storm fronts move
fast and you don’t want to get caught in
the rain.
Richard
Williams
Rule #2: Never buy books for a class
until the day before the test. The money
you would have spent on books at the
beginning of the semester can be put to
better use now. Parties can be consid
ered a better use.
When I arrived at A&M I decided to
forget the information and forge my
own path. My path probably won’t get
you into to law school, but it promises to
provide you with a load of fun. (Unless
you flunk out and suffer the wrath of
the upset parent.)
Richard’s rule #1: Never go to class
when the weather is bad. Temperatures
above 90 and below 70 are definite signs
of bad weather. Another sure sign of
bad weather can be found on the
Weather Channel. Watch the Weather
Channel religiously.
Rule #3: Never study until the night
before a test. Following rule number
two can help you with this rule. If you
wait until the night before a test you
have cleared up much of your valuable
time for more important college matters
— parties.
Mail Call
One man, one vote
Editor:
As a concerned citizen, a former student, a veterinarian (Class of ’41) and
former staff and faculty member (1946-67) — now retired — I am adding my
view to the protest concerning the selection process for a new dean of the
College of Veterinary Medicine.
Let me say that this letter is strictly my thoughts on the situation and that
I have not been approached by any student or faculty member — on this I
will take an oath.
I understand that approximately 80 percent of the veterinary faculty are
opposed to the “selection process” for the new dean of the College of
Veterinary Medicine. I commend them for standing up and being counted.
My question to your administration is simply: why were two especially
qualified and interested veterinarians on the present college faculty bypassed
in the selection of a new dean? One applicant in particular has an outstanding
record in developing his department and a long history of service to Texas
A&M. He is known well for his accomplishments and has an outstanding
record of working with scientific and administrative people both inside and
outside of A&M.
Texas A&M graduates have long distinguished themselves — as the
public knows — the world over in all walks of life. Why cannot they serve
their alma mater if they are distinguished? It seems to me that distinguished
A&M graduates — especially veterinarians — now days are “prophets
without honor in their own country.”
I hope this matter of dean selection, besides being of great concern to the
veterinary faculty, is of concern to other A&M faculties as well as to Texas
veterinarians and former A&M graduates.
I understand that the faculty of the Texas A&M College of Medincine has
a strong voice in the selection of their dean — so I can’t understand why the
same rule doesn’t apply to the College of Veterinary Medicine.
Ted E. Franklin D.V.M., M.S.
Dine not, tithe not
EDITOR:
When the Rudder Tower dining facility was converted to a private faculty
lounge, I felt cheated. To think a state-funded, public facility could be sealed
off from the taxpayesby self-centered civil servants made me ill. But as time
passed, I found other injustices to worry over and quit thinking about it, until
my father (Class of’44) dropped into town.
He was headed to Houston with my grandfather. Dad called my office
and asked me to meet him at the “cafeteria on top of Rudder Tower.” I
would rather have taken a “whipping with a stick” than tell him what had
happened to his long-time favorite eatery.
I really thought he was going to have another stroke! First, there was
silence on the line. Then, slowly picking up steam, he proceeded into a fine
dissertation on the evils of bureaucracy and academic excess. He touched on
everything from overpaid, underworked instructors to the eventual
deterioration of the whole system. Remember, this is from a man who was a
contemporary of the building’s namesake.
I personally am not opposed to a faculty lounge and know a lot of hard
working people at A&M, but I do miss the tower dining and wish they could
have usurped another location. But one thing is for sure: Texas A&M better
not count on my Dad’s little tithe this year.
John R. Clark ’85
Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters
for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and
must inchule the classification, address and telephone number of the writer.
The Battalion
(USPS 045 360)
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
The Battalion Editorial Board
Richard Williams, Editor
Sue Krenek, Managing Editor
Mark Nair, Opinion Page Editor
Curtis Culberson, City Editor
Becky Weisenfels,
Cindy Milton, News Editors
Anthony Wilson, Sports Editor
Jay Janner, Art Director
is important to follow the “can method
of studies.”
Hitting the books the night before the
test also gives you less time to become
more confused about the material and
should translate into better grades than
the more conventional methods urged
by A&M.
If you find it necessary to study any
earlier than rule number three allows it
The can method of studies is a secret
method of obtaining high grades used
by the professionals. First, buy at least
one case of your favorite alcoholic bev
erage. Next, sit down at a sturdy table
and begin to study. Each time you learn
a new fact or theory drink one can of
you favorite beverage.
This method gives the average col
lege student more incentive (larger cans
provide even more incentive) to learn
new and interesting things. However,
non-professionals must remember that
learning how to turn a page or highlight
a sentence does not qualify for drinking.
Rule #4: Classes that meet before 11
a.m. or after 2 p.m. are never to be
taken. It is impossible to get enough
sleep when you must get to class by 10
a.m. Sleep is very important for stu
dents. It is also impossible to maintain
the proper social life if you are in class
after 2 p.m. Without the proper social
life a student will not be a well-rounded
person.
Rule #5: Classes that meet at 11 a.m.
interfere with the watching of certain
soap operas. Watching soap operas is
important as it provides the average col
lege student with the material necessary
for intelligent conversation with mem
bers of the opposite sex. Remember, a
student with no social life is not a well-
rounded person.
Rule #6: Signing up for night classes
is a must if your social life is suffering. If
you actually go to class it will take your
mind off of the terrible suffering you’re
undergoing. The classes could also turn
into a great place to meet people who
are ready to go drink after sitting
through an hour of some class no one
wanted to take.
Rule #7: Never sign-up for a class
that a friend has said was a “blow-off
class” without first doing some serious
checking. Any class that requires read
ing, writing or thought does not qualify
as a blow-off class. You could fail those
classes.
Rule #8: Sign-up for as many blow-
off classes as possible. These classes can
raise the grade point ratio and:
you to put your time to betterustj
rule number two.
Texas A,
■linistraU
Rule #9: If you find yourself:UtJi the i
strange situation of actually firbudget, eve
class that meets these strict standji&'led apy
not despair. Richard’s rules state#"
student should not go to any ct® * ie ^ 1
special days. (A special day 1 1987 ^
classified as any day in which thtJljM Boar
rises or the water temperaturei-^uh.
pool is just right.)
Rule #10: Ask
non
■'he Colit
parents for rflp increas<
constantly. This means you will
down more often. If you flunbffl 1 ” S y S ( en
A&M you will then be able toil®
your parents by saying you didnoiSu p arl s <
enough money to buy the propt received in<
plies or attend the necessary i don of the
sessions. '
Final rule: After flunking 52^
A&M it is important to tell anyontHy c. Lar
asks ‘How is college?’ that collegevfor Budgets
be great if it wasn’t f or the classes Bid most b
Richard Williams is a senior 1
ral journalism major and editor
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How smart are today’s animals
Just ask that brainy Catfish
Newsweek mag-
azine recently
came out with a
cover story enti
tled “How smart
Are Animals?”
Pretty smart,
concluded the re
porters, who told
of chimps who
know sign lan
guage, a horse
that could count
Lewis
Grizzard
and pigeons with remarkable memories.
I wasn’t surprised to find out animals
know as much as they do because I live
with Catfish, the black Lab, whose intel
ligence often is astounding.
Even when he was a puppy, he was
bright. When he committed an indiscre
tion on my living room rug, I said to
him, sternly, “Catfish, never do that on
my living room rug again!”
Sure enough, the next time he didn’t
go on the living room rug. He went on
the rug in the den.
He also learned at a very early age
that if he kept whining, no matter how
long I ignored him, I finally would give
in and share the food on my plate with
him. He’s especially fond of pizza.
As he got older Catfish became even
smarter. He discovered that twice a
week, at approximately 6 a.m., a guy
shows up in a truck to take away my gar
bage.
After that, at the precise moment the
garbage truck drove (nto my driveway,
Catfish would come to my bed and bark
directly into my ear at a decibel level
only slightly lower than a train wreck to
awaken me to the fact a stranger was
making off with our garbage.
It is only recently Catfish stopped
doing that. Once he beard the Supreme
Court had ruled a person’s garbage is
not private, he figured why bother pro
tecting ours any longer.
Catfish’s vocabulary amazes me.
He knows the word, “go,’ for in
stance. When I say that word regardless
of context, he immediately races to the
garage and scratches on my car door.
My dog is making Earl Scheib, the fa
mous car painter, a fortune.
Catfish also knows the word, “n
Whenever I say that word,ifsas
to ignore me completely.
Catfish even knows the word,
no’s.” He hears that, he knows
pizza involved, and he drools os
trouser leg.
What Catfish also knows is hows'
to me. He does it with those eyes.
How do dogs know they can j!
thing they want if they just lookai
with those sad, loving eyes tha
“What about me?” and plead, 1
don’t go.”
Catfish does it to me when 1
him. Those eyes.
“I’ve got to go. It’s business."
Those eyes.
“OK, you can invite all yourfri
over for pizza and moon-howling
I’m gone. I’ll call Domino’s from till
port.”
It’s tough living with an animal"
smart enough to know a suckerwk
sees one.
Copyright 1988, Cowles Syndicate
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ulty or the Board of Regents.
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BLOOM COUNTY
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