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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 10, 1988)
Page 2/The Battalion/Wednesday, February 10, 1988 Opinion Creative defenses are needed to escape drug test anxiety You just can’t believe it. You were out last night at a friend’s party slamming Kami- kazis until the wee hours. You vaguely remember someone handing you a doobie about the size of an El Producto. Not wanting to of- John MacDougall fend your host, you took about 10 mega hits. Later, you woke up in broad day light face down on a smelly couch with a mindblowing headache and a severe case of Death Valley cottonmouth. Then you suddenly realized that you have an appointment for a drug test next Friday for a dream job with Cor porate America. Your future is riding on this one . . . but don’t panic — yet. Before you kiss away a high paying career, listen up. Let’s examine the facts about drug testing and consider some creative defenses that are no more un ethical than the test itself. If you think this case doesn’t apply to you, you may be mistaken. Chances are that if you plan on working for a For tune 500 company after graduation or during school as a co-op student, you will have to pass a urine test. Whether or not you have used drugs in the last two months, you should still be concerned. These tests are fraught with errors. Companies falling in the latter cat egory test for drugs mainly for public relations purposes. They want to appear to be heeding Nancy Reagan’s call to arms, but aren’t willing to take extreme measures such as on-the-job testing due to the probability of ferreting out top executives and alienating worker bees. Their procedures for screening new ap plicants are characterized by unmoni tored, offsite testing. For example, let’s say Corporate America is interested in interviewing you. It sends you a form in the mail asking what over-the-counter and/or pre scribed medicines you have consumed in the last couple months. You fill out the form and take it to a local clinic where a sour-faced nurse gives you a plastic cup and points you in the direc tion of the restroom. You fill it to the brim and return it to Nurse Cratchet, who seals the cup and Fed Exes it to a laboratory in Timbuktu. Recreational drug users suffering from piss test anxiety should consider whether to interview with these compa nies. Problems arise when you have to take a monitored test for companies that are serious about drug use. In this case, the best defense is overconsumption. Many medicines that can be purchased at the local drug store screw up drug tests. They include Contact, Sudafed, Bron- kaid, Datril, diet pills and other decong estants. Some mask the presence of drugs while others imitate them. Of course, this would be disastrous were it not for the pre-screening form you fill out before the test. Although it is not recommended, you could eat these medications in the days before a drug test. Be sure to put down everything you took on the form. Mail Call Catch a clue, comrade EDITOR: In response to Brian Petruskie’s letter: Yeah! That would be realneatto stop helping Israel with its problems such as rioting, crazed Palestinian! pouring down the street trying to run over a small group of Israeli soldier! standing on a street corner. You’re right! Let’s let the communists walk right on in and take the strongest countr)in the Middle East away from us. That would be just ducky! And while we’reai it, let’s let the communist slime ooze up through Central America. Then in stead of going to Mexico to get Corona, we could get premium vodka. Catdia Isaid tha clue, comrade! Think about what you are saying. But then again, ifeven-H 118 be body else doesn’t mind their kids speaking Russian instead of English, then■ ^ ie why should I? Get the picture? . ; B^aid Shannon Bower ’90 their r M i ■■ii.— .IStates. 1 fcapai cally th; its top banking the Bur A&.M. aul side! It is rumored that urine tainted by numerous over-the-counter medica tions makes drug tests inconclusive. Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reservt s the right ttuStltk phen W< for style and length, but will make ex’ery effort to maintain the author's intent. Each letter must be sipitlx i Knud must include the classif ication, address and telephone number of the writer. ii Jice a Sink in ■ Knud injernat giperiei ps wit! “We I id lie fterms o! If you are uncertain about how clean your system is, you have the option of getting your own urine tested at a clinic or hospital. The procedure will cost you about $25 and may save you a great deal of grief. We should have Englisli as our “official” language Two basic screening procedures are used to determine whether an appli cant’s urine is tainted. The first one is the highly inaccurate, inexpensive EMIT procedure, which has about a 95 percent accuracy rate. This means that for every million tests administered, there are about 50,000 false positives, which translates into a population about the size of College Station pounding the pavement looking for another job. A second, much more conclusive test is used by a handful of companies. Un fortunately the test is expensive enough to discourage companies from double checking positive results from the cheaper procedure. Included in the major corporations requiring testing are virtually all major defense contractors that recruit heavily at Texas A&M. There are two major categories of companies testing for drugs — those that are serious and those that aren’t. However, if you have an upcoming interview and you are unsure about passing the test, there is hope. The tests tend to be oversensitive to marijuana and less sensitive to more serious drugs such as cocaine. Some test manufactur ers claim they can detect traces of mari juana, which is stored in the fatty tissues of the body, a full two months after con sumption. Cocaine, on the other hand, dissipates in less than 48 hours. So if you’ve been doing coke, you’ll probably pass the test. If you’ve smoked pot recently and badly need a job, there are several meth ods of “faking” a test. Several opportunists are marketing “clean” urine through the mail. In fact, the hottest export from Austin these days is certified, drug-free, freeze-dried piss. Mix it with water and you’ve got yourself a sample. But beware; if you are planning to smuggle a urine sample into a restroom at a clinic, make sure that when you come out your cup runneth over with piping hot urine. If you’ve ever had the pleasure to pee in a cup, you know that urine is about 98 degrees Fahrenheit. The nurse knows it, too. If you plan to use someone else’s pee, get character references or recruit a lo cal Bible thumper for a sample. But the best defense against the drug test is abstinence. A job that really means the world to you makes it worth staying away from pot or other drugs for at least two months. Keep in mind that a company’s drug policy may be an indication of a negative “corporate cul ture.” So if it really irks you that Cor porate America requires you to pee in a plastic cup, then maybe you don’t be long there. The increasing number of func tional illiterates continues to be a problem in Amer ica today. The number now stands at about 29 million. It eventually costs our Ameri- the marl Knud ^Hars he “Offdi' We Ricardo Davis Guest Columnist with Jap his re What does this mean? English" measure states that En| would be the only language useds J|' u . ( communications between the States| met hii Texas and the people. English would the language of all civil govemra functions and actions, except in emergency situations. An all out battle exists in the job mar ket nowadays. When President Reagan declared war on drugs he also indirectly declared war on privacy in the work place. Unfortunately, workers in the private sector don’t have the same pro tection as government employees who are shielded by the Bill of Rights. can society people who would otherwise be able to take part in every aspect of American life. In America’s past, when this country opened its arms to peoples from all over the world, all were given the opportunity to start a new life in a new land. Our country’s history is re plete with peoples who came and pros pered because they were willing to learn, work, and serve. The amalgama tion process of the “American melting pot” included learning the language of the land. And there were ample oppor tunities since private and public schools were available. Knud its tconc n lear try at a J 50 other nadia Amer know ho whether This does not mean “Englishonlf that only English would be learned spoken in the state. “Official Ene! would not prohibit the use of other kB 1 ^ 01 guages in everyday life, such as in home or in activities supported at pH Knud; vate expense. And public schools q have dill continue to teach other language! j an «e b; foreign languages. ptronges h * * ■ “ Th( T pll own < This also means various ” groups will not be segregated in m that U.S. public schools because they speak other language. Non-English speakiij peoples will not be manipulated b agencies that “interpret” informationti their language. tough, t] illows tl Drug testing raises serious ethical problems in business today. As a grad uating student looking for employment, you might have to resort to drastic mea sures to counter a potential employer’s intrusion on your private domain. As a non-drug user, you may be victimized by a system designed to weed out unde sirable workers. Today, many organizations are work ing to have English established as the of ficial language used by the government of the United States; indeed, thirteen states have already approved such mea sures. Since this issue is hotly debated in this state, I decided to investigate. John MacDougall is a graduate student and a columnist for The Battalion. I spoke with Lou Zaeske, founder and chairman of the American Ethnic Coalition, who has taken the lead to have English established as the official language in Texas. I requested an “Offi cial English” petition for an in depth analysis. Roy Ontiveros, executive vice-i man of the American Ethnic Coalitiot is disturbed by negative comments “Official English” by Governor Cle ents and other bureaucrats. Mr. Ontitt ros is offended by this patronizing'- Hispanic Americans and commend “It is very offensive to us — the An® can individual with a Spanish surnai — for him (Clements) to indicate tlni you need a pamphlet in English and send me one in Spanish because I'nisiii pid enough not to read in English.” The petition acknowledges the fol lowing: (1) the people of the United States brought to this nation the ethnic heritages of many nations; (2) the United States has been greatly enriched by such cultural diversity and recognizes the dignity of all ethnic heritages that form our society; (3) The people of our country must continue to live together harmoniously and productively as citi zens of one nation; (4) The traditional language of the United States has always been English, a knowledge of which is essential to the full exercise of constitu tional freedoms, civic responsibilities, individual prosperity and indepen dence; (5) the English language has been our strongest bond to one another as fellow citizens and has contributed substantially to national unity and socie tal cohesiveness; and (6) English is our language by custom only and enjoys no legal protection as the official language of the State of Texas and the United States, and recent policies have unwisely granted recognition to rival languages that threaten to undermine the status of English as the language of the civil gov ernment. Ruben Bonilla, director of the can American Democrats said, “ARam study shows 90 percent of first genet)- tion Hispanic Americans are proficifS in English and half of that groups English exclusively. We all recognized need to speak English in order vance.” The state of California agree; for, although it has a panic population, it has enacted “I cial English” legislation. The Republican Party of Texas ist be lauded in allowing an “OfficialEnf lish” referendum on the balloto* March 8. Democrat voters, esf minorities, should let the Democri Party of Texas and their representati'® know the importance and benefits “Official English.” Establishing English as the language will help curb discriminate and segregation and reduce the penses of many areas of civil goveti jj ment (not to mention printing and ni2 power costs). People in public educatit should especially extol “Official Enj lish” to help further their mission stamp out illiteracy and train students^ be effective in our society. Ricardo Davis is a graduate student' chemistry. The Battalion (USPS 045 360) Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference The Battalion Editorial Board Sue Krenek, Editor Daniel A. LaBry, Managing Editor Mark Nair, Opinion Page Editor Amy Couvillon, City Editor Robbyn L. Lister and Becky Weisenfels, News Editors Loyd Brumfield, Sports Editor Sam B. Myers, Photo Editor Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspa per operated as a community service to Texas A&M and Bryan-College Station. Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the editorial board or the author, and do not necessarily rep resent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, fac ulty or the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography classes within the Department of Journalism. 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