Page 2/The Battalion/Wednesday, January 6, 1988
Opinion
The Battalion
(USPS 045 360)
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
The Battalion Editorial Board
Sue Krenek, Editor
Daniel A. LaBry, Managing Editor
Mark Nair, Opinion Page Editor
Amy Couvillon, City Editor
Robbyn L. Lister and Becky Weisenfels,
News Editors
Loyd Brumfield, Sports Editor
Sam B. Myers, Photo Editor
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100% Cotton
They weren’t supposed to be there, but they were. They
weren’t supposed to win it, but they did. In convincing fashion
too.
The Texas A&rM football team proved once again it deserves
national respect with a sound 35-10 thrashing of national pow
erhouse Notre Dame in the Cotton Bowl in Dallas on New Year’s
Day.
The young Aggies ignored the hype surrounding the Irish
and their Heisman Trophy winner Tim Brown while managing
to put them away with uncanny ease.
If last Friday’s win is any indication, A&:M should reach even
greater heights next season, and the Aggies’ conquest of the Ir
ish should serve warning to the Southwest Conference and the
rest of the nation that the best is yet to come.
— The Battalion Editorial Board
COVGRATS ^
WHoLE TFAM m 1
ASQtES FI/TflUte 1
The Second Coming:
Only in Independence
Wh^re have all the
video games gone?
I N D E P E N -
DENCE, MO. —
Before visiting this
town on the out
skirts of the me-
- tropolis of Kansas
- City, all I knew
- about it was it’s
- give-’em-hell
Harry Truman’s
home town.
The T r u ny a.n
home and library
Lewis
Grizzard
and museum all are located here and I
wish we had a man of Harry’s strength
and character running for president to
day. At least we can dream.
But I learned something else about
Independence that will take a little ex
plaining.
There are at least two religious sects
here (there may be even more; you
know how religious groups can bolt and
run off on their own) who believe that
Independence, Mo., is where the return
of Jesus Christ to Earth will take place.
Let me repeat that: They think Inde
pendence is where Christ is going to
land when he descends from the heav-
One group is the Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). The
Mormons. The other is the Reorganized
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints (RLDS), and please don’t ask me
to explain that. It’s more confusing than
a PTL bankruptcy hearing.
A local reporter attempted to explain
what the LDS and RLDS think is going
to happen one of these days:
“Their founder and prophet Joseph
Smith, Jr. determined Independence as
the City of Zion and this is where Christ
is supposed to return according to their
beliefs.
“I think they even have a garden
picked out as the exact location of the
Second Coming.”
The LDS Center and the RLDS
World Headquarters Auditorium are lo
cated next door to one another.
The LDS building includes a huge
mural depicting Christ descending from
the clouds. I seem to remember he was
wearing wings.
The RLDS World Headquarters Au
ditorium, which seats 6,000, has a huge,
lighted dome on its top so if anybody
did want to land in Independence he
would have a large target.
I’m by no means making fun of these
people’s beliefs. I have no idea who’s
right, so I try to learn a little about it all.
My basic instinct as a newsperson, I
suppose, also keyed my interest here.
I went over to the RLDS auditorium
and a nice lady named Stephanie Kelly
showed me around.
During my tour, I thought to myself,
what if the big event occurs today ? I’ll be
on the scene and might even scoop
Jimmy Swaggart. A Pulitzer, I am cer
tain, would follow.
I took some preparatory notes:
— There is ample parking across the
street from the RLDS auditorium in
case a major news story broke nearby.
— The auditorium itself would be an
ideal spot for the judging. Quick on the
left, dead on the right, and fooling
around on your spouse does count.
— In case Gabriel also plays the or
gan, the biggest one I’ve ever seen is in
the auditorium.
I hung around Independence as long
as I could in case something might hap
pen. Nothing did, so I left to catch a
plane to Cleveland.
Bad timing has been the story of my
life.
Copyright 1987, Cowles Syndicate
During the
Christmas holi
days, I took my
little sister, Eliza
beth, to a movie in
Houston. I’m sup
posedly going to
receive a bache
lor’s degree from
this institution of
higher learning in
five months, and I
usually consider
Amy
Couvillon
games have changed quite a bit since my
hang-out-at-the-mall generation. There
were nine video games in the theater
lobby and not a Pac-Man among them.
Not a Donkey-Kong. Dig-Dug or Centi
pede in sight. They were all shoot-’em-
up, cut-'em-up, nuke ’em games with
names I had never heard before. I
never knew video games could be so vio
lent.
cartoons slightly below me. But after a
brain-killing semester of work, studying
and research papers, an afternoon of
accompanying a 9-year-old to a screen
ing of “Pinocchio and the Emperor of
the Night” sounded pretty entertaining.
After shelling out much too much for
tickets, buying the obligatory popcorn
and red licorice and figuring out which
of the 14 theaters our movie was in, we
still had time to hang around the lobby
and play video games.
Yes, video games. I haven’t played a
good video game since I was in junior
high school and we all used to hang out
at shopping malls. I was all excited, re
ady to eat ghosts, jump barrels, deflect
astroids and pump air into those little
“Dig-Dug” monsters.
But, as I was soon to find out, video
Starting up the lineup was Contra,
where the player is a camouflaged sol
dier running through the jungle, mow
ing down his opponents. Apparently,
points are scored when the player
shoots and kills each man encounted on
the screen. Guerrilla War (also set in a
jungle) and Time Soldiers were simi
larly replete with guns and blood. In
Sky Shark, the player operates a bullet-
spewing helicopter that enters a war
zone, Rambo-like, to rescue prisoners of
war.
Double Dragon gamearela::|
"Jump" “Punch" and “Kick.” \V¥.|
player beats his electronic opp®
into submission, the fighter ngia
shown carrying off a girl over his-I
der like a prize. Real classy, guys.
Operation Wolf, one of the
popular games, has a toy machine I*
mounted on the front of it iha;|
player holds instead of a joystick.I
parently. the object of this one 1
shoot clown the people on the scl
who are aiming guns at you—bef
thev shoot y ou down, that is.
Is this where game technolofl
going these days, where vicariousj|
hed are the prefell
For those into medieval violence,
there were Rastan and Gauntlet, whic h
feature bloody arrows, swords and axes.
For just a quarter you can slash, chop
and mutilate people to your heart’s con
tent.
lence and blood
form of entertainment? It’sHotrol
know. It’s supposed to be harmless:,
like* paint pellet guns and waterpist
Still, something ahont this‘‘kill,if
mentality bothers me, especially
these kind of games are theflnlyoj
available. Personally, I don’t getaii
out of pulling a plastic trigger
watching a c haracter on a videosa|
ant
In Double Dragon and fkari War
riors, the player is a street fighter in a
big-city gang situation. Buttons on the
Amy Couvillon is a senior journt
major, city editor and column^
The Battalion.
A month-by-month view of 1988
Mail Call
Street pinball
EDITOR:
As a bicyclist I have a few things to say to Bob Wiatt and the local
motorists. Is there some intrinsic trait in automobile drivers that makes them
inconsiderate and homicidal? When I ride my bicycle I obey the traffic laws
and am considerate of others, pedestrian or otherwise. Foolishly, I expect the
same of others. I’ve lost count of the number of times people have almost hit
me at the intersection near the MSC, have entered or exited parking lots by
cutting directly in front of me, and have floored their accelerators to beat me
to an intersection 50 feet away. Whether these actions are illegal or
inconsiderate is not the point. The point is that they are damned dangerous!
In any collision with an automobile I’m not going to enjoy the better half of
the results.
What action is being taken by Sergeant Bob and the University’s finest to
keep me from becoming a participant in a street pinball game? Nothing.
Twice I’ve nearly been hit by motorists ignoring my right-of-way while police
officers were standing less than 30 feet away. What did they do? Nothing.
I really hate to inconvenience Bob and the motorists by requesting that
they respectively enforce and obey traffic laws when there are so many more
important things to do. But survival is a prerequisite for graduation.
Steven K. Baum
grad student
Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters
for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and
must include the classification, address and telephone number of the writer.
I am about to
tell you what will
happen next year.
So if you want
next year to be a
surprise, better
stop reading now.
Here is the year
that will be, by the
month:
JANUARY —
President Reagan
delivers his State
of vote. Edwin Newman is
Donald
Kaul
of the Union address and makes only
one mistake; he calls Nancy “Jane”-
. . . Vice President George Bush lays
to rest his wimp image by punching out
Pierre (Pete) DuPont during a televised
debate after a heated exchanged on So
cial Security . . . Gary Hart appears at
the Democratic debate wearing a paper
bag on his head. Analysts agree he is the
easy winner, if a little hard to under
stand ... The stock market drops
100 points on news that the dollar is fall-
64 percent
winner.
MARCH — Stock market gains 120
points on news of falling dolla-
r . . . On “Super Tuesday” each Dem
ocratic candidate, including Mario
Cuomo, Sam Nunn and Paul Simon the
singer, wins a state . . . President Rea
gan holds his first news conference in
five months. He is wearing pajamas.
APRIL — Iran attacks a Kuwaiti ship
flying an American flag. T he United
States responds by sinking a Greek ship
flying an Iranian flag. Greece protests
to the U.N., which condemns Israel-
. . . George Steinbrenner fires New
York Yankee manager Billy Martin af
ter opening-day loss, says he will man
age the team itself.
MAY — Sen. Robert Dole takes lead
in Republican presidential race after
George Bush rabbit-punches Pierre
(Pete) DuPont during a joint appear
ing.
FEBRUARY
Gary Hart is the sur
prise winner of the Iowa caucuses with
11 percent of the vote. All other candi
dates get 10 percent, including unan
nounced candidates Mario Cuomo, Sam
Nunn and Paul Simon the singer. All
Democratic candidates show up for the
New Hampshire debates wearing bags
on their heads, causing moderator Ed-
w r in Newman to burst into tea
rs... Pierre (Pete) DuPont chal
lenges George Bush to duel in New
Hampshire debate and is wrestled to
ground by Bush’s secret service men-
. . . Congress votes $50 million in hu
manitarian aid to contras, who immedi
ately attack retirement village in
Nicaragua. They are beaten back-
. . . Gov. Mike Dukakis is surprise
loser in New Hampshire primary with
ance and draws charges that he is too
macho.
JUNE — Sandra Day O’Conner an
nounces she is “a man trapped in a
woman’s body” and will no longer make
the coffee at sessions of the Supreme
Court . . . The dollar falls on news of
a rising stock market . . . Joe Biden
becomes the first Biden in a thousand
generations to quit politics and take a
job in a coal mine.
JULY — President Reagan goes to
Russia for a summit meeting and trades
away Alaska for a bag of brightly col
ored beans . . . The Democrats pick a
nominee: Paul Simon the singer-
. . . Congress votes $100 million in
humanitarian aid to contras, who imme
diately attack Honduras. They are
beaten back.
AUGUST —Jessica Hahn reveals she
was once lured to a motel roomb'
Mormon Tabernacle Choir and for
to perform a cappella . . . Minnr
Twins win game on the road for
time, take over first place in Amen
League West . . . Republican
tional Convention, deadlocked be'
George Bush, Robert Dole, Jack fe
and Pat Robertson, chooses a conf
mise candidate: Mario Cuomo.
SEPTEMBER — President Re*
names Robert Bork to the Supn
Court. When told he tried thatonct
angrily turns over his bowl . . . Sri'
ter Stallone announces he will re®
“Gone with the Wind,” taking the
of Vivian Leigh. He will call theff
“Rocky V, World 0.”
OCTOBER — The dollar falls
news of a falling stock marl
. . . George Steinbrenner fires If
self and hires Billy Martin on the
day of the season . . . The Minne
Twins become first team to win bad'
back World Series mainly withyellini
NOVEMBER — Iran attacks ant
ship flying an American flag borrO'
from Kuwait. The United States
sponds by borrowing an Americans'
from Saudi Arabia, hoisting an Ira®
flag over it, then sinking it, causing
U.N. to sanction Israel . . . Pit'
(Pete) DuPont is elected president of
United States in a write-in vote,
exiles George Bush.
DECEMBER — In his final pressf
ference, President Reagan blesses
White House press corps and makes
members cardinals . . . Mario Cuo
denies he was ever a candidate for
presidency . . . The dollar falls
news that the stock market has
town . . . 4’he contras attack0
gress. I he are beaten back.
Happy New Year.
Copyright 1987, Tribune Media Services, In 1
>
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writhe and scream in an agoniM
death. Especially when I’m abouttcl
watch Pinocchio.
twi
me
bei
Ac
sai
he
to
CUi
Ca
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