Page 2/The Battalion/Tuesday, November 17, 1987
Opinion
Moral absolutes are absolutely right
Walking across
campus one day, I
was apprehended
by a well-wisher.
“You are truly
despicable for car
ing so little about
individual rights, ”
he charged. “Your
columns stink.”
“Well, perhaps
can you explain to
me what a ‘right’
is,” I said soothingly, “and correct my
misconceptions.
Brian
Frederick
‘That’s easy,” he answered. “Every
body knows what rights are.”
“Great! You’re just the man I’ve been
looking for. Since you understand
rights so well, surely you will be able to
define them and give me some exam-
pies.” ^
“OK. Uh ... a right, you know, is
something we, ah, have by virtue of our
humanity.”
“Something like mortality, perhaps?”
“No! No! Not that at all! A right is
something . . uh . . like, everyone has a
right to life.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, uh, you know, that every
one deserves to have a full, comfortable
life that no one can take away from
him.”
“Do you mean that your right to life
forbids that I deprive you of your life,
even if I would like to?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“So a right, then, is moral in nature, a
moral absolute. One may never violate it
without inning against humanity.”
“You ve got it, and by that definition,
you are a big sinner.”
“Well, once you have shown me what
rights are, I can be sure not to violate
them. Now tell me: is something like ho
mosexuality wrong?”
“You’re hopelessly old-fashioned if
you persist in viewing things in black
and white terms,” he snickered.“You can
personally believe that homosexuality is
wrong for yourself but cannot flatly
state that it is wrong for everone else,
too.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Surely it is a
perversion of nature of which we should
heartily disapprove.”
“You are a fossil. Don’t you know that
everything, including right and wrong,
is relative?”
“I don’t understand how that makes
homosexuality right,” I demurred. His
expression warned me that I was se
verely trying his patience.
“It has been proven,” he began in a
deprecating voice, “that there is no re
vealed truth, and no absolutes. Every
one has to make his own moral choices
and cannot make them for others.”
fuse me.”
“Well, uh . . . you know, rights aren’t
really absolute in the, uh, strictest sense
of the word . ..”
“On what, then, do you base a stable
society if rights are not absolute? If ev
eryone chooses for himself what is right
and wrong, anarchy will prevail, and no
body will be secure.”
“You are mistaken in assuming that
rights must be absolute in order to have
a stable society,” he answered smugly.
“Each society chooses standards by
which to govern itself. These standards
are a product in part of historical condi
tions. Thus, what is right for one society
at one time may be wrong for another at
another time. Anarchy does not nec
essarily follow.”
“So individuals within a society are
not completely free to choose to do
whatever they want?”
“No, of course not. Society establishes
certain limits to preserve stability.”
“Well, you certainly have answered
that question convincingly,” I admitted.
“Now you know why your pomposity
in thinking you know what’s right is so
reprehensible,” he declared tri
umphantly.
“Tell me something,” I said. “What
do you think of Hitler?”
“He was as bad as they come, though
you’re trying.”
“Why was he so bad?”
“How can you ask that about a man
who killed over six million people?
Sanctioned cruel experiments on hu
man guinea pigs? Made lampshades of
human skin?!” he gasped.
“What’s so wrong with that? You told
me that each society was free to choose
its own standards. Germany chose Hit
ler and his program, which defined
such actions as moral. How can you find
fault with that?”
“Do you dare to defend Hitler is such
fashion? You really must be a Nazi!”
“Based on what you’ve said, I should
be asking you how you presume to pass
judgment on another society,” I said.
“In order to pass such judgment, you
must have an absolute standard by
which to judge, and such a standard you
have claimed does not exist.”
“It’s no use talking to you,” he fumed.
“You are more closed-minded and intol
erant than I thought!”
“If
you think I’m intolerant, it's
good thing you haven’t read the Di
ration of Independence lately. Y(
would find it so full of offensive al
lutes that you would probably want
rewrite it. Perhaps you could begin, 1
consider these guidelines to be relar t j‘ t
and open to question .
“Don’t you think you’re taking this
little too far?” he shouted. “After
you are the one who threatens
rights with your extremist malarkey!
I sighed. “1 thought maybe youcoi
teach me something new, but all«
have done is convince me that your
ception of rights is flawed. Ifyouriil Foi
tern of morality grants a Hitler fn Sui
reign, I want no part of it. It seems! 1
me that only absolute truths provide ^
firm basis for securing our lives, libe
ties, and property f rom those wl
would prey on them.”
He soon fled, claiming he waslateli
class, leaving me to continue wonder.: —
how my traditional view of right ai
wrong merited the label “Nazi."
ver
mo
the
Brian Frederick is a senior history b
Russian major and a columnist forlt
Battalion.
“Wait a minute,” I cried. “You
agreed earlier that a right was a moral
absolute, and now you say there are no
absolutes. Surely you are trying to con-
Mail Call
Super satire
EDITOR:
We must congratulate Brian Frederick for his pithy satire ol American
right-wingjournalism. He’s captured the style well. He takes a pr mise such
as “adversity builds character” and then finds examples we can ali relate to,
i.e. “Don’t try to help the poor butterfly or it will never fly,” “I’m proud of
that C,” and “The Corps develops character.”
Then, just when you expect the usual Ward Cleaver moral-to-the-story,
he takes the premise one step further into the ridiculous: “By voting all sorts
of government assistance we murder the potential of the poverty-stricken
masses for accomplishment.” -***
Some of our friends don’t recognize Mr. Frederick’s sharp wit. They ask,
“How can he be so stupid?” or “What kind of parallel is that?” We tell them he
is obviously an aspiring artist in the TRADITION of Karl Pallmeyer.
Ed B. Calvin ’88
Frank J. Hobbs ’88
Continuing chaos
EDITOR:
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the A&M transportation
department for totally screwing up the motorcycle/moped parking near
Zachry. Not only did you limit the number of available spaces, but you also
failed to provide an additional parking area. The complete chaos that existed
there before still exists. Only now, the campus police have an excuse to write
more tickets. Seems to me that our institution of finer learning is out to make
some bucks.
Would it have been so hard to add a few more spaces near the bike racks?
And gee, with the additional parking more revenue could be raised by selling
parking stickers. You know, M—O—N—E—Y! A little more thinking on
your part would save many of us from the hassle that has been created.
Sean Phillips ’90
Required reading?
EDITOR:
My compliments to Brian Frederick! Not only has he demonstrated a
most perceptive and poignant insight into the key issues which limit the
educational potential of the typical undergraduate, his writing illustrates a
remarkable ability to get directly to the heart of the problem in a clear and
effective manner. His columns should be required reading in all students —
especially freshmen.
Ron Darby
professor of chemical engineering
Blatant disrespect
EDITOR:
I was a guest at the Krueger Formal at the MSG Ballroom Nov. 7.1 was
shocked by the blatant disrespect shown the traditions of the MSC. Two CT’s
attended the formal in non-regs and wearing their cowboy hats. This
inexcusable action was condoned by a senior in boots and a junior in
midnights. Rather than cause a scene with their “buddies,” they let them
desecrate the memory of fellow Aggies who were better men than this group
of CT’s could ever hope to be. The Corps of Cadets at A&M is supposed to be
the keeper of the traditions of the University. I think that they have forgotten
that fact!
Sam Hendricks ’86
Letters to the editor should not exceed300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters
for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and
must include the classification, address and telephone number of the writer.
G
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dkadidary
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THANK VOU.
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SMOKING!
■rtr
'JUDGE KENNEDYi
1
1
Computer anxiety can make you
feel like MUTILATING something
A University of
Connecticut study
has indicated that
at least 25 percent
of the population
suffers from
something known
as computer anxi
ety.
Put simply, the
results of the
study mean that
25 percent of us
Lewis
Grizzard
feel like throwing up every time we hear
about or are confronted with comput
ers.
Why is this? The .study answered that
as well.
It said computer phobia is caused by a
number of things, such as the fear that
computers might take one’s job, the fear
that a person might not be able to learn
to operate the computer successfully
and even the fear of somehow breaking
one of the expensive mechanisms.
I suppose my friends and colleagues
would find out sooner or later anyway,
so I might as well go ahead and admit I
am afflicted with computer anxiety my
self.
I do all my work on a 1959 model
manual typewriter. It won’t do anything
but type words on a sheet of paper, but
that’s all I need it to do.
“But with a word processor,” people
say to me, “you can store information,
edit your copy right there on screen,
blah, blah, blah.”
Yeah, and I could faint and break out
in a painful rash, too.
I’m not certain when I first developed
computer anxiety. Perhaps it goes back
to my freshman year in college. At regis
tration they handed me a computer
card for each class I selected.
On each card were the ominous
words DO NOT BEND, FOLD, STA
PLE, SPINDLE OR MUTILATE.
The card didn’t say what would hap
pen to me if I BENT, FOLDED, STA
PLED, SPINDLED OR MUTILATED
them, but the inference was that if I did
somehow commit one or more of those
transgressions against a card, a harsh
and swift penalty would be forthcom
ing.
I maintained a constant vigil over my
cards, but one of my fellow students got
strawberry jam on one of his. We never
were quite certain what happened to
him, but rumor circulated he was taken
to a vacant warehouse and flogged with
blackboard erasers.
All those of us with computer anxief
ask is that you try to understand us
Don’t say things that might hurtoH
feelings, such as referring to us *
“backward” or “stupid” or “stubborn’ o
“air-brained boobs.” We prefer to In
called the “technically impaired.”
Also, do not talk about computet
when you are around us. We often tun
violent when we tire of computer cot
versation, and we start looking arouiit
for somebody or something to
FOLD, STAPLE, SPINDLE, OR
TILATE.
BLOOM COUNTY
by BerKe Breathed
The Battalion
(USPS 045 360)
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
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Sondra Pickard, Editor
John Jarvis, Managing Editor
Sue Krenek, Opinion Page Editor
Rodney Rather, City Editor
Robbyn Lister, News Editor
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Tracy Staton, Photo Editor
ated
tion.
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\dv<
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mp. m\e tv Ffice
we post- MLe sweer-
S\, CRASH
^ REALITIES.
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I
NOW... FOR INSTANCE...HOW
tvHOHT this err of News
AFFECT OUR PLANS TO
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SUMMER ?
MY OOP. WERE COINS
TV HAVeW SETTLE,
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350 MASS IN
BABY,.
If people who like and understart
computers and those of us who despiS
them don’t learn to coexist, then wM
very well might result is two separate $0
cieties, computer persons in one ant
technically impaired in the other.
I would hate to see it come to that, m
those of us in the minority on this issuij
must stand firm and alert our detractorf
that we have no desire to be arount
computers or to have computers in
fringe upon our lives any further that
they already have.
And you can bet your floppy disko 1
it.
#
Copyright 1987, Cowles Syndicate