Page 2/The Battalion/Monday, November 16, 1987
■■
Opinion
K ln Search Of’ a quiet place in the library‘[
“OK, everyone
ready? We’ll start
with a fade-in
from black, focus
on the library
doors, and then
center in on Leon
ard standing here
by the garbage
can. Ready. On
three. One . . . two
.. . three, take it.”
The taping be
gins.
“Good evening.
Mark
Nair
I’m Leonard Nimoy
and this is ‘In Search Of . . .’ Tonight,
we take you to one of the farthest
reaches of human imagination, to one
of the deepest mysteries in existence.
We are here, on the Texas A&M Uni
versity campus to find out if the legend
ary tales of a hidden, quiet study area in
the Sterling C. Evans library are true. Is
there, as many believe, a secret, se
cluded spot where one can study with
out interruption and noise? Or, like
many others believe, is this quiet area
merely a dreamy student’s nirvana that
really does not exist at all? Let us now
begin our spelunking into the realms of
the unknown, the mysterious, and the
bizarre. Let us go in search of... a quiet
place to study in the Evans Library.”
“Cut. Good, good. Take ten while we
set up the next shot. And Leonard, hit
make-up. Linda, do something with
him, will you?”
The crew sets up in the library. Many
people rush around wielding large
pieces of mechanical equipment. Linda
delicately applies powder to Leonard’s
face. Leonard is drinking black coffee.
“OK, people, OK. Let’s get to it.
Leonard, chop, chop. Come on. Let’s
g°”
Everyone rushes around.
“All right, people. Leonard? On
three. Ready? One . . . two . . . three,
take it.”
“It is rumored that the quiet place we
search for exists in what is commonly
called ‘the stacks.’ Where are these so-
called ‘stacks’? Is this area really quiet?
We interview to find out. With us is Mr.
I. M. Hick, an eighteenth year senior in
electrical engineering. Welcome, Mr.
Hick.”
“Hahdee.”
“Mr. Hick, you tell us that once, long
ago, there was actually a quiet area in
this library.”
“Yah, sir. That’s right. I got pitchers.”
“Could you show us?”
“The pitchers?”
“And the once-quiet area.”
“OK. Boy hahdee.”
Leonard accompanies Mr. Hick back
into the depths of the library. The cam
era follows.
“It was rightcha here.”
“I see, Mr. Hicks. Now, there seem to
be two smartly dressed people whis
pering here.”
“ Peo pie are always whispering
around here, nowadays. It’s the Repub
licans, I’ll tell ya. They’re responsible
for it.”
“And you have pictures?
“Yah, sir. That’s right. I got pitchers.
Here tis.”
“Well, Mr. Hick, this looks suspi
ciously like a large tree stump in the
middle of a lake.”
“Aw, shoot. Wrong pitcher. That’s
my Loch Ness Monster one. Yuck, yuck.
Here ya go.”
“Hmmmmmm, it does seem to be
quiet in this picture.”
“Don’t it though?”
“And you were around when it was
actually quiet here?”
“Sure enough. Took the pitcher,
didn’t I?”
“Strange. Is this evidence of a quiet
place in the library? We’ll find out after
this.”
Commercial.
“With us now, is the noise expert-in
residence, Dr. Quigly Shutup. Dr.
Shutup, can you tell us exactly why the
library isn’t quiet any longer?”
“Certainly. There are factions devel
oping here in the Sterling C. Evans li
brary, factions which are insidious and
evil. Factions composed of sororites and
fraternities.”
“Yes?”
“Indeed. They come to our haven of
study and talk. Some whisper, but their
whispering sounds like gas escaping
from a 747 spare tire. It’s louder than
talking in a normal voice.”
“Indeed.”
“And some talk in low, booming
tones. The floor vibrates when this hap
pens.”
“Interesting.”
“And then there are the laughers,
and sneezers, and coughers, and whee-
zers.”
‘And green eggs and ham, said Sam I
am.
“What?”
“Oh, sorry. That wasjust a little joke.”
“Humph. Anyway, Leonard, it has
come to a point now in our dwelling of
many books that there is simply no quiet
place to study any longer. It’s a place of
social gathering, not study. In fact, the
group study areas are quieter than the
quiet areas.”
“Astounding.”
“It sure is. And then, oh, get this, the
Walkman Zombies.”
“Sounds mysterious. What are they?”
“The Walkman Zombies are people
that come here to ‘study’ with their
trusty Walkmans and end up wandering
around with the music coming full blast
from those itty-bitty headphones.”
“But surely that can’t be loud.”
“Loud! Loud! Jeez, try deafening.
And those people just wander around,
or when they find a seat, just sit there
and listen to the music. I suppose they
don’t realize that the entire rest of the
floor can hear it, too.”
“I suppose not.”
“Ah, Leonard, there just isn’t any
place to study in solitude here anymore.
Oh, gosh. I’m cracking up. It’s just
much stress.”
The director is twirling his hunk
the air. It is lime to go.
“Oh, look. It is time to go. Andois
again on ‘In Search Of . . .’ we havei
termined pretty much nothing. Web
delved into the depths of mystery ai
have found nothing. We havebeensji
lunkers in the cave of the fasd
and have lost our lanterns. We havest
ven for intelligent-sounding nietapki
and have failed miserably. Until ta
week, then, this is Leonard Nimoy." !
“Cut. Good. Now . . . oh, wait a ai
ute. Leonard, are you . . . You as
aren’t you. Great. That’s just great.011
everyone, we have to do it over. Led;;
ard’s been wearing his ears again." I
The crew moans.
“Come on, chop, chop. Let’s gettr,
side. Same as last time. And Leonajf
get rid of those ears.”
“Boy, I hate this job.”
“What’d you say, Leonard?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all."
Mark Nair is a senior political scita
major and a columnist for The Bata
ion.
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Dr
surge
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Thanks for hospitality
EDITOR:
I would like to express my appreciation to all the students, parents,
alumni, and friends at Texas A&M who received the Mustang Band so
warmly Oct. 31. To be frank, I was surprised to find the hospitality so
generous and gracious.
The lunch provided was excellent, and the standing ovation at the
conclusion of our performance was more than could be asked for. A special
“thank you” to Col. Joe T. Haney and the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Band for
sharing a halftime with us when they are so capable of handling one alone.
This gesture of goodwill and sportmanship will not soon be forgotten
here on the Hilltop. I do not hope that yOur football team ever warrants a
punishment so severe as the suspension of its season, but maybe sometime in
the future “The Pride of Dallas” will be able to return your favor.
Once again, thank you for your Texas hospitality, and best wishes for
your continued success in all your endeavors.
Brian Waddle, SMU ’89
member, Mustang Band
Where's the logic?
EDITOR:
During my four—plus years here, I’ve heard many stories about the
idiotic administrative policies of Texas A&M. But I never experienced one
firsthand until now.
I attempted to register by telephone and got through the first time — this
is going to be a good day. WRONG. The computerized voice on the other
end of the line said, “You are blocked by department C-O-P-S.” The cops
were after me. I called the police station to find out why I was blocked. “Well,
John, let’s see — no unpaid parking tickets, no warrants out for your arrest
(what a relief), uh oh, John, I see why you’re blocked.” “Why?” “Incomplete
license plate number.”
“What?” “Incomplete license plate number.” “Well, can we take care of
this on the phone?” “Yes, but it will take two or three days to process. If you
come to the station we can process it immediately.” So I went to the station,
signed the appropriate list and waited for my turn. Sixty-five minutes later,
they called my name. The lady said, “All we need to do is copy your license
plate number from this form (which was from their files) to this form (also
from their files). Apparently, when I registered my scooter they neglected to
copy my license plate number from one of their forms to another.
I watched her copy the number. Then she handed me an “OFFICIAL
RELEASE OF BLOCK” and said that I was now unblocked. I said, “Excuse
me, but I’m not sure I understand what just happened here. I came down to
the station, waited over an hour, never gave you any information or even
showed you any ID. You don’t even know if I’m me for sure.” I had no idea
why I was blocked in the first place. Why couldn’t they just copy the number?
And why did I have to go to the station? The answer I got was “When this
type of thing happens, we need someone to come to the station to take care of
it in person.”
So I said “Thanks. It’s been a pleasure wasting my time here today.” If
anyone understands the logic of this, I would appreciate an explanation.
John Natowitz
Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters
for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must be signed and
must include the classification, address and telephone number of the writer.
Dealing with that ‘extra’ roommate
If one of your,
roommates has a
friend who spends
many hours or
even days in your
apartment, you ,
may be asking
yourself, “What
should I do about that ‘extra’ roomma
te?”
Erika
Gonzalez-
Lima
Guest Columnist
The most important thing to do is to
let your roommate know how you feel.
If you feel uncomfortable and as if your
home is not your own anymore, your
roommate should know it.
roommate, preferably when the extra
person is NOT around. Consider com
municating the following points:
1. The extra person disrupts the pre
vious living arrangement you and your
rommate agreed to have, creating space
and privacy problems, among others.
2. If the “extra” roommate uses the
phone, showers, washes clothes, turns
on the air conditioning or eats often,
there will be extra costs — for which
your roommate will have to compen
sate.
aii
the manager must be notified
he/she should be added to the lease.
By talking these issues over, you an
your roommates may reachJ
agreement. If you need further ase
tance in this matter, the Off Camp;
Center staff can help you.
If you have any questions about
campus living, please call or come by
Off Campus Center. We are located
Puryear Hall, across the street from
YMCA building. We are open to as!
1
you Monday through Friday, from
Find an opportunity to talk with your
BLOOM COUNTY
3. Most apartment leases contain a
clause which states that if a person stays
in an apartment more than a few days,
a.m. to 5 p.m, and our telephone nuf
ber is 845-1741.
Erika Gonzalez-Lima is a graduated
tant with the Off Campus Center.
by Berke Breath#
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Sondra Pickard, Editor
John Jarvis, Managing Editor
Sue Krenek, Opinion Page Editor
Rodney Rather, City Editor
Robbyn Lister, News Editor
Loyd Brumfield, Sports Editor
Tracy Staton, Photo Editor
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