Page 2/The Battalion/Thursday, June 11, 1987
Opinion
The Battalion
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Robert W. Rizzo, Photo Editor
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77843-411 1.
Will the real Paul
please stand up?
Sim
Punish the vandals
It won’t be long
until the 1988
Presidential
elections are upon
us. That’s too bad.
Finally, the University took action against the vandals in Davis-
Gary Hall. After nearly a year of flooding halls, burning mattresses
and scribbling on the walls, the students were reassigned to other
I dormitories.
It’s about time.
Granted, some students who were not guilty of vandalism will be
forced to move because of the irresponsibility of others. But the
innocent students are probably relieved to be rid of the pranksters —
and the bad reputation that comes with them.
Best of all, the students and taxpayers won’t have to shoulder the
f inancial burden of replacing broken windows, smoke detectors and
locks for those who were not mature enough to come forward and
pay for the damage.
But if the old saying, “One bad apple spoils the barrel,” is true,
the University could be in for more of the same. Nothing keeps the
vandals from destroying property in their new dorms, too. Perhaps
more radical action should be taken next time, something that these
young men’s childish minds can understand. Like suspension.
Or a spanking.
Unless George
Bush gets caught
on a yacht with the
Ayatollah
Khomeini’s ex
girlfriend or
something else of
a similarly
Karl
Pallmeyer
Simon would be a good president.
First of all, he has acting experience. I le
had a bit part in Woody Allen’s “Annie
Hall” and he starred in and wrote the
screenplay for “One Trick Pony.”
Although “One Trick Pony” wasn’t the
best Film ever made, it sure beat such
Reagan classics as “Code of the Secret
Service,” “Cattle Queen of Montana,”
“I lellcats of the Navy” or “Bonzo Wins
One for the Gipper.”
increase,
ipe.ired as
pell’s rac
Vietnam memorial stirs
memories for visitors
Kirsten
Dietz
Guest Columnist
As the visitors
approach the
memorial, their
conversations
fade. Even
children, who
have no idea what
the memorial
represents, sense there is something
special about this jdace and grow quiet.
Known simply to locals as “The Wall,”
it is known officially as the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial.
The Wall was built in 1982, but I first
visited it three years ago as a college
freshman. I knew a little about Vietnam,
but what I had learned were the typical
history book facts every student learns
in a standard American history course. I
was in no way prepared for the
outpouring of emotion felt by the
visitors who were old enough to
remember that era, especially the
veterans visiting The Wall that day.
Recently, I went back. This time I
approached the memorial with some
trepidation. I now knew much more;
not just the history behind the conflict,
but also the emotion. For two months
last fall I worked on a special Veterans
Day section which was published in The
Battalion.
shared the horrors of the infamous
Hanoi Hilton, their home in captivity;
• One A&M student, who served in
the South Vietnamese army during the
war, told us, “The dead bodies were
green and smelled putrid. There were
so many of them that they were just
shoved along the sidewalks waiting for
relatives to come pick them up;”
• And families or 12 Aggies still
missing in action freely shared a very
sensitive part of their lives — the
nightmare of years of waiting for a
letter or phone call. Through their
memories and the information they
provided, we got to know these men.
disgusting manner, he will probably
land the Republican nomination. But
who is going to run against him?
Gary Hart blew himself out of the
race for one simple mistake — he got
caught with Rice on his boat. He should
have taken a lesson from almost every
other past president and waited until
after he was in office before he started
his monkey business. Most presidents
get oversexed while in office and can’t
resist screwing the entire country.
Thankfully Ted Kennedy won’t run.
I guess the presidency is yet another
bridge that Teddy can’t cross.
Pat Robertson has claimed that God
wants him to run for president. I doubt
that God is registered to vote and I’m
pretty sure Fie could find a better
candidate.
Alexander Haig also has thrown his
hat into the ring. If he wins who would
take over if he was shot? Ronald
Reagan?
There are a few others who have
designs on the White House but none of
them have the necessary acting
experience needed to be president.
That leaves us with Paul Simon.
If Simon were elected president he
would be the first Grammy winner ever
Bustin
Jiied We
J’s busini
sympathetic to the cause of theetBement \
(“Mrs. Robinson”), the unemploifttli ney Vic
(“The Boxer”), juvenile delinqi ases dismiss^
(“Me and Julio Down by the ■^urbusii
Schoolyard”) and photographer?
harassed by Sean Penn
(“Kodac hrorne”). He opposesn
(“Scarborough Fair/Cantidej.sq
civil rights (“I le Was My Brother ji s I partner,
despises religious hypocrasy greemem
( S|),11 iow.'' "7 ( )'( 1( >c k News' Sounw pi mm
Night”). ^K(il woul<
Although Reagan claims to P‘ l ‘ (
understand the situationcomplecBf'^p'
has never even been to SouthA: . or T v , s j H .|
Simon, on the pther hand,hasleB|t on dn
South Africa and hasworkedd or illegal cat
with several blat k South Africar Itcpange f<
al
icttler sal
rnminal case
I’m not talking about the little twitty
senator from Illinois who wears bow ties
and looks like the guy Mr. Rogers once
brought on the show to explain the
fundementals of accounting to all the
little neighbors. I’m talking about the
Paul Simon who plays guitar and sings.
to hold that office. Although Lyndon B.
Johnson’s “L.B.J. Sings Cattle Songs
and Vietnam War Ditties” sold several
thousand copies here in Texas, no
president has ever had a successf ul
recording career. Richard Nixon would
have been a major contender in the
“Best Recording of Profanity by a Public
Official” category back in 1974, but the
best bits of his tapes were erased.
I think that Simon could deal with the
problem of apartheid in South Africa.
Unlike previous presidents, Simon
seems to have a great understanding of
the human condition. His songs “The
Sounds of Silence,” “Mother and Child
Reunion,” “Slip Slidin’ Away” and “I
Am a Rock” show a deep insight to
human nature. His songs “America”
and “American Tune” show a true love
for his country.
President Simon would be
musicians while recording his
“(iraceland” album. Perhaps,tki
music, apartheid could beabol
11 Simon were to run forprsi
his running mate would havetolt
(iarfunkel. Naturally. GaifunUw,
be a great vice pi cm(lent since.: 4
would h.i \ r u> (lo is just stand w \
look good and occasionally ham®
with what the presidentissayinfI AUSTIN
Garfunkel’s movie career iseveucourt ruled
extensive than Simon’s inthatlit:^ 0,llM1 ' ss * ( >i
had st.u i ing iolcs m several
including “('.arnal Knowledge7 *
“t ' ifrh 99 ” eUI "' ' ' s
tern l'( 11.
1 lie cabinet of the Simon ft\ n acces ,
administration would be incredfefee paid by
Dylan could be secretary of stattimon can ier
Springsteen could be secretani be char
Jerry Garcia could be secretaryo( H 1 e ' c h* 1 ( ’ 1
agriculture. Barry Manilowcoulc jf r " a .!]
sec ret.u \ <>t i hr inlcrior. DeeSntf^', 1 ^'.^ 1 1(l
could be secretary of education I
Hary to or:
Biafra could he secretary of defe;distance cal
fist, i
David Crosby could headupthe appeals cou
president’s special conimitteeonn Accord in
abuse.
Simon and Garfunkel ini
about time we elect someonewboi
something to say and cansayitw|
music.
Karl Pallmeyer is a journalism
graduate and a columnist forlk
Battalion.
It was with these experiences in mind
that I visited The Wall this second time.
But, because I understood, it really was
my First visit.
I he two months, in a way, were like a
crash course in the conflict and almost
every emotion it generated:
• Veterans told us about the insults
and suspicion they came home to
instead of the cheers and
congratulations which greeted veterans
of other wars;
The memorial makes a statement not
only about Vietnam, but about the
futility of any war. The Wall is not just a
memorial, but it is 58,007 memorials, a
memorial for each man or woman
whose name is carved in black granite.
The listing of all these names, spread
over 140 adjoining panels, underlines
the loss of individuals rather than the
loss of a nameless group of people.
Friends and relatives aren’t just visiting
a memorial, they’re visiting a loved one.
Physically touching the name brings
that loved one closer.
Former A&M prisoners of war
The polished black granite used to
construct the memorial makes a
statement of its own. Reflected from the
names of the dead are symbols of the
living— people, grass, trees. Experts
don’t know why, but hairline cracks
began appearing in the granite last year.
Perhaps this is an unintentional, but
accurate, reflection of our policy to get
involved in the conflict in 1959: While
the intentions were good in the
beginning, the objectives eventually fell
apart.
The base of The Wall is strewn with
momentos of love — flowers, wreaths,
love letters, birthday cards, pictures of
now-grown children, poems and even
military medals. People crowd The Wall
to look for names. The National Park
Service provides a directory to help
locate a specific name and pencil and
paper for visitors to make a rubbing of
that name.
Some people thought that building
The Wall would be a healing process;
the nation finally would have a way to
reconcile the past and put the trauma of
the war behind it.
This could be true. But hopefully
The Wall will fulfill a greater need —the
need to keep the memories of this
period alive so man will think twice
about the devastation war causes and
whether its results are really worth the
price we later pay.
Kirsten Dietz is a senior journalism
major and senior staff writer for The
Battalion.
Never underestimate
the power of a woman
especially a wrestler
T he big news in
professional
wrestling is that a
group of women
have joined the
tour and will be
grunting and
groaning at an
arena near you
very soon.
Where was Bernhard GoetzA
needed him?
Gordie Mae even beat upin)
boyhood friend and idol, Weyntf
Wannamaker Jr., a great Ameriff
Weyman was walking downtkt
SAN Al
ailors inji
Struck thi
I’urjile I
Wednesdr
they are i
sive burns
k Ray 1)<
Brooke /
said the f:
pciiy of fie
Hey rece
Hear Adn
H La wren
of Frede
James R. 1
were amc
the Stark
May 17 Pt
They a
hallway of the school onedayand has the LI
I like some of
the women
Lewis
Grizzard
accidentally ran into Gordie Mae
The collision knocked him,am
Gordie Mae’s books to the floor.
wrestlers’ names. There’s Queen King,
for instance. And Bam Bam, who must
be somebody from a tag team with
another lady grappler (an old term left
over from my sports-writing days) called
Thank You, Ma’am.
Weyman, not wanting a
confrontation with Gordie Mae,if
and hurried away from the scene
Wrestling fans, those who can talk,
may be saying, “Fm not going to pay
good money to watch a bunch of women
rasslers.”
Gordie Mae said, “Weyman,!
thought when a lady dropped her pan
books, a gentleman helped herpij ln ^ j
center, on
satisfactoi
well, Dery
■ Dery s
and fath
Bareford,
mes, al?
mother, I
rmy Sp<
/heeler c
Morris
training c
Corpur
them up.”
“Yeah,” replied Weyman,“a
thought the Titanic sunk.”
That is the wrong attitude for the
obvious reason that this is 1987 and
women have every right to be out there
bilking the idiots who believe this stuff is
real and making a few quick bucks right
alongside their male counterparts.
Weyman was able to return to J
three days later when the swel
down in his eye.
That is also the wrong attitude
because there are some women who can
deliver some rather sound whippings
not only to other women, but to men,
too.
One year at the county fairtbeK
a contest. Anybody who couldsia'
the ring with a gorilla for five mil' 1
could win $50.
11:01
I learned never to underestimate the
fighting ability of my opposite sex back
in the third grade when I had my first
confrontation with the school bully,
who, believe it or not, was a girl.
The gorilla, so the story went,!* 1 I
from show business soon after
with Gordie Mae, who put out onf
eyes, broke three of his fingers,sH
his little toe Hat, before the gorilla 1
manager gave Gordie Mae$100a' :
begged her to take the money and
him and his partner alone.
Gordie Mae Poovey, who was as big as
a train wreck and twice as ugly, saw me
on the playground one day sucking on a
grape Popsicle.
I lost touch with Gordie Maeafe
high school. Somebody said she®*
Hog Philpott, who was as bigas
and they restored a grain elevate®
moved into it.
“Gimme half of that Popsicle,” Gordie
Mae demanded.
It’ s too bad Gordie Maeisn’i
her prime so she could turn proa'
join the women’s wrestling circuit
AAARGULieS
QW1 MOWN f^r
I refused and she put a headlock on
me artd rammed my head into the
tetherball pole until I gave her my
entire Popsicle.
The fans would go ape over he'
which is only fitting. T hey ahead®
like one.
Copyright 1987, Cowles Syndicate
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