Page 2/The Battalion/Tuesday, June 9, 1987 Opinion U.S. flags on Kuwaiti ships not a solution in Persian Gulf In high school, I wrote a humorous short story in which the Russians announce a massive program for the training of trash haulers and we, naturally, the one with age-old territorial designs on Iran, the one that, under Stalin, attempted to seize parts of the country. In fact, it is routine for zealous Iranians to denounce the Soviet Union in the same breath as the United States. Richard Cohen espond with one of our own. We did not know the reason for the Soviet program, indeed we could not fathom it, but we were so accustomed to competing with the Russians in everything that we decided to match them in this as well. Something like that has happened in the Persian Gulf. Only now, of course, it is not trash haulers we are talking about. It is warships. The Soviets made the first move. They announced they would shield Kuwaiti tankers from Iranian attack by re-flagging them with the hammer and sickle. Almost immediately, we responded in kind. The administration announced the United States would run the Stars and Stripes up 1 1 Kuwaiti ships and use the Navy’s Persian Gulf fleet to ride shotgun. As is often the case. Defense Secretary Casper Weinberger explained it all. First, he noted that the U.S. Navy has maintained a presence in the Persian Gulf since IfHV. Next, he uttered the usual bromides about freedom of the seas (although no American ships have been attacked by 11 an) and then he played his trump: The United States could not allow the Soviets to gain a toehold in the Middle East. Having said that on two weekend interview programs, Weinberger’s questioners were struck dumb. To Americans, the specter of the Soviet threat is the contemporary equivalent of a cross to a vampire: Before it, only retreat is possible. It could be that Weinberger was uttering such an astounding truth that nothing more need be said. But the administration has played this hand before — sometimes disingenuously but almost always without critical debate. The Iranian arms deal, you will recall, was initially explained as an attempt to woo moderate elements in Iran, not to gain the release of American hostages in Lebanon. The United States had to ensure that a post- Khomeini Iran did not fall into Soviet hands. The argument was preposterous. Ever since the Czars, Russia has been Iran’s traditional enemy. Russia — and not the United States — is the atheist power on its northern border, Now as justification for a U.S. military buildup in the Persian Gulf, we hear an echo of the old Russians- are-coming argument. That hardly makes it specious, but neither does it make it self-explanatory. What will be the consequences of the Soviets putting their flag on Kuwaiti ships? (Kuwait and the Soviet Union already have a warm relationship.) Does it follow that Russia will be able to control the Persian Gulf? Is there a real threat to the oil-based economies of Japan and Western Europe and, if so, how come they don’t perceive it? (NATO has been cool to Weinberger’s suggestion that it join the United States in the Gulf.) It seems the sight of the Russian flag has driven the administration bonkers. It has all but enlisted on the side of Iraq in this most futile of wars. It has abandoned any chance of acting, maybe in concert with the Russians, as a neutral in arranging a truce. And maybe worse, it has made the United States a player in the regional war. The Iranians, who have been meticulous in avoiding American ships, now have good reason to consider them hostile. So what’s going on? The answer is that there is no answer. Maybe the administration is acting prudently and wisely, but if so it has not let either Congress or the American people in on the secret. It seems, instead, to have reacted — or overreacted — to the Soviet offer, triggering a chain of events over which we could easily lose control. A plan to hoist the American flag on Kuwaiti tankers has now progressed to talk of basing rights for American fighter aircraft in nearby Middle East states. The Gulf of Persia is looking perilously like the Gulf of Tonkin. The Soviet threat is occasionally real and so, always, is the need for oil. But the real problem in the region remains the Iran-Iraq war, which is not a Soviet concoction. The administration has stumbled on a military policy for the region, but not a diplomatic one. It has instead inserted the United States into the one theater of the war where fighting is escalating — at sea — with the hope that no Iranian, like the Iraqi pilot who fired on the USS Stark, will have an itchy trigger finger. Once again, the Soviets have been countered. We have them just where they want us. Copyright 1987, Washington Post Writers Group After all, tomorrow is another do Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? The answer to that question is Leslie Farguson Guest Columnist before the biggest project of the semester is due the time suddenly seems so perfect to clean out the hall closet? A chore that has been put off for months. After all the little householdtasls done if s amazingly clear that this in perfect time — the perfect tiinetoti] my new edition of ELLE. simple. You put it off until tomorrow because yesterday you put it off until today and now there’s no time left Lwuay etui! imw incrie a nu nine I guess I’ve been putting things off all my life. Actually, even before. I was horn two weeks lafe I i There are certain requirements that must be met before I can start my homework. There’s no record of where these rules came from or who made them up. By this time it has become obvious B that I am procrastinating. By At I was born two weeks late. I came onto the world behind schedule and have stayed that way ever since. Everytime I sit down at my desk to start my homework I come to the horrible realization that the plants haven’t been watered since the last time I sat down to do homework. Rule number one states that I can’t start homework unless Mickey’s big hand is exactly on the twelve. If I start to think about doing homework at 9:58 and think about it too long I have to wait another hour to think about it again. The best thing I can figurelostojl procrastinating is to call a friendau! p liow she goes about getting her Literacy is Ikhiu'u(>rk done. rvival m a |ng am “I li, yea this is me. I’ve beenpuiu« l pp roxl off that big pi (>|C( t I have due torn . azos \ .die and thought I’d call and see what) is barrage doing. Oh, cleaning out your hallc tnally illitei The greetingcard companies say you should send your friends and loved ones a card to make them think of you. I say send them homework. Homework makes me think of old friends like no Hallmark card ever has. With the telephone at arm’s length I realize that its been since the last time I watered plants that I’ve talked to my 28 best friends. Another rule states that homework is never ever ever ever ever to be done before eight o’clock at night. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s a tradition. And everyone knows good Ags always adhere to tradition. Another rule is that homework cannot be done when the apartment is a mess. And no apartment can be considered completely clean with dirty clothes in the hamper. So, I do my wash. I ianging up the phone, 1 realize [ lllltc I haven’t picked out any dothesfor-Part one tomorrow. After choosing thenex' ensemble I decide to iron it. Notoi re ; l( i or u i 1 iron that outfit but every otheroi eon a daily in the closet. 1 his includes all mv musuallysi roommate’s i lot lies. Before 1 know A purvey I the S< >( ks .md u11(1 ICS m the | , laidi:|^ is Y < l '|''| S ( M been ironed. ‘ aiu Finally content, I check thecl