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characters as fun to watch as
the ones in costume.
People of all ages and from
all walks of life wander through
the Renaissance fantasy land.
The festival is geared to an
older crowd, but little boys ogle
at the wenches along side their
fathers, and wandering tykes
lend innocence to the free-for-
all atmosphere.
You may begin to question
the credibility of your eyesight,
but your ears quickly confirm
your visual perceptions. The
tightrope walker is whistling
Dixie, and the scantily-clad
women are vocally soliciting
your business.
They all speak with thick
drawling Old English accents,
addressing you, naturally, as
"m’lord" or “m'lady. ’ The
women selling pastries beckon
you to “nibble on m'muffins’’
and the men with the swords
are hurling insults at each other.
They’ll insult you, too, if you
give them half a chance. Just
mention that you’re an Aggie
and you'll find yourself the vic
tim of Aggie jokes and jests —
Renaissance style.
/‘My sword is long and drawn
out,” Sir Pinoch warns the vil-
lian he is dueling.
The villian replies with a
wicked gleam in his eye, “Kind
of like an Aggie football game. ”
The villian is rewarded with a
hiss from the crowd, to which
Sir Pinoch responds, “It sounds
like we have some Aggies in the
audience.”
The A&M crowd plays right
into the actor’s hands, letting go
with a resounding “Whoop!”
“OK ... then ... we’ll... talk ...
slower ...,” the duo chimes in
unison.
And after the actors have in
sulted your alma mater, it’s
likely they’ll take a stab at your
honor as well.
If you’re of the gentler sex,
the maidens selling flowered
garlands will accost you, time
and time again, insisting that it is
disgraceful to wander in public
with a naked head. If you are
ungrateful enough not to heed
their advice, it is likely you will
find yourself the subject of pub
lic scorn — or amusement, at
any rate.
“We have cheap women he
re,” one peasant woman an
nounces at the top of her voice
after you’ve refused her gar
lands. “Freeee women, freeee
women, freeee women right he-
re.
The men, too, are the subject
of public scrutiny, as they find
themselves in the hands of an
affectionate wench. For the
right price one of these wan
dering women will smother an
unsuspecting lad in bright red
kisses and friendly —very
friendly —embraces.
You may find yourself a little
bemused by the risque revelry,
but don’t worry, it won’t be
long before you’re completely
caught up in the Renaissance
spirit (or spirits, as the case may
be).
As you gradually take in the
sights and sounds, your olfac
tory senses are assaulted by a
delicious aroma that fills the al
ready pine-scented air, luring
you into irrational indulgence..
Everywhere you walk
throughout the enchanted king
dom. the scent of culinary treats
surrounds you, teasing you with
promises of palatable pleasures.
Once you realize that your
.taste buds must be appeased —
and it won’t take long for the
old taste buds to tell you that
they must be appeased —you
will find yourself in somewhat of
a pickle (pun intended).
You have oodles of foods to
choose from, ranging froom the
exotic to the ordinary. Succu
lent turkey legs and tender
steak-on-a-stick are traditional
Renaissance favorites.
But you’ll also discover a va
riety of cultural cuisines, includ
ing egg rolls, sausage-on-a-
stick, and fajitas (Renaissance
style, of course). You’ll be
tempted by le quiche pie, crois
sant sandwiches, skewered
shrimp, and marinated shishka-
bobs. The list goes on, and
you’ve only considered the en
trees.
To accompany your main
See “Renfest,” page 12
Face-painting is a popular pastime at the Renaissance Fes
tival. For a few pounds, a friendly face painter can spruce
up your looks with a variety of designs.