— 5 —
Movie Review
Parody Critters is
creepy-crawly fun
By Matt Diedrich
Staff Writer
'‘Critters” gives new meaning
to the word "derivative.” It bor
rows a little from “Close En
counters," a little from “The
Terminator” and even a little
from “Q, the Winged Serpent.”
And, needless to say, it borrows
a lot from “Gremlins.”
The surprise about this
movie is it’s not half bad. Any
one who has seen “Ghoulies”
knows about bad ripoffs. Fortu-
natelv, “Critters” belongs to a
much rarer breed: the good ri-
poff.
The “Critters” of the title are
eight nastv little furballs with
long poinitv teeth. Unlike the
Gremlins, they’re an extrater
restrial race (officially named
the Crites). After they escape
from a prison asteroid light-
vears a wav from Earth, the
warden (an enormous lump of
mucus) hires two intergalactic
bounty hunters to seek them
out.
Unfortunately, the hunters
don’t catch up with the Crites
until long after they reach
Earth. This is bad news for the
Browns, a typical rural family
whose house is besieged by the
ferocious fluffs of fur.
While the Crites are trying to
make a meal of the Browns, the
bounty hunters land in a nearby
small town and proceed to
shoot it to pieces a la “The Ter
minator.” The bounty hunters
are also shape-changers, capa
ble of taking the form of any of
the townspeople, including the
local minister.
Needless to say, “Critters” is
not a movie to be taken se
riously. There are plenty of
great, scary moments, espe
cially when the Browns barri
cade themselves in their house
and tiy to fend off the Crites.
But these scenes are balanced
by a surprising amount of gen
uine humor.
The scenes involving the
bounty hunters, a Laurel-and-
Hardv pair if there ever was
one, are especially funny. In
stead of killing Crites, they
spend their time blowing away
television sets, pianos and a
great deal of architecture. This
hilarious parody of Arnold
Schwarzenegger is one of the
movie’s best aspects.
“Critters” is not without
weaknesses, however. It takes
far too long to get going, and
with a running time of only 80
minutes, it’s over much too
quickly.
The special effects are also
laughably fake, but often this
adds to the humor rather than
detracting from the horror. The
closing sequence, though, is a
shameful excuse for showing
neato visual effects. In terms of
plot, it makes no sense what
soever.
The cast isn’t that great, ei
ther, but it's good enough. Dee
Wallace Stone, as Mrs. Brown
(her third “mother” role in a
row), is no longer in danger of
becoming typecast; she already
is. Her performance is essen-
tially the same one she gave in
“E.T." and “Cujo,” and it re
mains about as effective.
Scott Grimes does a much
better job as the Browns’ voung
son, a typical kid who has a
penchant for firecrackers. Al
though his constant heroism
eventually becomes tiresome,
Grimes manages to sustain a
consistent level of believability
that wins the viewer over.
The cast also includes the un
derrated M,, Emmet Walsh as
the town sheriff, a role he’s per
fected.
If you can ignore the obvious
rip-off elements, you might en
joy “Critters.” It certainly won’t
be remembered a year from
now, but as an infectiously fun
escape from realitv it succeeds
admirably.
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