The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current, March 04, 1986, Image 2

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    Page 2AThe Battalion/Tuesday, March 4, 1986
4
Opinion
Preserving academic values
through 'no play, no pass'
In the begin
ning, there was
evolutionary sci
ence. Then people
calling themselves
“creationists” ral
lied and lobbied to
have religion
taught in science
classes.
Now we have LorenSteffy
the no-pass, no- .
play rule that attempts to realign aca
demic values. If the new law succeeds,
children actually may go to school to
learn rather than to play football. The
long-term effects could be devastating
to the nation. What will happen when
our high schools can no longer generate
blue-chip athletes? Colleges can’t be ex
pected to buy cars for players who con
sistently have losing seasons.
But just as creationists crusaded for a
“balanced” education, football loyalists
also will demand similar equality. I’m
speaking, of course, of the controversial
“no-play, no-pass” rule.
The rule would prohibit students
from passing any of their courses unless
they take at least one football prep
course each semester. Opposition has
been strong, but advocates are glad to
see a return to traditional academic va
lues.
High school counselors are advising
students to get as much football back-
gound as possible, because colleges are
expected to raise their football entrance
requirements before the next fiscal year.
Some students with heavy course
loads — future mathematicians, nuclear
physicists and microbiologists — already
have voiced concerns.
“I’m not here to play football, I’m
here to study microprogramming of
digit-control dynamic stochastic sys
tems,” says Poindexter Q. Magillicutty, a
high school senior and president of Fu
ture High Tech Corporate Magnates of
America. “I’ll never pass if I have to take
football, which means I’ll never get into
MIT.”
But Coach Rusty Kleates, a high
school football instructor, disagrees.
“How can a boy be well-rounded if he
hasn’t learned how to smear some other
kid’s face across the Astroturf?”
Kleates feels that if the integrity of
the nation is to be preserved, football
must be kept as an integral part of the
American educational system.
“Look, ” Kleates says, “every other
nation has their claim to fame. Japan
has its cameras, cars and computers.
Germany’s got its cars, beer and Berlin
Wall. London has its buses, royalty and
tea. Switzerland has its summits, choco
late and peace. America’s cars, cameras,
computers, beer, tea and chocolate pale
in comparison. But, by God, America
has its football. This nation is known for
grown men who like to brutalize each
other over a ball you can’t bounce and
beer with German-sounding names.”
Kleates and other coaches feel that
without proper football training, the
youth of America will turn into calcula
tor-wielding wimps.
“It’ll be like ‘Peanuts,’ Kleates ex
plains. “First, girls will start wanting to
play. Obviously, they can’t play line
backer, it’s chromosomally impossible.
So, we’ll have to let ’em hold the ball for
the place kicker. But without proper in
struction, the boys’ll be too wimpy to
kick the ball.”
Kleates insists that football education
is vital for any child. “You got kids today
who don’t know the difference between
home plate and the end zone. Who
would have thought our education sys
tem could become so lax?”
The no-play, no-pass rule hasn’t been
well received by non-athletic teachers.
Many teachers feel it’s unfair to expect
them to incorporate sports into the
classroom. “Anatomy isn’t too bad, the
students can learn the parts of the body
by what gets broken in an average
game,” says Frederick Phormaldehide, a
science teacher. “But just try to explain
how many First downs ago the earth was
formed (or created).”
However, the recent wave of com
plaints by prospective employers that
“Johnny can’t pass, Johnny can’t run
and Johnny can’t kick” have begun to
change the public’s opinion.
“I don’t want an employee who can
punch buttons on a keyboard, I want an
employee who can do two miles with me
at lunch,” says Archimedes P. Throck
morton VI, president of Throckmor
ton, Fisk, Worley, Spindfelder, Blib-
doolpoop 8c Snorph Ltd. “Nowadays,
high schools and colleges are producing
scholars who don’t even have the sta
mina to walk up stairs. We’ve had to put
escalators in all our buildings.”
The new rule isn’t infallible. Eggbert
K. Quigley, a National Merit scholar,
says he is planning to buy most of his
plays from the school quarterback to
boost his grades. Other kids feel their
fathers will be more inclined to help
with homework if all they have to do is
throw a few screen passes after dinner.
Kleates also expresses some concern
over mandatory football instruction.
“You may see a lot more kids running
around with tape in the middle of their
face mask to hold it together.”
Loren Steffy is a junior journalism ma
jor and the Opinion Page editor for
The Battalion.
Q. WUAT HAS TUE WHEELS OF A CHEW, TRANSMISSION OF
A PATSUN, FENPER OF A POPGE, MUFFLER OF A MERCEPES,
ANP REAR AXLE OF A FORP PICKUP ?
MAR&UUES
<§>1906 HOUSTON FPST
United Feature Syndicate
A. A NEARBY POTHOLE
Helping the hole neighborhood
“The Pothole
Man” is happy to
report the mailbox
has been overflow-
ing with letters.
Thanks to a cold
and wet winter,
potholes are now
flowering in
neighborhoods
that have never Art BuChWOld
seen them before.
Unfortunately there is still a lot of ig
norance about the care and feeding of
potholes — and that’s where The Po
thole Man comes in.
Our first letter is from Laurie
Kramer who writes:
“1 have a beautiful pothole in front of
my house measuring two feet by two
feet, and one-and-a-half feet deep.
What would you advise me to plant in
it?”
Dear Laurie: What you plant in your
pothole depends on whether you want
to use it for show or eat from it. Since I
assume it will be run over at least 200
times a day, I would plant something
low to the ground, such as petunias for
show or dwarf pear trees for food. Make
sure you have a good drainage system in
your pothole, or it will fill with water
and become a breeding ground for ma
laria mosquitoes.
The second letter, from Connie Coo-
persmith, asks us to discuss pothole
ownership:
“We bought a home last month with
an art deco pothole that the previous
owner insisted was at least 50 years old.
Actually, we bought the house for the
hole. Now it turns out we do not own
the pothole — the city does. Can we still
fertilize it and treat it as our own?”
Dear Connie: It is interesting that the
city would claim ownership of a pothole
on your street. Municipal authorities,
when called, not only deny they own the
pothole, but an attempt to prove your
street is not even within the city limits.
Consider the street hole your own.
A letter from Joey Fontana deals with
fixing up potholes:
“My hobby is finding run-down po
tholes in the neighborhood and improv
ing them so they look almost brand-
new. I drive a cement truck so I think I
do as good a job as anyone. The other
day at Cathedral and 44th Street, I
made beaut — I mean a Greyhound bus
could disappear in it and never be heard
from again.
“Well, this guy Charlie Guggenheim,
who owns a house right there, said I was
getting too close to his pothole. He told
me to fill it in or take it somewhere else.
I’m not taking it anywhere. Am I right?”
Dear Joey: You certainly are. Gug
genheim should be pleased with having
your pothole in front of his house. If he
had any class he’d fill it up with humus
and plant some tulips. Recently the
courts have ruled that a pothole belongs
to all the people. Our founding fathers
wanted America’s potholes to be shared
by everyone — from sea to shining sea.
By enlarging and widening the pothole
in front of Guggenheim’s house you en
hanced all the real estate values in the
area.
Dana Williams wrote one of the most
interesting letters:
“There was this pothole at the end of
the block and it kept getting larger and
larger. Every time a car went ‘kerplunk,’
an axle broke. Then one day a neighbor
planted a bush in it so people could see
it. The following Friday, for no reason
at all, the bush caught on fire and
burned. The next morning a city repair
truck came by and filled in the hole. My
question: Was the burning bush a mir-
cle?”
Dear Dana: I’m not sure about the
burning bush, but the city truck show-
ing up to repair the pothole sure as heck
was.
Art Buchwald is a columnist for the
Los Angeles Times Syndicate.
i CKECOWNOM* NV.W AvMYC
■
GRAMM AND mm. 1c P air (
Ireet r
late tc
The Texas
jnt will be
> r th side of
Jeen Texas
X>rn Road stai
iBob Wiatt, 1
ami traffic at
vehicles shouli
the street fr<
about Friday.
Vehicles in
dll be relocal
ijersey Strei
g|s of the ve 1
nbt be ticket
towing fees if
be relocated.
GRAMM AND RUDMAN
AFTER GRAMM-RUDMAN,
I No traffic
Street will be
wok should
gallic, Wiatt
He said th<
done because
appearing on
A Workers w
ftat, a toppn
lireet from
north curb
onto the stree
j Wiatt said
Sill be resurf
Mail Call
[AUSTIN -
eading anc
obs is legal a
norms, a juc
The decisi
ark gave th
head for coi
Tool admin
Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300 words in length. The editorial staff reserves ihtr
to edit letters for style and length but will make every effort to maintain the author's intent,
letter must be signed and must include the address and telephone number of the writer.
Those wh
am in June
The Text
allenged tl
ould decid
A top TS’
sion “will a
rttm of p
asisofwhet
TSTA pn
Desperately seeking backpack
EDITOR:
After my Friday tests I went to the Chicken to relax and lift a fewbeenl
While I was there, someone accidently picked up my backpack which i
tained about everything that I owned. I have more tests Friday and needni'l
notes back desperately. If you have my backpack, please call me at 779-8
so I don’t fail anything.
Craig Browning
Calculator found
EDITOR:
I recently found a calculator in Harrington Education Center. I canbfl
reached at 260-6304. Thank you.
Jean Welch
At
Stupid decisions
EDITOR:
With all the usual fanfare, the president’s blue-ribbon panel of specialistiil
appointed to investigate the Challenger catastrophe, has announced thened
director of NASA. And, as has become commonplace with the Reagan i
ministration, they have rewarded ineptness and poor professionalism, rathei
than stifling it.
Jesse Moore was NASA’s associate administrator of space flight andthel
man who made the Final decision to launch the Challenger to its fate. The pa l
pers say he was not advised of the shuttle’s problems, so supposedly is notre f
sponsible for them. Yet, any administrator worth his pay should not onl)|
know what is happening “in the ranks”, but should have an organization inI
which his people feel free to contact him — directly, if need be — in the eventl
of any dangerous circumstances. Obviously, Jesse Moore satisFied neitherof|
these criteria as associate administrator of the Johnson Space Center.
Yet, he was promoted to head of the center shortly after the accident-
further insulating him from the chaotic investigation which ensured. Nowhel
is head of all of NASA. Something is amiss, not only at NASA, but in Wash l
ington, and with those who are making these kind of stupid decisions.
William H. Clark II
The Battalion
(USPS 045 360)
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwestjournalism Conference
The Battalion Editorial Board
Editor Michelle Po« j
Managing Editor Kay Malleti
Opinion Page Editor Loren Steffy I
City Editor Jerry Oslin
News Editor Cathie Anderson 1
Sports Editor T ravis Tingle
Editorial Policy
The Batlalion is a non-profit, self-supporting newspaper operated as a community service to Texas A&M and Bryan-Colleft
Station.
Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those of the Editorial Board or the author and do not necessarily represent t/)t
opinions of Texas A&M administrators, faculty or the Board of Regents.
The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography classes w/thin ifc
Department of Communications.
The Battalion is published Monday through Friday during Texas A&M regular semesters, except for holiday and examinr
tion periods. Mail subscriptions are f 16.75 per semester, $33.25 per school year and $35 per full year. Advertising rates fut
nished on request.
Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald Building, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX 77843-
Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843.
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to The Battalion, Texas A&M University, College Station, Texas 77843