POTPOURRI
She lives down under, but she's not Australian
By mary McWhorter
Entertainment Writer
It's not easy being cute.
What's worse, it's not easy being cute and
short. But I guess being short goes along with
being cute. I've never seen a cute, tall person.
So I guess my problem is that I'm not tall
enough. Or am I too short?
How short am I? I'm 5 feet 1 inch short. Actu
ally, I just missed out on being a dwarf. A
dwarf is a full grown person who is under 5 feet
tall. At least I'm lucky in that respect. However,
if I was a dwarf, I'd probably be Sneezy. I have
a lot of allergies.
Life is full of frustrations for short people. Of
course there are the obvious problems. For ex
ample, not being able to reach things other
people can reach. Another headache is find
ing clothes that fit right without alterations. By
the way, if there are any shoe store managers
out there who carry women's shoes size 6 nar
row please leave a message for me at The Bat
talion and I will be right over.
When I was a kid, it always made me sad to
be the last one picked when everybody chose
sides for a game. I liked sports and put a lot of
effort into them, but that didn't make up for the
fact that I just couldn't run as fast as the other
kids or hit the ball as far.
And then there is always the annoyance of
people mistaking my age. Actually, I'm not
sure if that is due to my lack of height or my im
mature behavior. Anyway, people are always
telling me how grateful I will be when I get
much older and will want to look much
younger. I don't believe them. I will just look
like an short, old lady with a lot of wrinkles.
Now we get down to the real crux of the
problem. Discrimination. I am talking about
the lack of short, female sex objects. Maybe
that's my problem. I have a non-sexy self-
image due to the media's incessant habit of al
ways portraying sexy women as being tall and
sinuous, with long legs and long bodies and
long arms and long necks. And if you want to
be a model these days you might as well forget
it if you aren't at least 5 feet 10 inches tall. And
have you watched the Miss America Pageant
recently? Secretariat never had legs that long.
Not only can't I be sexy, I can't be American ei
ther.
And to top all this off, I am tired of looking up
to everybody all the time. I will probably need
physical therapy for neck strain one of these
days.
But now I have a heroine. Her name is Mary
Lou Retton. She has given me hope and inspi
ration for the future of short people.
Never in the history of short people has one
of us become so famous and so loved. (Napo
leon was famous, but he surely wasn't loved,
at least not by the Russians. Then again, I bet
Mary Lou isn't loved by the Russians either.
And most certainly not by the Romanians.)
Anyway, I have formulated a plan that will
give tax breaks to short people who marry
other short people and produce short children.
After all, short people use less of our natural
resources. They eat less, (unless they're real
fat), and wear smaller clothes, and generally
take up less space and breathe less air. I also
think clothing stores and restaurants should
give us a discount.
I am also petitioning my local congressman
to declare a national short people day where
everyone over 5 foot 3 inches will have to hob
ble around on their knees so they can know
what it's like to be short.
And finally, I am recommending a law
whereby any businessman that stocks store
shelves over 5 feet 5 inches will automatically
receive a prison sentence and have his legs
amputated below the knee.
Speaking of things that extend themselves
too far, this article is getting a little too long so I
guess I'd better cut it short. I'm not ending my
struggle for equality, however. Maybe, with a
little more publicity, Mary Lou and I can make
short chic again. But we have a long (but at
least not a tall) way to go. □
Sissy Spacek awed
by woman's life;
'Marie' tells story
By BOB THOMAS
Associated Press
LOS ANGELES — The period
just before a movie opens is a ner
vous one for Academy Award
winning actress Sissy Spacek.
However, with her latest effort,
"Marie," about to show, luck is on
her side.
"Fortunately, I have a red
headed diversion," she said.
The Oscar winner and her di
version, her 3-year-old baby,,
Schuyler, arrived in a long, gray
limousine at the Westwood Mar
quis hotel, midv/ay through a
publicity whirl for "Marie." Ac
companying her was the real
Marie Ragghianti, the Tennessee
parole board chairwoman whose
revelations of corruption helped
send a governor to prison.
It's easy to see why Spacek was
interested in the saga of Marie
Ragghianti. A battered wife with
three small children, Ragghianti
left her husband and worked her
way through Vanderbilt Univer
sity, then earned a job in the Ten
nessee state government.
As the first woman to head the
Board of Pardons and Paroles,
she discovered payoffs were be
ing made. Gov. Ray Blanton was
among those who went to jail.
Spacek was fascinated with the
saga of Marie Ragghianti, who
was fired and vilified before suing
to get her job back. The actress
commissioned a script, but had to
shelve the project when she be
came pregnant.
Later Spacek learned that Peter
Maas ("Serpico," "King of the
Gypsies") had written a book,
"Marie: A True Story," and pro
ducer Dino De Laurentis owned
the rights. John Briley ("Ghandi")
had written a script, and Austra
lian Roger Donaldson ("The
Bounty") would direct.
"I felt desperately that they
needed me," she recalled. Indeed
they did, and the deal was struck.
Ordinarily a relentless researcher
for her roles, Spacek was filming
"Violets Are Blue" with director-
husband Jack Fisk just before the
start of "Marie." Hence, she was
unable to meet with Ragghianti.
"But Roger sent me a tape of a
conversation with Marie," Spacek
said. "I read the manuscript of a
book she had written while things
were happening to her, and I
read Peter Maas' book. So I felt I
knew her before we met." □
Group Mr. Mister
finally hits charts
"Miles, my idol," says key-
By WALTER BERRY
Associated Press
PHOENIX, Ariz. —Though their
songwriting talents have earned
the respect of their music peers for
years, the rock group Mr. Mister is
just now seeking some self-recog
nition — and getting it.
"This band is really starting to
happen," says bassist and lead
singer Richard Page. "People
who don't ordinarily call us are
calling up to say, 'Hey, I heard
your song on the Top 40. I punch
the buttons on the radio and your
song is on three different sta
tions."'
The commotion is over Mr. Mis
ter's second album, "Welcome to
the Real World," which is climb
ing the charts thanks to the hit sin
gle, "Broken Wings." A black-
and-white video for the song cur
rently is in heavy rotation on
MTV. Jazz great Miles Davis has
recorded his own version of it.
"We were recording recently in
Los Angeles and we heard him
rehearsing it in another room,"
drummer Pat Mastelotto recalls.
"Miles was playing the tape back
and forth, teaching his band the
song. It knocked us out. We
couldn't believe it. I mean, Miles
Davis!"
boardist-saxophonist Steve
George, who’s been Page's part
ner since high school.
Page, now 32, and George, 30,
formed the group, Pages, in 1975
and had three albums on three
different record labels.They were
better known as writers, session-
men and backup singers for such
performers as A1 Jarreau, Donna
Summer, Dionne Warwick,
Quincy Jones, REO Speedwagen,
Rick Springfield, Marty Balin and
the Village People.
Mr. Mister took shape in 1982
when Page and George audi
tioned Mastelotto, 30, and Steve
Farris, 28, who had toured for
three years with Eddie Money.
Mr. Mister's debut album, "I
Wear the Face," peaked at No. 55
on Billboard's Hot 100 last year
because of the singles, "Talk the
Talk" and "I'll Let You Drive," and
the hit, "Hunters of the Night,"
which was co-wntten with their
manager, George Ghiz.
"We've always felt we had
something to offer,” Page says.''-
We've been in the studio racket a
long time and we've always been
on the threshold as a band. Now,
all these things seem to be hap
pening — maybe a little later
than we had hoped for — but
we're happy and we're glad it's
happening." □