Page 2/The Battalion/Tuesday, October 8, 1985
Opinion
Put holiday season
back in its place
On most calendars Christmas is still Dec. 25. But apparently
some local merchants feel the Christmas season begins in Octo
ber.
Commercial exploitation of any sacred holiday is sad.
We haven’t gotten past trick-or-treating or eating turkey and
yet several local stores already are displaying Christmas trees,
ornaments, stockings and artificial Santas and reindeer. Radio
spots and advertising mailouts invite us to “shop early” and to
“buy your Christmas presents now.”
Most people enjoy getting into the Christmas spirit during
the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas day. But at
tempting to stretch the Christmas season to the first of October
is ridiculous. Next year it may be August or September.
We don’t argue with the merchants’ right of free enterprise.
However, this freedom should not be used to “sale” a religious
celebration.
Let’s keep the holy in holiday. Let’s celebrate Christmas at
Christmas time.
The Battalion Editorial Board
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A. PRESIDENT &0TUA, TO SEE YOU
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Happy Divorce!
Breaking vows can be as joyous as taking them
By
Two co
pnnter ml
rial St tide
grams off!
tor Janies I
The cou
ferret I ven
Last month I re
ceived an invita
tion to attend a
party celebrating
the divorce of
some good
friends.
Mr. and Mrs. N.
O. Love request
the honor of your
presence at the
Woe-is-me County
“Whale, ya know ... ah guess jes’
’bout anythin’ ya like, really. They’s
gonna be needin’ plenty since they’s a’s-
plittin’.
flowers. I asked around and found that
it was for the divorce ceremony.
“Thanks,” I responded not anymore
enlightened than before.
“Won’t they make it official at the
courthouse?” I inquired.
John Halleff
Just what do you give to an estranged
couple? Certainly not his ’n hers bath
towels or satin bed sheets.
“Whale, yes’n’no,” replied the same
insightful person who was so helpful
with my questions about proper party
etiquette.
Courthouse, 3rd District Court, at 3:30
p.m. Friday, September 28, 1985, to wit
ness the termination of 15 years of mis
erable matrimony.
Reception to follow at the Watering
Hole, 96 East Kinsey.
Unsure of what to bring and how to
dress, I asked one of the reception’s
planners about divorce party etiquette.
“Whale, ah guess it ain’t much dif-
fernt than a weddin’ reception ’cept
that they’s be gettin’ dee-vorced ’stedda
gettin’ hitched. An’ since the party’s
gonna be at the “Hole,” I ’magine ya
don’t hafta get decked out none . . .
butcha bring geefs jes’ like et weddins
an’ such.”
Being a pragmatic kind of guy I ar
rived at the party (1 decided to bypass
the court proceedings) bearing gifts for
the ‘pair-no-more’ — a book entitled
“How to Train Men” for the former
missus and a helpful guide called “How
to Pick Up Women,” a must for bache
lors (the cover was slightly crinkled, I
admit to flipping through it the night
before).
“What do you mean by that? I que
ried.
picked out “Melancholy Baby,” “The
Way We Were” and “You Don't Bring
Me Flowers” on the jukebox. I thought
the party was supposed to cheer up the
litigants so 1 went over to the jukebox
and selected “The Bitch Is Back.” Now
that’s more like it, 1 thought.
About five minutes later the divorce
party entered the premises. Nick and
Emily Zelda (the guests of honor) strode
to the arch.
“I do
assembled
“Do you Emily Zelda take studies con
your lawful ex, to shun and igi taken.
dc.ti h . I.>es ><m in?” , R Jllll<,l l
short-term
shortage p
ingthe MS'
i.; Robert
It.. \. m \u k pioitme t presi.l. in ■
Zelda child support until vourvoJp^ ex P
< IliUl I e.K lies 18?"
have pi ioi i
:ouncil mei
“Say again?" . -.,
“Ah was gettin’ to et, ef ya’d give me a
chance now. Yea, they’s gettin’ dee-
vorced at the courthouse an’ then they’s
a cornin’ here an they’s gonna brang
Judge Stone with ’em.”
Judge Stone stood several steps be
hind the arch holding a lit candle. W’hen
Nick and Emily Zelda reached the arch
he handed the candle to the ex-Loves.
“I said," Judge Stone repealed
you Nick promise to pay Emilii
child support until your younges
reaches 18?”
Great, I thought, it’s going to be a
scene right out of “Night Court.”
Over the entrance to the Watering
Hole was a sign that read: No Guns Al
lowed. “Must be a tough crowd — I
hope this doesn’t turn into a family
feud,” I thought out loud as I mean
dered in.
“An’ when they git here, they’s gonna
have a ceremony kinda like a weddin’
with your Honor precidin.”
“The candle that Nick and Emily
Zelda are holding, and I must admit
they are showing admirable restraint,
represents the life they led as man and
wife. The two candles before them rep
resent their seperate lives ...”
“Wait a minute, who said ai"
about child support?” Nickdeman
‘Thanks.”
A minor ruckus began at this point
when Nick and Emily Zelda tugged on
the single candle trying to light his or
her candle first.
“It’s all here in the paperssowj
calm down or 1 hold you forcoais
Now let me have the rings please
and Emily Zelda proceeded lofl
their wedding rings.
“Don’t mention et.’
‘What kind of gifts?” I queried.
To my surprise, in the middle of the
barroom dance floor was an arch like
the kind you might see at a garden wed
ding except it was decorated with dead
Seeing that it was only 3:15 1 headed
to the bar to down a few belts before the
festivites began. 1 was already getting
into a somber mood. Someone had
Emily Zelda finally gave in. “I waited
this long so I guess I can wait another
minute you (expletives deleted)....
After the candles were lit, Judge
Stone continued.
Judge Stone turned to thera
and announced “May 1 preseS
Nick Love and Ms. Emily Zelda Si
John Hallett is a senior
ence major, a columnist undM
tor for The Battalion.
Health center should take better care of studen
Last year, the
A . P . B e u t e 1
Health Center
treated 70 people
for injuries re
ceived during pre
parations for bon-
fire. If we no
longer had bon
fire the health
center would not
have to treat those
injuries. If no one
sex then the health center would not
have to provide birth control services. If
there were no women at Texas A&M
then the health center would no longer
have to provide gynecological examina
tions.
Getting rid of bonfire would be stu
pid. Getting rid of sex would be impossi
ble. Getting rid of women would be ille
gal. The health center will treat bonfire
injuries but will not provide birth con
trol services or gynecological examina
tions. That’s discrimination.
On Sept. 1 the health center stopped
giving physical examinations and pre
scriptions for birth control pills. Dr.
Claude Goswick, director of the health
center, said the center is so understaffed
and overworked that it can no longer af
ford provide these “routine” services.
Goswick said that this was a logical place
for the chop.
Due to this “logical chop,” more than
14,000 women attending Texas A&M
are being denied the right to see a gyne
cologist and students who are sexually
active, both female and male, can no
longer get precscriptions for birth con
trol pills.
Goswick said that the purpose of the
health center is to take care of illnesses
and injuries. The purpose of a student
health center should be to provide for
the health care needs for students. If
the health center would practice pre
ventive medicine, they might not have
to take care of as
many cases. It’s a
lot easier to pre-
vent a disease
than it is to cure
it.
Doctors recom-
mend that
women over 18
should see a gy
necologist at least once a year to check
for cancer of the ovaries, breasts, cervix
and various other problems such as
cysts. Gynecological examinations are
an important health care need of all
women students at Texas A&M.
All students pay a $15 fee each semes
ter for health center services. Before the
health center did away with the service,
women having gynecological examina
tions would have to pay an additional
$17 for lab fees. Most gynecologists in
the Bryan-College Station area charge
about $50 for the examination plus lab
fees up to $25. It is ridiculous to require
women students to pay $15 a semester
so that the health center can tell them
they have to go pay a gynecologist $75.
Despite what some people choose to
believe, many college students are sex
ually active. To prevent unwanted preg
nancies, some form of birth control
should be available to these students.
Birth control is the responsibility of the
couple, not just the female partner.
Birth control services are an important
health care need of students at Texas
A&M.
Goswick said one of the reasons ex
aminations for birth control were dis
continued was because some doctors
prefer not to give prescriptions for birth
control. He said that a woman shouldn’t
want a prescription from a doctor who
doesn’t believe she should have it. On
the other hand, many doctors do prefer
to prescribe birth control devices an and
women should have the opportunity to
go to another doctor for another opin
ion.
If a doctor doesn’t not want to pre
scribe birth control for medical reasons,
his decision should be respected due to
his expertise on the matter. But if a doc
tor refuses to prescribe birth control for
moral reasons, it would be like a doctor
refusing to treat a car crash victim be
cause he doesn’t like wreckless drivers.
The idea that the availability of birth
control devices only promotes premari
tal sex is the height of stupidity. Prema
rital sex has existed much longer than
birth control devices, and many married
couples also use some form of birth con
trol. Because so many people find abor
tion morally repulsive they should pro
mote the use of
birth control to pre
vent the unwanted
pregnancies that
sometimes result in
abortion.
The A.P. Beutel
Health Genter, be
ing the student’s
health center,
should take better care of the students
at Texas A&M. By discontinuing gyne
cological examinations and birth control
services, the health center is not taking
good care of the students. The health
center is frequently called the “quack
shack” instead of the A.P. Beutel Health
Center — apparently there is a general
dissatisfaction with the quality of serv
ices offered.
The health center, for the most part,
is funded by the $15 health center serv
ice the students pay each semester.
Since the money comes from the stu
dents, the students should have some
say in how their money is spent.
Tonight at 8:30 a group of concerned
students will meet at the MSG Main
Karl
Pallmeyer
at Texas A&M had
The health center is frequently called the “quack shack” instead of
the A.P. Beutel Health Center — apparently there is a general dis
satisfaction with the quality of services offered .... Tonight at 8:30
a group of concerned students will meet at the MSC Main Lounge
to discuss what we as students can do to get better care from our
health center.
Lounge to discuss what we as#!
can do to get better care froll
health center. Let your voice be tel
Karl Pallmeyer is a senior jouitf
major and a columnist for The If
ion.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
South west Journalism Confertiw
The Battalion Editorial Board
Rhonda Snider, Editor
Michelle Powe, ManagingEdiw I
I.oren Steffy, Opinion Page Ed:: I
Karen Bloch, C/tyEditor I
John 1 f.illett, Kay Mallett, Newfdij
Travis Tingle, Sports Editor I
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