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Sir
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do not know, Sir/Ma'am." This must
be articulated as rapidly as possible.
Sounds like a dog's life, right? Not if
you keep in mind the philosophy be
hind it, says Yori Escalante, a senior
and Corps public relations officer.
"You've gotta shoot for something,"
Escalante says. "Things don’t come
easy in life. You've gotta have a little
bit of hardship, work for something.
In order to lead you have to follow. In
order to follow, you have to follow
guidelines."
Raphael, a member of Company
D-1, prefers to view it as a challenge.
He says, "At first, like during
F.O.W., you think, 'How in the world
do they expect us to do all this.' But if
you find a good system, then it's no
problem." One of Raphael's systems
is marking the rod in his closet so he
can line up his clothes on hangers
more quickly.
And besides, the fish can get back
at the upperclassmen once in a
while.
After Midnight Yell Practice, fish
walk in the streets and indulge in a
little good bull. (Just a term. It means
something positive, something fun.)
A fish will round up a bunch of his
buddies and they'll line up to whip
out to a sophomore. You've seen ca
dets whipping out, or introducing
themselves to each other, all over
campus.
The sophomore, called a pisshead,
has to greet each and every one of
them. And a fish who's met the
pisshead can get back in line and do
it again.
Sophomores are in charge of mak
ing sure the fish behave, as they're
supposed to, and if the fish don't,
pissheads correct them.
Pisshead ... sounds like a good
word for someone who's always on
your case. They also have holes, and
— except that they rank above fish —
pisshead life isn't measurably differ
ent from fish life.
In the Corps, life begins when
you're a junior. First off, you're a
surgebutt, so named because of the
way the pants of your uniform have a
surge in the back on your butt.
There are still a few things surge-
butts can't say or do, but for the most
part life is comfortable. Surgebutts
can have rooms, and a lot of the
goodies that come with them.
Seniors in the corps, inter
changeably called zips and el
ephants, answer to no one. The only
regulations they're must adhere to
are those of Texas A&M and of the
housing office. In other words, they
can build lofts and have extra furni
ture, carpet, televisions and curtains
in their rooms.
Escalante says seniors are called
zips because they'll soon be zipping
out of the University, and elephants
because of the way they look in their
senior pants.
They're the only ones allowed to
know anything about being dead,
dying or funerals. The other classes
can know only being biologically in
ert, becoming biologically inert or
ceremonies for those who have be
come biologically inert.
There are a lot of things that a ca
det can't know until he's a senior.
Most of them are words, and the fol
lowing is just the tip of the iceberg:
Only seniors can know zipper (for
obvious reasons) so it becomes a
metal corrugated fastener. The word
"button" (you have to think about this
one) is off limits unless you're at least
a junior (that's a hint) it is known sim
ply as fastener.
"Elephant — that's a dangerous
word," Raphael says. He says it
means trouble when someone at the
bottom of the ladder pulls out a priv
ilege of someone at the top. He says
the punishment is pushups — a maxi
mum of 20.
"That scares a lot of people be
cause they're not used to physical ac
tivity," Raphael says.
Only seniors can know elephant,
says Mason Carnes, junior in Squad
ron 2. Surgebutts can't know el
ephant, or anything to do with them,
such as circus or peanut butter. If for
some reason, a junior really has
something to say about elephants, he
refers to them as large field mice or
African pack rats. Peanut butter is, of
course, African pack rat food.
The Ross Volunteers, an honor
group in the Corps, is made up of
surgebutts and zips. So fish and
pissheads can't know words for the
group's members, says Larry Groce,
a sophomore in Squadron 2 from De-
Ridder, La.
The surgebutts for this year won't
be chosen for another couple of
weeks so surgebutts can't know the
following words yet either:
Ross Volunteers, or RV's, are di
vided into three groups: shorter ca
dets, or squats; cadets of medium
height, or meatballs; and tall cadets,
or trees.
"Tree — that one slips a lot," Groce
says. "Like if you're throwing a (foot
ball) pass to a senior and they're not
watching where they're going and
you say, 'Watch out for that tree,' then
there's trouble."
The best place to see the class dis
tinctions and the Corps vocabulary in
action is at chow in Duncan Dining
Hall.
For a slice of bread, a cadet says,
"Deal one, please." Dirt is black pep
per, blood is catsup and worms are
spaghetti noodles. Bullneck is meat,
cow is milk and long-range artillery
means green beans. Every food has
its own name.
In Duncan, fish can't talk, and they
have to sit at attention when they eat.
If they'd like something passed to
them the proceedure is this:
"Sir ..." a fish says, and his fish
buddies must put down their utensils
and pop to attention. "Has everyone
had first on the long-range artillery
that would care for some please?" If
an upperclassman wants green
beans, he'll say, "Shorts on the long-
range artillery," thereby snagging
first rights on the beans. If no one re
sponds, the fish then says, "Shoot the
long-range artillery, please."
Raphael says, "You have to ask for
food loud and clear. Everyone's all
motivated because they've done their
outfit yell and the Corps yell." Some
times a fish won't be heard over the
dining din.
A pisshead also has to ask if upper
classmen would care for seconds be
fore helping himself, but his buddies
don't have to pop to. Pissheads have
to offer the dish to each upperclass
man individually, but they have
rights to the food before the fish.
When it comes to privileges in Dun
can, the big change occurs for
pissheads who've become surge
butts.
"As a sophomore you don't have
very many more privileges and
you're watching the fish," Carnes
says. "As a junior, all you have to do
is sit and eat."
Juniors can talk, and they don't
have to request a dish. All they have
to say is "Shoot the long range artil
lery. "
"The only thing juniors can't do is
drop handles with the food," Carnes
says. "Dropping handles" is suspend
ing Corps terms for conventional
ones. All classes have to suspend
Corps terms when outsiders are eat
ing in Duncan.
"Unless we have guests or it's a
cross dine, only seniors can drop
handles with the food," Escalante
says. â–¡
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