‘Beneficial’ has nicer
ring than ‘egotisical’
There is a great
tradition at this
school. The tradi
tion says that once
you graduate you
should become
rich and success-
ful. Once you’re
rich and successful
you should donate
lots of money to
Texas A&M.
Karl
Pallmeyer
Most Aggies, once they become for
mer students, usually donate certain
amounts to the University. Some former
students are happy to send $100 and be
come members of the Century Club.
Some former students contribute to the
Clayton Williams Jr. Alumni Center
building fund. Some former students
donate enough money to have buildings
named after them. One former student.
Ford Albritton, even had a bell tower
built in his name.
The Albritton Tower, the Clayton
Williams Alumni Center and the Cen
tury Club are fine symbols showing the
former students’ support for 'Texas
A&M but they do little to benefit the
students currently going to school here.
That’s why I propose the Karl Pal
lmeyer Commemorative Bell Tower.
I plan to graduate one of these days
and I would also like to become rich and
successful. I would like to give Texas
A&M something that would both bene
fit the student body and be an mon
ument to myself.
The Karl Pallmeyer Commemorative
Bell Tower will house the following fea
tures:
•A digital clock. Most people can’t
tell time oh a real clock so this will be an
advantage over most bell towers
•A synthesized noise maker. Instead
of having a boring set of bells the syn
thesized noise maker will make a differ
ent noise each hour. The synthesizer
can sound like cars, animals, sirens,
gongs, and just about anything else. Ev
ery hour will have a surprise sound.
•A 10,000-car parking garage. If
there is one thing this campus really
needs it’s more parking spaces.
•An electronic scarecrow to scare off
the birds and keep them from messing
up the sidewalks around the Academic
Building.
•A students’ bank. This bank will be
open 24 hours a day and will not require
a minimum deposit on checking ac
counts. You will be able to cash any
check from any bank, even if you don’t
have a local account.
•A satellite dish. With this dish we
can offer free cable service to the stu
dent body so that they won't have to be
screwed by McCaw.
•The Aggie Student Pub. This pub
will give A&M students and faculty a
nice, quite place to have a few beers.
This pub could do wonders for student-
teacher relationships.
•An ice cream store. This ice cream
store will serve good quality ice cream
like the creamery used to until it was
shut down due to budget cuts.
• KARL-FM. A radio station that will
offer real rock ’n’ roll instead of the ju
nior high school pop music that the
other local stations offer. KARL-FM will
have a new department that is struc
tured to teach broadcast journalism stu
dents as well as deliver the news.
•KARL-TV. A TV station that will
offer quality programing and will be
used to give practical experience to
those looking for a career in television,
just like Channel 15 used to do until
their budget was cut.
•Dr. K’s. A club that offers good
beer and good live music at low prices,
just like Dr. G’s used to until they had to
close down.
The bell tower should be built right in
the middle of campus so that everyone
can benefit from it. It should be built
over Sully so that he won’t have to suffer
the weather and the freshmen who want
to polish him.
I hope the Karl Pallmeyer Commem
orative Bell Tower will show the Former
Students, Regents and Administration
thdt generosity can be beneficial as well
egotistical.
Karl Pallmeyer is a senior journalism
major and a columnist for The Battal
ion.
iviiiiiiiiiiiiimiii
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•rK’irmilR
The Mailman is cornin’ to town
By ART BUCHWALD
Columnist for The Los Angeles Times Syndicate
(Whilst Art Buchwald is on vacation
we reprint some columns from the
past.).
POST OFFICE THREATENS TO
CUT DOWN DELIVERIES TO
THREE TIMES A WEEK — newspaper
headline.
It had to happen. In the year 1990
the postmaster general went on tele
vision and announced to the country
that because of a $900 billion deficit and
Congress’ refusal to permit him to
charge $5 for a first-class stamp, the
American people would receive their
mail only one day of the year. This
would be known as Mail Day and would
be considered a national holiday. He re
gretted the decision but assured the
American people that they would still
receive the best service of any postal sys
tem in the world, and he promised that
with only a few exceptions no one would
be inconvenienced by it.
At first people were angered by the
news, but pretty soon they accepted it as
they have everything else the U.S. Postal
Service has done to them.
In a few years Mail Day became as
popular as Christmas, and the excite
ment built up as the day came near.
Little children were told that if they
were bad the Mailman (he was pictured
as a man in a blue uniform with a long
white beard) wouldn’t bring them any
Records-of-the-Month. Department
stores hired men to play the role of
Mailman, and men and women and chil
dren would sit on his knee and tell him
what they wanted for Mail Day.
People decorated their doors and
windows with old birthday and get-well
cards and put colored lights on their
mailboxes.
There was a great spirit of goodwill
associated with the holiday. Doormen
and elevator operators and building su
perintendents became kinder and more
attentive. People greeted each other by
saying, “Have a Merry Mail Day.” Char
ity organizations raised funds on the
streets for poor people who had no one
to share their mail with.
Fraternal groups got together and
walked through the streets singing Mail
Carols. The churches and synagogues
stayed open on Mail Day Eve so people
could pray for letters from their chil
dren.
When youngsters asked where the
Mailman lived, their parents told them
he lived at the North Pole and he spent
the entire year canceling stamps on let
ters and packages so he could leave
them on Mail Day morning for them.
When they asked how he delivered the
mail, they were told he put it in bags and
came down the chimney when everyone
was sleeping. But if there were a dog in
the house, he would pass it by. Everyone
locked up their dogs on Mail Day Eve.
On the morning of Mail Day the en
tire family came downstairs and opened
their bags of mail. Mothers got all the
bills; fathers got all the newspapers and
magazines that had piled up for the
year. There were letters and postcards
and birthday cards and Christmas cards
for everyone. Grandmoihersil
grandfathers opened their Sociali
rity checks. Children gleefully
open the junk mail with four-c
logues and appeals from Indiann
vations that didn't exist. Thereweitl
packages from stores and mails
houses and tax returns and alumni!
appeals.
It took all day for people too[x
mail. In the evening relativescameij
exchange canceled stamps
Mail Day dinner. Every TV netwo
on a televised football game, andlj
Como had a special Mail Day Tj
gram.
For 10 years Mail Day was tM
exciting day of the year. Bun
January, 2000, the postmaster I
appeared on television andsaidi
cause of of rising costs and a ST
deficit the post of fice would bei
to deliver mail once a year as ill
in the past.
In tne future, he said, maihvoi
delivered only one day duringleapj
He felt that in this way the
could operate with more efficiend
still provide the services that soi!
people depend on. But he warneJl
if Congress did not raise the prktl
first-class stamp to $49 a letter,ihej
of fice would have to take mored
measures, which included onlyi
ering the mail once every 200yea[i|
Ags blessed with a-door-able personalities
Trent
Leopold
Guest Columnist
Doors really are
nteresting. Most of
is encounter them
lai 1 y, but we pay
ittle attention to
hem.
There are sliding doors, electronic
loots, revolving doors, double doors,
rap doors and plain old everyday nor-
nal doors. There is even a band called
[ he Doors.
Every door has a personality — a lot
like people do.
At Texas A&M we Aggies should
consider ourselves privileged to be able
to encounter a variety of doors. Where
else in the entire world can you find Ag
gie doors except here?
My favorite doors were the heavy
doors leading into Rudder Tower. But
they replaced those this past summer.
Those doors were substantial. They
had real character and true substance.
They were a lot like an older person
who was full of significance.
It was fun to watch people going
through those doors. They would grab
the handle with one hand and give a
little yank — expecting the door to
swing wide. But the door wouldn’t
budge until they gave it a genuine pull.
I suppose people got tired of having
to give those doors a genuine pull so
United Feature Syndicate
that’s why they were replaced with flim
sier doors that only needed a slight jerk.
. In a lot of places you have to go
through two or three doors before you
finally get where you are going.
Consider the Blocker Building. If you
go in the front door you take about
three steps and then have to go through
another door. Then, if you are going to
class you have to go through one more
door.
But let’s suppose you have to go up
stairs and visit your professor. Then you
have to go through at least five doors,
and that’s counting the elevator doors
. only once.
The designer the Blocker Building
must have owned stock in a door com
pany.
By far the. doors that get the most use
are the doors at the Memorial Student
Center. On a busy day the doors never
really close. One person holds the door
while two or three others follow and
when he finally lets^ go of the door it
never really shuts all they way until
someone else holds it for two or three
more people.
Usually the guys hold the door for
the girls and that’s kind of nice.
Someone one day decided to invent
revolving doors. Those doors really
aren’t popular. The Blocker Building
has some of them, too — further proof
that the building’s designer was a door
company stock holder.
Revolving doors are too complicated.
You have to be able to get in and out at
just the right time or you could get into
real trouble.
Trent Leopold is a senior journalism
major and a Senior Staff Writer for The
Battalion.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member ol
Texas Press Association
■ Southwest Journalism Conference
The Battalion Editorial Board
Rhonda Snider, Editor
Michele Powe, Managing Editor
Kay Mallett, News Editor
Loren SteFfy, Opinion PageEdiior
Karen Bloch, City Editor
Travis Tingle, Sports Editor
The Battalion Staff
Assistant City Editors
Kirsten Dietz, JerryO
Assistant News Editors
Cathie Anderson,JanP
Assistand Editorial Page Editor...
JohnHii
Assistant Sports Editor
ChareanWii
Entertainment Editors
Cathy Riely, WalterSi
Staff Writers ....Tamara Bell, MegCadifjj
Ed Cassavoy, Ann Cenq
Michael Crawford, Cindy 1“
Doug Hall, Paul Herd
Tammy Kirk. JensKirf
Trent Leopold, MaryMcWhoijj
June Pang, TriciaF '
Lynn Rae Povec, MarybethRo
Gigi Shamsy, Kenneth^
Copy Editors Mike Davis,-Rebecca W
WendyjoM
Make-up Editor : .EdCass
Columnists Cami Brown, MarcyB^
Patiif*
Morning Editor ,JohnH»
Photo Editor ...Wayne(ira
Photographers Greg
Anthony Casper, FrankH#]
Kyle Hawkins,JaimeL'r
Michael Sai»
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B ryan-CoIlege St a don.
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