Page 2/The Battalion/Thursday July 25, 1985
OPINION
lili;
Nuke exchange:
handle with care
President Reagan signed a nuclear cooperation pact between
the United States and the People’s Republic of China Tuesday.
The agreement paves the way for American sales of nuclear re
actors and other technology to fuel China’s nuclear program.
China says the technology will be used to develop a commer-
ical energy program, not to enhance its existing nuclear arsenal.
But China has not signed the 1969 Nuclear Non-Proliferation
Treaty which is designed guard against the spread of nuclear
weapons. China also refuses to conform to the International
Atomic Energy Agency’s safeguards on commerical reactors and
fuel.
Before Congress signs Tuesday’s agreement it must explore
all angles of the situation. The pact is designed to promote coop
eration between the United States and China and will undoubt
edly be a shot in the arm for the American nuclear industry.
However, U.S. Intelligence reported last year Peking was
aiding Pakistan in developing nuclear capabilities. Pakistan has
had several disputes with India in recent years. If the agreement
is hastily approved by Congress without a thorough investiga
tion, our aid could be abused. While China is already in the nu
clear business, it could be supplying less-developed countries
with our atomic goods.
Congress also has a responsibility to the world to curtail the
proliferation of nuclear arms. Our exchange with China is not
granting nuclear powers to a country, it is merely a business
transaction between to countries who already have nuclear capa
bilities. We must make sure that the new agreement does not in
advertantly become more than that.
The Battalion Editorial Board
Life as an answering machine
My ‘phony’ summer vacation
By ART BUCHWALD
Columnist for The Los Angeles Times
Syndicate
(What Frank Sinatra and Art Buch-
wald have in common is that people
prefer their golden oldies.)
MARTHA S VINEYARD — What I
did on my summer vacation:
I was a telephone answering service.
Only people who have children be
tween the ages of 14 and 30 will appre
ciate what an important function I
performed.
I always started after dinner as soon
as my daughter Jennifer asked, “Can I
use the car?”
“What time will you be back?” I
asked.
“Not late. If Debbie calls tell her I
went with Tony over to Mike’s, and if
she doesn’t get us there we’ll be at Da
vid Crohan’s Bar in Oak Bluffs.”
“I gotcha,” I said, writing it down.
Half an hour later the phone rang.
“Is Jenny there?”
“Is this Debbie?” I asked.
“No, its Sarah. And she was sup
posed to meet me at the Cafe du Port
in Vineyard Haven,” she said.
“Well, she went with Tony over to
Mike’s.”
“Which Mike?”
“She didn’t say which Mike. Is there
more than one?”
“There are three. If she calls back
tell her I went to the party at Ben’s.”
“The party at Ben’s. I’ve got it.”
Fifteen minutes later the phone rang
again. It was Ben, who wanted to tell
Jenny about the party.
I explained that she was with Tony at
Mike’s, but was going to David Crohan’s
Bar.
“Well, if Angel calls,” Ben said, “tell
him I need ice and wine.”
“Why would Angel call?” I asked.
“To find out where Tony went.”
“I gotcha,” I said, writing it down.
“Tell Jenny about your party and Angel
about bringing ice and wine. Do you
have any message for Debbie?”
“Who’s Debbie?” Ben said.
“I don’t know, but she’s supposed to
call Jenny and I’m to tell her she’s with
Tony and they went over to Mike’s and
then they’re going to David Cohan’s
Bar.”
“Well, don’t tell Debbie about the
party because I don’t know how many
people will be with her.”
“My lips are sealed,” I promised.
1 got into a hot tub when the phone
rang again.
The party on the other end asked for
Jenny.
“Who’s calling?”
“Gordon Manning.”
“You can find her at Mike’s, David
Crohan’s Bar or Ben’s party, depending
how lucky you are.”
“I’m calling from New Hampshire.”
“That’s too bad. There’s lots of great
things going on here,” I told him.
“Well, will you tell Jenny I’m coming
down on Tuesday and ask her to leave
my beach pass with Ellen in Edga
town? But tell her not to tell BetsyIj
coming. You got that?”
“Of course I’ve got it. You thinM:
a dummy? Listen, I have to getoffi
phone because I’m expecting a i
from either Debbie or Angel or they,
lice in Chilmark, depending howlut
/am.” 1
I started to worry about why Del
or Angel hadn’t called. I was watc
Johnny Carson when the phone
again.
It was Jenny. “We didn’t gotoDji y
Crohan’s. We’re at the Phillips’in Li
bert’s Cove.”
“Now you tell me,” I said angrily,
verybody’s trying to find you, with! |
exception of Debbie, who never(|
led.”
“She’s with us,” Jenny replied.
“And where the hell is Angel:
wanted to know.
“He went back to Boston.”
“Do you realize Ben was countinjl:
him to bring the ice and wine lolj
party? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I couldn’t get to a phone. Whod
called?”
“Naval headquarters. They
to tell you report back to your ships |
mediately.”
“Dad, are you drunk?”
“Not yet, but by the time you;
home I will be.”
L
Poke odds choice
Which Coke is it?
I think life just
got confusing for
many Americans.
I understand
that the American
Way ended for
many of you when
the new and im
proved Coke re
placed the old and
passe Coke.
Cheryl
Clark
I saw people
who had been consuming caffeine for
years go cold turkey just seconds after
they had their first taste of the new
Coke. I figured college enrollment
would decline this fall because students
had lost one of their major sources of
'late night artificial stimulation. I imag
ined that rum sales dropped when peo
ple realized that a rum and Coke just
didn’t taste the same. I had friends who
checked into the room prices at the
Betty Ford Rehabilatation Center to
treat the withdrawal problems they were
experiencing from lack of Coke.
Somehow those invigorating Coke
commercials didn’t seem the same,
knowing that Coke was changing an
American classic. I mean all those sing
ers and dancers seemed so happy drink
ing the old Coke. How could they get
the same uplifting experience from the
new Coke? Bill Cosby seemed so sincere,
but did he really prefer the new taste of
Coke? If he did, why didn’t he say more
wonderful things about the great new
taste of Coke? Instead he just sat there
with a funny look on his face.
But America, you begged for the
“Real Thing” to be revived. I know seve
ral people who screamed for a revival.
Coke received more than 1,500 phone
calls a day from die-hard fans who re
fused to give the new Coke a chance.
Angry fans formed clubs across Amer
ica, refusing to drink any Coke product
until the old Coke was brought back.
Old bottles of old Coke became a valu
able collector’s item for the people who
had the foresight to stockpile a supply.
So like a phoenix rising from the
ashes, Coca-Cola Classic was reborn.
Yes, the “Real Thing” returned. It’s the
same formula in practically the same
can. Coke just added the word “Classic”
to the label.
You don’t realize that your trouble is
just beginning. You see Coke is about to
encounter a serious distribution prob
lem. There just won’t be enough foun
tain dispensers, shelf space and soft
drink machines to carry all the wonder
ful products Coke makes such as the
standard (or “new”) Coke, Coca-Cola
Classic, the new Cherry Coke, Diet
Coke, Sprite, Tab or its other products.
Fountain dispensers usually have
four spigots to distribute the soft drinks.
Most fountain dispensers prefer to
carry more than one brand of soft drink
like Coke. They carry other brands like
Dr Pepper, 7-Up, root beer or orange
drink. Heaven forbid, some soda foun
tains have even been known to distrib
ute Pepsi. When you order a Coke, what
are you going to do if it isn’t the type of
Coke you want?
Grocery stores have a limited amount
of shelf space. The competition for this
space between soft drink distibuters is
intense to say the least. Coke is adding
two more products to its line, Classic
Coke and Cherry Coke. Where will the
stores put the new products on an al
ready-filled shelf?
Will the Coke machines that say “En
joy Coca-Cola” mean the new Coke or
the old Coke? Think how much bigger
the machines will have to be to carry the
new Coke products. When the talking
Coca-Cola vending machines start to
sing “Have A Coke And A Smile,” which
Coke will they be referring to?
Beside the distribution problems,
Coke will encounter some marketing
woes.
What will Bill Cosby promote? The
new or the old Coke? He really liked the
old Coke, but he promised America that
the new Coke was much better. Cosby is
an important endorser for Coke. What
will the company make Cosby drink?
What if he really liked the old Coke bet
ter? What if he decides he likes Jell-O
Pudding more than the new or old
Coke?
If all those people are singing and
dancing for the new taste of Coke, does
that mean no one will sing and dance
for the old Coke? They used to sing and
dance for the old Coke. Does the new
Coke make you want to sing and dance
more than the old Coke?
But you thought the world would be
rosy again when Coke announced the
revival of the old Coke. You thought life
would become bearable onde you had
you old Coke to consume. You cancelled
your room reservation at the Betty Ford
Rehabiliation Center.
Do you see the problems you are
about to encounter with your beloved
soft drink? I wish you the best of luck in
finding the “Real Thing.” Me, I’m going
to keep on drinking Dr Pepper.
Cheryl Clark is a senior journalism ma
jor and a columnist for The Battalion.
Mail Call
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The fireman’s side
EDITOR:
In regards to all those Ags concerned
with firefighters on “your” campus,
which is state-supported, we believe
some of you may have some brains, but
unfortunately many of you have no
common sense.
The time wespend here learning how
to save lives and property could effect
you someday.
Most firefighters here are volunteers
at home and are spending their money
and vacation time to learn something to
take back and benefit their community.
At a conservative estimate, the 2,900
people here for Municipal Fire School
ispend at least $1.5 million for food, tu-
iition, lodging and extras.
How many of the students here have
jjobs that depend on people from out of
town coming to Texas A&M for schools
and seminars? How many teachers and
staff are hired to teach these schools?
How much grant money does this
school receive for research pertaining to
firefighting techniques and materials?
To those of you who have a negative
attitude, such as Richard Lee, a senior in
engineering at A&M, I would be
stumped on whether to save your life or
the front yard.
It’s too bad God didn’t bless these
people with respect and courtesy for
the visitors who are here for just a
short time.
Along with the “rude” firefighters,
there seems to be a number of A&M
students who were not trained at
home about sleeping in public areas,
keeping their feet on furniture and
parking bikes in the right places,
among other things.
Some of the behavior we have seen
in the MSG area is reminiscent of a
bus station.
Are the firefighters the only per
sons who violate traditions? What
about the law enforcement, agricul
ture and new students who attend
A&M for schools and seminars?
You folks have a very fine school
and a lovely campus of which you
rightfully should be proud.
We look forward to coming here
each year and would enjoy it much
more were it not for the attitude of
persons such as Mr. Lee.
Tommy Tomlinson
accompanied by 45 signatures
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Soutli west Journalism Conference
The Battalion Editorial Board
Kellie Dworaczyk, Editor
Kay Mallett, John Hallett, News Editors
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Travis Tingle, Sports Editor
The Battalion Staff
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Katherine H : ’j
Assistant News Editors .....
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,Copy Editor Trent Leof 1 *
Make-up Editor EdCassa'*;
Columnists Cheryl CiJ ! '
Karl Pallnro 1
Photographers Greg
Anthony Or
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