Page 2/The Battalion/Friday 19, 1985
No-pass, no-play
not meant to harm
Education should be the primary goal of this nation’s
schools. Period.
Education isn’t the only goal, but it’s the most important.
The no-pass, no-play eligibility rule is an attempt by the state
legislature to put education in proper perspective in schools.
Now some high school athletes are looking to defeat the pur
pose of the rule by taking easy classes. A high school football
player from Plano said he might drop physics and trigonometry
from his schedule because he is afraid of failing the classes. An
other football player said he wants to major in business but won’t
take a computer class if he thinks he’ll have trouble passing it.
While easy-class insurance may be good for the athletic part
of teenagers’ lives, it does nothing for the academic part.
What happens to these athletes after sucessfully completing
their “passable” schedules and receiving high school diplomas?
One, they could continue their education and enter college
courses with fundamental knowledge of the subjects. Two, they
could enter the job market armed with a high school diploma
and no understanding of “hard” subjects, severely limiting their
job qualifications.
Not all high school athletes are paddirtg their schedules with
cush classes. Some athletes have the right idea about education.
“If you want to excel in sports, you should put out that little ex
tra in yourself to do well in the classroom, too,” said an all-state
placekicker from San Antonio.
Some coaches are vowing to do whatever is necessary to help
athletes pass classes. Some are setting up study hall programs.
Some are telling their players that no-pass, no-play is to be taken
seriously.
Other coaches are making illogical connections to the rule,
“Somebody is going to be killed because of that rule,” a coach
from Dallas said. “If a kid drops out of school because he can’t
play football, and he robs a 7-Eleven and shoots somebody,
that’s a direct result of no-pass, no-play.” This inadequate casual
relationship is reminiscent of the 18th century belief that edu
cating women would lead to the total degeneration of the family.
No-pass, no-play deserves the support of coaches, students
and society. It’s not designed to punish athletes, or anyone else
participating in extracurricular activities. It’s aimed at educating
children, and after all, students aren’t the only ones who pay
when education fails. Society eventually pays by having mem
bers that lack the necessary tools to operate in an advanced and
technical world.
The Battalion Editorial Board
What’s a vacation
without any noise?
By ART BUCHWALD
Columnist for The Los Angeles Times Syndicate
“Is this the Noise Pollution Authori
ty?”
“Yes, it is.”
“This is RED 142. I’m on vacation at
Tashmoo Pond and I haven’t heard any
noise all day long.”
“Just a minute, let me check the book.
You were supposed to have a crew cut
ting down a dead tree in the next yard at
6 o’clock this morning.”
“Well, they didn’t show up, and I
slept until 8 o’clock. I’ve felt rotten all
day.”
“Did a private jet fly over your house
at dawn?”
“No. I haven’t heard a plane all
morning. What kind of an authority do
you people run when a guy can’t get suf
ficient noise to satisfy his basic vacation
needs?”
“We’re doing the best we; can. We put
you down for a bulldozer to clear the
land behind your house, but we had to
send it over to Lesley’s Pines because the
couple there only rented a house for a
week and claimed priority.”
“You people should have enough pol
lution devices to satisfy everybody. New
York City does.”
“We’re not New York. As matter of
fact, our authority couldn’t stay in busi
ness if we didn’t have noise pollution
volunteers available for a large percent
age of our work.”
“I’m sorry. We city people are used to
getting noise when we want it. Look, the
silence is driving me crazy. I sit on my
porch in my rocking chair and all I hear
are the tweeting of birds and the occa
sional voice of the turtle in the land.”
“Did the boy show up with his electric
hedge cutter at the Tiltons’? He was
scheduled to be ther from 2 to 5 when
your were taking your nap.”
“He did not. I complained to Bob Til
ton and he said it was none of my busi
ness when he has his hedges cut.”
“Bob’s very much against noise.
We’ve had complaints about him befo
re.”
“It’s 6 o’clock and I’m having guests
for drinks. Why don’t you send over a
garbage truck so we can’t hear ourselves
think?”
“We don’t send out garbage truck
crews after 5 o’clock. Would you con
sider three or four motorcycles revving
updn your front of your house?”
“At this stage I’m willing to take any
thing.”
“Wait a minute, I misspoke. The dis
patcher said we had an emergency.
There is an old lady in Oak Bluffs who
just got home from the hospital and he
sent the Hell’s Angels there.”
“You must have someone who can
disturb the peace.”
“We have a bunch of beer-drinking
college kids who will play hard rock out
side your bedroom window. But they’re
booked up until Friday.”
“This is the worst summer I’ve ever
had. I’ve been here 10 days and spent
three of them in utter silence.”
“Please don’t exaggerate. We sent out
a road crew to dig up your street yester
day.”
“They used their pneumatic drills for
four hours and then broke for lunch. I
don’t call that noise.”
“The authority is doing the best it
can. Everybody wants noise pollution
when they are on vacation. But no one is
willing to pay for it.”
“I don’t want you to tell me how
tough your life is. All I care to know is
are you going to send someone to get on
my nerves or aren’t you?”
“If you don’t tell anyone. I believe I
have good news for you. They’re going
to start building a condominium across
the street from you next week, and it
should take two years. The noise from
digging a new foundation will be
enough to drive you up the wall.”
“I’ll believe it when I hear it with my
own two ears.”
GU.DETO,
TEXAS
MANDATORY
SEAT BELT
LAW:
LAP
BELT
To get to Mars, human family
must put aside squabbles
A long time ago
a now-forgotten
band named
Three Dog Night
did a song called
“The Family of
Man.” “So hard,
whatever are we
cornin’ to?” the
song went. The
family of man is
not a happy fam
ily. The members like to squabble a lot.
The United States and the Soviet
Union maintain the greatest sibling ri
valry within the human family. Each re
fuses to allow itself to be outdone by the
other in terms of power or technology.
Every scientific breakthrough is a
chance for more competition.
The two have challenged each other
in everything from arms races to relay
races, but nothing seems to quench their
desire to best the other. Perhaps their
greatest battle has been the space race.
The United States and the Soviet Union
are locked in a stalemate in this competi
tion. The U.S. got to the moon first, but
the Soviets hold the endurance record.
Now the two rival superpowers in the
family of man are faced with the possi-
blity of leaving this planet and setting
foot on another, millions of miles away.
Mars may be within man’s grasp by the
turn of the century.
Unfortunately, costs for such a mis
sion would give the defense budget a
run for its money. Deke Slayton, vet
eran of the Apollo-Soyuz mission ten
years ago, suggested the Martian explo
ration would be easier and cheaper if
both governments pitched in.
Slayton’s idea is a logical solution to
the problem, but can the hatchet that
separates the United States and the So
viet Union be buried long enough to
complete the mission? Can the long-
running sibling rivalry between the two
governments be laid to rest?
We have to try. The family of man is
on the brink of the greatest scientific ad
vancement of the Space Age: setting
foot on another planet. For centuries
men of all nations have dreamt, philoso
phized and prophesied about fltt
to another world.
We have the technology, allti
stands in our way is politics-sot
terrestrial disagreements thatarepi
fully insignificant in space. Sps
doesn’t understand our prejucfa
doesn’t care. It’s offering us i
chance to gain untold knowled
about our universe. We would
foolish to miss that chance becaust
political squabbles. Space doesn’u
derstand them, either.
Obviously, the U.S. and the Son
Union cannot set aside their dffi
ences and act like best friends.Bui
must overcome our prejudices in
der to share this scientific achift
ment. No one said it would beeai
but we owe it to humanity to try.
Loren Steffy is a junior joumlii
major and the Opinion Page Edit*
for The Battalion.
IT I gladly pay you a year from
Tuesday for college today
Once upon a time
there was a young
man named Fred
J. Alpheratz.
Fred was a
cook, a very good
cook. His special
ity was hamburg
ers, the very best
hamburgers in the
world.
One day Fred
decided that he
should try to make money by selling his
hamburgers. He talked to a rich man
named Winston Z. Marmoset and he
agreed to help Fred sell his hamburgers.
Fred and Winston developed a plan
to sell Fred’s burgers. They would open
a very nice restaurant, the nicest burger
joint in the world, in which they would
sell Fred’s hamburgers. They called
their product The Alpheratz and Mar
moset Ultra-burger, or TAMLT for
short.
They would charge four dollars for a
TAMU.
Fred and Winston opened their res
taurant and became very successful.
Soon many people from other states
and countries found out about Fred’s
hamburgers. They would come for
miles and miles for a TAMU. Fred and
Winston saw how many “foreigners”
were visiting their restaurant and they
decided to charge them $40 for a
TAMU.
Some of these “foreigners” would pay
this high price because they couldn’t
find a hamburger quite like a TAMU
anywhere else. Others would use special
“coupons” to help them afford the price
of a TAMU.
One day many years later, Fred and
Winston were looking over their books.
They thought that they weren’t making
as much money as they would like. They
hadn’t raised their prices in several
years so they thought they could make
more money if they charged more for a
TAMU.
But Fred and Winston got greedy.
They saw that people would pay a lot
for Fred’s hamburgers so they raised
their prices by 200 percent. Now local
people had to pay $12 for a TAMU.
“Foreigners” had to pay $120 for a
TAMU. Fred and Winston also did
away with most of the special “coupons”
so the “foreigners” had to pay the full
price.
After awhile the new prices started
to take effect. Fred and Winston
started losing lots money. It seemed
as if they were charging too much.
People may have wanted a TAMU
but they could only afford to pay so
much for it. The Alpheratz and Mar
moset Ultra-burger became a thing of
the past.
The preceding was just a fairy tale.
Fred J. Alpheratz, Winston Z. Mar
moset and the Alpheratz and Marmo
set Ultra-burger don’t exist in the real
world. But the situation that Fred
and Winston faced does.
A little while ago the state legis
lature, which operates Texas A&M
University — or TAMU for short —
looked over its books and thought
they weren’t making as much money
as they w'ould like. They hadn’t raised
their prices in several years sot they
thought they could make more
money if they charged more to go to
TAMU.
But the state got greedy. They saw
that people would pay a lot for Texas
A&M’s diplomas so they raised their
prices by 200 percent. Now in-state
students have to pay $ 12 for a TAMU
semester hour. Non-resident stu
dents have to pay $120 for a TAMU
semester hour. Texas also did away
with most of the scholarships so the
non-resident students have to pay the
full price.
In the fall the new prices willtal
effect. Texas A&M is expected tolo
money instead of making moH
Maybe they are charging too mud
People may want to go tq TAMU I*
they can only afford to pay somm
for it. Texas A&M University mayl*
come a thing of the past.
Karl Pallmeyer is a senior jourt
lism major and a columnist forU
Battalion.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
The Battalion Editorial Board
Kellie Dworaczyk, Editor
Kay Mallett.John Hallett, News Editors
Loren Stef fy, Editorial Page Editor
Sarah Oates, City Editor
Travis Tingle, Sports Editor
The Battalion Staff
Assistant City Editor
Katherine Hurt
Assistant News Editors
Cathie Anderson, Trent Leopold
Entertainment Editors
Cathy Riely, WalterSniitl 1
Copy Editor Trent Leopold
Make-up Editor Ed Cassavo),
Editorial Policy
The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting ncv/spip
operated as a community service to Texas A&M ^
B rya n - College Station.
Opinions expressed in The Battalion arc those of ll*
Editorial Board or the author, and do not ncccssariljtf
resent the opinions of Texas A&M administrators, hew
or the Board of Regents.
The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaperfo
students in reporting, editing and photography cliW
within the Department ot Communications.
The Battalion is published Tuesday through Friday^
ing Texas A&M regular semesters, except forholiffim
examination periods. Mail subscriptions are $16.75 pert
rnester, SW.25 per school year and $35 per full year. M
vertising rates furnished on request.
Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed McDon^
Building, Texas A&M University, College Station, ft
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vertising: (409) 845-2611.
Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 778tt
POSTMASTER: Sepd address changes to The Bud
ion, 'Texas A&M University, College Station, Texas 770
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