Page 8/The Battalion/Wednesday, June 5, 1985 SPORTS Unusual trends may dominate summer sports By ED CASSAVOY Sports Writer Another sports summer has be gun with a whimper. Because I ad mit to finding little of interest occur ring in the local area, I will move to the sphere of broad sports trends. I guess these muggy, lazy days in College Station — the kind that make moss grow on the north side of your body — have gotten me into a more philosophical mood than usual. And so I feel a little more pro found than usual, daring to predict future trends and events in the world of sports. • First, the Texas Rangers will trade their entire team to San Anto nio for the Gunslingers. The new San Antonio Rangers will immedi ately roar to first place. The only question remaining, in what sport? • Carl Lewis will not sign a con tract with the San Francisco 49ers ^s a wide receiver. I’m sure Joe Mon tana is taking a deep sigh of relief. • The new “Twin Vision” dome light system, already receiving rave reviews from the Minnesota Twins, will be copyrighted and the new company be flooded with orders. Of course the trend-setting Twins out fielders, sporting sunglasses to help cut down the glare indoors, will im mediately put out their own de signer frames. • In Chicago, Wrigley Field will still have only day games. But the Cubbies begin playing night games on the streets surrounding the field. They do have nice lights, but no ivy- covered walls. • Muhammad Ali will astound the sports world by insisting on mak ing a comeback to regain his heavy weight crown. Unfortunately (de pending on how you look at it) he picks wrestling, not boxing. “The Missing Link” promptly pile drives Ali into the mat, thus ending a glori ous comeback by “The Greatest.” • A new cable channel will ap pear called “Late Night Bowling and Comedy Cable” where all the bowl ers will look and sound like David Letterman. Each bowler will be re quired to do a “dumb, but in” two ‘VI new cable channel will appear called "Late Night ble % where all the l>owlers will hx>k and sound like i>a vid Letterman, 1 : . SIS' minute monologue before each game. LNBCC organizers are confi dent that it will be syndicated by the fall to all major Icelandic markets. • The NHL, hoping to regain a slumping Canadian market share will institute a new pregame warmup to increase fan interest in the Great White North. Each team member on both teams will be required to chug six Molson Goldens, and then they will be expected, after the brews, to try and name all the Canadian play ers in major league baseball. • George Steinbrenner will once a^ain try to attract media attention with another PR ploy. This time, Steinbrenner plans to break the world record for continous sports job firing by firing Billy Martin as manager of the Yankees until the end of time. It is rumored Georgie was heard to mumble, “Ripley’s Be lieve It or Not, here I come.” • The revamped USFL, search ing for the crowds to fill its teams stands announces they have a new schedule and team locations that USFL officials are boasting, “will have 300,000 to 400,000,..uh fans, flocking through the turnstiles each weekend.” USFL planners are still working on the sticky problem of ex plaining the concept of a two point conversion to Antartic penguins. League officials are optimistic that this new Northern Lights schedule will be ready by the spring ice break up. McEnroe frolics on French court TVNl Associated Press PARIS — Playing on his least favorite surface and in a tournament no American man has won in the last 30 years, top-seeded John McEnroe swept into the semifinals of the French Open tennis championships Tuesday by halting a stubborn challenge from Sweden’s Joakim Nys- trom. The talented left-hander from New York now will face fourth- seeded Mats Wilander — his third straight Swedish foe — in his bid for the title on the slow, red clay courts at Roland Garros Stadium. McEnroe, ranked No. 1 in the world and the reigning Wimbledon and U.S. Open champion, outlasted Nystrom, the No. 7 seed, 6-7, 6-2, 6- 2, 3-6, 7-5 in a 3-hour, 32-minute battle under a blazing sun and 100-de- gree temperatures. Wilander, who captured the French Open in 1982, dashed French hopes when he oustea unseeded Henri Leconte of France 6-4, 7-6, 6-7, 7-5. In the women’s singles, the semifinals were completed when second- seeded Chris Evert Lloyd, a five-time French Open champion, crushed fellow American Terry Phelps 6-4, 6-0 and now will play 15-year-old Ga- briela Sabatini of Argentina, the 14th seed, who eliminated No. 4 Man- uela Maleeva of Bulgaria 6-3, 1-6, 6-1. Defending champion Martina Navratilova will face No. 7 Claudia Kohde-Kilsch of West Germany in the other semifinal. The men’s semifinal field will be completed on Wednesday when de fending champion Ivan Lendl of Czechoslovakia plays unseeded Martin Jaite of Argentina and No. 3 Jimmy Connors faces no. 14 Stefan Edberg of Sweden. Although his game against Nystrom was sprinkled with occasional brilliance McEnroe failed to sustain the high standard he always sets for himself. The steady, unspectacular Swede was content to feed on the American’s frequent errors, and although he fell behind in the begin ning of the match, he never appeared to be out of it. Nystrom forced his way back by taking the fourth set and had the match in his sights when he broke McEnroe’s serve to grab a 3-1 lead. But McEnroe, seemingly able to shift gears and pull out those mag ical shots whenever they are need, abandoned all caution and unleashed a series of shots, ripping off four straight games to take a 5-3 lead and serving for victory. But Nystrom still was in the chase. He saved a match point with a spectacular service return, broke back, then held his serve for 5-5, in creasing the pressure on McEnroe. It was the Swede’s final shot. McEnroe had been too close to victory to let it slip away again, and he closed out the match when Nystrom sliced the ball wide. “I’m Just glad I won it,” McEnroe said. “There were a lot of ups and downs, and I feel good that I hung in there and won a tough fifth set.” INGL ton Celti Worthv are a del coaches the NBA I?, “Rare Johnson supersta are beco series,” C Tuesday Wednesc The L best-of-7 McHale, who scoi on 10-fc Sunday, while, sc in the s when th< John McEnroe (above) moves into the semifinals of the 1985 French Open. No American man has won there in 30 years. game am r “Ther can guar no one i Bates not ready to blast Guns’ follies Tati:: I hope this short list of coming summer sports attractions has every reader out there drooling with antic ipation. If not, just pray for the start of roller derby season. Associated Press SAN ANTONIO — Former San Antonio Gunslingers coach Jim Bates says he’d like to tell all about his experience as mentor for the troubled United States Football League team. But Bates says franchise owner Clinton Manges still owes him pay- checks extending through Nov. 29. “I’d like to tell you what I really think,” Bates said. “But until then (when he collects his salary), for me to blast them, I’d be out of bounds. I’d hate to say anything. I’ve got a wife and kids to support. I’m sort of in a hard spot.” Bates resigned suddenly May 18, just hours before the Gunslingers were to take on the Oakland Invad ers in a home game. He had led the team to a 3-9 record. He has remained unemployed since then, but said he is pursuing another coaching job at a major col lege or as a National Football League assistant. “I probably will get back in foot ball,” Bates told the San Antonif Light newspaper. “But it’s hardllu time of year. T his is as toughatim as there is for employment. Everv body’s set.” Bates said he is puzzled aboutwhi’ interim coach Gil Steinke, who tod over after he resigned, is stayiiii with the team. Steinke finished a successful & reer as coach at Texas A&l befon taking the head coaching job in tht iii Wm m wm m mm m M BOSS BIRD TAKES AVOW. “Ah do solemnly swear that you, ah say you, will be Plump, flavorful chicken cooked up light n crispy in the natural goodness of pure vegetable oil. Fresh rolls baked from scratch (we were the first). Lots of real country honey—not those piddly little packets of artificial stuff. Honest-to-gosh brewed tea, iced to a refreshing chill. Plus extras like cole slaw, potato salad, big french fries, mashed potatoes and gravy, com on the cob and jalapeho peppers. That’s the terrific kind of meal you’ll find at Tinsley’s Chicken ’n rolls. Ask anybody if it isn’tjso. Ask Boss Bird. 8 pieces of chicken and 8 rolls. Regularly 87.08. 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