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Cioixld I
By CATHY RIELY
Staff Writer
What are people’s reactions
when a strange man walks up
and pries into their lives and
personal belongings? My as
signment this week — to find
the answer to that infamous
David Letterman question —
“whatcha got in the bag?”
Mv mother warned me never
to talk to strangers, so 1 was
thrilled when a kind, but possi
bly misinformed, soul otlered
to help. (Did he really know
what he was getting himself
into?) His job, the notorious
Mr. Curious; and mine, the in
conspicuous reporter who is
furiously taking notes while
hiding behind a potted plant.
Apprehensive at first, I was
starting to get into the spirit of
things. Armed with a tape re
corder, Mr. Curious and I
headed over to the Blocker
Building with our adventurous
and inconspicuous staff pho
tographer. Our job, to capture
the excitement of the event, on
tape and on film. And that we
did.
Our first victims, two
women innocently chatting
outside the Blocker Building.
u Hi there. I'm Mr. Curious
and I was just wondering if you
girls are just standing around
waiting for class, or just stand
ing around talking for the hell
of it, or what?”
“We’re just standing here
talking.” (so what’s it to you?)
“Those are really nice shoes
— did ya’ll buy those shoes
here in town or did you buy
those shoes in Houston or
something?”
“Dallas.” (they looked like
thev were from Dallas)
“What’s that ribbon thing
stand for there?” (a sorority in
signia of sorts)
“It’s to remind me to wash
my clothes. Reallv we should
go.” (definitelyannoyed)
“Are ya’ll busy — do you
have to run off'right now?”
“Yeah, we do.”
“Well it was reallv nice talk
ing to you — my name’s Mr.
Curious and look for it in the
Battalion — okay?”
“Sure.” (these girls obviously
thought Mr. Curious was tning
a new pick-up line)
On to our next prey...
“Hi there. I’m Mr. Curious.
Are you just kind of sitting
around waiting to go to class or
what?” (I want to know what
the “or what" could be)
“Uh — yeah.” (these words,
accompanied by a nen'ous gig
gle, lead me to believe that this
was not a speech communica
tions major)
“Do you sit out here a lot?”
“Uh — no.” (need I say
more)
“On days like this I would
think you might go inside or
something. It’s not exactly the
sunniest day or anything.’’
“Uh — I’m just waiting to go
to class.” (either this man is
nervous, or has a remarkably
small vocabulary)
"What class?”
"BANA 217.”
“Are you a BANA major or a
business major or...”
"Looord no.”
“What are you majoring in?”
"Ag. Eco.” (I rest my case)
Now we move on to a more
serious sort.
“Hi there. I hate to bother
you when you’re in such a se
rious mood. You look like
you’re contemplating some
thing serious. Mind if I ask you
what it is?”
Are those 501’s by any chan
ce?”
“Uh — no, they’re not.
They’re just plain old blue
jeans.”
“What is the polar bear? (in
stead of an alligator) What
store has the jtolar bear?”
“I reallv don’t know. I got it
fora present.”
“Your mom gave it to vou,
right?”
“No, actually I think one of
my aunts did this time.”
“What’s your major bv the
way?”
“MBA.” (the man has an
MBA and all his relatives dress
him)
Now we’ve finally found
someone who can b.s. as much
“I’m just kidding.” (he fii
nally admitted to us) “Mv
shorts — where did I get these:
— a place in the mall. What if
this for?” (the first person tc
(juestion our motives)
“This is for the Battalion.”
“Pat Magee’s, Pat Magee’s.”
“Nice shorts. You ever beenj
to Hawaii?”
“Nope-
“Well, why are you wearina
a Hawaiian shirt?” (the b.s. b<*4
gins)
“Whv am I wearing a Ha4
waiian shirt? Hawaii is — is a|
state of mind, you see. It's inj
vour heart, okay? And you catij
take just a little piece of Hawaii]
with vou wherever vou go. Thisj
is just an outer manifestationj
of some inward, you know,!
mental content. It's obvious.”!
(it s getting deep)
“It's not exactly a Hawaiian!
kind of day though.”
“No -y- but as I said — the;
weather is an outward man-1
ifestation of God’s mental con-j
tent, not my mental content.]
My mental content is Hawaii;!
it’s beach, it's windsurf, it'sj
women, it’s this t-shirt.”
“Okay, a question for you.”!
(to his friend) “Is he always!
this full of shit, or is this just]
for me?”
“I believe it's just for you.”
“Well that’s nice to know.”
This next query probabm
started a fight.
“Hi there. I’m Mr. Curious]
and I’m just out here asking!
people questions today. I was]
wondering, have you two beenj
dating long?”
“A little while, well about
two months.”
“Two months, that’s pretty]
good. A nice-looking young
couple. Do you ever plan on
getting married, or is that too
far in the future?”
“We haven’t thought about it!
vet.” (butyou can bet it’s going]
to come up in conversation]
soon)
Mr. Curious
“Uh — we're doing some ac
counting research. I’m just
thinking of something we have
to work on.”
“Looks like a lot of numbers
there — looks like you’d have
to be pretty serious to do all
that stuff. I’m Mr. Curious and
I just thought I’d ask you a cou
ple of questions. Those are
reallv nice shoes — where’d
you get those shoes?”
“We got 'em in San Anto
nio.”
“We got ’em in San Anto
nio?”
“Of course — I always have
my mother come pick out mv
stuff for me.”
“That's reallv nice to know.
as Mr. Curious.
“Hi there. I'm Mr. Curious
and I'm just out here asking
people questions today. So, if
you don't mind answering a
few questions...”
“No problema, no prob-
lema.”
“First of all, where did vou
get those shorts?” (some sort of
large birds print)
(It was at this point that our
victim began chattering in sev
eral different languages, or so
it seemed. After five minutes or
so of non-communication, it
was finally determined that we
were being had. Our victim
only spoke one language
fluently, English.)
Finally, our last victim.
“Hi there. I’m Mr. Curious!
and I’m out here asking people I
questions today. I was wonder-1
ing if you'd mind if I asked you I
a couple of questions.”
“Not really.” (as he’s run-1
ning to get into the building)
“Are you on your way to I
class?”
“Yeah — I’m going to En-1
glish right now.”
“Is your last name really Ea-1
gle or is that just...” (referring I
to the cadet’s nametag)
“That’s reallv it.”
“Is that an Indian name?”
“English.”
“Well, that’s really interest-1
ing. Thanks a lot.”
And thanks to all the won-1
derful people who helped out I
— and remember, it’s all in I
fun. \