^Entertainment
Thursday, July 26, 1984/The Battalion/Page 9
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How To California
by JONATHAN ROBERTS
Dell Trade Paperbacks
$6.95
By ROBIN BLACK
Senior Staff Writer
They’ve finally done it.
They’ve revealed the secrets of
the stars and anyone else who can
be identified with Southern Cali
fornia.
Yes, in the spirit of preppy
how-to books and other vital self-
help manuals, there is finally a
book on the stands that can help
the average, non-Californian
achieve that very blond, very laid-
back image that seems inborn
among native of Los Angeles and
its vicinity.
The book — by naturalized
Southern Californian Jonathan
Roberts — is a guide to an 11-
week crash course on How To
California, and covers such essen
tial areas as cars, fashion, surfing,
sex and the Whole Mellow Thing.
There are some characteristics
that go unmentioned among true
Southern Californians (SCs) —
being blond, for example. There
fore, Roberts stresses throughout
the manual the importance of be
ing—and becoming — blond (but
always insist the sun did it, he
says).
Just as important as being
blond is being tanned. The true
SC has a perpetual tan, usually es
tablished on weekdays at the
beach in order to avoid embar
rassment on the weekends, when
important people might be
around.
Another important lesson is
The Stoplight Pickup, or how to
get a date or more with the prom
ising individual who happens to
pull up next to you at a red light:
1. Make eye contact to establish
whether the other person has po
tential.
2. Try to make verbal contact
by rolling your window down or
getting tne other person to roll
his down.
3. Roberts suggests using some
oblique opening Fine like “Wanna
have lunch?”
4. Make a date (good luck).
Roberts also reveals just how
important it is that the non-SC
should never, ever come across as
being “hyper.” Southern Califor
nians, he insists, never get ex
cited. Or if they do, they never let
you know it.
Also included in the how-to
book is an especially useful sec
tion on Jacuzzi etiquette, with
such tips as: DO NOT take off all
your clothes if no one else in the
tub is doing so; DON’T pee — it
doesn’t dissipate the way it does
in a big pool — they’ll see it;
DON’T dive — there is no deep
end. And finally: It is NOT
CUTE to put the cat into the
whirlpool.
Rooerts is even kind enough to
include a SC glossary in the back
of the book, so when you become
an SC you can sound like an SC.
The book is effective — it takes
an almost-honest, tongue-in-
cheek look at the stereotype that
is attached to people in Southern
California (probably partially
true), and Roberts manages to
carry it off in a very dry, tasteful
manner.
Roberts — is not new in the
how-to game — he conceived and
co-authored The Official Preppy
Handbook and has been a con
tributing writer to The New York
Times and The Village Voice.
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Review: high-tech
‘Electric Dreams’
too cute to stand
By SHAWN BEHLEN
Staff Reviewer
“Electric Dreams” is, in a word,
cute. The klutzy hero is cute. The
leading lady is cute. The computer’s
voice is cute. The computer’s gpaph-
ics are cute. The-computer’s actions
are cute. Et cetera. Seeing this film is
like being force-fed about two cups
of sugar.
The plot, what there is of one,
concerns a love triangle with a girl, a
guy and his computer. Miles is an
up-and-coming architect who
spends his spare time working on his
favorite project: inventing, an anti-
earthquake brick. Pretty exciting.
Miles does have a couple of small
problems, though. He is clumsier
than Chevy Chase in a comedy skit
and Gerald Ford in real life com
bined. He is also terribly unorga
nized and can never get anywhere,
including work, on time. So, he buys
a computer. The computer, how
ever, is not just any computer. Miles
purchases Edgar, the latest in top-of-
the-line technology.
He takes his new toy home, mis
spells his name so that Edgar ad
dresses him as Moles (how cute) and
hooks it up to every gadget in his
high-tech apartment. Edgar takes
control.
About this time. Miles gets a new
neighbor — Madeline — a concert
cellist who has just moved into town
to play with the local orchestra. Miles
falls in love with her and so, even
tually, does Edgar.
From there, we have numerous
scenes in which Miles and Edgar
fight for control of Madeline and the
apartment. These are interspersed
with scenes in which Miles and Ma
deline discuss commitment. Scat
tered through all that are several
MTV video dones.
The high point of the film is new
comer Lenny Von Dohlen. Even
though he had little to work with in
this film, he has created a character
that you can’t help but like and cheer
for. Think of a cute and friendly,
but kind of nerdy Yuppie, and you
have the Von Dohlen version of
Miles. We will definately see more of
this guy in the future, but, hope
fully, he will have better material.
As the ads for “Electric Dreams”
loudly proclaim, it is brought to us
by the director of Michael Jackson’s
“Billie Jean” video. It shows. The vi
deo is great, but it’s also only a cou-
f »le of minutes long. The film, un-
ortunately, is quite a bit longer.
“Electric Dreams’” only real suc
cess is its visual appeal; it looks ex
tremely slick and classy. Otherwise,
it wears fairly thin. Not even the mu
sic, by Culture Club, Philip Oakey of
the Human League, Heaven 17,
Giorgio Moroder and others, is
memorable. The premise of the film
is just not strong enough to hold our
attention for nearly two hours.
And that is unfortunate. With a
stronger script for Von Dohlen to
work with and more non-video
scenes for Edgar (such as the hysteri
cal one in which he calls Dr. Ruth
Westheimer, the noted sex therapist,
to ask what love is), this film could
have been a slick comedy with se
rious comments on society’s current
love affair with computers. As it
stands now, thougn, “Electric
Dreams” is nothing more than a very
long ad for MTV.
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Movie about ‘Bear’ Bryant to premiere Sept. 20
United Press International
BIRMINGHAM — The world pre
miere of “The Bear,” a movie chro
nicling the life of the late University
of Alabama football coach Paul
“Bear” Bryant, will be held Sept. 20
and will benefit the American Paral
ysis Association.
Kent Waldrep, a former Texas
Christian University running back
who was paralyzed as a result of a
tackle in a 1974 game against Ala
bama, said Embassy Pictures would
donate about $250,000 from the Bir
mingham premiere to the APA.
1 The research foundation was
founded five years ago by Waldrep,
who is its president. He said during a
news conference Wednesday at Le
gion Field, where he was injured,
that premiere proceeds would go to
ward a Bear Bryant Fund.
Ben Collier, an APA board mem
ber and chairman of the board of
National Industries in Montgomery,
presented Waldrep with a $15,000
check representing the sale of the
first VIP table for premiere patrons.
“This fund will bring in the dol
lars necessary for the research to get
us out of these wheelchairs,” Wal
drep said. “It’s going to be through
events like this premiere that we’re
going to whip this thing.”
Bryant and Gov. George Wallace,
who was paralyzed in a 1972 assassi
nation attempt, were both honorary
APA directors. Waldrep said he and
Bryant became close friends follow
ing Waldrep’s spinal cord injury on
Oct. 26, 1974.
“It was so special that he took the
time to pursue a close relationship
with me,” Waldrep said. “He was
that way from the time of the acci
dent until his death, always calling
me on the phone, filling me in on
what the team was doing, keeping
up with how I was getting along.
Bryant died at the age of 69 in
January 1983, about three weeks af
ter retiring from coaching following
a Liberty Bowl win over Illinois, a re
cord 323rd career victory.
After the coach’s death, his family
and movie producer Larry Spangler
disagreed on aspects of the filming
of “The Bear.” As a result, most of
the movie was filmed at Agnes Scott
College in Atlanta instead of at Ala
bama.
Part of the disagreement report
edly concerned the selection of actor
Gary Busey to play Bryant. Waldrep,
who saw the movie at a Dallas
screening last week, said Busey did
as good a job as anyone could por
traying Bryant.
“I think he did the role justice,”-
Waldrep said. “He was under tre
mendous pressure, playing a legend.
Who could play Bear Bryant? To his
family and friends, that’s not going
to be Coach up there on the screen,
but we will always have our special
memories of him that no one else
will.”
Waldrep, 30, also said he didn’t
agree with critics who believe Span
gler’s version of Bryant won’t reveal
any of his human faults.
“I think a lot of people don’t think
he was a human being,” Waldrep
said. “Bryant was a bit bigger than
the average person. But the film is
about more than that. It’s about the
love he had for people, God and
country.
“I can’t think of any film like it,
except ‘Rocky,’ and that was about
human determination. ‘The Bear’ is
the story of a man who was bigger
than life. It’s a story about building
character.”
The $8 million film directed by
Richard Sarafian was financed by
Worldwide Capital Management
Inc. of Dallas and will be released
Sept. 28 to 700 theaters in the South
and West, with plans to release it to
another 700 in tne East and Midwest
on Nov. 16.
A second premiere is scheduled
for Sept. 21 in Memphis, Tenn.,
where Bryant coached nis last game
in the 1982 Liberty Bowl.
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Meryl Streep
Roy Schneider
f
EYEWITNESS
The Last
S«HI Of
The Night
Sigourney Weaver
William Hurt
You're never more vulnerable
than when you’ve witnessed a
murder
Unicorn
A unicorn fights to save her
race in this animated tale
Thursday, July 26
Friday/Saturday July 27 & 28
Sunday, July 29
A family deals with
death in
Ordinary
People
Singin’ In
The Rain
Gene Kelly and Debbie
Reynolds dance their way into
the era of talking pictures
N*A*S*H
Elliott Gould
Donald Sutherland
Monday, July 30
Tuesday, July 3 I
Wednesday, August I
COOPED
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If you’ve been nesting in one of the A&M dorms,
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