Thursday, May 3, 1984/The Battalion/Page 3B fillAiUthor says young career women find life lonely ^United Press International a CHICAGO — Young career |fc«lVomcn are finding life lonely 'W'Vicl are turning to marriage id children, author Megan ion of rekft hal1 sa ^ s ' as “Orea^B 16 new g eneratlon grew up ting” a women s liberation and j usl||( xual liberation — with free will to nourish a career instead .edfroni^'y- „ iilion t0i T' beir mothers, love was n'Lhmg in a woman s life, r ’ ys the author of “The Cost of ovine: Women and the New nimunicati^" 6 dial harastj e,” she said. Fear of Intimacy.” “Mother found out who she was by getting married to a man, taking his name and hav ing his children,” Marshall said in a telephone interview. “But the daughters of those women really felt that their mothers were missing out on a lot ... had no separate identities from their families. They com plained their mothers were ter rible role models and very de pressing to them. “They really rejected the no tion of love being important at all. Suddenly what was impor tant in life was developing a ca reer, proving you could live by yourself, support yourself and be independent.” When this new generation reached their 30s, they found themselves a little lonely and wanting love, Marshall said. One successful woman law yer said: “I don’t want to make ‘partner’ and come home to an empty house.” “The women were getting somewhat disillusioned from their jobs and realizing their job wasn’t everything,” the author said. Marshall’s book is based on 40 case studies of women, age 25-40, in Boston, New York City, Washington D.C., Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles and San Francisco. “There was a kind of epide mic of fear of intimacy that was holding women back,” she said. They were afraid of losing themselves, had nightmares of being suffocated, and feelings of claustrophobia. They were willing to make commitments to a career, but ran away from men. They had found an identity in their work and proved they could take care of themselves. “They were afraid that new self would just go away if they got married,” she said. They just assumed they could get married and have children when they wanted to. But women in their 30s find a short age of men, Marshall said, or men who are marrying younger or less professional women. Marshall found men also were getting tired of career women. “Often they were the ones who really wanted deep and committed relationships. And they were frustrated with going out with women who were more willing to put Lime into a career than a relationship.” However, she thinks the trend is reversing. “They’re finding in their 30s that they have really paid a dif ferent price — that all this worry about commitment and fear of intimacy really has shrunk their horizons in a way that they never expected,” Mar shall said. “I think that it’s kind of sad because in a lot of ways these are the women who are best prepared to have good mar riages — if they would let them selves.” uick depression cures offered Is with “tlit! mdling tin, itering sudl United Press International SACRAMENTO, Calif. — 1|e - s hfiapist Sheila Sugarman has n n| Cf list of quickie cures for one of Ihat shcsiiB” 10 * 1 P er ™ sive I and , P er - stem ol seli-mllicled maladies she wacff P re f on - , Not all cases ol depression ^Belf-inflicled or can be self- eited, but for those that are ■ IM v ‘ sed: AM I / “T ouch five people a day. 1 If'all to five people a day. Help MI\Heone do something. Make Heone happy. Send a card to B-iend. Work at the food ^Et downtown. Visit a sick Kid or an old person. Call a Hid. Treat someone to din- pay theli parades i and plaque lother dis re than i i j^lso do something physical, igether “Walk, run, dance, jog, bow), wim. Get physically tired doing omething you enjoy each day,” hebaid. “Of ten people who de- iress themselves do not move heir bodies. Exercising causes m ov (T Jj? linternal chemical reaction andlboB tends to temper depres- igadne: 10n f read i:| he bee ming allege. Finally, she said, try keeping a daily journal of personal feel- ings. “It may not be real nice to say, ‘I depress myself,’ but it’s wonderful to know that, be cause guess who can get you out?” Sugarman, 39, a licensed family counselor who holds a master’s degree from California State University, Sacramento, cautioned that there are differ ent kinds of depression and not all of them are induced by self generated negative thinking. Some are the fault of hormonal changes, internal chemical im balances or catastrophic occur rences such as a death in the family. But other depressions can be come habits that run in cycles and last for years. Some people harbor ideal ized or “perfect” images of themselves that they cannot live up to, Sugarman recently told an all-female class arranged by Sacramento’s Learning Ex change. When that happens, she said, reactions can be disas trous. “If I’m not perfect, then I’m despicable,” is the way some people react, Sugarman said. Failure to live up to impossibly high standards can trigger a devastating cycle of mental self abuse. “There is anxiety, because they’re overwhelmed by sad ness, anger, hatred and they’re scared. They really feel bad. They’re not making this up. So they become people-pleasers and seek reassurance from oth ers because they know they’re not OK. If they were OK, they’d be able to handle this. “When they don’t please ev eryone, they go back into the cy cle again. That’s probably how it started in the first place, try ing to please someone. “Every time you evaluate yourself harshly, you can jump in the direction of depression. You can make your life miser able by feeling bad about your self because you’re not doing red his fid on. ‘T real guys mf mg for anish designer making Splash in United States United Press International r, 1978,1 CHICAGO — The adage narath ilxjut clothes making the man 3ok st :oukl not be further from the tie "ss-Philosophy of designer Bech rom N fi pjoiiiassen. He thinks they re- jfect the man. Hi don’t believe clothes make >nal acconM man >” the Danish-born de- 1980ifg{ ler “I like the man to record lr enL ily w i , -l 1 l l ie clothes he is □meterinBring- I hke my clothing to lancko | x P ress l'* 5 attitude of living —a vie realinHp 011 confident with himself, a master is what he is and he knows I981he(ff he is - class i:H^ or me d s vei V important ■stieim or detbes to be casual,” he •athonjjKh adding that “relaxed, cas- n LonthH an( l elegant” best describe nd Honoip tlesi 8 n philosphy. pH ■'homassen, 35, is now hieving wider recognition in I United Stales as a designer, et he smiles when he hears iimself described as “up-and- :oming.” s he puts it: “They’re finally opening their eyes to my direc tion.” Thomassen has designed clothes professionally for 15 years, although his unofficial career began in childhood when he designed and made ward robes for his sisters and their dolls. s . , He studied at the Fashion and Industrial Aft Schdof of Design in Copenhagen, and in the early 1970s established him self as a designer of women’s clothing. Working for Birger Chris tensen Furs in Copenhagen, he designed a fur coat for Den mark’s Queen Magrete II, as well as numbering among his private customers Marlene Di etrich and Josephine Baker. Thomassen came to the United States in 1976 and set up shop on the West Coast, where he specialized in men’s clothing. “It’s a bigger challenge in America to cater to the American man, to bring my Eu- He for calls his designs women “an expression, an ex tension, of my men’s clothes, but not unisex. I really cater to a person who is all together.” Thomassen moved from San Francisco to New York last year to integrate his European back ground and training with his concept of the American way of life. The New Album xT OP T T Reckoning IRS. Cassette or IP through May 9 In 1983, R.EM. ’s “Murmur” was voted the year’s Album in the Rolling Stone Critics Poll, #2 in the Village Voice Critics Poll, #1 Top Debut Album in The Record, among many others. But that was last year. This is the year of “Reckoning.” FYoduced by Don Dixon and Mitch Easter, On I.R.S. Records and Cassettes, Marketed by A&M Post Oak Mall Record Bar RECORDS, TAPES AND A LITTLE BIT MORE. what other people think you shpuld be doing. “It’s more important that you like yourself. When people be gin to change what they believe about themselves, they actually can change their lives.” Sugarman has taught classes for several years for the Learn ing Exchange, an adult educa tion program that offers about 150 noncredit courses each month. family