Opinion
Page 2/The Battalion/Wednesday, March 21,1984
Speakers excellent
for graduation
Congratulations are in order for
Texas A&M President Frank E. Van
diver and others who scheduled speak
ers for the spring commencement exer
cises.
In a space of two days, Texas A&M
will host the mayor of San Antonio, the
governor of Texas and the vice presi
dent of the United States.
Pretty impressive.
San Antonio Mayor Henry Cisneros,
Gov. Mark White and U.S. Vice Presi
dent George Bush will no doubt be in
teresting speakers, much to the delight
of all those who sit through the gradua
tion ceremonies. A common gripe about
graduation exercises often has been the
monotony of listening to what is ba
sically the same speech every year.
But this spring’s ceremonies have the
potential to be fascinating.
Cisneros, who will speak at the May 4
afternoon commencement, recently was
featured on CBS’s news documentary
“60 Minutes.” Cisneros is a graduate of
Texas A&M, receiving a bachelor of arts
degree in English in 1968 and later re
ceiving advanced degrees in Urban
Planning and Public Administration.
White, who will speak at the May 4 com
mencement, formed the committee on
state public education chaired by H.
Ross Perot that has become the center of
education controversies. Bush, who will
speak at the May 5 commencement, will
be in Texas that day for the state’s pri
mary elections.
It is important for a university as
large as Texas A&M — and one which
has 90 to 95 percent student partici
pation rate and a full house in atten
dance — to have graduation speakers
who have some impact on the world.
This year, we will.
— The Battalion Editorial Board
To'
Momentum overrides
importance of issues
You’re 1;
a9 a.m. pa
tion in a (oi
termined i
space. Un
pickup dri
and claime
The onl
use by hai
there anyv
can come !
you returr
been towed
“We try
tion of p
Schneider,
Police Dep;
Schneidt
continually
check for v
a day and ;
to make sui
If an ille
officer mu:
report. Tin
der and his
Schneidt
not availab
why an ill<
mains park
The Uni
pamphlet li
towed:
By ART BUCHWALD
Columnist for The Los Angeles Times Syndicate
The group from Argyle and Sox Adver
tising Agency was ushered into Senator
Dimblebutton’s ofFice. They were there
to get the account for Senator Dimble
button’s political race.
“Senator,” said the vice president of
AA&S, “we’ve worked on a campaign
that is going to knock your eyes out.”
The AA&S creative VP said, “We’re
going to give you something that your
opponent doesn’t have.”
Two flunkies set up an easel and put
a large white sign covered by a cloth on
it.
“Get ready for this, Senator,” a VP
said.
The cloth was pulled off. There was
one large word, “MOMENTUM.”
The advertising men all looked at the
senator for his reaction.
“That’s it?” the senator asked.
“What do you mean, that’s it? This is
going to get you reelected for the next
six years. Our research people have
been working on this campaign for six
months. The one thing they discovered
that every voter in your state wanted
was momentum. No candidate who has
ever run for public office ever lost a race
if he had it, and no candidate has ever
won if he lost it.”
“How do I get momentum?” the sen
ator wanted to know.
“That’s our job. We’ll run commer
cials, plaster billboards and place news
paper ads, and every one of them will
say that you have the ‘Big Mo.’”
“But where’s the beef?”
“Show him the videotape of the pro
posed TV commercial, Harry.”
Harry inserted a videotape into the
machine.
A runner wearing a big “M” on his
sweatshirt came on the screen jogging
along a freeway. He said, “My name is
Senator Dimblebutton and I’m running
for a third term. If I am reelected I will
give this state something it has never
had before — momentum.” The jogger
started to speed up and passed a car
with a driver who looked exactly like
Dimblebutton’s opponent, and as the
TV commercial ended, Dimblebutton
was 50 yards ahead of his opponent.
“It says it all in 30 seconds,” the VP
said.
“Don’t you want me to do any TV
commercials stating where I stand on
unemployment, the Soviet threat, and
how big interests are taking over the
country?”
“You’d be wasting your money. The
only thing the voter is interested in is a
candidate’s momentum. If he has it they
want to be on his side because America
likes winners.”
“I see your point,” the senator said.
“But aren’t we putting all our eggs in
one basket with a momentum .cam
paign? Couldn’t we have some backup
commercials emphasizing my charis
ma?”
“Charisma is old hat. Look at what it
did to John Glenn. This is new, this is
fresh, and if you don’t mind my saying
so, sir, with your voting record, momen
tum is the only thing you’ve got going
for you.”
“It’s not just the advertising campaign
that will put you over,” a VP said. “The
media is crazy about a candidate who
has momentum. Look at Gary Hart. Be
fore he ran in Iowa and New Hamp
shire no one knew he was in the race.
But after those victories, the press could
talk about nothing but Hart’s ‘M Spot.’
How did the political pundits explain it?
Very simply. They said Hart had mo
mentum and Mondale lost it.”
A vote for the little man
“Okay, you persuaded me,” the sen
ator said. “How much will it cost me?”
“Ten million dollars, including the
jogging suit.”
“That’s a lot of money.”
“Senator, that’s the beauty of momen
tum. Once the lobbyist think you have it,
the campaign money starts dropping
from the sky like acid rain.”
The student body elections are upon
us once more. This has to be — by now
— old news.
If you don’t know elections are com
ing up, you either have been strolling
around campus with your eyes closed,
or you simply have not set foot on this
campus since Sunday night.
You see, in the span of one night
Texas A&M underwent a tremendous
change. You might write a movie about
it and call it, “The Invasion of the Cam
paign Signs.”
These signs spring up, seemingly out
of nowhere, to take over countless yard
age of struggling grass sprouts that
thought spring was on its way. Tow
ering masses of plywood, lumber and
sandbags have invaded this campus,
sparing nothing — not even the grass
that Texas A&M prides itself on.
These signs (some call them bill
boards) will be with us until the election
ballots are in, counted, and a winner has
been declared beyond a shadow of a
doubt.
The Oceanography and Meteorology
Building has seen stiff competition la
tely. This years’ creations are BIGGER,
better, mightier than the ones in years
past.
Gone are the days of simple poster-
board campaigning. In keeping with
this country’s progress — everything
has to be bigger, better, faster, catchier,
jazzier, classier, etc., etc. — the runners
have made thier signs reach for new
heights.
Heights, that is, of eight or nine feet.
These signs, like the oil rigs in Luling
and the tower at Six Flags, have now
taken on such heights that they domi
nate the campus horizon.
Some signs are so big, they have to be
weighted down with sandbags. Every
street corner has become a hard hat
I almost feel sorry for the “little man”
— you know, the one that went “conser
vative” and decided to keep his sign un
der four feet tall and use only two col
ors.
And what about the guy whose dad
didn’t know the first thing about high
speed, high-tech woodworking tools,
and had to do the best he could with a
simple hammer and two-by-fours?
The guy that is an architecture or art
shelley
hoekstra.
to do? Vote for the guy with the
sign?
Since they’ve gone to the extreme I
ready, the very least they could dot Chuck Rc
]orps Conn
a quarter slot on the sign so thatit* iext se meste
play a recorded campaign slop ;ee changes
least then students would get a fee vill lead to
of semi-aquaintance with the panic enewedpric
candidate they listened to. . TheCorpe
' or higher g
nanattemp
I am quite aware of the fact thaic iverage. Th<
paigners use a lot of time ands ive during
leather, traipsing around campus,ii md so cadet
ducing themselves and runt “werthen, F
through their campaign speechesfa s ^ s Jl '
who will listen. ^
Corps’ prese
But let’s be realistic. I; for one Several y<
NOT like having my dorm il University w
knocked on at 7:00, 7:30, 8:00,1 vere " ot a
8:17 ... (GO AWAY!) by camp,, g
who wish to meet me during my st iityi sa bigcl
time. Especially now, just after thesi vRe has s^
of my mid-term grades has finally* movement i
off. wemester ar
them from
t. .... ssue again.
I ve tried to remedy this by putt pades dro
on mv door that
sign on my aoor mat says
paigners, please. I’m studying
Even this does not work, asthekn University’s
major certainly has the advantage over
the animal science major.
Some campaigners have adopted the
logos of well-known establishments,
which catch potential voters’ eyes since
they automatically identify with the de
sign.
persist.
Is this fair? Or, an even more serious
question — is this legal?
When I bring my sign to theattei
of gung-ho campaigners, they mos
ten, somewhat chagrined, say
didn’t notice. Yes, I want to votefo)
person who is the most with-it,
on top of things, the one that n<
what is right in front of his face.
rop
t more difn<
“If grade
might be sai
Corps) hurts
If it is, I think I’ll change my name to
Pearl Beer and run for Dixie Chicken
Senator at Large and see how many
people vote for me in the next election.
P^ftC/WetOA
If you don’t know the person whose
name is on the sign, how is a conglomer
ation of impersonal, painted splinters
supposed to grab your vote? What is one
Help them, help the little greeniP
sprouts, help the/ candidate
smallest sign (who probably spent
time meeting and greeting thannt
and sawing), and help me to underst
just who these bunches of lumkt
supposed to compel me to vote for
Shelley Hoekstra is a junior jf-
Hsm major and entertainment«
for The Battalion.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
Editor Rebeca Zimmermann
Managing Editor John Wagner
City Editor Patrice Koranek
Assistant City Editors Kathleen Hart,
Stephanie Ross
News Editor ....Tracey Taylor
Assistant News Editors Susan Talbot,
Brigid Brockman, Michelle Powe, Kelley Smith
Editorial Page Editor Kathy Wiesepape
Sports Editor Bonn Friedman
Assistant Sports Editor ...Bill Robinson
Entertainment Editor Shelley Hoekstra
Assistant Entertainment Editor Angel Stokts
Photo Editor John Makely
Staff writers Ed Alanis, Robin Black,
Dainah Bullard, Bob Caster,
Bonnie Langford, Christine Mallon,
Sarah Oates, Tricia Parker, Lauri Reese,
Dave Scott, Travis Tingle, Karen Wallace
Photographers .., Bill Hughes,
Katherine Hurt, John Ryan, Dean Saito
Editorial Policy
The Battalion is a non-profit, self-support
ing newspaper operated as a community service
to Texas A&M and Bryan-College Station.
Opinions expressed in The Battalion are those
of the Editorial Board or the author, and do not
necessarily represent the opinions of Texas
A&M administrators, faculty or the Board of Re
gents.
The Battalion also serves as a laboratory
paper for students in reporting, editing' 1 -
photography classes witin the Department
Communications.
Letter Policy
Letters to the Editor should not exceed
words in length. The editorial staff resertti
right to edit letters for style and length bnl
make every effort to maintain the author! 1
tent. Each letter must be signed and fll!# 1
elude the address and telephone number o''
writer.
Reader’s Forum columns and guest edim'l
also are welcome. Address all inquiries toth ( -
itorial Page Editor.
The Battalion is published AM
through Friday during Texas A&M regul" 1
mesters, except for holiday and examination?
riods. Mail subscriptions are $16.75 per I
ter, $33.25 per school year and $35 per full) 1 *
Advertising rates furnished on request.
Our address: The Battalion, 216 Reed-
Donald Building, Texas A&M Universityb
lege Station, TX 77843.
United Press International is entitled ew
sively to the use for reproduction of all new
patches credited to it. Rights of reproduction
all other matter herein reserved.
Second class postage paid at College St0
TX 77843.