Opinion
Page 2/The Battalion/Monday, March 19, 1984
Americans look
for political 'beef
It had to happen. Americans are so
acutely attuned to advertising slogans
and television that it was unavoidable.
“Where’s the beef?” asks the elderly
woman in the Wendy’s hamburger
commercial.
“Where’s the beef?” asks David Lee
Roth, singer for the rock group Van
Halen.
“Where’s the beef?” echo college stu
dents, children and rival hamburger
places.
* The advertising phrase has cap
tured the fancy of America, taking on a
Variety of meanings.
; The latest to pick up the battle cry is
Democratic presidential candidate
Walter Mondale.
In the March 11 Democratic pres
idential candidates’ debate, he chal
lenged fellow candidate Gary Hart’s
new ideas platform, demanding,
‘•‘Where’s the beef?”
His supporters cheered, but the tac
tic backfired on him at a political rally a
few days later.
Mondale told the audience that
there was only one question that
needed to be answered in the Novem
ber election. But before he could state
that question, the audience finished his
thought for him. The chants of
“Where’s the beef?” went on for five
minutes.
Catchy advertising slogans can back
fire just as often as they work. But the
role of personalities, camera presence
and media manipulation in campaigns
continues to be a controversial area.
Mondale’s jump on the “Where’s the
beef?” bandwagon tends to support the
idea that candidates will do anything
for media attention.
The tactic is as old as American poli
tics. It’s not a big step from “Tippeca
noe and Tyler, too” to “Where’s the
beef?”
It seems the American public is still
just as gullible as ever. Until we learn to
take a close look at the policies the can
didates support and where they stand
on the issues, instead of falling for just
another pretty face spouting meaning
less phrases, we’ll elect politically shal
low leaders.
— The Battalion Editorial Board
BEAUTIFUL, GARY BABY/ ^
NOW HOLD THAT ROSE
UNTIL NOVEMBER...
Candyman should die
Halloween just hasn’t been the same
since 1974.
That was the year I learned that
trick-or-treat could be deadly.
Sure, we had all been warned about
accepting candy from strangers, but on
Halloween it was different. Wandering
door-to-door in my southwest Houston
neighborhood, I lost my fear of stran
gers and their treats.
Mom and Dad always warned us to
bring our candy home so they could
check and toss out any funny-looking
pieces. We always heard stories about
people getting pins in candy or razor
blades in apples.
But it never happened to me.
It was trick-or-treat. I was a goblin or
a ghost or a dog — and nothing could
hurt me.
Ronald Clark O’Bryan’s son wasn’t
that lucky. A pixie stick laced with
cyanide ended his life on that 1974
Halloween night. He was eight years
old.
No, it wasn’t a stranger with an evil
sneer who handed him the poison can
dy. Nor was it the family who sucked on
octopus heads and talked with the
Transylvanian drawls who lived in the
dark house on the corner that really
needed to be painted and the lawn that
needed to be mowed. It was Ronald
Clark O’Bryan — the hoy’s own father.
O’Bryan was scheduled to be ex
ecuted on Halloween 1983; he was
granted a stay of execution. After
James “Cowboy” Autry was executed
By Ci
donn
friedman
O’Bryan is on death row in Huntoj
le counting the days until his lethal it
jection is administered. A dateb
been set. But why should 0’Bryan|t
off so easy?
Let’s make his punishment-
reunion with death — fit his crime
First, give O’Bryan the torment]
living a while longer. How doesOc
31, 1984, sound?
On that Halloween, let’s passarouiy
a bag of candy to all the prisoners®
death row, and allow O’Bryan todrei
up in a costume. How about asapris
oner, or better yet, as a loving father!
Then send him from cell to ce|
asking, “Trick or treat?” and never
knowing which.
by lethal injection last week, O’Bryan
spoke to reporters.
“Dying is a part of living,” the candy
man said.
“I don’t want to die any more than
anybody else. But if the execution does
happen, I have the advantage of know
ing when my death will take place.”
Cruel and unusual punishment?
He made his son play the same
game, but the boy didn’t know tht
rules.
O’Bryan’s execution is scheduled for
March 31.
O’Bryan’s son didn’t know when his
death would take place — or that the
reason for it would be to collect on his
life insurance policy.
Donn Friedman is a senior joumi
ism major and sports editor for
Rattalion.
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|By HELE
by ART BUCHWALD
I climbed to the top of the Washington
Monument to speak to the Great Eco
nomic Oracle. I placed a bowl of jelly
beans at his feet.
“What brings you all this distance,
my son?” he asked.
“I am confused,” I told him. “I came
to find the secret of budget deficits.”
The Master stroked his bald head.
“There is no secret to budget deficits.
If one spends more than one earns,
then one must borrow what one owes.”
“I know 1 that. But the question I
came to ask is what does one do about a
deficit that is so large that all the wise
men of the land cannot agree how to
cut it?”
“When the highest type of men see
deficits they recoil at them. When the
average type of men see deficits they
half believe them. When the lowest
type of men see deficits they laugh
heartily at them.”
“But how does one get the lowest
type of men to become the highest?”
“It can’t be done during an election
year,” the Master said, popping
another jellybean into his mouth.
“Why not, oh wise one?”
“Because those who are responsible
for the deficits will not admit they are
bad, and those who take no responsibil
ity need them to attack those who made
the deficits. It is written in the ‘Book of
Politics’ that in an election year one
talks about deficits, but one does not do
anything about them.”
“Why is that, Master?”
“Because to do something about de
ficits is to cause pain. And if one wants
to rule one must promise not to cause
anyone pain.”
“If one does not do anything about
deficits will there not be greater pain
later on?” I asked.
thing more to tax the people. Who is
right?”
“It is this simplicity that makes the
uneducated more effective than the
educated when addressing popular au
diences during an election year.”
“So it is your opinion that nothing
can be done about deficits when a
country is contesting for a new ruler?”
“Nothing of substance. One must
think of the budget as a lovely river.
The deficits are like the snow in the
Input frc
dents and
mountains that no one sees. 0n«
spring comes, the snow melts and bt
comes a torrent of water and the rive!
becomes a flood washing away even Ions with ot
thing that man has built, and therei! ofiheTexa
nothing left but a depression in thtf
land.” L
“You sound like Martin Feldsteen.| tor Hr ^
. . , Bices, said i
I said.
“It’s Feldstein, not Feldsteen," the
Master said angrily. “And don’t you
forget it.”
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“A wise ruler never mentions future
pain when his throne is at stake.”
“How long can one live with deficits
before they cause pain?”
‘Was that your can of shaving lather that exploded?’
“Depending on the size of them, one
year, maybe two, perhaps forever.”
“Doesn’t the ruler know that?”
“Yes, he does. But true words are
not beautiful. And beautiful words are
not true.”
“Master, there are those who say in
order to reduce them, one must raise
taxes and cut back on military spend
ing. There are others who say one must
cut out domestic spending and do no-
.etters: Basketball team deserves more support
Editor:
As a Class Of ’81 member of the Fight-
i’ Texas Aggie Band, I attended every
ome basketball game for four years,
aearheaded numerous road trips for
way games, and saw every SWC tourna-
icnt game and NCAA tournament
ame the Aggies played.
Since graduation, I have been a season
cket holder and have traveled from as
ir away as Alabama for games. This sea-
m, I missed only two home games.
I did not miss the March 6 game with
u. It was the smallest crowd of students I
ave ever seen at a home game. The band
ime close to outnumbering the rest of
ie students.
What’s going on?
Two percenter has taken on a new_
meaning since my graduation. It must
now mean that only 2 percent of the stu
dents care enough to support the school
at athletic functions. It must mean that
only 2 percent know that being an Aggie
means more than just attending class and
wearing an Aggie ring.
If so, it is a sad state of affairs, and
must surely bve a symptom of a much
deeper probvlem. Does it mean that “Old
Army” really has died?
Have traditions been replaced with the
selfish pride of petty individuality? Have
college students become so wrapped up
in their desire to be different from the
masses that they are unable to give two
measly hours of their existence to help
support a team that deserves much more
than that?
I know the players and coaches, and
they are an exceptional group of people.
They deserve much more support than
they have gotten this year.
Tuesday night I was embarrassed for
every person who could have come to the
game, but elected not to.
You missed a good game. You missed
Winston Grite’s best game of the year.
You missed seeing Texas A&M win and
advance to the second round of the SWC
tournament, and you missed seeing t.u.
lose.
Will this apathy carry over to football
season? Prove to me it won’t. See you at
the alumni game...or not.
Wesley Pate
Class of ’81
The Battalion
(ISPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
Editor Rebeca Zimmermann
Managing Editor John Wagner
City Editor Patrice Koranek
Assistant City Editors Kathleen Hart,
Stephanie Ross
News Editor Tracey Taylor
Assistant News Editors Susan Talbot,
Brigid Brockman, Michelle Powe, Kelley Smith
Editorial Page Editor Kathy Wiesepape
Sports Editor Donn Friedman
Assistant Sports Editor ......Bill Robinson
Entertainment Editor Shelley Hoekstra
Assistant Entertainment Editor Angel Stokes
Photo Editor /... John Makely
Staff writers Ed Alanis, Robin Black,
Dainah Bullard, Bob Caster,
Bonnie Langford, Christine Mallon,
Sarah Oates, Tricia Parker, Lauri Reese,
Dave Scott, Travis Tingle, Karen Wallace
Photographers Bill Hughes,
Katherine Hurt, John Ryan, Dean Saito
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