Page 2/The Battalion/Wednesday, October 5,1983
opinion
Editorial: Great schools
are not made with bells
cari stegall
Last week Ford D. Albritton, Class of
’43, announced that he and his wife were
giving Texas A&M a gift of a carillon — a
130-foot bell tower.
The proposed site for the tower —
between the YMCA Building and the
Coke Building where there now is a cir
cular flower bed — has not yet been
approved by the planning and building
committee.
When Albritton presented the Uni
versity with the gift at a recent Board of
Regents meeting, he stated that most of
the great universities in the United States
have one distinctive feature — a carillon.
Great universities do not achieve their
reputations because of bell towers. True,
the tower may enhance the campus sur
roundings, but reputations are built on
the quality of students and research, not
the beauty of the campus.
Albritton also added at the regents
meeting that the tower would be a con
stant reminder that Texas A&M is con
tinuing to strive for excellence.
Students and research, not a bell tow
er, should be the constant reminder that
Texas A&M is continuing to strive for
excellence. But for such a reminder to
exist, the resources to achieve excellence
must exist.
Albritton was indeed generous with
his offer of building the carillon; howev
er, the money could be put to better use
by providing academic necessities. Lib
rary books, lab equipment, research
funds and endowed scholarships all are
needed.
With quality resources, Texas A&M
can be great — even without a bell tower.
Legislators value
their weekends
by Robert Shepard
United Press International
WASHINGTON — In most ways the
U.S. Senate is an eminently unique body,
but it does share a few characteristics with
less prominent groups, including the
TGIF syndrome (Thank God It’s
Friday).
Like office workers, store clerks, con
struction workers, doctors and business
executives, senators are prone to view
Friday afternoon as a time to wind down
from the week’s labors and, if at all possi
ble, make an early departure for home.
Senate Republican leader Howard
Baker was reminded of that fact one re
cent Friday afternoon when the Senate
was stumbling its way through considera
tion of the State Department authoriza
tion bill. As is usual when he is off the
floor attending to other business, Baker
was keeping one ear tuned to a small
speaker in his office where he is able to
follow the floor debate and catch any un
expected problems that might require his
attention.
will take Baker to find out,” he said
round of laughter.
“I do not like to say this, bull do
think there is any way we are goin*
finish this bill today,” he continued. 5 *
Looking to the bill’s Democratic;
Republican floor managers Baker non
“I do not see any energetic shakingof|
head to the contrary.”
Baker then proceeded to undo
tangle that began to develop when
offered his amendment to McCl
amendment. In short order he was
to clear the way for the Senate to d
consideration of the State Departnn
authorization bill until the ft
week and enable all senators to bej
their weekend.
At the time, Sen. James McClure, R-
Idaho, was speaking for an amendment
concerning the Soviet Union’s com
pliance with arms control agreements.
During a pause Senate Democratic lead
er Robert Byrd rose to offer an amend
ment that would put the Senate on re
cord as calling for the firing of Interior
Secretary James Watt, thereby threaten
ing to open a whole new debate when
several senators had already left for the
day.
Perhaps more than avera
citizens, members of Congn
value their weekends because th
often must fly back to theirhon
states or districts to deal with mi
ters there or to campaign for
election. So Friday afternoon
Monday morning sessions th
complicate airline connections^
clearly out of favor.
A few moments later, Baker arrived
on the floor, saying it “suddenly dawned”
on him that the Senate was no longer
talking about the State Department bill,
“and that perhaps I should come to the
floor and find out what is going on.”
“I think what is going on is Friday
afternoon, and I think that what I have
said so many times has proven true once
more — there is not a man or a woman
alive who can make the Senate do some
thing it does not want to do,” Baker said.
“I think what I heard on the squawk
box in my office was the Senate saying we
adjourned, and wondered how long it
The House, it should be noted
similar aversion to working Fridayafti
noons. And Mondays in both chamlx
rarely see any significant bills thatraij
require the attendance of all membetj
Weekends clearly are important
members of Congress and one of
most chilling threats Baker or Hoi
Speaker Thomas O’Neill can make
their respective chambers is that o!
business session on Saturday. Thettin
alone usually is enough to whipthemt
bers into line and allow busines>
completed before the weekend.
Perhaps more than average citiztfl
members of Congress value tk I
weekends because they often must a l<
back to their home states or district
deal with matters there or to camp;
for re-election. So Friday afternooiil
Monday morning sessions that coi
cate airline connections are clearly01
favor.
That is a fact of congressional life;
one that the leaders, such as Baker,
live with.
No joy in the New York Yacht Club lately
by Art Buchwald
I was invited to the New York Yacht
Club for lunch the other day by Welling
ton Spinnaker III.
Since I hadn’t been there before, I
didn’t know what to expect. The lobby
was all decorated in black crepe and
grown men were sitting in overstuffed
chairs, wiping tears from their eyes.
“They seem to be taking the America’s
Cup loss pretty hard,” I said.
“Wouldn’t you if you had lost some
thing that was in the family for 132
years?” Wellington said bitterly.
“It’s just a little old cup. Why doesn’t
the club order a new one from Tiffany’s
to put in the glass case?” I said.
“You apparently don’t appreciate the
significance of the Australian victory. It
means America no longer rules the
waves.”
“It could have been worse. The Rus
sians could have won it. At least Australia
is a stalwart ally.”
“Not in this club, she isn’t,” said Wel
lington. “The New York Yacht Club
members may forget, but they never for
give.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sakes,” I told him.
“It was just another sailboat race. I’m not
much of a sailor but I f igure as long as
you have a good wind at your back and a
case of beer, it doesn’t matter who crosses
the line first.”
“Would you keep you voice down?”
Wellington muttered. “Many of our
members are armed.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know the America’s
Cup meant so much to the club. Tell me,
why didn’t the Liberty use her motor
when she saw she was going to lose the
final race?”
“The Liberty doesn’t have a motor,
stupid,” Wellington whispered in a harsh
“Well, that’s rather dumb, isn’t it?
How did they expect to beat the Aussies
without a motor?”
“Look, would you do me a favor and
shut up if you don’t know what you’re
“Oh, for heaven’s sakes,” I told
him. “It was just another sailboat
race. I’m not much of a sailor but I
figure as long as you have a good
wind at your back and a case of
beer, it doesn’t matter who crosses
the line first. “
voice.
talking about?” Wellington said.
“I may not know much about sailing,”
I said. “But I do know that if you put a
shroud over your keel when you’re in
port, you always have a better chance of
winning a race. Why didn’t you people
put a shroud over your keel?”
“Because we had nothing to hide.
They double-crossed us by having a
winged keel, but they didn’t want us to
see it. I never trusted the Aussies since
Pearl Harbor,” Wellington huffed.
“They say the koala bear is really a
dirty little animal,” I said, hoping to
cheer him up.
Suddenly an old man in an overstuf-
fed chair got up, took a silverplated pistol
out of his pocket and shouted, “I have
nothing to live for any more!”
Two of the younger members grabbed
him. “Easy Josiah, we still haven’t heard
from the protest committee.”
Josiah sat back in his chair and sobbed,
“We had them three to one. They stole
our wind.”
amongst ourselves for the rest ofi
lives.”
“It must be a terrible thing toK
with,” I told him. “But there is alwaj
next time, and I’m sure you peoplci
come up with a better keel by then,
“But in the meantime the Aussiesli!
our cup,” Wellington said.
A member came up. “Did you In
about Tippy Vanderslip?” he said tof
lington.
“What happened?”
“He went up to the Bronx ZoowitW
fii
“I guess you people aren’t too happy
about the ballast decision either,” I said.
Wellington said, “This club will never
be the same again. We’ll be fighting
shotgun and tried to bag a kangarootatai
“Poor Tippy. The last time I talkeBm
him he wanted me to go with him
throw a brick through the plate glass
dow of Qantas Airlines,” Wellington
The waiter came over to take
order.
“How’s the flounder?” I askedlfl
lington.
He didn’t laugh.
The Battalion
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Current presidential candidates
plagued by ‘terminal dullness’
by Arnold Sawislak
United Press International
WASHINGTON — It is probably safe to
say that none of the current crop of 1984
presidential hopefuls has caught the fan
cy of the public.
With the campaign year hard upon us,
a charisma gap seems to be developing as
expressed in a comment heard with in
creasing frequency, to wit: “What a
bunch of turkeys.”
Former Vice President Walter Mon
dale, we are told, is exceeded only in ter
minal dullness by Sen. John Glenn; Sen.
Alan Cranston looks and sounds like a
man who needs a solid meal; President
Reagan is developing wattles and repeats
himself a lot; Sens. Gary Hart and Ernest
Hollings have fine heads of hair but no
one can recall their faces; and who the
heck are former Gov. Reubin Askew and
Vice President George Bush?
There is one theory that this ennui,
first noted in 1976, represents a subcon
scious wish to reinvent John F. Kennedy,
a candidate through whom the middle
aged can recapture fading youth and
vigor and the young can feel involved in
the affairs of state.
Certainly neither Jimmy Carter nor
Jerry Ford were able to project that kind
of feeling and the only folks who got car
ried away in 1980 by Reagan were people
whose salad days coincided with the cel
luloid collar and the automobile rumble
with, and that’s the same group thatj
for facial hair. So, we thought somel
in the way of a neat mustache-'i
look what it did for Errol Flynn.”
seat.
The problem, of course, is image. Bob
Newhart, long before he became a shrink
and an innkeeper, used to do a comedy
routine in which he played the part of a
public relations type giving advice to a
political figure of the past.
It went something like this: “Abe, I’ve
told you over and over, the beard has got
to go. And, listen Abe, wear the shawl I
sent you. It gives you that homey touch.”
It is easy to imagine the same kind of
thing with some of the current presiden
tial aspirants. For example, here might
be Glenn’s “creative consultant” calling
the senator:
“John, we’ve been brainstorming over
here and have a couple of things to run
up the flagpole. Now, didn’t they send a
monkey into space before you made your
flight? How about if we rent an ape and
dress him up in a cute space suit and
helmet ?”
Or this call to the Oval Office:
“Mr. President, we’ve got the solution to
the gender gap. The polls show it’s the
young women you are having trouble
Slouch
by Jim Ear]
l
ib
'i
“I can see that she’s in loi
with you and thinks thatyou !
special in what she’s writto
but why did she address it
‘Box Holder’?’’