Wednesday, May 4, 1983/The Battalion/Page 11
Ming service for herpes victims
it
Quest fills ‘definite social need’
United Press International
LINGTON HEIGHTS,
— Salesman Dan, 27, and
28, a doctor’s office em-
ee, have joined a dating ser-
for herpes victims who want
antic or platonic” com
onship.
fhe Quest Foundation offers
bers 12 “introductions”
a six-month period for $35.
It seemed like there was a
ite social need for it. There
a lot of people out there
iffering with herpes and not
uite sure what to do about it
nd not sure about future re-
itionships,” says founder John
orsythe.
®An estimated 20 million
ricans have herpes, a recur-
viral infection, according to
Centers for Disease Control,
ne herpes strain causes fev-
listers, usually on the lips
ad external nasal openings.
—J|Another, far more dreaded,
Hilly is genital and is transmit-
n Hprimarily by direct contact
H lesions, most often
enereally. Women infected late
Hegnancy may transmit it to
Qp fetus, which could be fatal,
â– he Quest Foundation, as a
Kfor-profit herpes dating ser-
uai ie. began in January in the
iburban Chicago suburb of
101 rlington Heights. It also hopes
<ii!!cHj C t as a support group and
seling service.
Any profits will be donated to
research facilities “in the hopes
of hastening a cure” and anony
mous statistical data “will aid in
forming the necessary base of
information needed to fight this
ailment,” Forsythe said.
“I imagine a lot of the people
who have it end up feeling like
their life is almost over and end
up sequestering themselves
from the rest of society for fear
of giving it to someone else, or
the stigma of having it,” he said.
“We’d like to ease their minds
a little bit and let them know
what the dangers are — and
aren’t — and let them have a
place they can come-to and not
worry about spreading the dis
ease and the stigma,” Forsythe
said.
The response has been favor
able.
“I feel like we’re doing some
thing good for somebody,” For
sythe said. “People were calling
just to say they were glad we
were doing it and just wanted to
ask us questions.”
Mary contracted herpes
three years ago while on vaca
tion at a Mexican resort.
“I had a relationship with
somebody and that was it,” she
said.
“I was angry and depressed
and it sort of put me in a position
of having to change or re
evaluate what I had set up as
goals for the future — getting
married, having children,” she
said. “For a while, I thought that
I would never meet anybody
and get married. And I sort of
put myself out of circulation be
cause of it.”
Mary said she has a “fragile
ego” and hopes the Quest
Foundation will eliminate fears
“When you meet some
body new, there are so
many things that you’re
concerned about... and
then to worry about
what they’re going to
think once you tell them
you have herpes. That’s
a real big pressure. ”
of rejection because she has the
“Scarlet H.”
. “When you meet somebody
new, there are so many things
that you’re concerned about —
are they going to like the way
you look, talk — and then to
worry about what they’re going
to think once you tell them you
have herpes,” Mary said. “That’s
a real big pressure.”
Dan discovered he had
herpes 2'/a years ago.
He had been dating a woman
for several months.
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“When it got time to be hon
est, I thought, ‘If she really feels
something for you, nothing
would matter,’ ” he said. “That
was it. The relationship was
over.
“I guess the person must not
have loved me as much as I
thought. I was kind of naive ab
out honesty, but that’s another
good reason (for Quest Founda
tion). It would knock a lot of
roadblocks out of the way when
you meet people who have the
same problem.”
Mary, who works in a sub
urban Chicago doctor’s office,
went to her gynecologist.
“I had no idea that I had
herpes. I just knew that I had
something going on,” she said.
“I didn’t know anything about
it.”
Mary still has not told her
family.
“No way. There are two girl
friends that know about it — and
that’s it. As far as my parents go,
they still think I’m a virgin. I live
with them and there are a lot of
things they don’t know about.
And that’s fine. It doesn’t affect
them and it doesn’t affect my
lifestyle any way that they know
about.
“I work in the medical field
and if anybody at work knew ab
out it I would not have a job and
they would see to it that I would
never have a job in the profes
sion again,” she said.
Dan, a Chicago salesman,
told of frustrating visits to doc
tors.
“The first two clowns
couldn’t even diagnose it,” he
said. “They wanted to know
more about my affair than what
I had.”
So he went to a clinic because
“they see more of it.”
Dan also did not tell his fami
ly or friends.
“It’s probably the best kept
secret in my life,” he said.
Dan simply told dates he
“didn’t want to get serious. (But)
people, once they get to know
you, they see something’s on
your mind or something’s
wrong.”
Herpes has brought anguish
to Dan, as well as maturity and a
new perspective on life. He calls
himself a survivor.
“It’s a hassle. Other than that,
it’s not the end of the world by all
means,” he said. “Being realistic,
it might have been the worst and
the best thing that happened to
me in a long time.
“As far as women go, I
wouldn’t say I’m not mad at
them. I appreciate them more
because there are times that I
can’t be with one. You really
don’t know how much you miss
(a relationship) until you can’t
have it.”
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