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Page 2/The Battalion/Monday, March 21, 1983
Aggie Rag follows
Deadly Texan legacy
As students all over Texas were await
ing spring break, journalism students at
the University of Texas were fighting a
losing battle.
The group was arguing for the cause
of the Deadly Texan, the annual April
Fool’s edition of the Daily Texan.
The students lost.
The Texas Student Publications
Board voted down the special edition be
cause they said it hadn’t been included in
the paper’s budget.
Although the Deadly T exan stepped
on a few toes last year, the parody will be
missed this year. The satirical issue usual
ly was both entertaining and a valuable
form of criticism.
We at The Battalion decided to put
out a humor supplement of our own this
year — “The Aggie Rag.”
We did not intend to offend anyone —
just elicit a few laughs and stir up some
thought about things we take for granted
here.
Like the Deadly Texan, our issue may
upset a few groups on campus. We hope
that students and faculty will read the
supplement in the spirit in which it was
written.
We dedicate The Aggie Rag to the
would-be satirists at UT.
Poor Nazi fugitive
the pain of it all
by Art Buchwald
I was very disturbed to read in the
newspaper the other day. that convicted
Nazi war criminal Klaus Altmann-Barbie
had to undergo an emergency hernia
operation in Lyon, where he is awaiting
trial for his role in the deaths of hun
dreds of Jews and resistance fighters.
I immediately called the French
Embassy to find out how he was.
“Are you a friend of his?” the embassy
official wanted to know.
“Not exactly,” I said. “But I am in
terested in his health. Tell me, was the
operation very painful?”
“It might have been,” the man said.
“Did he scream a lot? Was he in real
agony?”
“I doubt it. I’m sure the doctors gave
him anesthesia.”
“Oh that’s too bad.”
“What do you mean, that’s too bad?”
“Klaus never believed in anesthesia.
Fie felt a man should be fully conscious
when he was worked over. It would have
been nice of he was awake when the doc
tors did it to him.”
Barbie is a sick man. He has, besides
hernia problems, stomach pain, kidney
disease and a nervous disorder.”
“Poor Klaus. Does his stomach pains
make him wretch a lot? You know, dou
ble over as if someone kicked him with a
boot?”
“I have no idea. Why are you in
terested?”
“No one likes to be kicked in the sto
mach. I know Klaus liked to kick other
people in the stomach, but he never
wanted anyone to do it to him.”
“I don’t understand where this conver
sation is leading.”
“I told you. I’m just interested in Klaus
Barbie’s health and I want to make sure
he’s getting the best medical help avail
able. You say he has kidney trouble. He
must be very uncomfortable.”
“The French doctors are taking very
good care of him.”
“I’m sure of that. But tell them not to
give Klaus any painkillers.”
“Why not?”
“Klaus never believed in painkillers.
He said painkillers dulled the mind and
senses. I’m sure if he wouldn’t prescribe
them for others, he wouldn’t want any
for himself. Tell me about the nervous
disorder.”
“From what we know he can’t sleep at
night.”
“Poor Klaus. He used to sleep so well in
Lyon. Don’t let the doctors give him any
thing to get a good night’s rest. Barbie
always maintained the less you let a per
son sleep, the more willing he was to
cooperate with his captors. Be sure and
shine a light in his eyes all night long. He
likes that.”
“How do you know what he likes?”
“He used to do it all the time to the
people in his care. He wouldn’t have
done it if he didn’t believe a bright light
was good for someone who needed
sleep.”
“Are you a doctor?” the man at the
embassy asked.
“Not exactly. But when someone like
Klaus Barbie gets sick, I like to be of help.
Have the French doctors hit his kidneys
with a night stick?”
“I’m sure they haven’t.”
“They might try it. Klaus always said
hitting a person in the kidneys was a good
way to make him forget his hernia prob
lems.”
“I don’t think the doctors are about to
hit Barbie in the kidneys with a night
stick.”
“I guess not. Maybe the cure is an old
wives’ tale or maybe Barbie made it up
during World War II. What else is wrong
with him?”
“He’s also supposed to have a heart
condition.”
“Poor Klaus. It’s as if his entire profes
sional life has caught up with him. The
man must be miserable.”
“I imagine he is.”
“How miserable?”
“I have no idea. Why is it so important
to you how miserable he is?”
“I just wanted to know how much to
spend on a ‘Get Well’ card.
Slouch
By Jim Earle
“As an adult, I am not obligated to have my midsemester
grades sent home; it’s an invasion of my privacy! But
Mom has made a good point: no grades, no money! 99
Study: Truth about China?
e oi
ir the
d fac u
by Maxwell Glen
and Cody Shearer
In the real world, thousands of newly-
and nearly-born babies have been mur
dered in rural Chinese villages.
But in the academic world of Steven
Westly Mosher, who first reported mod
ern China’s infanticidal habits in 1981,
reality has become virtually irrelevant.
Unimpressed by his methods, Mosher’s
dons at Stanford University bounced him
from the doctoral program Feb. 24.
two names), appeared in a Taiwanese
news magazine in May 1980. Not surpris
ingly, the People’s Republic didn’t like
the story; nor did many American acade
mics, who blamed Mosher for China’s
subsequent restrictions on visiting U.S.
scholars.
Stanford insithat the two-year investi
gation leading up to Mosher’s expulsion
ropea
arses
.‘haeol
(According to the Chinese, Mw ature,
an imported van through resmrketir
and exchanged gifts with villajrrman
formation.) A fe r<
ntswil
• If Mosher acted unethicrF wri) I
standards was he subverting?.\!®v a
all accounts one of Stanforastotip ‘
polony students, says he recewfl
cific instructions on thedo'sane*
Mosher, 34, says his dismissal was a
matter of publish-or-perish. For anthro
pologists at Stanford and social scientists
elsewhere, “unethical” and “illegal” be
havior was the pivotal issue. In the end, a
pox falls on both houses, blemishing
scholars and scholarship.
The case, for now, is closed.
Academic relations with the
Chinese, precious to so many insti
tutions, are on the mend.
Cantonese field work. Sofar.rcP
questioned his research procedi
se. (Stanford’s case isn’t helpecl
fact that it relied on testimonvfrJj
For all those who thought Margaret
Mead’s techniques were anthropology’s
only controversy, a brief synopsis of this
scholarly soap opera may be in order:
was aimed at more than a reconciliation
with its Peking collegues. Last week, it
also said that Mosher’s choice of a less-
than-scholarly journal for publishing his
story was irrelevant to the verdict.
For nine months ending in June 1980,
the former naval officer studied rural
Chinese life in the ancestral village of his
(now divorced) Hong Kong-born wife.
As part of a new scholarly exchange be
tween China and the U.S., Mosher’s re
search was the first of its kind in a country
understandably suspicious of social sci
entists.
“There were numerous violations of
our ethical standards,” said James Fox,
one of the 11 anthropology faculty mem
bers who voted against Mosher,” ... and
they were serious and included illegali
ties.”
people who had a stake in thciH
Mosher's scorned wife and wolr b ’
sors who wanted access to thenuif ^
& been
• If Mosher’s article wasn'tJths C
why did Stanford wait until after!Joe J.
lication to begin investigating:[tor, s;
accounts, allegations of miscoi#babl)
been known for more thanavcir be
:ted b
Unfortunately, the evidence for these
In the course of his field work, Mosher
discovered and documented with photo
graphs the darker side of China’s birth
control crusade: abortions forcibly per
formed on rural women in the third
trimester of pregnancy, newly-born
females killed outright. An illustrated
article on these practices, written under
the byline Steven Westley (Mosher’s first
. iy.
claims lies in a 47-page report that neith
er Mosher nor Stanford will make public
out of fear, each says, of “injuring inno
cent parties.” Nevertheless, until the re
port is made public, a number of impor
tant questions can be raised in Mosher’s
defense:
• If illegal acts occur in a totalitarian
country, does it matter? Had Mosher
been studying in South Africa, would the
“illegalities” be taken so seriously? In any
event, charges first passed by Peking to
U.S. officials hardly seemed damning.
Indeed Mosher’s problemw^qYi'iii
did something extraordinaryforI^ ar |
— he made news — withoutf*t|fo
standard practices. Instead ofc|t pric
an obscure scholarly journal hum
eventually publish his story inpujty;
spected Asian Survey), he chose libs 1 ill
equivalent of Time magazine,«®j[be
story automatically becamepropr e
Even Mosher admits that
dumb. : >whk
The case, for now, is closed.
relations with the Chinese, prea fsbeei
the
many institutions, are on the
But, for many of us, irreparaK
age may have already been dontl
notion of scholarship and pull
knowledge. Emphasis on means?;
equal recognition of the ends.
R '
Reader calls
Alaska beautiful,
magical place
Editor:
Hi:
I would like to respond to the article
pertaining to Governor Mark White and
Alaska. I was surprised at the gentle
man’s ignorance.
I’m wondering who put Mr. White in
charge of making a decision for a vaca
tion site for other people. Evidently he let
his mouth go into action before his mind
did.
I know from experience that Alaska is
a beautiful, magical place. Agreed, it can
only be appreciated by a certain breed of
person. One who desires independence,
simplicity and beauty. I’m sorry to find
out Mark White is “miffed” by such
things. He certainly has my pity.
P.S. In answer to your question on:
“Who would live in such a cold and bar
ren place?” My sister.
Sharon Crone
Former student
USPS 045 360
Member ot
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
The Battalion
Editor Diana Sultenfuss
Managing Editor Gary Barker
Associate Editor Denise Richter
City Editor Hope E. Paasch
Assistant City Editor Beverly Hamilton
Sports Editor John Wagner
Entertainment Editor Colette Hutchings
Assistant Entertainment Editor. , . . Diane Yount
News Editors Daran Bishop, Brian Boyer,
Jennifer Carr, Elaine Engstrom,
Shelley Hoekstra, Johna Jo Maurer,
Jan Werner, Rebeca Zimmermann
Staff Writers
Melissa Adair, Maureen Carmody,
Frank Christlieb, Connie Edelmon,
Patrice Koranek, John Lopez, Robert
McGlohon, Ann Ramsbottom, Kim
Schmidt, Patti Schwierzke, Kelley
Smith, Angel Stokes, Tracey Taylor,
Joe Tindel, Kathy Wiesepape
Copy editors Jan Swaner,
Chris Thayer
Cartoonist Scott McCullar
Graphic Artists Pam Starasinic
Sergio Galvez Thompson, Fernando
Andrade
Photographers .... David Fisher, Eric Lee, Irene
Mees, John Makely, William Schulz
ocimi/.
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