opinion
Slouch
By Jim Earle
‘Black was a poor choice to paint that radar antenna.
Our town
just
plain simple folk
by Art Buchwald
STAGE MANAGER: The name of
the town is Seven Corners. It’s a nice
town, you know what I mean? Nobody
remarkable ever comes out of it as far as
we know. We’re must plain simple folk
here and we can’t claim to be nothing
more than just another town along Route
16.
I better show you around a bit. That
nice white house for sale on the corner
belongs to the Jorgensons. It’s a real good
buy if you don’t mind living over a land
fill of dioxin. Oh, I forgot to tell you.
About 10 years ago, a fellow came
through and sprayed oil mixed with
dioxin on the roads to settle the dust. The
dioxin’s all over the place. That’s why you
see so many “For Sale” signs on people’s
lawns.
Over there is the school, and right be
hind it is where some chemical company
dumped all its PCB in those big oil
drums. The chemical company’s out of
business, and the stuff is now seeping
into the playground. Funny, you don’t
ever see any kids playing there anymore.
Well, as I said, it’s just about morning?
Here’s the mayor. How’s it going
Charley?
MAYOR: Not too good. I been calling
the EPA for two weeks trying to find out
what they’re going to do about all our
hazardous waste. They claim they still
have no idea whether our soil samples are
bad for human health or not. Even if they
find the stuff is unsafe, they said they
can’t do anything about cleaning the
waste up until they do a study. They also
said if their study shows we got a prob
lem, their first concern is to find the che
mical company and make a deal with
them to pay for the cleanup.
STAGE MANAGER: Well, have a nice
day, Mayor. Here comes Doc Gibbs. You
look kind of peaked, Doc.
DOC: I never saw so many sick people
in a town in my life. Them that isn’t sick is
scared silly they’ll get sick. I haven’t slept
in months.
STAGE MANAGER: What’s going on
at the hospital?
DOC: Mrs. Henigan gave birth last
night to a premature baby. That’s the
14th premature baby I’ve delivered this
year. By the way, if you’re still using well
water, be sure and boil it before you let
any of your family drink it.
STAGE MANAGER: Thanks for the
tip, Doc. Fellow over there is Tad Jones.
He’s a farmer and has 100 acres of graz
ing land right next to the Cloverleaf Acid
Pit. You look down in the dumps, Tad.
What’s up?
TAD: Five of my cows died last night.
STAGE MANAGER. What hap
pened?
TAD: I don’t know. They just keeled
over and died, like my dog did last week.
I’m on my way to the newspaper to put
my farm up for sale, if anyone’s stupid
enough to buy it.
STAGE MANAGER: Good luck Tad.
Here comes the editor of the newspaper,
Hiram Bonifal. Hiram knows everything
going on in our town. What’s the big news
today, Hiram?
HIRAM: I just talked to the governor
about our pollution problem. He says
he’d like to help out, but he doesn’t have
enough money to tidy up every town in
the state. He said the feds have a Super
fund just for cleaning up places like ours
and we ought to talk to Washington.
STAGE MANAGER: Well, you can’t
say the governor doesn’t have a good
sense of humor. You going to write
another editorial about the sludge?
HIRAM: I’m too busy talking to repor
ters from out of town, who keep saying
they’re going to put Seven Corners on
the map.
USPS 045 360
Member ot
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Southwest Journalism Conference
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Makely, William Schulz
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77843.
Reader: Sex needs commi
To Steve Patti:
I would like to ask you where your
concern lies with respect to the letter
written by Dannette Heren. Are you con
cerned that perhaps a source of birth
control for minors which attempts to
undermine parental authority is being
restrained somewhat, or are you truly
concerned for the well-being of young
people in our country? I will expand on
what seems to be your concern, deriving
my claims from what you have revealed
about yourself in your letter.
It is true that Miss Heren contends
that “countless minors are sexually active
only because birth control devices are so
easily and secretly available.” You then
say: “I find this state(ment) highly ‘ignor
ant’ for ‘one simple reason.’ Most teens in
high school neglect to use any form of
contraception at all because appealing to
a parent would tend to put them in an
‘embarrassing’ situation.” To use one of
your own terms, you have “missed the
boat” yourself, a fact made evident by
your statement.
In the junior high and high school that
I grew up in, I never did know anyone
who’ needed to or wanted to appeal to a
parent for a birth control device. The
reason being that we knew it was wrong
to be sexually active when we weren’t
even married. Whenever we believed we
might use a contraceptive device, we
would find a source we could get it from
without having someone tell us it was
wrong.
Your “obvious(ly) inept, naive atti
tude,” is that the only source available for
contraceptive devices is a parent in the
case of a minor. You are not living up to
your name, because there is no reason in
“reason” for labeling her statement
ignorant. And so I charge that you
termed it so only because you consider
the statement a threat to the lie that you
are seeking to advance.
Let me be more specific. You seem to
believe that pre-marital sex is “a natural
men seek to advance it and uset
advantage, and not enough peoL
against. For example, whydojl
that there is so much lustinsoa[| by La
advertising, etc. I say because Ban
promoters think, the best waytK: 00 ^ <UI
can get people interested in 'l exT
they know that if they can inieilj inn
pie, it profits them. Boris has
I he “most important part ”o:n ess prog
ter is further evidence that yoilB The
want consequences to your signed to
which might influence you lo A&M fao
from having it; for example:iRd their
teen preganancy must be curbedl ril:er ^ stec *
do not want the price involved
want the feeling as “cheaply’’asB? 11 ^
that is that it would not requii p
term commitment. Sport H<
The intent of your letter is Educatior
and while 1 agree that “Moralii pie. It’s b
be enforced,” I do believe that Jem in
reflect a standard of morality, out
mind the people of their responi ,Ilc e p rn .
act in a decent manner; othervB’ L ‘ u ,
are not what they should be. 14“ l ;
to say that if you spent a lot ofd p | imental
paring your “logical approadW
wasted your time, and that iffl| 11
must have sexual relations, theyi
the price to have them, that istoj
ried, a commitment which requinj
than a short period of timeandi
“rewarding experience.”
Reader’s
Forum
and rewarding experience.” Well, you
old stud you, is the temporary feeling
involved the only thing that you are af
ter? Apparently so, for you seem to
ignore the problems pre-marital sex
causes. What about the guilt and loss of
dignity involved that hardly anyone
wants to talk about, or the family and
social scorn as well as perhaps the finan
cial problems affected from a possible
resulting pregnancy. An abortion might
even become a part of the problem, but
you seem to only be concerned with a
feeling, and not with the welfare of
young people.
Later in your letter you say that “sex” is
a “prevalent part of everyday life.”
I would first say that you mistake the
word sex for the word lust. Secondly, the
only reason that lust is a prevalent part of
the American lifestyle is because lustful
Shawn Stenf
Editor's note: This letter was ac
nied by four signatures.
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GEE.,. A THREE BEDROOM HOUSE FOR ONLY
TWO HUNDRED BUCKS.., WH ATS THE CATCH ?
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Tl
Letters: Support baseball team Sund:
Editor:
Since 1876, students and former stu
dents of Texas A&M have answered chal
lenges that have confronted them.
Aggies, there is a challenge coming to
College Station Sunday at 1 p.m. One of
the top ranked baseball teams in the na
tion, Cal State Fullerton, will be playing
the Aggie baseball team in a doublehead
er at Olsen Field.
Army, the challenge is this ... pack
Olsen Field with 5,000 Aggies. We have
one of the finest facilities in the nation in
Olsen Field, but we have never packed
the stadium.
About 35,000 students are at Aggie-
land and there were more than 5,000
all-sports ticket books sold last fall. Please
come out and support the Aggies and
Coach Tom Chandler. Chandler is in his
25th year at Aggieland and has only had
one losing season, that coming in 1960.
Last weekend, only 300 people came out
to see Coach Chandler record his 600th
victory. This Sunday, a special presenta
tion will be made to Coach Chandler be
fore the first game.
Aggies pack Olsen Field on Sunday at
1 p.m. and back the Aggie against one of
the top teams in the nation. I know the
Aggies won’t let the baseball team down.
Thanks. ., _
Alan Cannon 84
attacks on women around the compus.
We have begun an ongoing service to
help alleviate this problem.
Law Hall is offering a free escort ser
vice to women every night of the week. If
you need to go to or from your dorm, the
library, the MSG or anywhere on cam
pus, please call 845-9803 any night from
9 p.m. to 1 a.m.
That “it won’t happen to me” philoso
phy has been proven wrong too many
times. Any attack is one too many, and
just having someone nearby will normal
ly discourage a would-be attacker. This
service is offered for you Aggie Ladies.
Please play it safe. That number is 845-
9803. We want to help.
Jim Armentrout, ’85
quite satisfy all of the above rel
ments, although it would beclosertfl
truth.
We conclude, therefore, that voij
quite correct. You are indeed “onlj
ignorant nuclear engineering studt|
Richard I
DuniO
Editor’s note: This letter wasaccoi
nied by 12 oilier signatures.
Dorm noise rehashf
Editor:
Pulsed neutrino beams
Editor:
Editor:
Safety escorts
Our dorm has become concerned ab
out the increasing number of night
Dear Mr. Eubanks:
You obviously have a firm grasp on the
physics of high-energy interactions in
volving radiation and matter. It is true
that Glashow’s project will utilize pulsed
neutrino beams rather than X-rays, as
was incorrectly stated in the headline you
referred to.
However, it is also generally accepted,
at least in the case of newspapers in
tended for general circulation, that head
lines should be short, should give some
idea of what the article is about, and
above all should make sense to the aver
age reader. It does not seem as if some
thing like: “Process uses neutrino-
induced thermal shocks and meson
pulses to find hidden resources” would
This letter is in response to theli
from David Adams and Kent Knight'
residents of Davis-Gary Hall, in
March 1 Battalion. First of all, let me
how disgusted I was with your ignoi
response to the “keep it down” pleaf
ladies in your neighboring hall. 1 m
you got to admit that yelling and sere
ing at 2 a.m. is not exactly the afi
sensible and and considerate people
The statement you made to iW
ladies in the March 1 issue — “Altho
the people involved did not intern
keep anybody awake, I do not thinl
owe an apology” — has got to be on*
the more, if not the most, arrogant
ignorant statements I have ever he
from anyone. Were you without cor
ence or what? You don’t have to apj
gize to them but the least you could
admit your own wrongdoing. I’m
that’s what a person with the least
decency would do.
Nimit Stapol