opinion
Slouch
By Jim Earle
“/ thought that by now you would have realized that your
spurs were hung up.”
NFL strike results:
the new-found rich
by Art Buchwald
I saw Mathews the other day driving a
new Porsche, and the thought occurred
to me that he was doing very well. Two
days later I heard he was taking his wife
to St. Moritz for Christmas, and buying a
home in Hilton Head. Then the thought
occurred to me Mathews was in on some
scam, bucause just a year ago he was hav
ing trouble paying his electric bill.
Finally when I ran into him looking at
fur coats in Neiman Marcus I decided to
confront him on his new-found wealth.
“Okay, Mathews, you can level with
me. Where’s the money coming from?”
Mathews laughed, “You really want to
know? It’s coming from the NFL football
strike.”
“What does that mean?”
“There are no games being played, so I
haven’t been able to place any bets with
by bookie. Last year I lost my shirt, my
pants and the farm to him. This year the
money is all mine. I’m having a ball. I was
able to send my kid to MIT with what I
would have lost on the New England Pat
riots this year.”
“You mean to say that all your new
found wealth is money that you had set
aside to bet on the NFL football games?”
“That’s where it comes from. This is
the first year I’ve been able to wake up on
Monday mornings without a cold sweat. I
know I don’t have to meet my bookie for
lunch and turn over the family jewels.”
“But isn’t your wife suspicious of you
suddenly throwing all this money
around?”
“You bet she is. She figures I’m steal
ing from the company. Everytime I give
her some cash she won’t spend it because
she thinks she’s going to have to hire a
criminal lawyer.”
“Why don’t you tell her the truth?”
“Because I promised her seven years
ago I’d stop betting on NFL games with
my bookie. She’ll know I lied to her if I
told her where the bonanza was coming
from this year. The fur coat I’m buying
would have gone for the point spread I
The Battalion
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77843.
Group shouldn’t take blame
A few complaints were made in a col
umn on this page of The Battalion on
Tuesday about the conduct of the Corps
of Cadets at Saturday’s Texas A&M-Rice
game.
On top of everything else, Tuesday’s
column attempted to connect these inci
dents at the game with the very founda
tions of Texas A&M University and the
Texas A&M System.
Some parts of Tuesday’s column
made strong attacks on the Corps, but
did not base these attacks on anything.
No attempts were made to back the
attacks, and no solutions or corrections
for the issues were of fered. The vague
rhetoric didn’t help help the column at
all.
Are these complaints about Corps
conduct at the game well-founded?
So many negative things are heard ab
out the Corps — but how many of them
are actually true?
First, there were complaints about a
Texas A&M yell leader pushing over the
Rice Owl mascot. Head Yell Leader Tom
Joseph apparently was being harassed by
the owl. The owl was trying to push into
the yell leader huddle and wouldn’t go
away.
I must admit, this doesn’t excuse the
push-and-shove tactics. It isn’t necessary
to push another school’s mascot around.
We should have risen above this intru
sion — and we partially failed. The mas
cot may have been attempting the whole
thing in fun.
diana
sultenfuss
,if V
M
Also, remarks have been made about
the freshmen cadets stealing pom-pons
and a megaphone. Some may tiuote the
Aggie Code of Honor and say the Corps
fish who took the Rice cheerleaders’
megaphone and pom-pons need a lesson
on what it means to be an Aggie.
I have to agree; I cringed when the fish
cadets ran out of the stadium. This little
prank didn’t seem necessary. But all has
been returned. And a prank seems a
small reason to quote the Code of Honor.
Why complain anyway? These sorts of
pranks have gone on at many other uni
versities — and sometimes at far worse
expense. Some students at other schools
become so frenzied that they tear down
the goalposts. It seems to me that a re
turnable megaphone and pom-pons are
a much cheaper price to pay.
I admire the columnist’s desire for ex
cellence at Texas A&M. I believe that
almost everyone at this Univei
such a desire. However, 1 don
with the logic. It seemsimpossi
nect a few "incidents” at a food
with the entire list of goals of out
sitv and System. I agree startiiii
bottom is the best place —bind
to be taking it a little bit loo
It seems illogical to call tl
Cadets a “small but visible
threatens the image and progrtsi
institution. 1 tic Corps wast®
ning of this institution —it was
from the start to commission
the military. The Corps of Cadei
not bear the responsibility for
f or pre-eminence and a world*
I he (forps is not perfect bya
but is it fair to say they are air
ciency in this institution ofhiglnl
ing? 1 low can this be backed
erage grade-point ratio is
other students.
The Corps of Cadets re
percent of the student body
out of 36,000 students), yet ead
the major voice on campus. Tb
votes in the student bodvelectk#
spring semester, and they seldi
The Corps attends games, yell
and Silver Taps. When thetime
work on bonfire, there
many cadets working as non
Texas A&M needs the Corps
fair to place the blame fortheacti
few upon the shoulders of the
group.
nboiel
L'presem
would have had to take on the St. Louis
Cardinals.”
“She doesn’t know how lucky she is
that the players and owners can’t come to
terms.”
“You see those two guys over there in
trench coats? "They’re from the FBI and
they’ve been tailing me ever since the
NFL strike went into effect. They’re cer
tain I’m heisting banks, because last year
at this time I couldn’t even pay my Di
ner’s Club bill. The narc agents have tap
ped my phone because they're sure Tm
dealing in cocaine, and the IRS has audi
ted me three times since Ed Garvey called
the players out. I’m in fat city.”
“I didn’t know you were such a heavy
better.”
“Look there are millions of guys like
me all over America, who can no longer
put down a bet on a Dallas Cowboy game.
Since they don’t have to give their money
to the bookies, they don’t know what to
do with their dough. I at least have
enough sense to enjoy it while the strike is
on.”
“Can’t you bet on other sports events?”
“I supposed I could, but I don’t get the
same thrill as when I can get 14 points on
the Jets when they’re playing in Buffalo.
Do you know in 1979 I had three winners
on a Sunday, and would have broken
even if Philadelphia hadn’t kicked a field
goal in the last 10 seconds? I couldn’t
sleep all night. Now I don’t have to worry
if they score touchdowns in the last
quarter.”
“I wish I had bet on NFL games in the
past, I said. “I’d be a rich man this fall.”
“Those are the breaks,” Mathews said
modestly. “Some guys just luck into an
NFL strike, and become rich overnight.”
Mathews told the salesgirl to gift wrap
the fur coat in a box and we left the store.
On the sidewalk was a down and out man
selling lead pencils. Mathews took out a
bill and dropped it into the tin cup.
“Are you nuts?” I said. “You gave him
a hundred dollar note.”
“I know the guy,” he told me. “That
was my bookie.”
elinda
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Letter: Possibility of nuclear war
[ive bio
hve.
Editor:
This letter is a response to Kevin Pe
ter’s letter which was in last Friday’s Bat
talion. He wrote a very long and emotion
al letter in which he advocated the nuc
lear freeze concept.
I don’t know, however, if Mr. Peter
read my letter which was published in the
Sept. 9 issue. In that letter, I wrote: “I
recognize the good intentions of many of
the people advocating a nuclear freeze.
However, their reasoning is tragically
flawed in that arms control is only advan
tageous as long as it locks an aggressor
nation into inferiority.”
If a nuclear freeze were to be negoti
ated, the USSR would be left in a super
ior strategic position. We, the United
States and the rest of the free world,
would be able to do only two things. One,
we would be required to have a “launch
on warning policy". Or, two, we would
have to accept the damage that the
Soviets would inflict with their superior
nuclear forces.
Mr. Peter also mentioned the “inevita
bility of nuclear war“. I must remind him
that the United States of America deter
red a nuclear war for 37 years. How have
we done this? We did it from a position of
strength. There won’t be a nuclear war as
long as the dictators in the Kremlin know
that they dan’t win a war against the Un
ited States.
So what must the American people do?
We mustn’t go around signing petitions
which will guarantee Soviet superiority.
We should push for the realization of an
alternative to MAD (Mutually Assured
Destruction). We must think instead ab
out Mutually Assured Survival. Dr. Ed
ward Teller talked about this concept
while he was here at A&M two weeks ago.
This means the development of a com
prehensive civil defense plan and the
perfection of defensive strategic
weapons.
If we do this, we wouldn’t have to act
like snivelling wimps and therefore sur
render to the Soviets. If you don’t accept
the leftist propaganda, w hich has formed
the nuclear freeze idea, tell your con
gressman and your senators! They need
to know that the real Americans in this
country won’t let themselves
mailed by the threat of con
aggression.
Murray E, Mo(
I VJI
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Acaden
jom 11
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Studeni
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Pm.
Berry’s World by Jim Berry
11982 by NEA, Inc.
'77/ bet he’s a stock broker! Right?”