opinion
Battalion/Pagfll
October 19,
Ways to replace
missing NFL sports
by Art Buchwald
A bunch of the sports executives at
Zenith Network were sitting around the
conference table trying to come up with
some programming to replace the NFL
football games. It was the eighth week of
the strike and they had tried everything
from lacrosse to ladies’ mud wrestling,
but for some reason they just couldn’t
attract the audiences to warrant the
$250,000 a minute they were charging
for the time.
“I think I’ve got it,” said Dexter. “The
Girl’s Latin School of Boston is playing
•Our Lady of Victory’s Field hockey team
on Sunday. It’s a grudge match that goes
back 50 years. With proper promos I
think we could get people to tune in.”
“Who knows anything about women’s
field hockey?”
“Five minutes later — “Howard we’re
thinking of putting on the Girl’s Latin -
Our Lady of Victory Field hockey match
this Sunday, to keep the crowd that likes
pro football. Gould you handle the
color?”
“Fortunately the alumni rebelled, as
Field hockey was the only reason most
parents sent their daughters to Our Lady
of Victory, and now they are back in the
big time. If I may interject a personal
note, I remember the afternoon on Octo
ber 6, 1971, when Mary Healy in the clas
sic contest with Potomac Normal...”
Howard smirked. “That is a silly ques
tion. Girl’s Latin of Zoston has a lifetime
record of 345 wins against 165 losses.
Under the famed, but very under-rated
Mary McGrory, they had four undefe
ated years, a record that has never been
surpassed in the New England Regional
Conference.
“That’s enough, Howard, you’ve con
vinced us.”
“Well are you going to go with the
Girl’s Latin game next week or not?” Ho
ward asked.
“Either that or a horseshoe pitching
match between the Flatbush Odd Fellows
Home and the Sun City Bulldogs.”
“Which brings me to a story about
Francie Barnard. Francie, as you know,
•had been offered a scholarship to
Georgetown Visitation, and Dumbarton
Oaks. Her mother had played for Visita
tion in 1956 and made All-American. But
Carry had developed a knee injury on a
skateboard and doctors told her she
would never play Field hockey again. She
went to an orthopedic specialist named
Alice McKelvie who put in an artificial
knee. Alice McKelvie was a friend of Nik-
“I’ll never forget watching the Hat-
bush Odd Fellows defeat the Calgary
Nursing Home in an overtime, in that
memorable series in Anchorage, Alaska,
on Jan. 4, 1947. Flatbush had a one
armed thrower named Skippy Danzinger
and Skippy had left his favorite
horseshoe on the train. So he saw this
Canadian Mounted Policeman and he...”
“Okay, Howard, we’ll get back to you
as soon as we make our decision.”
“I’m sorry, gentlemen, but I have to
tell it the way it is.”
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism (Conference
Editor Diana Sultenfuss
Managing Editor Phyllis Henderson
Associate Editor Denise Richter
City Editor (}ary Barker
Assistant City Editor Hope Paasch
Sports Editor Frank L. Christlieb
Entertainment Editor Nancy Floeck
Assistant Entertainment Editor . . . Colette
Hutchings
News Editors Rachel Bostwick, Cathy
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Dittman, Beverly Hamilton,
David Johnson, John Lopez,
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Wagner, Rebeca Zimmermann
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Bill Robinson
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Michael D. Johnson, Rob Johnston,
Irene Mees, John Ryan, Robert
Snider
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Describing the elephant in ’82
Sil?
by Arnold Sawislak
United Press International
WASHINGTON — The 1982 elections
are focusing on the economy, but the
politicians involved are putting on a pret
ty good imitation of the four blind men
describing an elephant.
“It’s like a hose,” says the man who
grasps the trunk. “A tree,” says the man
who touches a leg. “No, a mountain,” says
the man who is next to the side of the
animal. “You’re all wrong,” says the fel
low holding the tail. “This thing is a
rope.”
So it is with the politicians this year.
The Democrats are looking at the unem
ployment Figures, the business failures
and industries like housing and auto
manufacturing. “A disaster,” they say.
But President Reagan and his people
see something else. Inflation slowed, in
terest rates coming down, stock prices
soaring. “It’s working,” they say of the
Reagan economic program.
The Democrats say it is time for pump
priming; for the government to spend
some money on job-creating programs,
such as public works. The Republicans
say it is only a matter of time before pri
vate enterprise will wake up and make all
the jobs the people need. Stay the course,
they say.
The question is, to which group of
politicians will the voters listen?
Obviously, people who have lost their
jobs aren’t too impressed by a slower rate
of inflation and certainly not by a boom
in the stock market.
But unemployment, even using esti
mates that include people who have
given up job hunting or have been cut to
part time, represents only about two of
every 10 potential workers.
That’s high, but if the Democrats got
votes only from the jobless, the Republi
cans wouldn’t have much to worry about.
That probably is even true if you add in
the people who actually have been hurt
by the Reagan budget cuts of!981-82.
On the other side of the coin, inflation
has slowed, not ended, and there are very
few essential products or services whose
prices are significantly lower now than
two years ago. It is the optimistic Amer
ican indeed who think $1.15 gasoline or
14 per cent mortgage rates are outstand
ing bargains.
Furthermore, the tax cuts Reagan and
his supporters trumpeted to the skies last
summer probably don’t seem to be that
much in the average weekly orbii
paycheck. People might seeabigi
ence in the total w'hen theyfilethG
turns next spring — monthspastitiei
lions.
And even if the election hingev |
voters’ perception of the nation’set
mic health, there is another com
that could fuzz the outcome. It is
ters’ perception of their con|
representatives.
The pollsters have noted for
most voters do not blame their own
tors and representatives for
problems, judging them on service
stale or district and to constituent
The candidates know this and
ize. Few Republicans seeking re
are pleading to be sent to Washi
help Reagan. Most are simply
economic problems on the Dei
and hoping that will be accepted.
On the other side, most
well aware of the national polls tl
Reagan’s personal piopularity
are not knocking the president
They are citing unemploymentanfl
ness failures, but generally blamin;
less “supplysiders” or the entireRi
tv for
can Party for them.
Baily Bisl
Antonio, i
k Soon, cold
ki Harris and told her Francie could play.
Nikki arranged for a full scholarship for
Francie and that is why Francie is now
playing for Girls Latin instead of George
town Visitation.
BATTALION IVVEST/GATIVE REP0RTIN6 DISCOVERS THE
SECRET METHOD THAT MAKES THE DISTRIBUTION OF
FOOTBALL TICKETS COMFLETELV RAND01A
“Our Lady of Victory had its greatest
years under Sister Mary Therese Bot-
tecelli, between 1941 and ’53. Sister Mary
used to smash a player’s wrist with a hock
ey stick every time the player hit the ball
over the crossbars. In 1965 Victory’s
Mother Superior, Dorothy Tuberty, de
cided to de-emphasize field hockey after
Eunice Shriver bought her daughter
Maria a Mustang convertible for scoring
three goals against Madeira.
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Letters: It’s all in the job title
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Editor:
Have you ever had the pleasure of
visiting the infamous dwelling of our Stu
dent Government? It’s located on the
second floor of the MSG in room 216,
suites C and D. If by chance you actually
accomplish the task of getting into the
room, and believe me, it is a major feat to
Fight your way through the mass of un
identified student government members
who stand around aimlessly, I hope you’ll
anxiously wait for the arrival of our all
great student body president.
I’m sure with these excellent political
methods, he accomplishes miracles for
the student body in his negotiations with
the administration.
Along with taking privileges by
pushing his title around, Mr. Texas A&M
student body president has hinted to me
that the completion of his school work
takes priority over any other students’
on this campus. People should relinquish
paper, pens, time and typewriters to him
anytime he beckons.
highly-regari
spirit and enthusiasm has influenttgelection, trai
over the past two to three years. H® ro g l ' am s, Bi
for his vocation and Texas A&M l p ^ ie ‘ r P ro l
sity has proven an inspiration to*
students, both past and present.
During his four and one-half yf
Associate Pastor and Campus Mini
St. Mary’s Catholic Church, he has
ceeded in unifying the thousand
Catholic students with the Coilegf
tion faith community.
He even signed his name and “casually”
mentioned his title in his recent editorial
about student testing procedures to let
everyone know who he is and who he
stands for. Hm-m-m, It kind of know
about most of my peers, but I sure was
shocked to be made aware of my opinions
about testing procedures. So on my
ignorant behalf, “Thank-you, P.P.!”
Remember he is THE Stu
dent Body President and no matter what
you or anyone else is doing, time must
come to a standstill whenever Mr. Impor
tant speaks. No, we’re not dealing with a
massive-egoed, power-hungry president
here.
Father Bill has been involved 1
many campus activities while al T 1
A&M. Students of various denoiH
lions are familiar with his genuine'
cern for all individuals. We havel>
b
Good ole P.P. even put the
license plate of “Ag Prez” on his car just
so everyone would know what clout he
holds. He must not have much clout
because I’ve repeatedly heard him say
that everyone is against him when voting
on certain issues in the Student Senate.
Kind of tells you something, doesn’t it
P.P.? This is the same “Ag Prez” that has
stood up several Aggie Mother’s Club
meetings these past months. “Good bull,”
wouldn’t you say?
T his boy has his political techniques
down pat. Back to the drawing board
with the political science major prez! And
Possibly I might dim P.P.’s light a little
by reminding him that I think he was not
the best qualiFied candidate back when
he was elected. I think I’ve heard P.P.
described as “the worst of two bad
choices.”
I’d say it’s definitely time for impeach
ment! Mr. Nixon was expendable and so
are you for that matter.
Spunky A. Sheppard ’83
Student Body Student
fortunate enough to be associated
Fr. Bill not only as Catholic students
also as staff members of Fish Camp
have fr A
We realize that many lives have
touched through his willingness to
of himself, and the Catholic Parish
Luling, will be blessed to receive sm
extraordinary person. Fr. Bill's Iran
to Luling will be effective as of Tue v
Oct. 19, 1982 — his presence at f‘
A&M University will be greatly n#
yet his loving spirit will always rents'
Thank you Father Bill, and mayf 11
blessing always be with you.
I
Thanks, Father Bill
Editor:
Barbara A. Brunnef
Brenda M. Svrcd
We have come to know a unique indi
vidual, Father Bill Brooks, whose Aggie
Editor’s note: This letter was accoi
nied by 10 other signatures.