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opinion
Slouch
By Jim Earle
“I’ll have to admit, it seemed strange when he told me that
midnight yell practice was at 9:15, but who am I to argue
with a sophomore?”
Whatever happens
after graduation?
How many times in the past has one of
your friends told you “things are going to
be different” come graduation?
How many hours have you yourself
spent dreaming of the years ahead when
being a productive, wage-earning mem
ber of society will be more than a half-
concealed idea?
Well wake up Ags. It just ain’t so.
Graduation is a myth — a gigantic,
complex, constantly promoted, univer
sally believed, myth.
I can hear the scoffing now. You don’t
believe me. I know. I know. I had a hard
time believing it at first, too. But it’s true.
The writing is on the wall for those who
can see.
Point One: How many of your friends
are graduates? If they claim to be one —
can they prove it? Did you see them gra
duate? And if you did, have you ever
heard of mass hypnosis?
Point Two: Have you ever seen a be
fore and after^icture of a recent — so
called — graduate? Notice any change? I
can’t.
For example: I have a friend who
claims to have graduated this August
with a degree in biology. I knew him be
fore this mythical graduation and as far
as I can tell he hasn’t changed a bit.
What is the purpose of graduation if it
accomplishes no change in the student?
Can you tell a graduate from a peasant
without talking to one? I’ll bet not.
Point Three: Want proof? Go up to the
second floor of Rudder some evening
when seniors are trying to sign up for
interviews — you’ll see what I mean.
Point Four: Ever hear someone talk
about the “real world” — as opposed to
the Ivory Towers we inhabit? I can’t see
the difference.
For example: I have another friend
who expects to graduate this December
— with a degree in economics. If he can
find a job, he says he expects to go to
robert
mcglohon
work in the morning, deal with econo
mics for eight hours, then go home and
goof off. How does this differ from col
lege? In only one way. He’ll have a lot
more time to goof off.
Therefore, it is obvious to me that gra
duation is a myth — a myth promoted (by
the administration?) to urge undergra
duates on in a study in futility. What are
we here for then? What happens to for
mer students when they leave here?
There are several possibilities.
Ever read “Soylent Green?” I try not to
even think about that.
Or, have you ever thought about who
puts the fuzz on the ends of the Q-Tips?
Is there a giant factory out in the middle
of nowhere, staffed by former students,
who’s only function is to wrap cotton
around little sticks? I doubt it, but it’s a
possibility.
Another possibility is the colonization
of space. Hasn’t it ever occured to you
that our space program is moving along
kind of slow? Could it be that NASA is
much more advanced than it lets on?
This is one possibility that I might like,
but why keep it a secret? Unless of course
they are sending us to a planet occupied
by teasips. Shudder.
To tell the truth, I really don’t know
the answer. But somebody must. If you
do, please let me in on the secret. You can
reach me by calling 555-HELP. Thanks.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
Editor Diana Sultenf uss
Managing Editor Phyllis Henderson
Associate Editor Denise Richter
City Editor Bernie Fette
Assistant City Editor Gary Barker
Sports Editor Frank L. Christlieb
Entertainment Editor Nancy Floeck
Assistant Entertainment Editor Colette
Hutchings
News Editors Rachel Bostwick, Cathy
Capps, Daniel Puckett, Jan Werner,
Todd Woodard
Staff Writers Jennifer Carr, Susan
Dittman, Beverly Hamilton,
John Lopez, Robert McGlohon
Hope E. Paasch, Bill Robinson,
Dana Smelser, Joe Tindel, John
Wagner, Rebeca Zimmermann
Copy editor Elaine Engstrom
Cartoonist Scott McCullar
Graphic Artist Pam Starasinic
Photographers . . . David Fisher, Octavio Garcia,
Jane Hollingsworth, John Ryan,
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Battalion/Page 2
September 20,11
Court cases cost money
by Dick West
United Press International
WASHINGTON — In Texas, a
pioneering satellite company successfully
launched its first rocket, thereby opening
the space age to commercial investment.
These truly are heady times for disci
ples of the private enterprise system.
In addition to the burgeoning space
business, we have a couple of firms chal
lenging the postal service in the express
mail field, a tuition tax credit plan that
would give a big boost to private schools
and at least one state experimenting with
privately owned penal institutions.
If incursions into what has traditional
ly been the public sector agree with your
own political philosophy. I’m sure you
can envision other governmental arenas
that commercial firms could enter.
One step that appears inevitable to me
is the development of a private judiciary
system.
From justices of the Supreme Court to
justices to the peace, our courts historic
ally have been governmental entities.
Yet, at least until it is tried, who is to say a
privately run court system wouldn’t do
the job better?
There are, as I see it, two basic
approaches that might be taken. One is
the quasimonopoly method under which
a company would be granted an exclusive
franchise to operate a judiciary system in
a certain area.
To get some idea of how the private
judiciary system might work, let’s invent
a mythical enterprise — the Amalga
mated Magistrative and Storm Door Co.
— and set it up in business.
Starting out on a small scale, Amalga
mated first bids for, and is awarded, a
license to operate a civil court system in
Clods County, N.M.
At that level, the firm mainly adjudi
cates divorce cases and damage suits. But
subsequently, it also getsjurisdiction over
criminal cases in the county. Now it is
ready for conglomeration.
As its next venture, Amalgamated
arranges a merger with the Acmejudil
ary and Aluminum Siding Corp.,wl
has a statewide contract. From that
er bases, the firm then seeks to take
the Freestone Tribunal and Automor:
ance Company of America.
Freestone, as you may already
presumed, has authority over fe
cases, the very foot in the door thatAi
gamated-Acme is seeking. Thereisacj
ty stock fight, which ends with Freesf
acquiring majority control of thewoi™
be predators. But all is not entirelyn
The new corporate structure isle;
attacked by the Antitrust and
Manufacturers Association headed
Ralph Nader. It obtains a decree ft
the Southern Circuit Appellate Co?
forcing Freestone - Amalgamated-Ati
to divest itself of all its lower courts,
Under the second approach, U |
competition would ... on secondthoui
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Letter: Keep Aggie tradition alive
Editor:
To the Class of 1986:
By now, you have probably heard the
rumblings of those “Aggies” who would
do away with many of Texas A&M’s
sacred traditions.
You are probably starting to doubt the
pride that all Aggies are supposed to
have in their school.
You are probably depressed because
you cannot FEEL the Spirit of Aggieland
like your father described to you.
You are probably starting to think that
everything you learned at Fish Camp was
a lie.
able someone must be to refuse to re
move his hat upon entering the Memo
rial Student Center or Kyle Field.
Our traditions are. not that deman
ding. Your class must see to it that the
classes below you carry them on. Be
proud to call yourself a Texas Aggie. Say
“Howdy” to people. Learn our traditions
because they belong to you now.
them and keep them alive.
Russell O. McGee!
John Kyle Mays
Chris L. Breaux !
Alexander C. Horn!
Randall Pollock!
Let us assure you that you can stop
doubting.
Even t hough recent letters to The Bat
talion promote the contrary, the Spirit of
Aggieland IS still alive.
At Fish Camp, you learned about the 2
percenters, the students who will not joar-
ticipate in the Aggie traditions, and you
learned how to tolerate them.
What you did not learn about w ere the
students who seek to abolish Aggie tradi
tions. They want to change Texas A&M
and make it into their ow'n self-styled ver
sion of t.u.
We challenge you, Class of’86, and all
other TRUE Aggies, to combat these
radicals. Not verbally or [physically, but
by your actions. Ujphold and strengthen
our traditions which have made Texas
A&M a great institution for over a hun
dred years. Show them that the Universi
ty will never change and will never bend
for anyone.
These time-honored traditions are
what separate Texas A&M from any
other university. Others also may offer
an academic education, but none have
what w r e have here at Aggieland: a proud
history so rich in tradition.
It does not take much to follow our
traditions. You can see how unreason-
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© 1982 by NEA,
hnrj,) I 11
"Can't we talk about something besides ‘vol
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