opinion
Earle
By Jim
Slouch
“Look at the positive side of flunking your first test.
When you pass the course, your teacher will have a feel
ing of satis faction of having improved your growth, if you
follow what I mean."
America infatuated
with finding diet
by Dave Spence
Did you know that the fourth bestsell
ing book right now is Richard Simmon’s
“Never say Diet?” And that the four
teenth bestseller is “Jane Fonda’s Exer
cise Book?”
It would seem that anyone could pub
lish a fitness guide these days.
Well, that just isn’t so.
A publisher demands a great deal
from the manuscript of a shape-up book.
It must be accurate, and still simple.
Effective, yet fun. Complete, but not
tedius. And most importantly ... without
excuse ... above all else ... and as you can
see from this interview, it must SELL.
“Err, is this Mr. Lippid’s office?”
“Yes, yes. I’m Lippid. Come in. Have a
seat. What can I do for you, Mr. ...?
“Mr. Dingleberry. George Dingleber-
ry. Mr. Lippid, I’d like you to publish a
book of mine. A guide for physical fit
ness.”
“Another shape-up book, huh? Oh,
well, why not? All 38 we’ve published so
far have sold.”
“Tliis isn’t just another f itness plan, sir.
It’ll revolutionize the way Americans ...”
“Cigar, Mr. Dingleburg? I love cigars.
These are hand-rolled.”
“Oh, no thank you. But as I was saying,
I can shave tons off America’s backsides.”
“Like a drink? Whiskey, rum, screw
driver?”
“I’ll take some orange juice.”
“No vodka?!”
“Just plain OJ.”
“O.K. Plain OJ. Like a few Oreos with
that?”
“No thank you, sir.”
“Well, then, get on with what you were
saying.”
“Yes. Well. I’ve formulated the ulti
mate fitness program. It’s dynamite. I’m
very excited about it!”
“What d’yuh call it?”
“I thought ‘Dingleberry’s Diet’ had a
nice ring to it.”
“Dinglestein’s Diet?! No, no, no.
That’ll never sell. We’ll need a gimmick
for it. Like ... ‘The Inner-Diet’ or ‘Totally
Fit’ or ... I’ve got it! ‘War Against Cellu
lose.’ We’ll make it sound like a video
game!”
“I’m flexible about the title, sir.”
“Good then ... Now, fill me in on how
this program works.”
“It’s a new approach, Mr. Lippid.
Common sense! A simple, reasonable,
straightforward diet and exercise com
bination that cuts calories and then burps
more off with activity.”
“Am I to assume that you want your
readers to exercise?”
“Certainly.”
“Hell, Dangleburns, if they wanted to
exercise they wouldn’t be sitting down to
read your book, now would they?”
“In order to be fit they have to spend
time ...” '
“Fatsos don’t want to spend time get
ting fit. They want to pop a pill and then
eat their hearts out, guilt-free. You got
any pills for these slobs?”
“That’s dangerous, Mr. Lippid!”
“That sells, Mr. Doonsbrook! But,
O.K. I can see your point. How ’bout
starch blockers?”
“Don’t need them.”
“Protein boosters?”
“No, but ...”
“Vinegar binges?”
“That’s disgusting!”
“I suppose you don’t even have some
kinda super-low-cal milkshake they can
have for breakfast!”
“I think you’re missing my point.
There aren’t any gimmicks to my prog
ram. I just want my readers to be active
like the human body was built to be, and
to eat like it was meant to eat.”
“O.K., Dingleson, I like you. We’ll
forget the milkshakes and pills and tell
the public the truth. Yah, it’ll be a new
angle! But we gotta find someone that
the public will listen to and believe to
supposedly write the book. Of course,
you’ll ghost write it.”
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
Editor Diana Sultenfuss
Managing Editor Phyllis Henderson
Associate Editor Denise Richter
City Editor Bernie Fette
Assistant City Editor Gary Barker
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Assistant Entertainment Editor Colette
Hutchings
News Editors Rachel Bostwick, Cathy
Capps, Daniel Puckett, Jan Werner,
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Wagner, Rebeca Zimmermann
Copy editor Elaine Engstrom
Cartoonist Scott McCullar
Graphic Artist Pam Starasinic
Photographers . . . David Fisher, Octavio Garcia,
Jane Hollingsworth, Janet Joyce,
John Ryan, Colin Valentine
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Battalion/Page 2A
September 16,
Letters: Pop test real surprise
Editor:
When it comes to teachers, I can hand
le almost anything — bad English, in
credibly long proofs, pop quizzes, and
the like. But this semester is a first.
When a test is given without prior
notice, it’s a pop quiz. When it’s given
over sections you have not even covered
yet, it’s insanity. Yet this happened in my
mechanical engineering 212 class. When
the syllabus says that section 2.10 is not to
be covered until Friday, Sept. 10, I don’t
know it too well on Monday, Sept. 6. Nor
did the rest of the class. But we were
quizzed on it anyway.
Beside the fact that answers could not
be gotten without a calculator, (which I
had not brought), when I confronted the
teacher about the syllabus conflict, he
said, “The syllabus is for you, not for me.
Don’t argue with the teacher.” Argue!
Who’s arguing? I just want to know
what’s going on in this class! Authorita
rian rule or what? Just what is the syllabus
for?
I feel I have to speak out through the
paper because in HIS class you simply
don’t —lest you be made a fool. On
another occasion, when someone at the
back of the class asked: “Could you speak
a little louder, please?”, he replied, “Can
you see this writing? Read it!” And the list
goes on.
Realizing that teachers are only hu
man, I sympathize with their task. But
when they begin to treat students as less
than human, they deprive themselves
and the students of a valuable learning
experience. It’s only because of the few
good teachers I know are out there that I
keep on trying. I just wish I would get
more of them. .
Rick McDonald ’85
Texas A&M, as well as witnessing
freshingly fore-sighted rhetoriccoi
ing the University’s potentialasa
Learning Center. 1 mi obliged!
forth a benchmark question toihel
mic community. That is, does!
out there in Aggieland knafl
rationale for closing the main lib
p.m. on Saturday and, for that in
p.m. on Friday?
Library hours complaint
Aci or< I mo to some. I lie spineoi
versity is its library. By suchadosei
policy, the spine of Texas A&m
posed as weaker than it should be.l
simple yet substantial diTisionfff
remedy this situation, the shamt
tinue. In locking oui m intents fri
of its principal sources of kiml
Texas A&M is locking itself iniotli|
leagues.
Editor:
Having read periodic emotion-
drenched essays extolling the virtues of
lonathon 1
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The
:30 a.r
Letters: Kyle Field traditions, hats
Editor:
Why? Why does every discussion ab
out traditions always have to become an
argument that traditions are good or tra
ditions are bad? Obviously, any A&M
traditions help make the University a un
ique and worthwhile experience for its
students.
T he key is determining just what
makes a tradition worth observing. Prog
rams such as Silver Taps, Aggie Muster
and Final Review require no explanation
or justification for those who have wit
nessed or participated in these cere
monies. They are meaningful because
they show that Aggies care — about their
school, about their state, about each
other.
The problem starts when someone
suddenly declares that Kyle Field is a
memorial to A&M war dead and
EVERYONE should remove their hats
when entering the stadium. Yes, when I
was a fish in the Corps in the late 50s, we
were told to consider Kyle Field (and ev
ery other stadium where the Aggies play
ed) as if it were a house and, of course,
you took your hat off in the house (every
one knew that). There was no claim that it
was a memorial to any war dead, it was
just something members of the Corps
did. Although an attempt was made to
build an “Alumni Memorial Stadium”
some seven years BEFORE the first sta
dium was authorized by the A&M Board,
construction never was begun.
I would appreciate it if someone (any
one) could show me where the stadium
was ever dedicated as a memorial and
when it was decided that no one could
wear a hat inside its gates. I’ve been to a
lot of games in Kyle Field and never seen
a time that hats weren’t worn by numer
ous spectators.
Don’t get me wrong. Mr. Jordan’s let
ter (Sept. 8) which criticizes traditions in
general puts us on opposite sides of the
fence. But, on his questioning of the hats-
off policy, we agree.
Jerry C. Cooper ’63
Flags over Kyle Field
Kyle Field being a memorial totlie
war deatl i.s indeed a reality.
Editor:
In reply to Miss Cogan’s (Sept. 14;
obvious mistake concerning Kyle Field, 1
submit Campusology Question #12
(from the Corps of Cadets Standard):
How are the 55 Aggies who were killed in
World War I commemorated? “Com
memorative plaques are on the trunks of
55 trees that surround the main drill
field. Fifty-five flags fly over Kyle Field at
each football game, and there is a granite
memorial located at the West Gate.”
Thus, Kyle Field’s status as a memo
rial. Not to mention the fact that it is the
burial place for Reveille I, II and III. In
reference to the MSC, it is a memorial to
all fallen Aggies, most noteworthy of
these being the eight Congressional Med
al of Honor winners. Eli L. Whitely is the
only person allowed to wear a hat in the
MSC.
There are many other memorials to
fallen Ags around the campus, including
Fish Pond (WWII), the Grove (Kyle
Drake ’43), a memorial in Spence Park
(Spanish-American War), the Duncan
Memorial (those since WWII) and
others.
Miss Cogan should research her his
tory a bit more thoroughly.
Nadine Miller ’85
W-l
More flags over Kyle
Editor:
There are also plaques oh thetru
55 trees that surround the maind
and there is a granite memorial local
the West Gate to further commem
these Aggies. As far as the Memorial
dent Center is concerned, it tooisi
memorial, but for those Aggies k
World War II. In addition map
memorials can be found around
for those Aggies who were killedin
wars.
S-2 MARAUD!
Class of
Editor’s note: This letter \V.as accw
nied by 12 signatures.
Off with hats
Editor:
In response to Diana Cogan’s*
(Battalion Sept. 14, 1982) concet
Kyle Field’s status as a memorial
would like to give her the followingi
mation. The 55 Aggies who gave
lives in World War I are commemot
at three specific places on campus.I
places are listed in the Corps off
Standard (page 34, #12) and areas
lows:
“Commemorative plaques are pi
on the trunks of 55 trees that surP
the main drill field. Fifty-five flag
over Kyle Field at each football j?
and there is a granite memorialloca#
the West Gate.”
In response to the letter of Sept. 14
from Diana L. Cogan who believes that
Kyle Field is not a memorial: I wish to
point out that Kyle Field is indeed a
“memorial 11 . She should pay more atten
tion to the fact that 55 flags fly over Kyle
Field at each football game to commemo
rate the 55 Aggies who were killed in
World War I. For that reason, hats
should be removed while in Kyle Field to
show respect to those Aggies that gave
their lives. The so-called “myth” about
For this reason we “certain Aggk
Miss Cogan refers to us, shall contin
perpetuate the NON-myth that
Field is a memorial. So comeonAgS'
’em off!
SQUADRf
Editor’s note: This letter was acd
nied by eight signatures.