-opinion
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Battalion/Paf
September 13,
I
VIEWPOINT
Copping a plea
sets ’em all free
by Art Buchwald
There is a lot of plea bargaining going
on in our courts these days. The prosecu
tors keep saying they have to deal with
criminals to avoid expensive trials and
also to get the little fish to testify against
the big fish.
The only problem with the second
argument is that so many little fish get off
the hook to catch a big fish, that many
times no one is caught.
This is how it works.
“All right, Trout, we know you blew
off Barracuda’s head in New Jersey be
cause he wasn’t kicking back on the guns
he sold to Libya. If you testify against
Mackerel to the Grand Jury, we’ll drop
your murder charge down to driving
without a license.”
Trout goes for the offer, and the pro
secutors soon get a visit from Mackerel’s
attorneys. “If you let Mackerel off,” his
attorneys say, “on a vagrancy charge,
he’ll be the star witness against Sharkey,
who is the biggest dope dealer south of
Miami.”
The Justice Department has been after
Sharkey for years, so they say, “You’ve
got a deal.”
Sharkey is arrested on Mackerel’s testi
mony and held on $10 million bail.
After a week in the slammer, Sharkey
tells a government attorney, “I was just a
courier in the dope business. If you really
want some big fish, lower my bail to
$5,000 and I’ll deliver whoever you
want.”
“Can you give us Bass?” the govern
ment attorney asks.
“I’ll hand you his head on a platter.”
The Justice people go to the judge and
tell him Sharkey is a key witness in a case
they’re building against Bass, and has to
be bailed out.
Sure enough, two months later Justice
has Bass nailed to the wall for running
the largest white slavery business in
America. But he’s hiding in Brazil. He
sends word that he’s willing to come back
and blow the whistle on Whale, the most
notorious labor racketeer in the country,
but only if they drop the felony charges,
and prosecute him for spitting in the
subway.
Justice said they can’t make that kind
of deal. But if Bass is willing to turn state’s
evidence, they might reduce the 100
white slavery counts to one count of sell
ing liquor to a minor.
Bass goes for it and lo and behold
Whale has been arrested for the first time
in his life.
Justice is preparing the prosecution
when Whale drops a bomb on them. If
they overlook the labor racket and extor
tion charges, Whale says he can implicate
a United States congressman in a Brinks
robbery.
The FBI checks out Whale’s story and
finds out it’s true. They promise Whale if
he testifies to everything he knows, they’ll
give him a new identity, a job and a con
dominium in Palm Beach, Florida.
Whale starts singing and the U.S. con
gressman is a dead duck. So the congress
man offers to testify against one of the
“highest” officials in America, who has
been getting regular payoffs from Fidel
Castro.
The Justice Department lets the con
gressman plea bargain his way down to
“malicious parking,” and start their case
against the “high” government official.”
But just before they’re ready to go into
court, they get a visit from the CIA, who
tells them the high government official
really works for them. They warn the
Justice people that if the official is tried,
the entire U.S. espionage effort against
Cuba will be destroyed.
Justice drops the case, and with no big
fish to fry, they go back to finding out if
they can get a better deal from the courts
for breaking the telephone company.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
Editor Diana Sultenfuss
Managing Editor Phyllis Henderson
Associate Editor Denise Richter
City Editor BernieFette
Assistant City Editor Gary Barker
Sports Editor Frank L. Christlieb
Entertainment Editor Nancy Floeck
Assistant Entertainment Editor Colette
Hutchings
News Editors Rachel Bostwick, Cathy
Capps, Daniel Puckett, Jan Werner,
Todd Woodard
Staff Writers Jennifer Carr, Susan
Dittman, Beverly Hamilton,
John Lopez, Robert McGlohon
Hope E. Paasch, Bill Robinson,
Dana Smelser, Joe Tindel, John
Wagner, Rebeca Zimmermann
Copy editor Elaine Engstrom
Cartoonist Scott McCullar
Graphic Artist. Pam Starasinic
Photographers . . . David Fisher, Octavio Garcia,
Jane Hollingsworth, Janet Joyce,
John Ryan, Colin Valentine
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Dream along with me
by Dick West
United Press International
WASHINGTON — Back before Sig
mund Freud gave dreaming a bad name,
slumbertime hallucinations ranked right
up there with apple pie and motherhood
among the world class virtues.
Dreams were to a past generation of
songwriters what “baby” is to today’s lyri
cists. Tin Pan Alley then could hardly
turn out more than two consecutive lines
without using the word.
“Give me a kiss to build a dream on,”
begged Louis Armstrong between trum
pet blasts. “You’ve got to have a dream,”
admonished Juanita Hall in “South Paci
fic.” “Did you ever see a dream walking?”
asked the juke boxes.
Dream songs generally had the sort of
fruitcake quality one associates with
skateboards, love in bloom and other out
breaks of dementia.
“You’re all dressed up to go dream
ing,” reported one tunesmith. To the li
teral mind, that suggests the party of the
second part was wearing footsie jamjams,
or some such attire.
Now, of course, this type of nonsense
no longer makes the hit parade. Modern
psychiatrists have taught us to regard
dreaming as the lumbago of the subcon
scious — a sure sight the sleeper’s pesky
id is acting up again.
Perhaps the shrinks are closer to the
truth than poets were. It could be our
wistful preoccupations are too ridiculous
or fanciful to find fulfillment except
when we are asleep.
Nevertheless, as every romantic
knows, some dreams really do come true.
So it was gratifying to learn during the
recent American Psychological Associa
tion convention here that an effort is
being made to rehabilitate beddy-bye
illusions.
“Lucid Dreaming” was one of the
topics discussed at the meeting. The idea
seems to be that with proper preparation
a dreamer can control the contents of
noctural imageries and even dicate their
conclusions, thus ensuring that the
dreams have happy endings.
1 like that. Ungoverned dreaminj;
be disconcerting, to say the least.
It frequently is my rotten luck toll
sweet dreams about people whom 1|
bitterly disagreeable in real life.\
most of my other dreamland exctira
are equally unrealistic.
In order to have lucid dreams,
psychologists were told, an indisij
“must have the intention to recoa i
that he or she is dreaming.”
Here, I fear, is where the wholelw
of cards is likely to collapse.
I have known a small armyofdra j
ers who were totally incapable of reo I
nizing that they were dreaming.Infi
have exhibited such an incapacity mu |
upon occasion.
“You must be dreaming," emplw
and relatives have said to me wfea
offered some helpful suggestion
weighed in with a modest request.
And all the while I thought Iwasvi
awake.
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Editor:
Once again, it seems that another let
ter has reached the pages of the Battalion
before its authors thoroughly investi
gated the issue at hand. We wish to de
fend the bootline ring check that was un
justly criticized, by two juniors and one
sophomore, in a letter appearing on
Sept. 8.
First of all, it should be noted that,
contrary to popular belief, the members
of Student Government are not stupid.
They realize that not all students, two of
us included, can not afford senior rings.
At the first bootline for the Class of ‘83,
student ID’s were also checked for ‘79’ as
the first two digits; therefore, we were all
able to take part. We feel, along with all
others seniors that we have spoken with,
that the class verification provided for
the most organized, and least crowded,
bootlines in the three years of our attend-
ence at Texas A&M. Our congratulations
go out to those persons that were in
strumental in the establishment of the
ring check.
To conclude, it is difficult for us to
understand the grave concern of three
individuals regarding a privilege that will
not be theirs for some time to come. We
have watched non-seniors participate in
bootline (on a regular basis) in the past,
and could not help but think of this ex
perience as we read the letter in question.
We do not intend to accuse the authors of
the letter of unscrupulous motives;
however, we would like to see the busi
ness of the Class of ’83 left to the Class of
’83
Jim Stolarski ‘83
Craig Martens ‘83
Thad Massengale ‘83
Soccer thanks
Editor:
I want to express my appreciation for
the enthusiastic participation of the
A&M men’s and women’s soccer teams at
the second annual Sidekick Soccer Com
petition held Saturday, Augest 28, co
sponsored by McDonald’s and Coca-
Cola, in cooperation with the local youth
soccer clubs.
Over 200 area children, ages 3 to 16,
participated in mini-games of soccer with
everyone winning a prize and having
fun. The A&M soccer players helped
with everything from the early morning
set-up of registration tables and marking
fields to officiating the games, plus giving
an excellent demonstration of soccer
skills.
The team members’ interest in young
soccer players and their dedication to the
sport of soccer was shown by their volun
tary participation in this community pro
ject. Thank you.
Linda M. Martin
Coordinator, Sidekick Soccer, ’82
Wallet lost
Editor:
Last Wednesday night, after a long
day at school, I decided to go to the Dixie
Chicken and have a few beers. I left the
Chicken but happened to leave my wallet
sitting on one of the tables there. I admit
that it was my fault for leaving my wallet,
but I would think that whoever found it
there would have turned it in to someone
at the Chicken or would have contacted
me.
The wallet contains quite a few things
of value to me and I would extremely
appreciate it being returned. I know my
phone number is not anywhere in my
wallet so I’ll leave it here in The Batta
lion. If you happen to be the person who
found it, or if you know of that person,
would you please call me. My phone
number is 693-4702.
David L. Blake ’84
Campus litter
Editor:
Last Thursday evening I learned
something new. That is, the tendency to
litter does not decrease with the amount
of education a person possesses. How
many of you have been surprised, and
nauseated, when the person in the car in
front of you nonchalantly threw2k
can out of the window onto thehigbi 1
I see it all the time and I always have
same reaction: utter disgust of the
man race. What gives this person|
right to pollute what is not his? lab
liked to think that this person hadt«'I
some stupid dunghead that was lb
taught better.
Well, Thursday I saw a sight it
made me realize that those of us whoa
considerate of mother nature and os
fellow man are in a depressindyJFl
minority. As I approached the 1
entrance to the MSC, I noticed t
had an unpopular flyer in the
talion. I could tell it was unpopular^
cause there were hundreds, yes a dwp
of those flyers strewn all over thesis
walk.
Inside the MSC it was even worst
They were literally piled on the floor
the Flag Room looked as though®
35,000 of use had read the Battalion
mistakenly taken the Flag RoomtoheiW
Battalion Can, you know, file #13
After seeing all this, I began tow
der. If the inside of the MSC, thecb
ished Memorial Student Center,
like this, I wonder what the rest
campus would look like if it weren't
the hard work of the maintenancestalfl ;
wonder how many people are emplolB
by the University whose sole respon
ity is to pick up other people’s trashd
wonder how much of our tuition gb
toward picking up this trash.
The students who did this obvionil 1 .
do not care about keeping our mow 1
clean, but everyone cares about raonf 1
Thomas Hubbel
2421 Colgaif
Friendship
Editor:
As a corollary to David Fisher's artidf
on friendship, I devised the following
maxim: “Anyone can be an acquaintance i|
but only someone can be a friend.”
Marc Rogers
Graduate student
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