Battalion/Page 2
September 7,1982
opinion
Survival of swiftest
the safest way to go
by Dave Spence
Animals, it is said, are either built for
fight or flight. Body structure, in other
words, determines whether an animal
holds its turf against, or flees from, a
predator. Where a rhino charges, a gazel
le hooks it.
I am most definitely built for flight.
Swift flight. Furious retreat, in fact. The
bulk of the muscle on my six-foot frame
surrounds my thighs and calves, not my
shoulders, chest, or knuckles - which tells
me something.
“Dave,” I said to myself as I nurtured
my first bloody nose in third grade, “you
should’ve run.”
Since then, I always have.
That technique of survival, however
effective, was never an easy one to prac
tice in eighth grade.
Butch Bloodlock’s white knuckles be
fore me. A taunting mob of P.E. students
to my right. Coach Greeley, an ardent
boxing fan, to my left smiling permissive-
ly at Butch. And a flat, open playground
behind me.
I carefully considered my options:
Whether I fought or not, Coach Greeley
would always think my curly hair made
me a fairy. The crowd to my right would
be disappointed with a KO in round one,
anyway. Butch Bloodlock was sixty
pounds heavier than me. I had just
watched him guzzle five Cokes on a dare.
And my tennis shoes were three shades
whiter than his. He’d never catch me!
Puffing hard across the playground, I
could hear Butch’s phlegmatic footsteps
a safe distance behind me; beyond that,
my classmates’ references to me looking
like a certain domesticated fowl; and
beyond that, Coach Greeley grumbling
in confirmation of his assumptions about
my hair.
Oh, well. Regardless of them, I re
turned to class with my facial features still
intact.
Surprisingly though, even at an insti
tution of higher learning, I am still
placed in that same kind of bestial predi
cament. In fact, with the unregulated
amounts of beer now available to the
Butch Bloodlocks at school, a fight-or-
flight situation can be even more touchy
than before.
Yet, with the proper mouth-foot coor
dination, toying with a drunken brute
can be oh-so fun.
Last spring, I consented to “joining
the fun” on Thursday night at the Hall of
Fame with a dear friend of mine, Cindy,
and her boyfriend. As usual, inside the
place an atavistic orgy was brewing and it
didn’t take long for some over-brewed
clod to make a “remark” to Cindy, be
cause, I suspect, she was simply the best
looking blonde in the place.
“David?” she said.
“Yes, my dear?”
“See that guy over there?”
“That one,” I pointed.
“No, the taller one.”
“And hairier?”
“That’s the one,” she confirmed.
“Why?”
“Well, I don’t want to grumble,” she
grumbled, ” but he asked me to dance,
and I said I was with my boyfriend, and
he says real nasty-like, ‘Well, honey. You
ain’t nearly as pretty as you think you
are.’ Wasn’t that rude?”
“It certainly was,” I agreed. “You are
as pretty as you think you are. Why didn’t
you tell your boyfriend to beat ’im up?” I
wondered.
“Because he’d beat ’im up. The guy
doesn’t deserve that; he’s just had too
many beers,” she sympathized.
“You’re right. What he needs is a sub
tle jolt to his ego. Let me take care of it,”
and I approached the culprit.
Staring him straight in the navel I said,
“Pardon me.”
I believe he struggled to answer with
the monosyllable, “What,” but his grunt
was all the recognition I needed to con
tinue.
“Would you like to dance?”
“Grunt?!” he repeated in disapproval.
“No? Oh, well. I just wanted to say
you’re not nearly as attractive as you be
lieve you are.”
Puffing hard across the dance floor, I
could hear my predator’s footsteps a safe
distance behind me; beyond that, the
band playing “Why Did You Run Away
When I Wanted You So Badly,” and
beyond that, Cindy sighing at my dutiful
heroism.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
Editor Diana Sultenfuss
Managing Editor Phyllis Henderson
Associate Editor Denise Richter
City Editor BernieFette
Assistant City Editor Gary Barker
Sports Editor Frank L. Christlieb
Entertainment Editor Nancy Floeck
Assistant Entertainment Editor Colette
Hutchings
News Editors Rachel Bostwick, Cathy
Capps, Daniel Puckett, Jan Werner,
Todd Woodard
Staff Writers Jennifer Carr, Susan
Dittman, Beverly Hamilton,
John Lopez, Robert McGlohon
Hope E. Paasch, Bill Robinson,
Dana Smelser, Joe Tindel, John
Wagner, Rebeca Zimmermann
Cartoonists John Groce, Scott McCullar
Graphic Artist Pam Starasinic
Photographers ... David Fisher, Octavio Garcia,
Jane Hollingsworth, Janet Joyce,
Peter Rocha, John Ryan, Colin
Valentine
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Making peace over world’s fa E
United Press International
WASHINGTON — Already this year,
President Reagan has undertaken to restore
peace in the Falklands without unduly
offending the British or Argentineans, and
achieve peace in Lebanon without unduly
offending the Arabs or Israelis.
And if these situations weren’t sticky
enough, he now finds himself drawn into a
dispute between Chicago and Miami.
Both cities have applied to the Commerce
Department to have themselves designated as
the site of a 1992 world’s fair celebrating the
500th anniversary of Christopher Columbus’
voyage to the New World.
It will be up to Reagan to choose between
them later this year.
Chicago claims to have time on its side
while Miami’s chief ally is geography.
There is no doubt that Chicago, scene of an
1893 Columbian Exposition, already has re
ceived preliminary approval from the Paris-
based Bureau of International Exhibitions for
a “universal” category show 10 years hence.
It also has a track record going for it.
Chicago’s “Century of Progress” exposition
in the 1933 enriched the world of culture with
Sally Rand and the fan dance. Which certainly
should count for something.
Miami, on the other hand, being located
only 400 miles east of the spot in the Bahamas
where Columbus landed, has a clear shot at
the proximity title.
As a Miami publicist has pointed out, of
Chris “never got as far as Chicago.”
Moreover, the Windy City is unable to
counter Miami’s geographic advantage with a
claim that it is closer to the edge of the Earth.
Modern scholars dismiss as myth the old
canard that the crews of the Nina, Pinta and
Santa Maria, believing the Earth to be flat,
feared the ships might encounter ajumping-
off place.
Historians now say the seamen who accom-
anied Columbus were more concerned that
e would be unable to find his way back to
Spain.
The latter apprehension apparently was
eminently justified.
The fact that Columbus landedtit^j
Miami than he did to Chicago while^:
reach India seems largely to navebectff
ter of navigational caprice.
Some years later, Jacques Cartier,a||
explorer trying to reach China, sailei^
St. l^iwrence River.
Had Columbus drifted a little
north, he might have done the sair^
continuing on that route until he la*;
the Great Lakes, one of whose shoresiiE
by Chicago.
Ofjust such might-have-beensistltv,
of history determined.
In any event, I don’t envy ReaganiMl,
choosing between the two cities. The!
strewn with political landmines. Rr^
sions from the decision could spillo^S
the 1984 campaign.
I mean, if you thought the Argts^
were sore losers, wait until yougttai|r
municipal officials whose bid foravoiri
has been rejected.
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Letters: Respect Aggie traditions
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Editor:
This letter is not directed to the entire
student body of Texas A&M, but just to
those who do not have respect for the
traditions of this great University.
I just walked in from the football game
and I must say that I am deeply disturbed
by the actions of some of my fellow Ags.
First of all, Kyle Field is a memorial. I
must say I was shocked at the number of
people who wore hats inside the stadium.
I was even more shocked at the attitude
they showed after they were politely
asked to remove them. I never knew peo
ple could be so rude, especially Aggies.
Who cares if the sun was in your eyes?
Just think what it would have been like if
the Ags of World War II would have
given childish excuses like that. So come
on Ags, get on the ball and uncover while
you’re in the stadium.
The second thing that upset me was
the number of people who left during the
fourth quarter of the game. All Ags know
that if we do get outscored that there will
be a yell practice after the game. Even the
football team stayed to help keep this tra
dition going. It really upsets me to think
that some people only care about win
ning. How can we expect the football
team to stay inspired if the Twelfth Man
walks out on them during the game?
To end, I would like to thank all the
Ags who stayed until yell practice was
over. To the ones who wore hats and left
during the game, I would like to say that
if you don’t like the way things are then
leave.
Scott Cummings ’85
Jason Clark ’82
Byron Nelson ’82
Rally behind Sherrill
Editor:
What are we coming to anyway? Be
fore this University made its bid for su
per size and status, we used to be more
lenient of losses and more grateful for
the effort. Has super size made us super
snobs? Have we become like one local
sportswriter who sings Coach Sherrill’s
praise one day and crucifies him on the
succeeding days? Why can’t our local
media be as objective and forgiving as
others have been? I personally think
Jackie Sherrill’s the best thing to happen
to this University in 40 years. His
strength of character reminds me of t he
last great coach we ran off — Emory Bel-
lard. Are we to mock his talent with such
shortsightedness? Let’s rally behind him
in this hour and prove to him what
Aggies are really all about.
As one insightful Houston sportswri
ter noted, Texas A&M’s future was not
Saturday night. Let’s open our eyes to the
same fact.
Steve Smith ’82
Helpful student praised
Editor:
As I was walking toward the health
center this morning, I noticed a young
male handicapped student in a >|
chair negotiating the sidewalkont
to an 8 a.m. class. Since he unfortu*
did not have an electrically po*’
chair, his progress, although stear
quite slow.
0
A fellow student, on foot, o'j|
him and politely took command
wheelchair and both students werti
swiftly on their way to class.
That the helping student happ
, ri -
be female and black reflects the
that have occurred at Texas Arf;
past 20 years. What she did refleir
fact that some things have notcr
and the true spirit of Aggielandlr*
Gig ’em!
Gene F. Brossman, M*
Berry s World
Conservatives
GAINST
Trte New
PEA
) 1982 by NEA. Inc