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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 30, 1982)
opinion Battalion/Page 2A August 30,1982 Slouch By Jim Earle WELCOME TO A&M CLASS OF 1986 U.S. fast becoming a nation of banks Editor’s note: Art Buchwald is recycling some of his best columns whilst he and his family soak up the sun and enjoy the soft sea breeze of the Falkland Islands, other wise knwon as “Maggie’s Vineyard.” by Art Buchwald Every time an old building is torn down in this country, and a new building goes up, the ground floor becomes a bank. The reason for this is that banks are the only ones who can afford the rent for the ground floor of the new buildings going up. Besides, when a bank loans someone money to put up a new build ing, it usually takes an option for the street-floor facilities. Most people don’t think there is any thing wrong with this, and they accept it as part of the American free-enterprise system. But there is a small group of peo ple in this country who are fighting for Bank Birth Control. This is how Huddlestone Hubbard, the BBC’s chairman, explained it: “Whenever you see an old building torn down,” Hubbard said, “You usually see a candy store, a dry cleaner, a de licatessen and possibly a florist torn down with it. These shops are all replaced in the new building with a beautiful glass, aluminum, wall-to-wall carpeted money factory. “Now from an aesthetic viewpioint, a bank looks better than a dry cleaner, a candy store, a delicatessen and a florist. But from a practical point of view, it's a sheer disaster. If you want a newspaper, a candy bar or a chocolate milk shake, you can’t get it at a bank. Nor can you run out to a bank for a pound of Swiss cheese • “A bank is great if you want to buy a car, but it’s useless if you want to have “Something like that,” Hubbard agreed. “We’re trying to get the public to wake up to the fact that it’s better to have a store that sells screwdrivers than a bank that gives away alarm clocks.” “What’s the solution?” “A government decree that a bank has to supply the same services as the stores it tore down. If it’s a bakery, they have to sell cake; if its’s a photography shop, they have to develop film; and if it’s a dry- goods store, they have to sell warm underwear. If they provide the services of the store they tore down, then we’ll let them do a little moneylending on the side.” The Battalion USPS 045 360 for students in reporting, editing and photography clas ses within the Department of COMMUNICATIONS. Questions or comments concerning any editorial matter should be directed to the editor. Member of Texas Press Association Southwest JournaliSin Conference Letters Policy Editor Diana Sukenfuss City Editor Bernie Fette Sports Editor.............. Frank L. Christlieb News Editors Daniel Puckett Gary Barker Staff Writers Colette Hutchings, Hope E. Paasch, Joe Tindel Jr., Rebeca Zimmermann Cartoonist Scott McCullar Photographers .... David Fisher, Octavio Garcia John Ryan, Letters to the Editor should not exceed 300 words in length, and are subject to being cut if they are longer. The editorial staff reserves the right to edit letters for style and length, but will make every effort to maintain the author’s intent. Each letter must also be signed, show the address and phone number of the writer. Columns and guest editorials are also welcome, and are not subject to the same length constraints as letters. Address all inquiries and correspondence to: Editor, The Battalion, 216 Reed McDonald, Texas A&M Uni versity, College Station, TX 77843, or phone (713) 845- 2611. 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Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. Planning helps Texas A&M by Tracey Buchanan Battalion Staff Quickly and furiously they built and added and revised and supplemented. They were excited. The University was growing, grow ing, grown. Like a legion of ants, they scram bled to build their kingdom. Aggieland. This small military “cow college” opened its doors to women and dropped compulsory membership in the Corps of Cadets, begin ning a new era in the mid-1960s. But how was anyone to know Texas A&M University would become one of the fastest- growing schools in the nation, jumping from 14,000 students in 1970 to 35,000 a decade later? berate analysis will ensure the future of our University. Now that makes sense. It makes sense to anticipate growth so prog rams and buildings can expand accordingly. It makes sense to determine the needs of the society that the University serves as a Land-Grant, Sea-Grant institution. It makes sense if your aim is excellence. And that is precisely what Texas A&M’s More t covers 1982 through 1987. The goals stated in the plan wen mined after careful analysis by everyos department heads to the Universil) dent. The planners even seriously® ten ded c student input. niversity Then there’s the Office of Planiii ssion. ( Institutional Analysis, which predkiic ents ’ ^ ment and provides various other statistics. How was anyone to know? The University was by no means wallowing in a sea of unplanned events, but it was lacking an integrated, coordinated program of plan ning. Of course, even with the most extensive plans, no one can predict anything for certain. With that in mind, the planners said: “Let’s do our darned best anyway,” and proceeded. That’s something else that makes sense ab out the University’s philosophy of planning. Only fools believe nothing changes. Mass quantities of probabilities, p ties and pref erabilities are sifted dor tiers examine, sort, scrutinize andeliti Their efforts are exhaustive something abnormal occurs, whidiitij ably will some day, their efforts wasted. «Spy 15 ~ feam is e 8WC toun In 1978, the administrators designed a master plan that laid out the framework for the future of Texas A&M. No more scramb ling. The planners decreed calm, careful, deli- University planners are wise to recognize that even the Master Plan, capital M, capital P, cannot cover the actual future of Texas A&M. Planning must be an on-going process in which situations are constantly reevaluated. The Master Plan 1978-1982 was only the first in a series of planning documents. It is reviewed annually and every two years its scope is extended by two years. The plan now Texas A&M is in the handsofplain care intensely about its future Like a parent who wants the besi child, these planners want the bestfo i an ning, University. And they are going tomali they get it. At least, that’s the plan. Trucey liuchmum is graduateofTml I and a funner employee of The Em. tattering, riefsumn worthy eve and in Cc the summe May 19 — Iresident 1 appointed Irnor’s Ol May 26 - wins the A ■ter a gal May 19 — against Te: |ents’ groi missed in f Student S d sued ing deni your dress cleaned. “And while a bank might buy flowers to give itself a human image, it doesn’t sell any when you want to make up with your wife.” “What you’re saying then, Mr. Hub bard, is that every time a bank goes up, something in all of us dies.” “Exactly. One of the reasons kids are getting in so much trouble these days is that there are no candy stores to hang around any more. When they tear down a delicatessen, the tangy smells of potato salad, salamis, corned beef and dill pick les are lost forever. “The situation is more crucial than anoyne thinks,” Hubbard continued. “At the rate they’re tearing down consumer stores and replacing them with banks, we estimate that in 10 years it will be impossb ble to buy a loaf of bread in this country. What good is it to get 7 percent on your money if you starve to death?” “Then what you’re saying tis that it isn’t a question of not taking it with you It’s a question of staying alive while you have it,” I said. maging, throe m nortl fcmacorm owners of I At least ,ol whom ; in t ars, wer MAR6e,U)0K,u UlEMAVAUW/BE WINNERS IN THE BID REAPERS DIGEST SWEEPSTAKES ipped oi (jeportatio: I Hugh 1 for the Bo said the rai to open up but the far find Airlines what we do best by Dick West United Press International WASHINGTON — Somebody’s idea of a jolly prank was to print “THERE IS A BOMB” with soap on a lavatory mirror in an airliner. That bit of graffiti, in two-inch letters, was found on an American Airlines 727 during a non-stop flight from Dallas to Washington. Yeah non-stop! One of my seatmates, James Ettare of Gaithersburg, Md., spotted the inscription during a lavatory visit. “I didn’t know whether it was a joke or what,” he told me later. “My first impulse was to rub it off. Then I decided I had better show it to a stewardess.” A short while after Ettare returned to his seat, the cheery voice of the chief flight atten dant was heard over the intercom. There was a “slight” problem, she re ported. The two rear lavatories were “out of order.” Any economy fare passengers who “had to go” were invited to use the first class facilities. The next voice was that of the captain. It might be just a “practical joke,” he said, but “we have received a message” that made it prudent to land in Memphis for further checking. Once on the ground, the 120 passengers deplaned by means of portable stairs and were herded to a grassy area about 100 yards away, then to a vacant part of the terminal. All luggage and other cargo also was re moved and was duly sniffed by two bomb squad dogs, as was the interior of the plane. My fellow passengers seemed more fretful over the delay than concerned for their safety although my other seatmate, 10-year-old John Wilson of Reston, Va., admitted, “I got a little scared.” aces. Charles owners of c will lose up loupes bee; jo the field b picked. Clint H jarvesting He said he telephoned his inotherdiiii the unscheduled layover and, “Boy.shem franticy.” I set foot back in Washington almosies ly three hours after the scheduled ti( arrival. Shortly before the landing,thein com thanked us for having made it an“ef able” flight. Yeah enjoyable! I can only hopethepk tom mirror-writer missed an import appointment. Berry's World The Memphis airport was seven or eight minutes away, he advised. Shortly before the plane touched down, the captain got back on the intercom and in structed us passengers to assume the “brace position.” I had not the slightest idea what a “brace position” was. During my air corps days, an aviation cadet who was “braced” by art upper classman had to stand stiffly at attention. But I couldn’t see doing what with a buckled seat belt. Fortunately^ a flight attendant explained over the intercom that we were supposed to bend over arid grab our ankles. It occurred to me that whoever invented the “brace position” as a crash landing posture did so before the airlines started putting the seats so close together. Any unusual jouncing would have caused me to bang my head against the seat in front of me, possibly causing a concussion. Thank God the landing was about as smooth as any. © 1M2 by NEA. Ine. 'What is it like to grow old?" D1 41 ‘ a 8<