opinion
Battalion/Paj^”'
July 28, ■
Slouch By Jim Earie I Democrats rebuild party ties
“Not only has the FDA found that beer may cause cancer,
but they have released a report that anything that is fun
causes cancer.
Imported clothes
it’s all in the waist
by Art Buchwald
As everyone is aware, many of the
clothes that you find in stores are now
made in Taiwan, Hong Kong or South
Korea. While they are not lacking in qual
ity, there are problems with sizes.
For example, I bought a pair of shorts
the other day marked LARGE. When I
attempted to put them on, I discovered
they did not fit. My first fear was that
through bracket creep I had become X-
LARGE. But before I panicked, I asked
my son, who is a MEDIUM, to try them
on. They fitted him perfectly. It was ob
vious the people in Hong Kong had
made a mistake. Fortunately, there was a
slip included with the shorts which said,
ANYTHING WRONG WITH GAR
MENT PLEASE REFER TO INSPEC
TOR 7: ’
I immediately telephoned informa
tion, located the factory in Hong Kong
and called. Inspector 7 was not there but
I got someone in charge who spoke En
glish. I explained the problem of the
sizes.
He said Inspector 7 was a very reliable
man and had worked in the factory for 15
years. This was the first time they had
had a complaint about him. He even
admitted it was the first time they had
had a telephone call from the U.S. about
any of their inspectors.
I told him I didn’t want to make trou
ble for Inspector 7, but I was just curious
about how they inspected their shorts
that were exported to the United States. I
mentioned that many of my friends were
also having difficulty with the sizes of
Hong Kong shorts.
“Well, what do you want to know about
Inspector 7?” he asked.
“Well, for one thing — how tall is he?”
“I believe he is 4 feet 11 inches,” the
man said.
“And how much does he weigh?” I
wanted to know.
“We never weigh our inspectors,” the
man said. “But I would guess 95
pounds.”
“Then that could be your trouble. Are
most of your inspectors that height and
weight?”
“Yes, but I don’t see what this has to do
with your shorts.”
“It’s quite clear. To them a MEDIUM
looks like a LARGE size, a LARGE looks
like an X-LARGE and EXTRA-LARGE
is too much for them. They are thinking
in terms of themselves when they’re in
specting your shorts. Do they ever try
them on?”
“Once in a while.”
“There you are. Inspector 7 puts on
the shorts, and on the basis on his height
and weight is down-sizing all your gar
ments. He has probably never seen a tru
ly LARGE or an EXTRA-LARGE waist
in his life.”
There was a pause on the other end of
the line followed by some rapid chatter in
Chinese. Finally the man came back on
the phone and said, “We will be happy to
make a pair of shorts to your size if you
will give us your measurements.”
“That’s very kind of you,” I told him.
“But I’m calling not only for myself, but
for all the large-sized men in America.”
“Would you like us to fire Inspector
7?”
“Of course not. Inspector 7 is probably
a very fine man. But I don’t believe you
should permit him to try on shorts for
America.”
“All of our employees are small,” the
man said.
“Then in order for you to maintain
your credibility in the United States I
suggest that you invite some portly
American tourists to come into the fac
tory and show your inspectors what is a
LARGE size in shorts and what is X-
LARGE.”
“But if we do that, Inspector 7 will lose
face.”
“He will either have to lose face or put
on weight. If you people in Hong Kong
want to flood our stores with clothes,
you’re going to have to start thinking
BIG.”
The Battalion
Letters Policy
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77843.
by Clay F. Richards
United Press International
WASHINGTON — Having a presi
dent in the White House is not necessari
ly in the best interest of a political party.
The Republican Party was pretty
nearly sucked dry by the Nixon years and
Jimmy Carter did the same thing to the
Democrats during his four years in
office.
Richard Richards is a prudent leader de
voted to the nuts and bolts activities of
building the party at the grass roots level
rather than being a grandstanding party
leader with the party crumbling beneath
him.
That the two major parties survived is
in large part due to the leadership of two
national chairmen — Bill Brock, who re
built the GOP while Carter was in office,
and Charles Manatt, who is doing the
same kind of job right now while Presi
dent Reagan is in office.
The leaner Democrats devoted a con
siderable portion of their limited fi
nances to supporting the political activi
ties of the Carter administration. And
Carter had almost a disdain for the party,
refusing to do the kind of fund-raising
activity that would have replenished what
he was spending.
the 1984 candidate and write tht
form.
A direct mail operation wassii
that in a few years, if properly pi® 1IL
will make the Democrats capableo(i .m
peting with the GOP dollar for del
Democratic members of
somehow viewed for years as
part of the Democratic Party, havs! 0U 1
While the Reagan administration is
somewhat of a drain on the resources of
the Republican National Committee
right now, he is not hurting the party
badly for several reasons.
First among them is that the Republi
cans are drawing in so much money that
there is enough to finance both the White
House’s political activity, and the party’s
1982 election efforts at the same time.
Second, Republican Chairman
Even thotigh he is gone, Carter is still
burdening the party with some of his lef
tover campaign debt.
Manatt has moved swiftly and surely to
overhaul the party operation.
The bridges to their natural allies in
labor, burned by George McGovern in
1972, were quickly rebuilt by adding 20
union leaders to the Democratic National
Committee, five of them to the executive
ins.
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leni
eer
committee.
The delegate selection process was
overhauled so that more party leaders
and fewer party bombthrowers will pick
openly courted and brought into*
roles in running the party.
The party finally entered intoafi
cial arrangement that wiped outthel
standing debt it owned on the pres
tial campaigns of Robert Kennedi
Hubert Humphrey.
Democrats were able to hold a
term convention in Philadelphia
month where the enemy was Ral
Reagan, and not fellow Democratsiii
been the case in the two previousl
meetings.
Before he is out of office, Manaii
vowed to achieve another goal—at;
for the party in a building it owns,in:
of the rented space it now occupi
downtown Washington. _
In short, nothing builds a partil| un
being out of office.
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BATTLE IS LOST.,.
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REL1610US PERSECUTION,,
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ITS TIME WE PRAY FOR
MERCY AND ASK FOR HIS
INTERCESSION
NO, H*R BLOCK
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i
Don’t fire until you see maps
by Dick West
United Press International
WASHINGTON — When the House
began consideration of the $180.28 bil
lion defense authorization bill last week,
more than 35 amendments were stacked
up in a holding pattern awaiting possible
action.
Two of the proposals impressed me as
indicative of both what is right and what
is wrong with military thinking in Con
gress.
The wrong approach could be found
in an amendment to deprive servicemen
and their dependents of free pet care by
military veterinarians.
The Pentagon, as you surely are
aware, keeps telling us the armed forces
must be prepared to fight on many diffe
rent fronts. Prudent planning, therefore,
should include contingency plans for a
massive cavalry charge.
But what good would it do to beef up
our mounted troops if we didn’t have
enough veterinarians to treat cases of dis
temper and other equine ailments?
Pets owned by members of the armed
forces and their dependents provide
military vets with sick parakeets, hams
ters and other patients on which to shar
pen their skills during periods when
there isn’t much demands for treatment
of Army mules, warhorses and other
combat creatures.
It would be shortsighted in the ex
treme to ban this type of practice unless a
similar prohibition is imposed by the
Soviet army. We certainly don’t want a
horse doctor gap in our window of vul
nerability.
For contrast, consider the amendment
to require the Army map service to show
Estonia, Lithuania and Latvia and sepa
rate nations rather than as part of the
Soviet Union.
Here is a strategy I would like to see
expanded to other foreign policy aims.
America, for instance, supported Bri
tain over Argentina in the Falklands dis
pute. We couldn’t very well have sent
troops down there, but Congress could
have mandated that all Army maps con
tinue to show the Falklands as a British
possession, regardless of what side won.
That would have shown the world how
we feel about territorial aggressors.
Much the same is true of the Soviet
invasion of Afghanistan. We didn’t have
to boycott the 1980 Olympics to demons
trate our disapproval. We could simply
have adopted a policy of having Afgha
nistan appear on Army maps as an un
occupied country.
Is finding a homeland for displaced
Palestinians about to be made a partffpgj
our Middle East policy? Then let usbsLy [y
by revising maps of that region toincliijvayne
a country named Palestine. Riga,
Meanwhile, the maps of Soutlieps Mo
Asia could be redrawn to show Soiif Th(
Vietnam as we could have liked it tor Ve > ai
main. And so on throughout the worif re no
All of this — vet preparedness andc(K ore
tographical diplomacy — could be
for only a fraction of the total militaf
budget. And when you’ll spendit
"1.28 billion, every penny counts.
by Jim Berry
Berry’s World
mvoiv,
"He’s been like this ever since he learned that
there might be an NFL strike. ”