opinion
Battalion/Page 2
July 13, 1982
Slouch
By Jim Earle
“It was last week? Do you mean I stayed up all last night to
see an eclipse that happened last week?’ 9
Letter: Vandiver’s
world university idea
Editor:
I have some questions about President
Vandiver’s world university concept.
One, why did he leave out private
industry in his view of possible solutions
to world problems of hunger and pesti
lence? Since private enterprise and a
(comparatively) free market have been
the very source of the United States’ high
standard of living and support for land-
grant institutions, I fail to see a rational
reason for this huge omission. Two, why
did he fail to recognize the differences
between governments whose basic pre
mises are almost opposites; specifically.
the difference between a professor in the
U.S. whose salary is paid directly or indi
rectly through the benefits of free minds
in a free market and a professor in the
Soviet Union whose salary is paid from a
totalitarian system which exists off of the
toil it extracts from its undernourished
citizens?
His main concept is valid, that of im
proving the world with man’s reasoning
mind. But to assume that a state universi
ty can be blind to the founding principles
of its creating state (which set man’s pro
ductive mind free in the U.S.) is absurd.
Frank Knickerbocker
306 Redmund
From Sesame Street
to second childhood
by Dick West
United Press International
WASHINGTON — Omni magazine
reports that between a third and a half of
all children invent imaginary playmates
by the time they are 5 or 6 years old.
“The development of a fantasy friend
may be one of the first great creative acts
of the growing child,” it quotes a Yale
psychology professor as professing.
Furthermore, these childhood fig
ments don’t necessarily fade away with
exposure to the reality of schoolyards
and other corporeal manifestations.
“There are recorded cases of imagin
ary companions lasting a decade or
more,” Omni notes.
Yes, and sometimes our fabricated
friends turn up again in our second
childhood, usually looking for a loan or
trying to sell us insurance.
While Omni doesn’t delve into the
second childhood aspects of figmentary
companions, I would estimate that as
many as 27.8 percent have the capacity
for reappearing.
The amazing thing is how badly they
usually turn out.
The creative acts of a preschooler’s
brain seldom amount to a hill of beans.
Some do make it big, I suppose, but do
they give you a call when they’re in town?
Ha!
The pattern for successful dreamed-
up companions who reappear in second
childhood is to pretend they don’t even
know you. The ingrates!
How quickly they forget that if it we
ren’t for your fertile imagination, they
would never have existed at all.
serving on government commissions,
sending junior partners to ... but I am
getting ahead of the story.
Shortly after my sixth birthday, my
family moved out of the old neighbor
hood and I lost track of my imaginary
buddies.
Chudder, I heard someplace, drop
ped out of school, got into trouble with
the law and eventually joined the French
Foreign Legion.
I never thought of him again until one
recent evening when I was at home alone
I fancied I heard the doorbell ring. I
turned on the porch light and there, big
as fantasy, stood Chudder.
He looked about like he did when I
first fabricated him, only a bit seedy.
Kind of down on his uppers. Know what
I mean?
Chudder told me that since his most
recent parole, he had worked as a door-
to-door aluminum siding salesman, after
his unemployment compensation ran
out.
I must admit I gave him the brush-off
and again thrust him out of my mind.
As for Dryder ... Well, if that stuck-up.
Fancy Dan of a shyster ever pokes his
nose into my second childhood, I’ll give a
small but elegant dinner party in his hon
or. It’s the least I can do for an old im
aginary friend.
Terrorism—the real meaning
It’s funny how the same word can
mean different things to different
people.
Like terrorism.
The dictionary defines the term as
“terror, violence and intimidation used
to achieve an end.”
The Symbionese Liberation Army, the
Weather Underground and the Ku Klux
Klan all perpetrate examples of home
grown American terrorism. Bombs in
lockers and on school buses, burning
crosses — the land of the free and the
home of the brave is no stranger to such
acts of violence.
In June, when the furor was fresh
over the Israeli task force’s invasion of
Lebanon, signs and people at an MSC
hallway table condemned “Israeli terror
ism.” I asked one guy for his definition of
terrorism.
He said: “Terrorism is killing people
without a point. If you’re killing for your
country or for a purpose, it’s not ter
rorism.”
By that definition, nothing is terror
ism. The right and the wrong of the situa
tion rests on how the parties involved
define their terms. Sounds reasonable
enough, right? I mean, everything’s rela
tive, after all, right?
Garbage.
The SLA had a purpose: rip off
enough banks so they could start their
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“The Na
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Weather Underground had a purpose:
they planted bombs in airport lockers
and such to protest the war in Vietnam.
Saying that “killing with a purpose”
isn’t terrorism is a cop-out, pure and sim
ple. A burglar that shoots the homeow
ner he’s robbing has a purpose, too: he
doesn’t want to get caught. That doesn’t
make what he’s doing right.
And that brings us to the situation in
the Middle East, and a surprise:
Both sides are wrong.
The Palestinian Liberation Organiza
tion is aggrieved and indignant because
the Israelis got tired of having buses
blown up, bombs planted in airport lock
ers, officials’ cars exploding — indiscri
minate killing, about as honorable as a
knife in the back and nailing as many
grandmothers as grenadiers.
own country in the middle of California.
The Klan had (and has) a purpose: get
rid of those who are Different, i.e., black,
Catholic, Oriental, whatever. The
The Israelis have overreacted in their
decision to finally take some decisive ac
tion. Civilians have been killed in the
Israelis’ bid to root the PLO and Syrians
out of Beirut. That’s just plain wrong, as
wrong as a bomb on a school bus
end never justifies the means. ^
If anything, they should haVesti teaching
get-in-and-grt-out mission tocripp Chapel
PLO by removing its leadership-
kind of lightning surprise raidthef
well. That would have accom^
their goal — getting the PLOoutol
hair — and saved the lives of
Lebanese civilians who have since
caught in the crossfire.
Of course, if the PLO had been
to stand up in the light of day, eil
negotiate honestly or to a knocU™
drag-out f ight, instead of burrowiujB^y,- y-.
a civilian c ity, the situation would J T 11J
have existed.
The PLO is a terrorist drgani Jtereo equ
they are bomb artists who strike ®P es J a ue
your back is turned, who blowupci® 0 , ! 1 rom
ii i . Building or
on buses because they aretooegotis(B reets j n j
stiff-necked to negotiate for svhaiBurglarised
want — and who don’t have enouj^Bg j u iy 7.
organization oi discipline to standB The hr
pitched battle except when forcediiBnce throu]
T he Israeli task force /.s/iotalerpast side of
organization: they are part ofanaiB 11 ' 011 ?* 1 l ^'
armed force that is being misused, B Most oft
It all boils down to meaningsof»B iat 1 were s
, , Haul music,
again, this time die words right
“wrong.” If someone wants soini
and they don’t care who else hastes
for them to be satisfied, then very
becomes “wrong.” Anything—lies,i
murder, terrorism — becomesjusti
in the light of what someonepercek
the greater good.
Whether or not that sonieone'sbd
correct is a dif ferent matter.
Anyone
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United I
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Sam Houst
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FORCE ME ID PERFORM SEXUAL ACT'S AGAINST MV M
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Correction
Last column on CIA — maybe
The little chums my fevered brain
cooked up when I was a lad were named
Chudder and Dryder, which now sounds
like a law firm.
One of them — Dryder — did become
a high-powered attorney, knocking off
huge fees for opening tax loopholes,
In a story about the College of Agricul
ture published July 7 in The Battalion,
two figures were incorrectly reported.
The corrected figures are: total enroll
ment for the college in 1976 was 5,399
and the total enrollment in the fall 1981
was 4,923, reflecting a drop of less than
nine percent.
The Battalion regrets the error.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
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City Editor Bernie Fette
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Photographers David Fisher, Peter Rocha,
John Ryan,
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Questions or comments concerning any editorial mat
ter should be directed to the editor.
by Art Buchwald
This may be the last column I write
about the CIA. A recent law signed by the
President makes it a criminal offense to
name names “in the course of a pattern of
activities intended to expose covert
agents, if the government has reason to
believe that such activities would impair
or impede the foreign intelligence of the
United States.”
On paper it sounds good, but the law is
so broad that none of us knows exactly
what it means in terms of reporting the
news.
In addressing the CIA at Langley
when he signed the bill, President
Reagan opened up his talk by telling an
old joke. It used to be told about Mosko-
witz, but the President switched it to
Murphy.
The story was that there was an agent
named Murphy overseas who couldn’t be
contacted. So they sent another CIA
agent over to locate Murphy. The code
phrase to make contact was, “Tis a fair
day and it will be lovelier this evening.”
The agent went to a pub in a little town
in Ireland and asked the bartender,
“How would I get in touch with
Murphy?”
The bartender replied, “Well, if it’s
Murphy the farmer you want, it’s two
miles down the road, and it’s the house
on the left. If it’s Murphy the bootmaker,
he’s on the second floor of the building
across the street.” And the bartender
added, “My name’s Murphy, too.”
The agent picked up his drink and
said, “Well, ’tis a fair day, but it will be
lovelier this evening.”
“Oh,” said the bartender, “it’s Murphy
the spy you’re looking for.”
Everyone in the audience laughed ex
cept the reporters. The reason they
didn’t is they were not sure under the
new law if they could print the story, or
not.
It was obvious the bartender had
violated the Intelligence Identities Pro
tection Act by revealing the name of
Murphy as a covert agent and the poor
man could be sentenced to three years in
prison and fined $15,000 for the indis
cretion.
fork this ■
jackage.
States would be liable for arrest foi ;
vealing how the agent found out
Murphy was working for the CIA.Sit
Mr. Reagan is a government empic
his carelessness could cost him lOu*
prison and a $50,000 fine. NotoriU
Mr. Reagan name an agent, but HeJ
gave away a CIA code phrase'
gravely harmed Murphy’s intelli]
activities, and probably compromise
our entire covert operation in Irelai*
It wouldn’t surprise me if, at this™
moment, the Irish counter-intelligcfl
people are checking out every Murph'B
the boondocks.
Some people might say that I’vetaW
an extreme case, and the President wot*
not have mentioned Murphy in hfjB
unless the agent had already left
country.
But worse still, if the bartender was
charged with the crime, a newspaperman
could not tell about it without blowing
Murphy’s cover.
Even the President of the United
But it does dramatize the problems •
new law presents for those of us ii >1
out of the government.
Now you know why this may heron |
column about the CIA. I’m not goingf
do three years in the slammer the n (!
time Ronald Reagan tells his old joke J
out Murphy. (Besides, his name is re 1
Moskowitz.) ;l