opinion
Battalion/Page 2
May 19,1982
Slouch
By Jim Earle
CHECKS
CASHED
“If I was working during the time I wasted standing in
line to cash a check, I wouldn*t need to cash a check/*
Seats only available
in pacifying section
by Dick West
United Press International
WASHINGTON — The Senate cur
rently is wrestling with legislation that
would make health warnings on cigarette
packages sound more ominous.
While verbal jolts of this type may give
some smokers second thoughts, I doubt
they really do much toward helping
tobacco addicts break the habit.
For further assistance along that line,
we may need to look to Europe.
Just recently, big headlines were de
voted to reports of a new birth control pill
developed in France.
And now comes word that a team of
medical and industrial design specialists
in Austria have come up with the first
new baby pacifier in 20 years.
Called the Mam Orthodontic Pacifier,
it was introduced in Europe five years
ago but only this month has become avail
able in the United States.
In lieu of relating the lore and history
of pacifiers, which have been around
much longer than either cigarettes or
birth control pills, permit me to quote
one of the Americans involved in the
Mam import program.
“Personally,” he wrote, “I have found
it an effective substitute for a cup of cof
fee. And sucking on one in a plane usual
ly ensures an empty seat next to me.”
Here we have signalled what I believe
is the real, but as yet largely untapped,
potential for pacifiers.
Think for a moment of all the millions
of Americans who are trying to quit
smoking. Anyone who has ever been
If the new design is an effective coffee
substitute, why could not pacifier en
gineers also design one that would be an
effective substitute for cigarettes?
That way, when non-smokers raised a
hand to their lips, they could insert or
remove a pacifier and it would all look
perfectly normal.
And if, as the Mam man indicates,
adult use of the pacifier disturbs one’s
seatmates on a plane, perhaps the airlines
could divide passenger compartments
into three sections — one for smokers,
one for non-smokers and a new one for
suckers.
The Battalion
USPS 045 360
Member of
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Conference
Editor Diana Sultenfuss
City Editor BernieFette
Sports Editor Frank L. Christlieb
News Editors... Tracey Buchanan, Dan Puckett
Nancy Weatherley, Diane Yount
Staff Writers Cyndy Davis, Susan Dittman,
Terry Duran, Colette Hutchings,
Hope E. Paasch, Joe Tindeljr.,
Rebeca Zimmermann
Cartoonist Scott McCullar
Photographers David Fisher, Peter Rocha,
John Ryan,
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77843.
A sunrise experience relived
Ca
Dr. John
juston, a
He runs, like a child on Easter morn
ing going for his basket. Pajamas and
slippers are his dress for that new morn
ing — a Sunday. “It’s Sunday,” he says to
himself in excitement. His old pickup
truck starts cold as ever but revs up fast.
“I’ve gotta git there fast or I’ll miss it,” he
thinks. The cool air presses against his
quilted jacket melted in patchy places
from many campfires. “It’s gett’n light
fast, I can’t miss it!” Streets are bare and
haunted it seems — no life as during the
lateness of a day.
One thing drives his soul and body up
the winding walkway of the stadium. The
turns of the curved walk are endless,
“How many more? Oh, another one? But
what if he rises without me? Run, boy,
run! It’s early yet, but run faster!” His
house slippers rip a thread more as he
runs his heart and mind and soul up
ward. In desperation, he ignores it and
thinks the slippers are made for only
these moments — this moment, this red,
swirling Sunday — this one of being alive.
A flock of pigeons tears out from the
sound of running and panting. His heart
skips a beat as they steal the energy into
their own beating flight.
At last, the cement canyon opens to
the everlasting sky — a dark blue, “The
darkest of the spring!” Dark but light,
and he looks east and finds the sun has
waited for his arrival. Then he swings
west in a fearful glance hoping the near
full moon has not yet faded in the morn
ing glaze. There is the cratered being
facing the sun in her early morning re
verence.
Will the clouds block his beaming vi
sion as he cracks the sky of the horizon?
The Boy only waits, “When will he come?
Is he coming at all?”
As he waits, his eyes wander the scene,
of buildings, and lights, and trees. He has
not noticed the trees before, or the mas
sive greenness of it all until taking this
perch atop the stadium. The pool blue in
its tired smoothness. The sky shows blue-
dark, a bright, pin-tip star light-years
away, a long, narrow gray string of clouds
■xas A&M
spanning north to south, asmallanuggents, has
from where day will begin any mononorary doc
Impatience gnaws at him astti(■ee by Fi:
turing cows in western fields grandma mater,
cuds, with the difference, that,thel|p ) * e 'j ian *
ness is building, and it seemslikeafiffl san “ SY 11 '
man’s line taut with the we ‘ghtofaMj. t ^ e ^^ 1 j
strous catfish below about tosnapaiH n H ousto
to things. Bhe Hume
... , , Life Prograr
But then, a red, silent birthnijffi rinano f t ]
ment plays its act upon the land,aMandserve
in the east, beyond the greens andfard of dire
ings, a painted movement, sbBColeman
noticeable. It is silent and slow,bui|p as A&M
eyes can spot the moments and]P e 1 ' l ‘'
ings. Fires loom inside, aglow witfe
energy of a newborn star. This staiB , .~ aren
sun of man, has watched the Ian® ess01 ,°
earth for trillions of similar cycles,®" Y&M*
He sees the red chip; a cool In®
ferries him aloft to a place high up |
heaven; and he thanks the Lori
morning and the peace he holdsit
Tom Bed u
through the ordeal will tell you one of the
biggest hurdles is finding something to
do with your hands.
Through reflex action, the hand con
tinues to rise to the lips, which now are
empty of cigarettes, pipes or cigars.
This gives other folks the impression
that the new nonsmoker is blowing kisses
at them.
And the next thing you know you may
be in need of some of the aforemen
tioned pills.
I personally licked the problem by
growing a beard. Whenever my hand
would reflexively spring to my mouth, I
would simply give my beard a reflective
tug and others would assume I was medi
tating or pondering.
That system, however, does not work
very well for women who are giving up
cigarettes or for men who for one reason
or another find it inconvenient to have
hair on their face. Here is where the paci
fier comes in.
Registrai
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Registr;
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Play catch-up reading the Record
aln
by Davis S. Broder
WASHINGTON — The best way to
catch up on what has been happening
here in the capital while one is away on a
reporting trip is to read The Congres
sional Record. Its pages reflect the activi
ties and concerns of our lawmakers more
sensitively than any other source.
And so it was, when I returned from
nine days on the West Coast, that I
turned eagerly to my favorite journal. It
did not fail me.
By rough count, there were 33 Repub
licans praising the disappearance
(however temporary) of any measurable
inflation and 61 Democrats weeping
tears (some of them crocodile) at the
surge in unemployment.
There were none who even hinted that
the latter calamity might be associated
with the former blessing.
The man who came closest was Sen.
Harry F. Byrd, the Virginia Indepen
dent, who is retiring this year. “Washing
ton, D.C. — this Congress,” he ex
claimed, “is living in a fool’s paradise.”
Byrd was speaking of the $1 trillion fed
eral deficit, soon to be swelled by at least
$100 billion.
Congress is concerned about the
budget. In the seven Congressional Re
cords I read on my return, at least 70
members must have urged that it be cut.
They did not, however, do the dirty
deed. »
My favorite exchange on the subject
involved Sens. Donald W. Riegle Jr. (D-
Mich.) and Bob Dole (R-Kan.). Riegle be
gan in classic fashion, saying “we need to
move ahead here in the Senate with the
issue of crafting a federal budget.” He
ended by accusing the Republicans of
“exhuming Jimmy Carter to blame Car
ter for today’s recession.”
Said Dole: “I listened with interest,
thinking I might hear something new,
but, as usual, it is the same old speech ...
Many in this body seem to be running
against Herbert Hoover. Give us a few
years to run against Jimmy Carter, and
then we can balance things later on.”
It would be unfair to leave you with the
impression that Congress did nothing
during this period. It celebrated or proc
laimed Ground Zero Week, National
Snowmobiling Month, Missing Children
Day, Older Americans Month, National
Orchestra Week, National Nurses Recog
nition Day, Clean Air Week — and the
National Day of Prayer.
It commended Egypt and Israel for
the turnover of the Sinai and Canada for
getting its constitution back from Britain.
It commended Britain for standing up to
Argentina. It authorized a gold medal
for retired Admiral Hyman Rickover,
but only after inserting a chintzy proviso
that Rickover’s gold would have to be
financed from the sale of souvenir
bronze reproductions.
That kind of symbolic cost-
consciousness is very popular in Con
gress right now, even when dealing with
such emotionally charged topics as crime.
Sen. John Heinz (R-Pa.) introduced the
Omnibus Victims Protection Act of 1982,
which he said “insures that the federal
government does all that is possible to
assist crime victims, without additional
federal expenditures and without in
fringing on the constitutional rights of
defendants.”
Twenty-four other senators found
that promise irresistible — half of the
co-sponsors men, like Heinz, whose
terms expire this year.
Congress did not duck the big issues of
war and peace. For three straight days,
Heinz’s colleague, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-
Pa.), tried to amend the defense author
ization bill to say that “it is the sense of
Congess” that the leaders of the United
States and the Soviet Union should meet
“at the earliest possible date ... to reduce
the risk that nuclear war would octt
You wouldn’t think that would be
troversial, but it seemed so to somef N er the
erful Senators. They kept amenc 1 ^ me y
Specter’s language and delaying the®^ °P
until after I got back. J Q n t ^j s
United
Today is
the 139th <
to follow.
Those 1
But other major defense quest
were settled. After several hours oh American
In 19
bate spread over two days, Sen.
Quayle (R-Ind.) was able to get Si
approval of an amendment that
strengthen America’s fighting caf
and send a clear signal to the Soviet
will prevent the transfer of controloft
schools for overseas dependents <
dren from the Department of Defen!
the Department of Education.
The best summary comment on'i
had been going on came from Rep.S j
O. Conte (R-Mass.). “I do not wanttoj
into this guerrilla warfare,” he saiJI
ward the end of the week I was away, 1
I will tell you one thing: The public !
there is laughing at this Congress. |
Conte was protesting a move by aj
pie of fellow Republicans to outflanlj
Democrats and grab the credit
budget-busting bill to bail out the a’
housing industry.
But what he said read like a gi
indictment of the members of Conjn|
“Everybody wants to have their dawl
court. They want their cake, andf|
want to eat it, too. Rome is burning, 2 *
they are playing their fiddles.” I
And proclaiming it National M 1 *
Appreciation Week.
anes bon
In 19
American
at least 4C
hidden in
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the small society
by B
rickmQflj
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