opinion
Battalion/Page 2
March 23, 1982
Twinkle,twinkle
David Stockman
by Dick West
United Press International
WASH INGTON — Nobody would be
so foolish as to try to equate astronomy
with economics. Nevertheless, a con
fused layman who attempts to keep
abreast of the latest developments in
these two sciences can scarcely avoid
drawing a few parallels now and then.
That old feeling of deja vu, or having
been there before, came stealing o’er me
as I was reading about a new hypothesis
regarding our home galaxy, also known
as the Milky Way.
Certain sky-watchers now postulate
that we have in the core of the galaxy our
very own “black hole.”
A black hole, in case you came in late
on this, is a huge mass so tightly com
pressed that nothing, not even light rays,
can escape its gravitational field.
Astronomers have been spotting black
holes out there in the firmament for a
number of years, but none of us conf used
laymen thought much about it.
The fresh evidence that one exists so
close to Earth, relatively speaking, places
them in an entirely dif ferent perspective.
The key element, as I understand it, is
the belief that the Milky Way’s black hole
“periodically swallows great pieces of
material, even entire stars.”
Maybe that explains what happened to
my electric bill last month.
The real source of awe and wonder
ment, however, is how much the astro
nomers who conjectured the existence of
the black hole sound like budget special
ists expounding on the economy.
Indeed, by putting a few words in the
economists’ mouths, we can have them
saying almost exactly the same thing:
WASHINGTON — The President’s
Council of Economic Advisers today re
ported the discovery of a “black hole” at
the core of the federal budget.
They hypothesized that the phenome
non is located between Medicare and
Medicade, the twin outlays of the Trojan
Horse constellation.
As seen by Dr. John Kenneth Tur-
nipblood, a supply-side consultant who
first deduced their existence, economic
black holes are great masses of national
debt collapsed to such density that no
thing can escape their pull.
Viewed from the White House, the
budget is a giant, flattened system of spir
aling expenditures containing billions of
federal programs.
It is known that all debits and liabili
ties, including the vast military buildup,
circle around the budget’s core. Howev
er, the center is obscured by swirling
clouds of surplus cheese, making direct
observation difficult.
“Entire spurts of revenue enhance
ment are drawn into black holes,” Tur-
nipblood has speculated. “Their attrac
tion is so strong that even tax cuts and
spending drops cannot escape.
“This is why many economic programs
produce no visible results. The benefits
trickle down into a black hole and are
never seen again.”
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GOP fish have a lot to learn
Slouch
By Jim Earle
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“It’s the ultimate in vending machines! First, it was bot
tles, then paper cups; and now they’ve eliminated the
cups
t”
by Don Phillips
United Press International
WASHINGTON — Freshmen Re
publicans in the House know that many
of them won’t survive the 1982 elections,
and they are running scared.
Their fear led them into a serious
blunder, however, and it is generally con
ceded by everyone (except the first-
termers themselves) that they made fools
of themselves in an attempt to blame the
Democrats for current economic prob
lems.
There are times, it seems, that an old
adage still applies: “Freshmen should be
seen and not heard.”
It happened this way:
The class of first-term GOP members
who came to Washington to change the
world — as most freshmen do — sudden
ly have found themselves and their party
in an embarrassing position. The eco
nomy is faltering shortly after a Republi
can economic plan breezed through Con
gress, and a Republican president now
has proposed a budget with a deficit that
might surpass $120 billion.
The heat from back home hasn’t been
pleasant.
What’s more, the Democrats in the
House have decided not to put a compre
hensive budget on the table yet, choosing
to go the normal route of the budget
process that would not call for a compre
hensive plan for several weeks yet.
That means that the GOP budget is
sitting out there like a big target on a
short gun range. But there is no Demo
cratic budget to shoot at.
So, someone in the freshman class had
a bright idea: all 54 of them would line up
on the Capitol grounds and hold a press
conference to denounce the Democratic
leadership for dragging its feet and fail
ing to bring any major legislation to the
floor.
They picked a spot with just the right
light and just the right view of the Capitol
dome for the television cameras.
They ignored quiet pleas from both
the White House and GOP leader Bob
Michel of Illinois to cool it during this
sensitive period when both parties are
working behind the scenes to find a
budget compromise. They were so ada
mant, in fact, that they refused even to
give Michel an advance copy of the mate
rial they were going to hand out to the
press.
Promptly at 10 a.m., Thursday March
11, they began their press conference. At
about 10:01 a.m., things began to fall
apart.
To begin with, the morning was foggy,
so the Capitol dome didn’t stand out as
dramatically as they hoped.
Then reporters began asking ques
tions that they hadn’t counted on: Aren’t
you just grandstanding to take the heat
off your own party? How can you say the
House isn’t busy when there are 40 to 50
committee hearings every day? Isn’t the
budget process right on schedule, as writ
ten in the budget act?
Putting 54 politicians together in one
place and expecting them to be silent
while one of the group talks — especially
politicians good enough to be elected to
Congress — is like expecting one dog to
eat in the kennel at feeding time.
Members began shouting from the
back of the group, and the press confer
ence gradually deteriorated into a shout
ing match. Small groups of members
reporters broke off into small groups!
arguments.
Freshman class president Thom
Hartnett, R-S.C., abruptly called a
the press conference, wagging his fmi
at a reporter and sputtering: “Justrq
our actions; don’t interpret them.”
But the embarrassment didn’t
there. Michel, their own GOP leader,
on the House floor that he disagreedtl
Congress is moving too slowly.
“I don’t think we can make a judgraa
on the effectiveness of this body ortl
other house on the basis of what we ha 1
on this floor,” said Michel in response
questions from Rep. Robert Walker,
Pa., who daily has complained of sl(
action.
“There are some orderly proced
around here that have to be pursui
said Michel. “And we have to wait
those committees to work.”
Budget Committee chairman Jai
Jones of Oklahoma then called a pi
conference to express his anger at
freshman action, accusing them of beii
hyocritical because many of them td
him privately they agreed with the wav
was handling the budget.
“I wish they would be honest, and
they are schizophrenic I wish they’d
doctor,” said Jones.
Jones threatened — perhaps half
riously — to throw President Rea
budget onto the House floor and
mand an immediate vote if that’s "ii
the freshmen wanted. Clearly that isi
what they want. None of them wantii
vote for a deficit that large.
The freshmen don’t know exa<
what they w'ant now, except off the hod
Letter: Students should increase political awareness
Editor:
As you may know, many so-called
Reagan supporters are now publicly
attacking his administration for high in
terest rates. Rather than going for the
real culprit behind the current industrial
collapse, Paul Volcker, they chide that
the budget must be f urther cut and taxes
increased to bring down the deficit.
These hypocrites claim that the high de
ficit is pushing interest rates up.
You don’t have to have a degree in
economics to see that the opposite is
actually the case. America needs afford
able credit to produce. The unconstitu
tional independence of the Federal Re
serve must be put to an end. It should
instead function under the U.S. Treas
ury Department. Also a new series of
U.S. notes backed by our gold reserves
must be issued at 4S?-6% interest for
capital intensive investments in agricul
ture, industry and commerce. These
notes would be channeled through the
private banking sector for tangible
wealth creating enterprises only.
Limited space prevents me from ela
borating further on how to increase the
money supply without fueling inflation,
for reindustrializing the United States.
However, if you or anyone you know-
are concerned about the economic fu
ture, I implore you to come by the Rud
der fountain area and get more informa
tion from the National Democratic Policy
Committee. March 25 from 10 a.m. to 4
p.m. Political Forum is sponsoring “Poli
tical Awareness Dav” on March 25 and
many groups including the NDPC w ill be
represented.
Also at 7 p.m. the same day in room
604 A&B Rudder will be the first organi
zational meeting for the National Demo
cratic Policy Committee. A videotape
presentation will be given on how to re
verse the current agro-industrial col
lapse. I implore all those who support
economic growth based on advanced
agricultural, industrial, and nuclear tech
nology to come to this video presenta
tion.
Brian Wilson
College Station
Thief strikes again
Editor:
This is an op>en letter to the person
who threw a brick through the window of
a friend of mine’s w hite Mustang parked
across from Sbisa Friday night and stole
the contents of the car:
You have probably pawned every
thing that you could get a dime for by
now. I am sure there is no hop>e for the
return of the stereo, the C.B., and the
stereo headphones. But the other things
that were in the car probably cannot
bring you any profit. The fishing p>oIe
that was taken has strong sentimental
value to my friend. My clothing is of no
use to you unless you are a size 9. Neither
are my towels, tennis shoes, sw-eats, or
laundry basket. Instead of dumping what
is left of our belongings in the nearest
trash receptacle, please leave them in a
bag in front of either Walton E-4 or
Mosher 418. Our belongings do us no
good in the garbage, but their return
could help ease some of the burden you
have put us under by your actions.
Carol Glaser
Final salute to professors
Editor:
With the recent passing of Spencer J.
Buchanan, Professor Emeritus of Civil
Engineering, an era of outstanding pro
fessors who had immeasurable influence
on many Aggies has passed. The unique
ness of these men was in their desire to
not only implant the seed of technical
excellence, but that of self-confidence
and enthusiasm for life and all its adven
tures.
In a final salute and thanks to you:
Mr. J.B. Baty
Mr. S.J. Buchanan
Dr. E.L. Harrington (ret.)
Mr. C.J. Keese (ret.)
Mr. Roger McGee
Mr. Joseph Orr
Dr. E. Sanstedt
Mr. J. Sorrels
Dr. S.R. Wright
Mr. Robert Rhodes
F. Lane Lynch
Pittsburgh, f*
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