opinion
What I learned in school today
As we huddled around the 16mm pro
jector, I grew more paranoid. I could
sense legions of MAP (Mothers Against
Pornography) members moving toward
us in the darkness, waiting to cast a net of
aspersions on our moral character.
We had gathered together, bretheren,
for a bit of educational movie viewing in
the privacy of a frfend’s apartment —
movies with stars who hadn’t gone all the
way to the big time.
Were we aware of a recent showing of
Deep Throat to about 500 University of
Houston students, who had cleared the
flick with the district attorney? Yes,
ma’am.
We decided, rather than let everyone
and their spiritual counselor know about
our surreptitious show, to limit our audi
ence to a few hand-picked associates who
hungered for 20 frame-a-second educa
tion.
We weren't prepared to deal with the
off-screen antics that a more publicized
showing would draw.
On the UH set, for instance, at least
three big-name, poly-denominational,
see-no-evil groups complained about the
showing to Harris County District Attor
ney John Holmes (no relation to the film
star), according to The Associated Press.
He replied that he would not prosecute
under Texas obscenity statutes, as the
groups requested, even though he
doubted the educational value of the
Harry Reems-Linda Lovelace pas de
deux.
One complainant, responding to the
degenerative effects of watching a poor
ly-edited piece on moving white curtains,
is reported to have said, “I don’t send my
children to college so they can see
obscene movies.”
Well, fellow children, sub-adults and
usurpers of the Powers that Be, I felt
moved to respond. I have labored under
the impression that college was designed
to strip fetters off of the mind. At least
that’s what my counselor in high school
said, ma’am.
Can you imagine my shock at her state
ment, to know that I had been duped for
most of my semi-adult lifetime into be
lieving that discipline away from home
was self-imposed? Heavens.
When this realization came to me be
tween reels of the quadruple feature we
had arranged, I rushed headlong for the
telephone, to spill my trembling fear
upon the unerring ear of Mum and Dad.
Ring, ring, click. “Hello.”
“Dad, this is Todd. I have bad news.”
“What, you’re not doing so well in
school?”
“No dad, worse.”
“What, you’re not feeling well, son?
Maybe your mum can fix some hot chick
en soup for you, if you come home.”
“No dad, I found out something ter
rible.”
“What, you’ve found another coach
there? I thought you had the best.”
“No dad, well, yes, dad, we do have the
best, but that’s not it.”
“Well, get to the point, son. You know
you shouldn’t spend your hard-earned
money on expensive phone calls. You
could invest instead.”
“Dad, I found out from a woman in
Houston that I shouldn’t watch those in
expensive X-rated shows everyone re
commended when I was in high school.
Something about me going blind, or
lame, or your not paying for something,”
I said. “Is that true?”
“Well, son, I really hadn’t thought ab
out it. I thought watching artsy films was
part of stripping off your fetishes — I
mean fetters — loosening your percep
tions, expanding your vision.”
“Yeah, me too, dad. But apparently
we’ve been deceived by the forces of
darkness, overcome by lasciviousness
and generally not been too bright. How
could that have happened?”
“I give up, son. You’ve gone to school,
how could it have happened.”
“I think it could have happened like
this, dad. We’ve been blinded from the
truth, led astray, pushed down the wrong
fork.”
“Well, I tried to tell you to start using
your silverware on the outside, and work
your way in.”
“No dad, the wrong fork in the road.”
“Right. Well, yes ... here we are. What
do you plan to do about it?”
“I have decided to stop watching those
nasty things on the silver screen. I will
instead travel to Houston to see the artsy
performances in the flesh, so that my
eyes stay true.”
“Bravo, bully, bloody good show, son.
Don’t let the fetters get you down. Your
mother will be proud of her problem
solving child.”
“Yes, dad, I’m sure she will. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, son. Have a good time and
write us about what happens.”
“I will, dad.”
CDLUd0U5 •«> R0Z
DO yOU THINK
m.L EVER COME?
Reader’s
Freedom
Editor:
Well Murray Moore, (Feb. 10 Batta
lion) you not only managed to completely
ignore the social and political implica
tions of the Hatch Amendment, but you
also grossly misinterpreted Miss Philo’s
sentiments (Feb. 8). Regarding the first
point, the Hatch Amendment may zero
in on abortion as its focal point, but I feel
that the pertinent issue at hand is
whether or not the government has the
right to make such a personal and ethical
decision as the right of abortion. I am by
no means an advocate for abortion;
however, I do not believe that the U.S.
government can make a blanket decision
regarding this issue. I see a vast differ
ence between abortion of an “accidental”
teen pregnancy and an abortion for a
rape victim for whom childbirth would
b^ i t ' solved
i eason-
ing and standards to her personal situa
tion.
You ridicule the “ . . . woman and her
all-knowing, all-good doctor. . .” but ac
cording to your letter you regard the
United States government as the omnis
cient and moral conscious entity best
qualified to make such a decision. In my
eyes, the government has as much busi
ness deciding this issue as it does decid-
Forum
of decision
ing whether Americans be allowed to
choose for themselves whether to drink
or not. You will, I’m sure, remember
how much that idea appealed to the
American people
I see the Hatch Amendment as a
threat to us “conservative pro-choicers”
as much as it is a boon to you “pro-lifers,”
Mr. Moore. Furthermore, I feel that I
should be allowed to die a natural death if
that is my wish whereas you seem to feel
that I have no such right and that a doc
tor must, by law, keep me alive as long as
he can, regardless of my state. What
rights will you allow me, Mr. Moore if I
do not even have the right to die a natural
death? Once again I emphasize not what
is the right or wrong decision, but merely
that I should be allowed the freedom of
decision.
A to your opinions of Miss Philo’s
sentiments concerning other humanistic
issues or her similarity to Ted Kennedy, I
have to laugh. She is not the “bleeding
heart liberal” you say she is. However,
just to be fair, I’ll call her and make sure
she hasn’t become a “genocidal maniac”
since I saw her last; I certainly have not
noticed that tendency in the three and
one half years I’ve known her.
D. Scott Collier ‘85
is real issue
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Correction
In a cutline Wednesday, The Batta
lion incorrectly reported that 1,400 of
the 1,500 available applications for the
osition of Fish Camp counselor had
een turned in. However, only 400 appli
cations have been turned in. The Batta
lion regrets the error.
Battalion/Page 2
February 12,198;
Slouch
By Jim Ea
by Chri;
Battalion
The Americ:
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‘This is a new first. He told me he could not make class , a - m ; , to '
i Third addre:
because he had to talk to his counselor about how he ■sis: Its Origi
Impact”
farcin Sar,
could improve his grades. ”
the Rock
Mondale studying for
‘intellectual’ campaign
idder Theate
10:30 a.m. to
Round Table
Round Table
By David S. Broder
WASHINGTON - A year ago, when
he had just been removed from the
White House office he enjoyed as vice
president of the United States and se
vered from the public payroll for the first
time in 20 years, Walter F. Mondale
painted an idyllic picture of the life that
was about to open up to him as a private
citizen and highly paid Washington
lawyer.
It would be, he said, a life of the mind,
of reading and reflection. His book list
would be prepared by historian Barbara
Tuchman, with supplemental reading
suggested by leading economists, busi
nessmen and national security analysts.
In pursuit of wisdom, he would travel to
Europe, and become a familiar figure at
the universities and research centers of
his own land.
That was 1981. This is 1982. Mondale
has looked up from his reading and he
has noted something remarkable: The
1984 election campaign is only two years
away.
If you covet a glimpse of Mondale
these days, do not look in the library; try
the airport, instead. Last Wednesday, he
flew off to Tampa to do some anthropo
logical field work at the state fair. On
Thursday, it was on to Tallahassee for
some intellectual exchanges with mem
bers of the legislature and a scholarly
lunch with Gov. Bob Graham (D). On
Friday, he went to the source of much
wisdom, a Dallas newspaper editorial
board luncheon, and then made a speech
to the teachers of tomorrow’s leaders at a
National Education Association conven
calendar, still incomplete, lists IIou
in ten states, all of them, except hisiH
Minnesota, blessed not just vvithiiH -m
tellectual resources but presidentiikT \
maries as well.
When I caught up with him the*
day after a cable television tapifl
Washington (another part of his kfe by Chari
urge for scholarly discourse), hesacl Battalion
by June or so, he would tehrhimsf A request foi
gretfully away from his first love® ^S na /
law, literature and learning, and^
almost full-time” for the Democtaw, . v y wo
It is his goal, he said, to camM
personally this year for “15 to20|tfpTexas A&N
of the Democratic candidates
House and Senate and governor® 6 ™ 1 ^ ,. la ^
number that translates to close ”
worthies. gW the re
By coincidence, the Democratic$1) 300 w ill co
committee has just agreed to save®
15 percent of the seats at the 1981m. -■
vent ion for elected and party ol® O£
including most governors, sienatocRlUvX V.
representatives. I f Mondale isaseffiL
as he is forehanded, almost every*
whom he campaigns will be inaifiLm was nan
to repay the favor wdth a vote. HacArthur Ca
When I asked Mondale why 1 ^ol. James R.
making this exceptionally heavy commandant,
ment of time in 1982, he said itThichenson,
going to be “a year of great ™ a J or f
the “radical and destructive” proMr*;"j e V 1
the Reagan administration, “and rev j ew
to make the case. People are sal i ent Council
from these policies, and we canii 1 Affairs,
for 1984 to turn them around." | Dickenson 1
tion.
This week, the course of scholarship
took him to eight fund-raisers for seven
Democratic congressmen in Ohio, Michi
gan, Wisconsin and Iowa. Then there is a
break for 10 days of skiing in Vail. (One
must excercise the body, as well as the
mind, goodness knows.) The March
And having made it clear thatk
tive was scholarly — not crassly
— he glanced at his watch and
away. Watching him go, the #fij|
occurred that if Edward Kenned)',||
Glenn, Reubin Askew, Gary Hartf
the rest want to catch up witni|
Mondale, they really better start 1»
the books — especially the booktltf
always studying, the Official 0
Guide.
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